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I just broke up with my boyfriend 4 days ago, but there's no good break up story attached to it. I'm sad.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry - hugs & chocolate to you :)
DeleteChocolate ice cream. Hugs. So sorry.
DeleteOh...and that note is very funny. The guy lost a great girl.
ReplyDeleteI just told his mom to tell him we are done.
ReplyDeleteHugs to @crila.
ReplyDeleteThat letter in the photo is awesome. Good for whoever wrote that. I WOULD HAVE broken some things.
I love her style-the hearts and red pen just make it lusciously diabolical.
DeleteGreat letter!
ReplyDelete@crila Sorry Sweetie. Getting drunk is my only advice...and avoid anything Nicholas Sparks related.
ReplyDeleteAwesome letter.
ReplyDeleteI liked the break up note on the inside of a pizza box. Anyone see that?
I've only had one boyfriend and I married him. I'm just that hot.
Yay for you Sugar. That is an accomplishment. :)
DeleteVery creative!
ReplyDeleteMy husband broke up with me by sending me to a Scientology work camp in Nevada. I would have preferred the letter.
ReplyDeleteWhere's Shelley, Shelley?? Come out from whatever cold dark grave you are hiding in!!
DeleteBEWARE this is not the real shelly miscavige
DeleteWow detective RMSJ! Sharp as a TACK you are!!!
DeleteLOL!!!!
ReplyDeleteHeadbutted his face and broke his nose after a very cinical confession to cheating the day after we got engaged :) S2
He tought grabbing my arms was a good idea.... Not even I know I had that in me.... Glad it poped out :)
Didn't break anything else of his.....
Yo! LeGrange! Wickedbadawesomeasskickinamazing!
DeleteNever cause a scene, never raise a hand nor my voice and never rant anywhere on the net. Never. Facebook is not your friend in a break-up.
ReplyDeleteThere may or may not be any tears... but there will be a scathing email or 3. with quotes like... "I hope my smile is that last thng you see on your way to hell" or my personal favorite, "I hope oyu die before me, so that I may have the pleasure of pissing on your grave".
My all time favorite response to the comment... "I'm not the only one to blame here, you are at fault too". My response.... "Oh yes, this IS my fault... when I first met you years ago, my instincts told me that not to mess with such a worthless piece of shit like you and I ignored my instincts! Damn straight this IS my fault too. I knew you weren't worh shit back then!"
Beleive it or not... looking back, that was a good break-up. My voice was never raised... and I got all that angst off my chest then and there. It felt like hell at the time, but I'm actually laughing as I type this. The telephone rant and email rants were all worth it.
Found out my BF was cheating on me. Had a key to his apartment. Took a day off of work and went and spent hours taking all his albums (yes -- albums, I am OLD) out of their sleeves and putting them in different sleeves and then on top of that totally messing up his filing system. It felt good!
ReplyDeleteAwesome. Messing with OCD Geekdom is just AWESOME. You ROCK! I MIGHT have left a few random scratches but that is actionable and switching albums and album covers is just-meltdown inducing and HORRID. I think I love you...
DeleteI dated a guy for awhile who I thought was perfect. He did the cheesiest most romantic things that you would only see in movies. I thought things were going great until he told me that GOD was not leading him in my direction. And that he prayed about it. I was a lot younger at the time and even then It was sort of funny to me. I hate when people use those types of excuses. If you are just not feeling it, just say so. Don't be a pussy.
ReplyDeleteYou dodged a bullet. That is sociopath spiderweb behavior. Read outofthefog.net to get the pattern down. So glad he let YOU go.
DeleteMy sociopath, the International Man of Misery, dumped me like a bag of moldy potatoes and I am forever grateful. Just learned so much and have only missed the cue once since then. That was a scary-ass realization, too, but only in the aftermath. Both are still out there in the world. Wish I knew a way to trap and imprison these monsters.
The only answer, for me so fat, is to spread the word and educate people. The bag of tricks these *holes use is incredibly similar. Plenty of info on the 'net but outofthefog.net is the most succinct, helpful and grounded resource I have found.
Good job and glad you can laugh about it. So many have their lives ruined. Children get caught in the crossfire entirely too often. Sad!
Why? So CrowdGather can sell the story to a movie studio? No thanks.
