Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Worst April Fools Day Joke Ever - Lindsay Lohan Pregnant

If Lindsay Lohan wanted to shock the world or come up with the best/worst/most horrifically make you want to poke your eyes out/ prank in the world for April Fools Day, she came up with it. On her Twitter she made the following announcement. Its official. Pregnant. Yeah, I threw up in my mouth a little too. The thing is, Lindsay got it in right before midnight, so still technically April Fools Day on the west coast, Hawaii and Alaska. Therefore we can only assume that the woman who has spent the better part of her almost 27 years drunk and hooked on Adderall when not doing coke and other drugs while spending time with a wide variety of men and women paying for her time is not really pregnant and has chosen to just try and make the most awful joke in the history of April Fools Day jokes.

Posted by ent lawyer at 6:00 AM

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50 comments:

  1. greenmountaingal6:02 AM

    God help us.

    ReplyDelete
  2. VIPblonde6:02 AM

    Saw this last night when she tweeted it. In the off chance that it's true, she must go on Maury Povich to determine the paternity :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. libby6:04 AM

    She looks like she's frantically peeing on a PG test while she drives, in that photo.
    ...like those women who supposedly pee on shoplifted PG tests in the store aisle. In the AISLE.

    Supposedly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lc6:45 AM

      @Libby I didn't do it in an aisle, but a McDonalds bathroom!

      Delete
    2. Unknown8:08 AM

      In the aisle?!? @_@

      Delete
  4. MISCH6:08 AM

    And how many abortions has she had to date ? I think we'd all be shocked.

    ReplyDelete
  5. sifichick6:15 AM

    Better check that poor baby for a 666 when it comes out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown6:19 AM

    Do you think it might be true and that she got pregnant on purpose thinking it might keep her out of rehab?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown8:08 AM

      Nothing would surprise me anymore.

      Delete
  7. EmEyeKay6:23 AM

    She won't be needing that adderall in treatment, then...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Henriette6:30 AM

    I thought all her STDs had made her sterile?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Unknown6:40 AM

    It's too early for this fuckery

    ReplyDelete
  10. mynerva6:44 AM

    She's such a fucking conniving bitch. I wouldn't put it past her to get knocked up just to save her orange, drug addled ass from jail.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mynerva6:45 AM

      Plus she would get child support from her benefactor. Grrrr

      Delete
    2. Anna V. Xol7:59 AM

      Mistakes are expensive. As some perv will soo find out.

      Delete
  11. dia papaya6:48 AM

    This thread is already making me laugh! Do you think her poor baby would even be human? It would be Rosemary Baby all over again!

    ReplyDelete
  12. lc6:49 AM

    Well if this is true, then I would think there would be a better chance of a lockdown or whatever rehab...for the baby. It won't keep her from rehab, child protective services would probably keep tabs....hopefully.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Robert6:50 AM

    She really ought to be spayed before she gets a chance to reproduce.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Christopher Cruz6:53 AM

    God help us if one of her tricks knocks her up.

    ReplyDelete
  15. canadachick6:58 AM

    and somewhere Dina cackles at the thought of the $$ a babyspawnofthedevil will bring

    ReplyDelete
  16. erika6:59 AM

    don't confuse skeethy millionaires sticking twigs up all your orifices as official pregnancy tests darling...

    come on, you know humans and abnormal species can't propogate

    ReplyDelete
  17. jimmyPx7:22 AM

    C'mon now...Damien needs a mother too. -)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Nellie7:30 AM

    Seriously though. It would keep her in crack money for the next 18 years.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Agent**It7:31 AM

    jimyPx, good one:)

    ReplyDelete
  20. discoflux7:32 AM

    I just imagine a child coming out of her resembling the annoying orange.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sugar 7:33 AM

    Another freckled menace 2 society. I think its a joke tho.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sarah7:56 AM

    And everyone thought the Antichrist would come from Kanye and Kim.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anna V. Xol8:02 AM

    Several millionares just peed their pants.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Topper Madison8:07 AM

    Why would this be so hard to believe? Drunks and drug addicts don't make the smartest life decisions--especially when it comes to birth control.

    ReplyDelete
  25. ethorne8:13 AM

    Come on now, if Lohag wants a baby she'll just steal it like she does eveything else.

    ReplyDelete
  26. dia papaya8:22 AM

    @ethorne! You are the winner today!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ms Cool8:23 AM

    LOL @ discoflux

    ReplyDelete
  28. The Original CDAN Reader9:23 AM

    Fire crotch in every sense of the word.

    ReplyDelete
  29. auntliddy9:31 AM

    the very first thing I thought was, how could she possibly know who the father is? And hey, maybe this is her ploy to get out of rehab. not funny.

    ReplyDelete
  30. delete account9:33 AM

    What was it I said yesterday? The nastier the woman, the more fertile her womb? POINT MADE.

    ReplyDelete
  31. crila169:36 AM

    Lindsay's already 27 yrs old? Wow time flies.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sherry9:56 AM

    No Crila..Lindsays 27th B'day in July. She ahs more time to reach the 27 club.

    Gawd Fahbid any spawn from this creature or the other members of her family. And what happened to the one Michael created? You never hear about Kate and they son they had. Wonder why? You think he'd see the PR angle there too.

    ReplyDelete
  33. lazyday60310:09 AM

    Best case scenario her pregnancy goes the way John Hurt's pregnancy went in Alien. I don't want to be sitting down to dinner with her the the baby decides it's time to be born. Naomi Rapace got to reprise the birthing scene in Prometheus last year. That is the childbirth experience LL deserves.
    Congratulations! You are the proud parent of a bouncing baby alien

    ReplyDelete
  34. DrPsychodelic10:13 AM

    the best pranks are the ones that only make you laugh...good for her!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Izzie10:38 AM

    Pregnancy pranks are lame (and this is coming from someone who loves pranks). Like the ones people post on FB in November - I can't believe it, I'm expecting in 6 weeks! I didn't want to tell anyone but it's time to make it official, who would've thought at my age I'd be expecting! Yep, I'm expecting Christmas in about six weeks!

    Sure thing, Aunt Marcia.

    Lindsay's birthday is a week before mine. Le sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  36. kelgela211:34 AM

    I wonder if all the sperm from all the different guys pooled together to form a super sperm in her vagina and attacked her egg and she got pregnant. Wouldn't that mean that the baby has a million dads?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Jenn2:04 PM

    If that's the case, t'll be the hundred headed hydra of myth and legend.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Zeeky_Boogy_Doog4:19 PM

    Izzie, you reminded me of a worse one. The one where you'd use your initials or something to choose a number and candy off a list, then post "I'm ___ weeks and craving ____."

    Why would we post that? For breast cancer awareness, silly! The meme tells you not to say anything else, doesn't mention cancer in any way, but we're supposed to *know.* I had to smite a few folks for that one!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Zeeky_Boogy_Doog4:22 PM

    Hey guys, don't pee on anything in public! After the release of Kim K's sex tape, Kris Jenner probably copyrighted that act, and will sue for copyright infringement!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Erik4:46 PM

    Hopefully this is just a bad joke. Otherwise, that kid is gonna be so deformed...

    ReplyDelete
  41. NaughtyNurse4:50 PM

    I wouldn't put it past her to purposely get pregnant in a desperate attempt to try to avoid rehab/prison.

    ReplyDelete
  42. AuntJess4:50 PM

    So will it come out sucking in a Marlboro light and sipping in a redbull and vodka?

    ReplyDelete
  43. kerri1:16 AM

    Let's not forget that this bitch would never, ever announce this for free if it was true. She'd be shopping a cover like the pro that she is.

    ReplyDelete

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