Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Tim Tebow Gets A Job

I don't usually write about sports much on the site. I figure there are plenty of sites that do it way better than I ever could. But, with Tim Tebow, he tends to bring out the average fan or someone who knows nothing about sports other than Tim Tebow plays foot ball and may or may not be a virgin, depending on whether you believe Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake had sex before they said they did or if the Jonas brothers were as chaste as they would lead you to believe all those years. Anyway, Tim was cut by the NY Jets and many thought he would be out of football forever. He is just not that good of a quarterback. Lo and behold though the New England patriots have signed him and since they already have a pretty good quarterback, I'm guessing Tim is going to be Tebowing as a tight end or some other kind of back.

Posted by ent lawyer at 7:30 AM

42 comments:

  1. libby7:35 AM

    The Onion's headline is "Patriots sign new long-snapper."


    Bwahahahahaahahaha

    Sorry Tebow.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown7:39 AM

    I know this isn't a sports site, but josh mccaniels is there and he is the idiot who wasted a first round pick on him so there clearly is some man love there

    ReplyDelete
  3. SusanB7:40 AM

    @RichardT - for those of us not huge sports fans, could you explain your comment? I'm not being snarky - I just don't understand what you're saying.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OKay7:46 AM

    I can try to explain...I live in Edmonton and we're all about hockey, so I understand this somewhat. I assume that McCaniels (McDaniels?) is the coach or manager of the team. A first round draft pick means he had first choice of everybody available and picked Tebow. Is that about right, Richard T?

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  5. PhoebeJ7:46 AM

    I think this is a favor Bill is doing for Josh McDaniels & Urban Meyer. Originally Tim said he wouldn't play any other position than QB. I'm surprised it is a two-year contract, but at least it is without any guaranteed money. Doesn't really bother me much as I'm a Colts fan.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Liz L7:48 AM

    @Richard T., Belacheck was also spotted having a "long lunch" with him in 2010 before he signed with the Jets.

    Bill transformed Randy Moss (at least as a disciplined player) and he believes he can do the same for Tebow with Tommy as his guide.

    It's not like he's guarenteed to play either. He'll work out at camp, train as a tight end (no joke, he's not training as back up quarterback) and then either sit the bench or get cut.

    ReplyDelete
  7. PhoebeJ7:49 AM

    @SusanB McDaniels is the Offensive Coordinator for the Patriots and the former coach of the Denver Broncos. When McDaniels was with Denver he traded into the first round to select Tebow in the draft. Which is why he is no longer the head coach of the Denver Broncos (among other reasons).

    ReplyDelete
  8. SusanB7:55 AM

    @everyone - thanks for the info - I enjoy football (Go Steelers!) but I follow baseball a lot more closely. Hopefully Tebow will do well there, I like any athlete who tries to live a scandal free life (I'm looking at you, Chad Johnson).

    OT - wish me luck guys - I'm off to give a presentation in front of 100 people and am EXTREMELY nervous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gayeld8:08 AM

      @SusanB. Good luck! Just remember to breathe and it'll get easier as you go along.

      Delete
  9. Robert7:55 AM

    I was hoping we'd seen the end of that idiot Tebow, but apparently Belichick thought it was important enough for him to plant one in the eye of the rest of the NFL to sign him even though he can't play worth a damn. I doubt if the "Tebow Show" will play much better in Boston than it did in New York. He'd have had a better chance of selling himself as a religious nut with delusions of being an NFL quarterback in a podunk market like Kansas City.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Count Jerkula7:58 AM

    Tebow could teach Belichek a thing or 2 about morals. Besides the fraud Super Bowl rings obtained through blatant cheating, Belichek was also found to be sugar daddying a Giants secretary, leading to the break up of her marriage. "Mediocre head coach, shit human being", those words will be on lil Bill's tombstone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surrender Dorothy8:52 AM

      @Count, it makes sense to me now why Belichek hired McDaniels back after all the shit he pulled here in Denver. I don't remember all the details but, aside from the horrible personnel changes he made and the fact that he sucked as a head coach, he also did some cheating-type bullshit like taking video of competitors' practices and playbooks. I feel like it was downplayed by the nfl. Anyway we were glad to see that little greaseball McDaniels go.

      Delete
  11. __-__=__8:32 AM

    How does Tebow get a contract without giaranteed money? I thought that was part of the contract.

    ReplyDelete
  12. libby8:38 AM

    The Count has Bill B's number! Listen to the Count if you don't know Bill Belichick!
    (Except you spelled his name wrong, Count---but forgivable. Knowing his REAL deal makes his name spelling immaterial.)

    And I agree with the earlier poster---Shouldn't we all just be talking about the COLTS?

    woot woot?

    ReplyDelete
  13. MadamChef8:39 AM

    Tebow annoys the hell out of me. He should read the part in his Good Book about not making a spectacle of your prayers and stop acting like he's Sexy Savior. It boggles the mind how many people jump to his defense because he's good Christian virgin boy. No, he's a player, and he's playing that image all the way to the bank.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brooke8:56 AM

      @Madam - I dunno, he spent a pretty penny on that Super Bowl ad a few years ago with his mom against abortion while he was still in college, so he didn't have NFL $$$ yet. That's an expensive move for an image scheme.