ReplyDeletetimebob has not genitals timebob lonely
ReplyDeleteI shaved my junk yesterday. Not completely smooth (hate razor burn), just beard trimmer short. Not because anyone special was going to be seeing it, it just makes me feel sexy. Also, with summer coming, it helps maintain the crisp and clean feel a shower gives for a longer period of time. I did leave an eyebrow above it w/ the trimmer set at #3. Helps break up the monotony of flesh, should some lucky lady find her way down there. Also, if I'm going out, I'll dab some cologne on the eye brow, so everything smells nice down there. I pull out all the stops to make that environment as inviting as possible to try and generate interest in return trips.
ReplyDeleteOnly the front though. Shaved butt crack really gives an unclean feeling when it gets sweaty. I think thongs are so popular because they absorb the sweat in there. I'm not comfortable enough with my body to where a thong.
I can deal with the TMI of this off topic confession bur may I implore you to NEVER perfume your naughty bits? That I find most unpleasant.
DeleteUgh. UGH. I got dumped two days ago. He was cheating so I looked through his phone. He kicked me out of the house. All my things are there. I am totally completely broken.
ReplyDeleteSingle and homeless. I'm such a catch.
But you are STILL better than the lying cheating manwhore. Hope you have friends who can help you back up onto your feet.
DeleteGood luck picking up random men at the airport restroom, Count! I'm sure they'll appreciate the fact that you don't smell like your usual musty self!
ReplyDeleteAin't he just a prize winning piece of manflesh?
DeleteThis is a good one, but seriously looking at the handwriting it looks like it was written by a 16-year old. (you konw, all the hearts, big loopy writing, and on a spiral notebook?? Who buys those after high school) Anyway, I hope she was not 16, or there's more trouble to be had...
ReplyDeleteWhatever her age she handlee this really really well. No need to beat him up. Let the Universe do the job.
DeleteI am nonmanogamous. Cheating is for tge birds, though, and if there is a tacit agreement not to cheat then honesty is the best policy.
Too many do not recognize either their inclination towards multiple relationships, or even that this is a relationship option, due to the overwhelming cultural pressure, one size fits all 'solution'.
They seem to be young. Hope they work their stuff out. Cheating SUCKS. She has excellent boundaries and imho chose the best possible solution. Good on her!
Breakups are always soul crushing. Kudos to her for keeping her composure (somewhat)
ReplyDeleteFacebook definitely harms relationships, IMHO
In college, upon suspicions (and confirmed) cheating, I politely folded and packed all my live-in boyfriend's stuff in boxes and had my landlady change the locks.
ReplyDeleteIt was awesome until the bitch upstairs (whom he was cheating with most likely), said "you can live with me." Hello, Melrose Place.
My last boyfriend broke up with me on my birthday, via FB by changing his status from "in a relationship to single."
ReplyDeleteI should mention we are in our 30s and had been dating about 6 months. It was my version of the post it note break up.
Wow. Luvly. These kids today...
DeleteI really don't have any good breakup stories except I have never broken up with a guy, I have always been dumped. That said, I don't believe in revenge or holding resentment, my energy is best spent elsewhere. I also would be too lazy to do what the girl in this letter did.
ReplyDeleteI walked in on my fiancee in bed with a guy (luckily they had already done the deed and were asleep) so I went into the kids room, told them I loved them but I wouldn't see them again (they were her kids by her ex husband) and walked out.
ReplyDeleteCut to a few years later and when I was assistant manager of a restaurant, my ex puts in an application. The manager and I had become really close (considering she hated me when I started) and we were like brother and sister, she even called me her big brother at her wedding.
Anyway, she had heard the story and one day my ex called about her application and she was told to come in for an interview. On a day I was off.
From what I was told by the employees that were there, she left crying her eyes out. The manager had gone through the regular interview stuff and then asked things like "are you trustworthy" and "would you lie for your own interests" then brought up that I was the asst. manager and how she was nothing more than a common gutter slut. How she didn't deserve a guy like me and how there was no way she'd work there.
This had gone past an interview and my ex was now on trial by my friends and people like family to me.
