When Bollywood actress Jiah Khan committed suicide last week, no one really knew the reason why. Some of her friends said she had been depressed, but that she was also doing well in her career, and would not elaborate. Well, police in India have released her suicide note. In it, she says she was killing herself because her ex-boyfriend cheated on her and abused her and forced her to have an abortion. Yesterday, police arrested the ex-boyfriend and charged him with abetting suicide. When I read that charge I think of someone actually helping someone commit suicide like you saw with Dr. Death. I don't really think of it in the sense the Indian police think about it, because although the note came from Jiah, were there any other factors that led her to commit suicide? Was her ex the only reason? It just seems like a very tough charge to prove.
Suicide in India is perceived differently in their culture. Im not saying its right or wrong to jail him, but he probably will be found guilty. Her family's agony plus the abortion accusation will be enough...
ReplyDeleteShe was young & famous and they have a 'surplus' of men anyway. If they can arrest him for it, they will probably convict him. That would be my bet.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't think anyone here knows India law enough to say whether he will really STAY arrested, or really go to court or jail for this? I wonder how trumped up it is b/c she was famous.
You can't really 'blame' another person for suicide. Lots of abused women don't do it, and some abusers kill themselves (I knew one). Suicidal ideation or tendencies are usually WAITING for a reason, if YKWIM. I do know something about this, please don't flame me all.
RIP to this lady.
In Indian culture, both culturally and spiritually, it would be unlikely she had a surplus of men. Young and famous in India does not equal the white trash that America and western culture spew out under the label of "young and famous". Image and purity are utmost in Bollywood. Just watch a few of their films.
DeleteNot such a bad idea. He seems to have been without conscience in his treatment of her. Jailing him could prevent others from the same inhuman treatment. He obviously doesn't think he should be responsible for his own reproductive health. Who needs that in any society?
ReplyDeleteHey, abortion is not that important.
ReplyDeleteRemember that, when females do it, it's like they had a tumor removed, as they say. He didn't want to pay alimony to her, so he enjoyed the law that makes abortion free and available and obliged her.
All the other things (cheatings and abuse) are detestable, but forcing abortion is only what you get allowing things like that.
This doesnt make sense methinks? Translation?or just insensitive?weird
DeleteHahaha!!! You're funny, Kermie!
DeleteAbortions can be forced even when illegal... making them illegal doesn't suddenly turned dickheads into saints. You seem a little misguided there, froggy.
DeleteAs a woman of means, I am not sure that short of strapping her down and making her get an abortion, how he could "force" this on a person who is capable of supporting the child was of sound mind. Seems to be much more behind her suicide, she could not have been mentally stable to begin with.
ReplyDeleteIf she was being abused by him as the note indicates then yes, she could have felt forced to have the abortion. I know of someone whose husband told her that if she did not abort their baby that he would leave her. She was terrified of losing him and her home did what he required. From where I stand that stinks of abuse.
DeleteSome guy was just sued in (wait for it) Florida by his ex for "forcing" her to have an abortion bygiving her Misoprostol under the guise of giving her antibiotics. So, yes, an abortion can be "forced" even when it doesn't conform to the traditional definitions of what we view as force.
DeleteI beg of you, CDaN friends--Don't feed that....conversation.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Oops. My bad. i shoulda read down further
DeleteI would think a lawyer would realize that different countries have different laws and burdons of proof. Maybe today's Enty is not the one that is a lawyer.
ReplyDeleteTrying not to feed the conversation, Libby (and your points are all very valid and well-said, BTW). But I will say to Yo - if the girl WANTED an abortion, I've got no issue with that. If she was pressured and coerced into one, well, that's a whole different ball of wax as they say...
ReplyDeleteIs abortion even legal in India?
ReplyDeleteCrazyCatLady---Abortion is super-legal. They have been doing gender selection since getting ultrasound technology DECADES ago. It's a crisis. They have a HUGE surplus of men who will never marry. It's contributing to the rape culture---'Loser' guys in India have very little chance of ever getting married or having sex without paying.
ReplyDeleteThat dowry system will be upside-down in no time, and men will be paying for brides. Hopefully. (jmo)
(I should also have mentioned that abortion is also super-legal b/c of poverty and overpopulation awareness.)
ReplyDelete(And the 'crisis' I mentioned is the male surplus.)
Did Enty die and make Libby the boss?!
ReplyDeleteIs no one allowed to reply to commenters that Libby the pit boss does not approve of?
Revolt!!
I see what you did there @ a non a miss :)
ReplyDeleteis she wasn't famous, would she have been arrested?