      Delete
    2. Surrender Dorothy8:57 AM

      Sing it @Madam! You're so right - Tebow may be dim but he's not *that* dim - he knows how to work the god-fearing football fans!

      Delete
  14. Unknown8:57 AM

    Is Belichek the coach with the foot fetish? Or is that someone else?

    break a leg Susan B!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. califblondy10:28 AM

      Isn't that Coach Ryan from the Jets?

      Delete
  15. CantHaveMyPurse9:01 AM

    Belichick is good friends with Urban Meyer. I would not be surprised if this was a favor he did to help out both Meyer and Tebow to allow him to save face. Cause right now Tebow is a punch line and laughing stock.

    If he was a halfway decent QB, there are at least a dozen teams who woulda taken him. They all need goo QB's. the fact that no one wanted him speaks volumes. The Patriots have a fantastic started and good backup. They don't need Tebow. So there is another reason this has happened.

    Also, there are lots of high risk players with no guaranteed money contracts. Meaning, you will be paid a salary for time with the team but if you're cut, they owe you nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Count Jerkula9:02 AM

    @Equation: The NFL does not have guaranteed contracts, only guaranteed portions (signing bonus). This is don't because the players have such a short shelf life.

    Tebow got no guaranteed money, because they don't want to risk salary cap space on him. He will have to earn his way on the team.

    To tell you the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if he was used in training camp with the B offense against the A defense, to give them practice against the running QBs that have become popular. Then at the end of camp they cut him, so they don't waste a roster spot on him.

    Everything I heard when he was on the Jets is that T-bo's hands aren't good enough to be a tight end. Layman's terms: Dude can't catch.

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  17. Tammy9:13 AM

    That Sexy Saviour picture was manipulated by GQ...not photoshopped, but the original pic was NOT him standing in that pose in from of the stadium. They did it to mock his beliefs.

    I think this was done to get under the Jet's skin and I think it's hysterical. I wish him well, and hopefully he will improve some. He is not all that great of a QB to say the least.

    ReplyDelete
  18. crila169:18 AM

    YAY!!!! Two hotties to watch on my team. This is a dream. So excited!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Unknown10:04 AM

    everyone in florida knows that urban meyer has a hard on for tebow. i'm surprised he's at ohio state and not just following him around the country since he keeps going from team to team.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oopsy_Daisy10:05 AM

    Tebow is legit. I graduated with him and he's about the nicest, most humble guy ever.

    ReplyDelete
  21. califblondy10:34 AM

    I'm not a fan of his, but I'm glad someone signed him. He made some great plays for Denver and I know he's inconsistent and maybe took the Tebowing too far, but if that's the worst to be said about the guy, it's not like many others who have done a helluva lot worse.

    I'm a Raider fan btw, so go ahead and hate I'm used to it.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous11:17 AM

    I don't think it's so much that Tim took the Tebowing too far, but that the media did. Many many players have gone on one knee after a good play, he wasn't the first.

    I don't get all the hate for him. He's a nice guy, a truly nice person. I'm not a religious freak myself, but respect his beliefs. He's a good leader and an upright person. Why do we make fun of this, instead of cringing over the rapists, druggies and murderers who are still playing?

    When he's been playing, he's picked out some person less fortunate than him...cancer victims, disabled children, etc., and for each game would bring that person's entire family to the game, pay for their hotel, airfare and food, go out to dinner with them, and bring them into the locker room to meet all the players. There's no media hype over that, but it shows what kind of person Tebow is.

    ReplyDelete
  23. 8====D KermitGossnellKnobjob11:50 AM

    Tim got a Tebowjob. He seems a nice dude. I hope he does a great season, and the others.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Silkprint12:07 PM

    Love my Patriots and my Brady $* sigh , I wish *
    Anyway hope they can do something with Tebow ..if they can;t here then noone will be able to .

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous12:31 PM

    I don't have a problem with Tebow, but his fanbase is too much to handle. But I wouldn't worry about them in New England. Belichick shut that down pretty quick today.

    I also think Tim's family is really pushing him as this next big thing in the Christian community. By most accounts, Tim is sincere in his beliefs. But his brothers who handle his PR? Not so much.

    It's obvious Belichick is doing this as a favor for Tim's old college coach Urban Meyer. They've been friends for years.

    The two-year contract may be so if Tebow makes it that long, he'll have 5 years vested in the NFL, which entitles him to retirement benefits and some health benefits.

    ReplyDelete
  26. hairydawg12:50 PM

    Everyone saying Tebow is a shit quarterback, how many snaps have you taken in your life? His first year STARTING in Denver he took the team into the second round of the playoffs. he got cut because Elway didn't like him. The Jets had no logical reason for picking him up. Other ppls fuck ups lowered his stock.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Jason Blue Eyes2:20 PM

    Reminds me of this great Sports Night moment.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Count Jerkula2:26 PM

    I heard a good theory on the Mike Fatcesa radio show: Pats signed T-Bo as a favor to Meyer and McDaniels, with the hope T-Bo chatter will distract from the mess that the team is. Gronk hurt, Welker gone, defense on year 8 of the rebuilding process.