My ex tried to defend herself by making shit up about my performance in bed when the manager asked one of the girls to come in and listen to her since she and I had slept together a few times. The girl called her on everything my ex said and provided pics of some of them from her phone lol They decided if the sex was bad it must have been because nobody could really get it up for my ex.
Since that didn't work, my ex tried to pull the "he didn't want to work" card and that was rebuffed with the fact that I worked 60+ hours a week.
I wish I had a tape of that, I really would've loved to see her get her comeuppance. Oh well, just knowing that the bitch got put in her place warmed my heart.
Yay for you and finding a great boss who stuck up for you. Though how you manage sex working 60+ hours is BEYOND ME. But I am old. And just nor that energetic ;)
DeleteGood for you!
My favorite kiss-off. Met a gorgeous, well paid consultant at a new job when I moved to the Bay Area. He was HOT. We flirted for a couple years. I left that job. We stayed in touch. He took me out to The Stinking Rose in San Francisco, and invited me to stay over at his apartment in the Marina. Please note he did not pay for my dinner nor did I expect him to. Since I had had two glasses of wine I verified he had an extra bedroom and I agreed to stay there.
ReplyDeleteHe was nice & gentlemanly. Til I got in bed and then he asked for a sexual favor as 'payment' for the overnight stay. I declined the opportunity. I also pushed the subject the next morning, asking for sex (was never gonna happen-just wanted to see what he would say). He told me he only had sex with women from his own country and was waiting for his parents to arrange a wedding. This guy was nearing 40 so I did not belueve his bs for a moment. Let's just say I left quickly without breakfast.
Fast forward several months. This *hole calls me and asks why I turned down the opportunity to service him. I told him I would be honored and please to rectify my failure to take him up on this huge gift he was offering.
We set a date to meet again at the Stinking Rose. I ordered a lot of REALLY expensive things on the menu, plus a bottle of wine, of which I had one delicious glass. He does not drink due to his religion and culture.
At the perfect monent, after getting his motir running and his hopes up, I excused myself, went to the bathroom with all my stuff, and left without him seeing me.
His phone calls were subsequently ignored and I have had the good fortune to never run into such a flaming butthole jerk since. But if I ever do I shall be well prepared to deal with them on the spot.
I now have a pretty well tuned bs/*hole/sociopath detevtor and just do not let them come within a mile of me.
Any one who has dealt with these worms is welcome to steal my idea. It was soooooo much fun and 10+ years later I am still proud of it.
Btw, this *hole has made a ton of money and is running some kind of scam charity thing. I think I will drop by his webaite and see if there is cause to throw a monkey wrench into his gears. Doubt he is married even yet. :)
Except for the very first serious boyfriend, I have always been the dumped and not the dumpee. Ouch. Oh well! Now I get to sit around in my underwear all weekend if I so chose, and the remote is ALWAYS in MY hand. I love it that way! Don't know if I'll EVER change my mind.
ReplyDeleteBest stories? Well, it often happened on holidays...Flag Day, Memorial Day, my 21st birthday. Oh, and one guy did it on the day my dog was put down. Classy, no?
AKM, Crazy Single Cat Lady and SUPER Happy (And Free!) That Way!
Singledom is frequently desired by the married & vicey versie. I am married & really have always wanted to live separately for mental health/energetic reasons.
DeleteWorking on it as we speak-my husband is FINALLY getting the message that I don't hate HIM, just LIVING with him. He is seeing new possibilities for us at last. Yay hobbit hubby!
Congrats for finding & choosing peace. Neither state is perfect bliss. Wanting what you have is so cool.
(Wait, the dumped and the dumpee are the same person, right? Eh, whatever. Y'all knew what I meant because you're smart that way.)
ReplyDeleteMy "favorite" was from a guy who "didn't love me in that way, but wanted me in his life." I politely declined, and he STILL kept emailing me about being "friends."
ReplyDeleteWhen I was single, I must have had the track record for guys who kept coming back. I'm extremely cruel when this happens. When I'm done, I don't look back. If a guy breaks up with me, he must as well think I've died, because I'm done with him.
