The Cindy Brady Tribute Letter
"As a child, I was BLESSED to have another father figure in my life. He did not replace my own beloved, Norwegian version of Jed Clampett, nor would he have wanted to. He simply harmonized with all of my family values and brought his own heart to our table. This tempetuous actor who bottle fed puppies when he wasn’t quarreling with the heads of networks shaped my heart as much as my biological parents did. So I really can honestly say, 'My dad was gay.'"
"I can also say that being gay killed him. Because it was so taboo, he could never make peace with himself. He never allowed himself to have a genuine love. He was forever taunted by his own disdain for the natural inclinations that he was BORN WITH. Bob was a family man. Had he been allowed to form a relationship with another man, he would have been the best husband ever and might still be alive. But Bob could not be at peace with this because the people surrounding him shoved their own judgement down his throat and, sadly, he bought into it. He thought he was wrong."
"What works is love. What doesn’t work is judgement. If two people love each other enough to want their union consecrated by a mythological being -- they are undoubtedly insane, but LET THEM HAVE AT IT!!"
Bravo! That was really touching.
ReplyDeleteSort of reminds me of my dad's story. Sad when one feels they cannot be themself due to the judgement of others. I'm glad society is slowly coming around.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. That judgment towards any kind of relationship sets you up for failure.
ReplyDeleteAmazing, especially this: "What works is love. What doesn’t work is judgement."
ReplyDeleteThat is the bottom line in a nutshell.
I completely agree, phoenix. That was my favorite part, too. I will use that against the crazy conservatives in my family from now on. They think that they can get away with saying that they love the gay people in their life, they just hate the sin. They say that kind of stuff with a straight face and everything. Crazy.
ReplyDelete"What works is love. What doesn't work is judgement." Truer words were never spoken.
This is exactly the change I've seen with friends, just in the last 15 years...from self-loathing, buying into the hate, to now thinking they have hope, and possibility. And could really have a family & give their parents grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteI had many gay friends who settled for (dangerous) random hookups for so long. That time needs to be OVER.
My 15 year old niece is gay. She is a bridesmaid in my wedding, and has the same dreams as every girl does about getting married one day. Thank god I won't have to look her in the eye as I walk down the aisle, and think "this can't ever happen for you." I wish you could see how her face lights up when I talk about wedding stuff, and say that this will happen for you too.
ReplyDeleteSeachica, that literally got me teary eyed.
Deletesimple as dimples....if two folks love each other and God knows, true Love is hard to find, so 'nice work if you can get it' ba dump dump...let them be...how in the world can that hurt anybody?
ReplyDelete"How does that HURT you? like, HURT, hurt you?" dear Anti-gay folk?
I don't understand why Gay Marriage isn't legal. what in the world is the big deal? What do you care if two gay people love each other?? I understand for immigration/visa/greencard purposes people might try to scam the system, but otherwise? Is it because of the Bible saying it's wrong? Because I know we ALL follow the ten commandments every day, and follow all the other rules that the Bible tells us.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your Dad's suffering Puggle. I can't imagine living in the closet and what that must do to one's heart and soul.
ReplyDeletea very sweet letter. i loved the brady bunch as a kid.
ReplyDeleteOh how touching. The part that makes me so sad is "being gay killed him." :(
ReplyDeleteI have very conservative relatives. They are kind, loving people who would give you the shirts off of their backs if they saw you in need, but they have this saying that drives me utterly insane, because it is almost universally applied toward homosexuals only: love the sinner, hate the sin. Accept the person as a child of God, but don't accept that they're living in sin by committing adultery. No, don't let them get married so they won't be committing adultery because marriage is between a man and a woman. Yes, it is my concern because I don't want them to go to hell and they're teaching children that it's OK to be a sinner, and that's what is ruining our country.
When I point out that Newt F*ing Gingrich, who served his cancer-riddled wife with divorce papers to marry his mistress (that later divorced to marry the woman he was cheating on HER with) and had 84 ethics charges filed against him was running for presidential nominee in their party, they said he'd asked for forgiveness and was now a Christian. I told them that I love them very much but I hated their sin of hatred.
Bless her. What a loving tribute.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Cindy Brady. Nothing to add.
ReplyDeleteBut I do have something to add about the whole "the bible says it's wrong" thing. The bible was written by men. Men who were heavily influenced by their social and political surroundings at the time. Some of them, like Paul (the worst of the bunch IMHO), were self-loathing gay men (OH, YES, HE WAS). Oh, and if we're going to follow the bible to the letter then I think most of us are probably waaaaaay behind on our ritual animal sacrifices, don't you? Murder and violence and general disrespect because you (think you) read it in a book? Whatever.