    Only thing the Pats got going for themselves is they play in the same division as the Jets, Dolphins and Bills.

    ReplyDelete
  29. PookieTwo2:59 PM

    Rex Ryan is the coach with the thing for feet, not Belichick.

    As far as Belichick's personal life and antics, he's no better/worse than many in the NFL. Probably tamer, and a lot quieter certainly.

    @Count you're joking about the Pats being a "mess"? That's a fine mess to be in, many would trade places: making the playoffs past 9 out of 12 sesaons and Brady still in fine form. Gronk is on the mend and the defense better than its been in a while.

    @LaynaDay may be onto something, about the 2 yr contract for the benes. This very well may be a favor for Meyer & McDaniels, who's touted up in New England as next-in-line for Belichick's job in a few years.

    ReplyDelete
  30. kj6:38 PM

    @count: i thought you were just a perv and virtually ignored your posts. but now i know that although you may be a perv, you also are a nfl fan. how do you know about bellichek? the mini hoodie was our mistake. i think that tebow might stick. brady is getting old and tebow isnt his number 2 by any means, but hoodie may need someone for gronk

    ReplyDelete
  31. Count Jerkula7:29 PM

    @Pookie: you know damn well Beli would rather feign annoyance at T-bo questions than have to field questions about how he's planning to replace Welker's production with the china doll that is Danny Amendola. How did Beli's attempt to minimize Wes' role in the offense go last year? Lasted 2 losses to start the year I think (fact check me if you want, I could be wrong on the record).

    Whoremonger Gronk hasn't been healthy in the playoffs in 2 years. With him as Mr Bunchden's top weapon now, his health and partying is a huge concern.

    And as I said before, Pats have benefitted from a weak division for a while, that is the reason for all those playoff appearances. How many home playoff losses have they had during that time? Like got a bye, and lost their first game? If they played in the AFC North or the NFC East, they wouldn't have near the amount of playoff appearances as this past decade.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Count Jerkula7:40 PM

    @kj: Since I canceled my Sirius acct when the Stern Show went to shit, I am listening to sports talk radio 90% of the time while working and driving. I consider myself fairly knowledgeable, but certainly not infallible.

    As I stated earlier, they say T-Bo got lousy hands. Like the Steelers CB Ike "Hands of Stone: Taylor hands. Brady wouldn't throw a ball to Chad Johnson, cause dude to stoopid to know what route to run. How many times is he gonna bounce a 1st down off T-Bo's hands before the bible thumper is planted at the end of the bench? I'll set the over/under # at 1.5.

    Full Disclosure: I'm a Jets fan, and I agree with anything bad anyone has to say about the team.

    Woody Johnson is just as bad at owning an NFL franchise as he was raising children.

    ReplyDelete
  33. PookieTwo8:40 PM

    @Count: I will grant you Welker's departure was poorly handled and a f-up w/potentially neg consequences. Amendola will have to prove he's a proper replacement; but then again they (the Pats) put so much faith in Brady you figure they feel they could put a Dunkin Donuts cashier on field in the slot and he'd still catch 90+ passes as long as TB is throwing them....you are correct about the length of Welker's "benching" last season.

    AFC East is weak for sure, but it doesn't explain away 5 Super Bowls in a dozen yrs, with 3 wins, all under Belichick. 7 times in the conference playoff during same period.

    A Jets fan eh? I pray for you my friend :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Count Jerkula8:49 PM

    Videotaping opponents practices and the Rams walk through, along with stealing defensive signals explains the rings. It aint coincidence that after making STELLAR half time adjustments in the 3 Super Bowl wins, that they had nothing against the Giants twice. There is a reason Goodell had those tapes destroyed, instead of releasing them to the press. They were very damning.

    Don't feel bad for me as a Jets fan, I did it to myself. I coulda rooted for the Giants like my old man. In his memory, I wear one of his Giants t-shirts for every Giants playoff game.

    Plus, I'm a Yankee fan. You can hate on me for that.

    ReplyDelete
  35. kj9:02 PM

    @count. never was a stern fan but listen to sports talk commuting. i agree with hands of stone for tebow but i am shocked that bellichek signed him. knowing bellichek, he is hiding something and that is why they have gotten tebow. and yes he is a cheater and i love to see them lose. and i agree that johnson is a nightmare. at least pat bowlen knows his limitations and has turned the team over to elway and trusts him to make good decisions. mini hoodie pulled the same crap in denver and got caught. that was it for him

    ReplyDelete
  36. kj9:08 PM

    and for the tim haters, he is a nice guy. and no one, and i mean no one, will outwork him. ever. i hope he sticks and then sticks it to the jets who just did him wrong

    ReplyDelete
  37. PookieTwo9:42 PM

    Ah yes the tapes...it always comes back to the tapes (sigh).

    Still doesn’t explain divisional appearances every year since that incident inc a Super Bowl and 3 conference championships.

    ReplyDelete

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