When I was ultimately done with my soon to be ex-husband I made sure he knew exactly how I felt about him and his family got to see it too. The first few times he was thrown out of the house (with a police escort I might add) I boxed all of his clothes and some personal belongings and stored them in the house, and then re-did my closet. When we would "try" to reconcile and he would come home from rehab on weekends he had to go out in the garage for his stuff because I didn't let them come back in the house (this should have been his first clue that I wasn't very forgiving). After the final straw and I had him once again arrested he had to come to the house with the police to get his stuff. I told the cop that all of his stuff was out in the garage and that there was nothing in the house for him. I then handed the cops the keys to the truck that he had already totalled and told them it was all his. I peered out through the mini-blinds and saw his very ragged looking self (he was coming down off of drugs and alcohol and had spent the past 6 days in jail) hauling boxes and putting them in the back of the truck while the cops just stood and watched him. They then came and let me know that he was done and that he had been instructed that if he had forgotten anything that he wasn't allowed to come back and that they wouldn't assist him - that he would have to take me to court. I told the officer that I left a box of empty bottles and cans of his booze for him so that he could take them to the recycling center for some money since he didn't have any and smiled. The officer laughed and said that he would let him know and then he complimented me on how nice I was to have it all boxed up for him. Fast forward a couple months and I finished going through the house and getting together any other personal items of his and family mementos so that his bitch of a sister could come and get them. I carefully wrapped fragile things and labeled boxes and everything. I might have also boxed up more empty booze bottles and pill bottles (he hid them in veryb clever places) because I assumed that they must have been very special to him. I might have also made sure that some really perverted porn DVD's were placed on the top of boxes so they were the first things to be seen when opened. The bitch only took some of the stuff (I had it all on the front porch for her with the door locked), but I can't help it if the rest of it sat in the rain and then had free signs. The final thing I did was when I walked away from the house (I let it go into foreclosure because I was so underwater and he had damaged the house so bad that I just couldn't stand to be there any longer) there were still some of his things in the garage - including his first truck that he had torn apart as a project and it didn't run. I took my things and left his shit there and the investment people who bought it disposed of it all (the truck was titled under his name only). I let his family know about the house about a month after I left so that there was nothing that they could come and get. And now they don't know where I am - LOL! It felt really good.
ReplyDelete@Tillie: Attempting to gay-shame me is deplorable. It does nothing to me, but likely offends the gays in the audience, who are obviously a better class of person than to engage you in an argument about it. I am not in that high of a class, so I post this calling you out on your attempt at gay-shaming and ridiculing you.
ReplyDeleteIF I was ever in a situation where I needed money bad enough to go outside my sexual norms, I would do what your man probably does: close my eyes and think about Selena Gomez.
The best was when my only ex fiance and I were still doing it but I had moved out. He was supposed to come over and had stood me up.multiple times to sit at the bar and drink. I called there and made sure our mutual friend made it most imperitive he come over NOW. Then I dressed for a holoween party and left a note on the door and said, "How does it feel to be stood up?" Good Gawd that felt good.
ReplyDeleteAnd FTR I have always been the dumper and not the dumpee usually because I saw the writing on the wall. Except for my first. I felt (feel) incredibly bad about hurting him. He was a wonderful guy but I just didn't love him enough. He's been big enough to remain my friend after 30 years. He really is a good guy and yes he's moved on. His girlfriend now will even email me. He found a great girl.
ReplyDeleteoh call me psycho....no, he was cheating...
ReplyDeleteidiot checked his password.document on his computer w/me sitting right next to him, i looked the other way but my right eye 'wandered' i saw the words ______ ____ and it stuck w/ me. i thought "no, don't do it, don't snoop' but after suspecting him of cheating, i did some email snooping and bingo, the word i happened upon was email password. some interesting things said about me to his friends about my blowjob skills (no worries, theyre great according to him, but my cooking sucks), intimate moments, how i'm 'nuts' paranoid that he's cheating (he was) and checked his facebook w/ same password...i lingered for a bit, played dumb, wrote an anonymous letter to his mistress about personal/embarassing things about him and how he has a steady girlfriend. sent the email to her, broke up with him and let the fireballs roll! and they did...how did i know? cuz i enjoyed reading the emails about him freaking out after SHE freaked out on him!still after all that...he never suspected me...? duh! put 2 and 2 together. plus, after months of silence between us he calls and leaves a message about 'meeting up' read: sex. ahhh. no, you got OCD,i know cause i read about your therapist sessions : )