I love reading the deluded comments of the gay loving crowd here.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, if stupid were a sandwich, you'd have golden arches above your heads.
Speaking of stupid, I guess Cindy Brady believes that dying of AIDS, as Robert Reed did, somehow means he died because he couldn't be married.
Or something. It is so stupid, it is incoherent.
Carry on.
Good for her...
ReplyDeleteAmen, Susan. I love her for her work with animals and I love her for this.
ReplyDeleteI had many gay friends who settled for (dangerous) random hookups for so long. That time needs to be OVER.
ReplyDeleteWhat you don't seem to understand is that is what gay men do. Even the NYT wrote about this - "Many Successful Gay Marriages Share an Open Secret"
Somebody's HUNGRY.
ReplyDeletePantry's closed. CDaN don't play that, homey.
@libby- <3
Delete:)
DeleteJay, if bigoted was a sandwich, you'd have an actual 12 inch footlong. Which is 11 1/2 inches bigger than your dick.
ReplyDeleteVery touching & well written.
ReplyDeleteHi @Dixie!
ReplyDeleteThis letter is wonderful, except I don't like the very last sentence.
@Em *waves*
DeleteI love her letter too -- even the last sentence. But people need to realize that being for gay marriage and being Christian don't necessarily have to be at odds. I consider myself a Christian and always will, regardless of what others think of me. I am also for love, whether it be heterosexual or homosexual or nonsexual. Love is what Jesus taught and what we should all live by, whether you believe in Jesus or not.
ReplyDelete@Cindy, I realized re-reading my comment that it might come across as anti-Christian and for that I apologize. I consider myself a Christian, go to church every Sunday and believe in God. I also believe that my Jesus said that the two greatest commandments were "Love the Lord and love your neighbor" - neither of which included the words "hate." You are right on!
DeleteHave a great day!
Touché Izzie!
ReplyDeleteWhatever you may believe in regards to our stupidity, you cannot argue with the fact that government doesn't need to regulate who we should be allowed to love.
And I loved this letter and proudly walk as a bisexual woman in solidarity with all my friends no matter what their God given sexual preference may be. Amen!
@Jay
ReplyDeleteSarah Palin, is that you? C'mon, fess up.
Don't feed the trolls! Treat them like a Kardashian - the less attention, the faster they'll go away.
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to have a different opinion, you have every right to share it because that's what makes the world go 'round. However, when you start hurling insults & calling people "stupid", you lose credibility. That article is ridiculous; it even points out that the same could be applied to heterosexual couples. See Exhibits: Almost every blind item on this site.
Yes - Sarah / Jay (Thanks Yabba) - thanks for that enlightening NYT article. Because we ALL KNOW that heterosexuals NEVER STRAY in marriage... You clearly don't get it - but just for fun, why don't you look at your husband/wife's internet history (if they don't erase it out of guilt on a daily basis) - most people hide their interests / secret needs. Perhaps gay couples were the first to be able to move on/past the true barriers that marriage has a tendency to cause because they weren't given a chance to be a part of the "legal" marital world.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jay. It's naive to think that MM or FF relationships are going to be identical to MF ones. Same sex relationships aren't the same as hetero ones. Calling someone a "bigot" doesn't change that.
ReplyDeleteHis story is a sad one. That show was a curse for him. May he rest in peace.
ReplyDelete"Because we ALL KNOW that heterosexuals NEVER STRAY in marriage..."
ReplyDeleteWay to miss the point. Degeneracy doesn't become magically okay because heterosexual people do it, too. Gay men accounted for the majority of new HIV infections in 2010, despite being about 2% of the population. But hey, straight people get AIDS too, so I guess we can't condemn promiscuity!
But hey, why think when you can just call someone names? That's so much more satisfying after all.
*I am SO tricked, because I have no idea that ONE DUMBASS can make as many fake accounts as he/she wishes, to seem more 'in agreement' with their other dumbass-'selves'.*
ReplyDeleteOut, damn dipshit, OUT I SAY!!!
I would ASSUME if you were smart, you would at least TRY and disguise the writing style of each pseudonym. smfh
I don't think ANYONE here said that infidelity, promiscuity or "degeneracy" WAS okay. Ever been around these parts when an article about January Jones/Liam H or Kristen Stewart/Rupert Sanders was posted? No one thinks that cheating is okay. That NYT article was a bit over the top and very bias.