ReplyDeleteHi a non miss. I ASKED the people I know here not to take any bait and ruin all our goodwill here. The particular stereotype of women, it was offensive and I want us all to be friends. Perhaps if you knew me better, you'd know that. We all have different opinions about this issue and yelling about it could really ruin rapport and our virtual friendships we've developed.
ReplyDeleteI've never seen you, miss....Do you lurk? Welcome, even if you disagree with wanting the convo to be civil here. Sorry I offended you, stranger.
Do not screw with the pit!!!! Kidding, but lib right- we not about being mean here, but try very hard to be inclusive. I too read article in Smithsonian about problem men in india and china for that matter have. Unless they have money or are flashy, ladies dont choose them. I hope that poor girl is rip-ing. Good journey, my friend.
ReplyDeleteAlso, india has had very bad stories about gang rape recently; perhaps they want to amend that by acting quickly and humanely.
Oh Libby I've been here for awhile and I intend to stay. We aren't strangers, we've talked before. I change up my name alot. Too many stalkers, you know.
ReplyDeleteSad. So popular and beautiful with everything to live for. May her family and those who loved her fond some peace eventually.
ReplyDeleteThis was a dick move on the boyfriend's part. He may have been a catalyst, but he's not responsible or the reason she killed herself. She was obviously a very unhappy and disturbed girl, prior to any of this. Maybe they should blame her parents. It usually begins at home in the family you grew up with.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter married a man from India. They lived there while she was pregnant, although they now live in USA for the present. It is illegal in India for doctors to disclose the sex of a fetus due to gender selection. Signs are posted stating this in doctor's offices and hospitals. While my son-in-law is a corporate executive, his obligation/duties to his parents and family are of utmost importance to him. His parents had an arranged (very unhappy)marriage, and that is what his father wanted for him. Luckily, his mother told him to follow his heart. His brother and sister did likewise. His father has since accepted my daughter and loves her and their granddaughter. I think if my son-in-law were not the eldest son and the source of their financial support in large part (no social security there, it is considered his obligation to them) he would not have acquiesced. Money talked. Threat of no more money meant father had to listen.
ReplyDeleteToo many men? What's the damn deal with having boy babies? Aren't there too many men in China because of gender selection? I know that isn't the point of this post, but the world doesn't need more men.
ReplyDeleteThis is a shame. It sounds like she loved the boyfriend, and didn't want to lose him, he cheated on her and apparently threatened to leave if she didn't have the abortion. I can argue that she had choices in all of this, but sometimes our emotions block our sound reasoning.
ReplyDeleteI am the child of a mother who committed suicide, I have thought long and hard about it, they may feel "driven" to do the final act, it is in fact the biggest "neener-neener" in the world. It's as much "You will miss me when I'm gone, see what you made me do" as it is "I can't take this anymore".
I hope she rests in peace.
Read "unnatural selection" by Mara Hvistendal it is a very good book about the perils of Gender selection full of facts and not Judgey
ReplyDeleteTrolls please do not diss Libby and please take your ill conceived thoughts and various vitrolic spewings and depart. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteTrolls....kill at will.
ReplyDeleteA bit like suggesting suicide by cop, JC.
DeleteThere seems to be an anti-male climate in India's legal system which started when the dowry law was put into place and reached a fever pitch a couple of years ago. Just look up 498-a ... There are so many 498-As filed and the husband has almost no rights to fight it.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's officially illegal to disclose the sex of a fetus in India, but unofficially there are all kinds of ways around it, and there's still a LOT of pressure on women to abort female fetuses, particularly from family members. The gender imbalance in India and China is bad and getting worse, and nothing seems to be being done about it--the big problem is still that women and girls are seen as liabilities; Indian families with daughters are expected to all but bankrupt themselves to provide their daughters with dowries, or risk their daughter having an "accident", whereas parents of son, on the other hand, feel as if their ship has come in precisely because they can shake down any prospective daughter-in-law(s)'s family/families. (Yes, I know, they've tightened up the laws to try to put a stop to "bride burning", but it's still far too common.)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, enough about all that, and RIP to the actress...
He didn't kill her, but his actions may have driven her to commit suicide, like those kids who bully others are held responsible to a certain extent for the deaths of their victims. But, ultimately, a person has to take responsibility for their own actions, she chose to take her own life. Her note seems vengeful, if she knew he'd be arrested and charged, by blaming him for her death.
ReplyDeleteI hope she found the peace she sought though.
It seems unjust to punish someone if someone else commits suicide and writes, "I blame So-and-So for this."
ReplyDelete