ReplyDeletedaphnebk was sarcastically pointing that both gay and straight couples can have their issues with "promiscuity." People don't cheat or "ruin the institution of marriage" because they're gay, straight, or bi. They do it because they're human and human beings are flawed & can be selfish with poor impulse control. Again, ever read a blind item on this site?
That said, that article is fucking ridiculous. I can think of 4 homosexual couples that I personally know off the top of my head. Each have been in relationships for 20+ years and not one of them have ever turned to "degeneracy."
I'm pretty sure @Jay has never read an entire article from start to finish. Critical thinking also seems to be a problem here. What you say?? A trend piece in the New York Times!? Why THIS changes everything!!
DeleteNO Don't..I loves me an argument too but seriously we have to just ignore. I have sooooo many things I could say too but it's a waste of time. Let them have their opinion and we can talk amongst ourselves. We know who the regulars are.
ReplyDeleteHaving an open marriage, or promiscuity/cheating, is *hardly* limited to gay marriages. And hey, Jay -- if you insist on playing the stereotypes game -- why don't you consider gay marriages between women, which are stereotyped as completely sexless? That's hardly a promiscuous marriage, eh?
ReplyDeletePuh-leez. Not all gay male marriages are open. Not all straight marriages are made up of two people who don't cheat. Shouldn't we be celebrating when two people love each other and want to make that level of commitment -- no matter what their sexual preference is?
Who has two big thumbs up and thinks this awesome??? This girl right here! BTW- Bob was an Okie from Muskogee. He was a graduate of Muskogee Manual High School- not a joke. It was the tech HS back in the day.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful letter. Not to stir the pot, but would Mr Reed's untimely eve have changed if he was able to live openly as a gay man & marry whoever he chose? He partied in the flashy & fun 60's & 70's, as many others did. Would him being allowed to live & love as he wished would have prevented him from being diagnosed HIV positive? I'm guessing Reed's daughter & Florence Henderson are ok with this because I remember reading he was a very private person & those two were the only ones who were aware of his initial diagnosis & there when he passed.
ReplyDelete@Nothanksdarlin - I had tears when I was writing it. It really makes you think hard about marriage, what it stands for, and what a positive force it is in our society. I'm so glad everyone will be allowed to express their love in front of family and friends, and little boys and girls will not have those dreams withheld from them just because of who they like.
ReplyDeleteGood one, Katie!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could remember where I read this, but...You know the whole rant some homophobes launch into about how gay marriage would make their marriages "meaningless" or somehow cause them to be less valid? A very wise person pointed out once that what they really mean by that is that they wouldn't be able to lord it over other people in a "nyah, nyah, I can get married but you can't!" way, and that so much of their own identity is tied up in being able to look down on and sneer at other people because, of course, they're better somehow. IMNSHO, that kind of attitude really shows just how pathetic some people are--really, the big thing holding your marriage together is being real-life Mean Girls to other people? Gee, I could have sworn that marriage should be based on factors like love, respect, friendship, passion, commitment, shared interests, etc. etc. etc., and I'd like to think that, were I in a happy relationship, my sweetie and I would both want as many other people as possible to be happy as well. Whaddayaknow...I've apparently been wrong all these years; the true meaning of marriage is that it gives you a rationale for acting like an asshole. (sarcasm mode OFF)
ReplyDeleteReally, people who are that hung up on other people's happy love lives need to see about getting the broomstick out of their ass, prying the house off their sister, grabbing their cheapass ruby slippers, and getting the hell out of Oz...
Wow, I love her. What a mensch. Who knew Cindy was a truth-teller?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad her "dad" knew she loved him, but sorry his life was made miserable by intolerant, prejudiced people.
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ReplyDeleteRobinTMP: You win the internets today for me...Love you grrl.
ReplyDeleteBTW did you ever put out that recipe for that wonderful dessert you were talking about? I forgot to click the notice for follow up emails. Doing it now..Pullease?
Respect for Susan Olsen.
ReplyDelete@Robin the Mad Photographer, this article may be of interest to you: The Distress of the Privileged
I LOVE this. Truly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteRobin, awesome. Just want to write I am married & no-one else's marriage affects ours. There are so many long-term couples who would love to get married. One of my frustrations with Australia is we don't allow marriage between all consenting adults, regardless of their sexuality. This is not a 'gay' issue, this is a human rights issue. Anyone who has known true love would not wish to deny it to others.
ReplyDelete@Sherry: Sorry--I'd forgotten I promised to write this one up! Here you go...
ReplyDeleteNanaimo Bars (aka BJ Bars)
These are made in 3 layers:
1st layer:
1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
1/4 cup white sugar
1/3 cup cocoa powder
1 large egg, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups graham cracker crumbs (I like honey grahams)
1 cup dried coconut
1/2 cup chopped nuts (I like pecans; you can also use walnuts or almonds)
Melt butter in saucepan over low heat; remove from heat & stir in sugar and cocoa, then gradually whisk in egg. Return to low heat and cook, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens (1-2 minutes; the butter doesn’t always completely blend in w/the rest of the mixture, but it should still be OK). Remove from heat and stir in vanilla, graham cracker crumbs, coconut & nuts, blend well, and press mixture evenly into the bottom of a greased 9x9” square pan. (I mix the crumbs, coconut & nuts together before dumping it in; it seems to help things blend better.) Put in fridge for about an hour, and make the second layer.
2nd layer:
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) butter
2 cups confectioner’s sugar
2 tablespoons instant vanilla pudding mix (or Bird’s Custard Powder from the UK if you want to be truly authentic)
2-3 tablespoons milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Beat butter until smooth (ideally w/an electric mixer of some kind); stir sugar & pudding mix together and add to butter, a bit at a time, adding milk as needed. Add vanilla and beat until smooth; you want this thick, but not so thick you can’t spread it. Take pan with 1st layer out of fridge and spread this over it; put back in fridge for another 1/2 hour or so, and make the third layer.
3rd layer:
1 tablespoon butter
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (the original recipe says 4 oz. of semi-sweet chocolate, and 1 cup of chips = 6 oz., but I find chips melt more easily and are usually cheaper--besides, who’s going to object to more chocolate?)
Melt butter, then stir in chocolate and melt it as well. (I do this in the microwave; you can also put the bowl with the butter and chocolate over a saucepan of simmering water, or use an actual double boiler if you have one.) Spread evenly over 2nd layer and put the whole thing back in the fridge to set for 10 minutes or so. Use a very sharp knife to cut into individual bars, and keep in fridge (I use your standard plastic container) when they’re not being devoured.
Yield: depends on how big/small you cut your bars; I generally get 20 out of a pan this size.
(This particular treat comes from Canada; Nanaimo, B.C. to be exact, hence the name, which is pronounced “na-ni-mo”. You can apparently buy these in bakeries, supermarkets, and Tim Hortons all over Canada, but they’re not terribly well known in the States...at least not yet. ;-) The recipe is also known as BJ Bars thanks to a dear friend who, once she managed to stop swooning after taking her very first bite of one, burst out with “You know, I’d give blow jobs on Tremont Street to get more of these!” (Tremont St. being one of the major thoroughfares in downtown Boston). I reminded her that she knows me, and so that wouldn’t ever be necessary; I also gave her the recipe later on, so she should be all set. *grin* Personally, I don’t think any of my goodies are sufficiently amazing as to lure someone into the World’s Oldest Profession, but, like so many things, YMMV. At least you can’t say you weren’t warned…)
Bon appetit!
@Robin, do you live in Nanaimo? A friend of mine used Nanaimo in a couple of her books. She made it sound it wonderful and creepy at the same time.
ReplyDeleteRobin you rock..I am going to post this on the new site so others know exactly where to look..Cannot wait to try it and printing it now. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAwesome Sherry! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteRobin, please drop by the OT site and gift us with your amazing recipes....PLEASE!
The site is cdanot.blogspot.com
If anyone would like to be involved in the site and start their own topics, email me: msburritowhore A T gmail
Oh Good Lord
ReplyDelete1) Someone disagrees with majority of thread
2) Someone speaks for ALL and tells lone voice to fuck off
3) Multiple log-in Troll accusation activated
4) Recipe
It's like opposite day
Ooh, Robin, thanks! I've always wanted to try Nanaimo bars. I always think of Catherine O'Hara in A MIGHTY WIND when I think of them. ;-)
ReplyDeleteLate to the party, but WTG Cindy(Susan)! Beautifully said. I wish my state wasn't one of the ones to be ashamed of (and that the Morons, I mean Mormons, would keep their money and opinions in their own state.)
ReplyDelete"One of my frustrations with Australia is we don't allow marriage between all consenting adults, regardless of their sexuality. This is not a 'gay' issue, this is a human rights issue. Anyone who has known true love would not wish to deny it to others."
ReplyDeleteI'm so late on board here but I agree with this so much. It IS a human rights issue. Single people and gay couples can't adopt here either (in my state and several others). Our laws are ridiculous and do not reflect the diverse society the politicians are always bragging that we have. We have one of the largest gay pride parades in the world but consenting adults can't marry or adopt when they're financially and emotionally able. Something doesn't add up there.