In case you have not noticed, former Olympic gold medal swimmer, Ryan Lochte has a new show set to debut on E!. In an interview with The Hollywood reporter promoting the show, Ryan said that he wanted to be as famous as Kim Kardashian and that she is his role model for fame and success. Considering that Ryan is about as smart as a box of rocks and everything else that he has tried other than swimming has been a failure, this should be interesting to watch. Ryan says that he loves when people recognize him and that he hopes more people will recognize him and that someday that he can be at the same level of fame as Kim without actually having to film a sex tape. He also would like the money Kim earns too. Honestly, the guy sounds like the tooliest tool of tool town and all those things I have heard where he is having sex multiple times a day with multiple women would not surprise me after reading the interview.
That picture looks like he's trying reeeeeeallly hard to form a thought
ReplyDeleteVIP, yes!!!:)
DeleteHe's so stupid that I don't even dislike him. It would be like hating a rock.
ReplyDeleteWho do you think he'll get to pee on him in the sex tape?
@Karen, lol!! Hating a rock!!
DeleteIf he could get Phelps, I'd watch it. Oooh, it could be called "The Race to Gold". Synopsis: The Olympian with the most gold medals is giving the ultimate golden shower... Obviously I've thought way too long and hard about this.
DeleteSo, he's gonna make a pegging vid?
ReplyDeleteIs this douchetastic day or something?
I didn't think I could find a celebrity more repugnant and less interesting than Kim Kardashian.
ReplyDeleteConsidering how dumb he sounds as soon as he opens his mouth, he's well on his way to being the male Kim K. And yuck! Wouldn't touch this douche for any amount of money.
ReplyDeleteI'd touch him for a penny. He's sexy as fuck, I don't care how stupid he is. That body. That face.
DeleteI'd touch him for a penny. He's sexy as fuck, I don't care how stupid he is. That body. That face.
DeleteI guess he's planning on getting peed on on tape then.
ReplyDeleteTooliest Tool of Tooltown!
ReplyDeleteSquee!
@EmEyeKay: I totally read that in sing-song!
ReplyDeleteI'm still chuckling at hating a rock. Just can't do it, can ya? LOL
Reese! OMG! It's too early for pegging (at least my brain thinks so)
ReplyDeleteHe does have a mighty fine body! And those abs... well, dayum!!! A girl needs a little fun. I can ignore the dumbness for an hour or so.
I thought he looked constipated in this photo. I just scrolled up and chopped off his head. Abs and pects only today, people! Damn! Now I sound like I need my own room after all the romance talk from yesterday.
Wants to be like kim? Get pregnant and wear ugly clothes? Uh, ok.
ReplyDeleteIt would be so much better if he didn't talk. I could look at him all day - but when he opens his mouth - I really lose all interest and wish for someone to pee on him to shut him up...
ReplyDeleteHe is like her. They're both into water sports.
ReplyDelete@Mynerva - Ha! Good one.
DeleteCan douching be considered a water sport?
DeleteNEVER did I think we would find the male Jessica Simpson. I thought it wasn't possible to really be that dumb.
ReplyDeleteI would imagine life is easy when you're as stupid as he is.
ReplyDeleteUGH! Ryan, you are dead to me!
ReplyDeleteA Monty Python quote "His problem is that there is a small particle of brain embedded in his skull." At least it allows him to be up front about what he really wants!
ReplyDeleteGod, this dude is dumb.
ReplyDelete@Meanie, me too!
ReplyDeleteY'all are on fire today!! Thanks for the early morning giggles!
ReplyDeleteTra-la-la-la, the tooliest tool of tool town!
I knew I despised him as soon as I saw his interview where he showed his shoes that leave the footprint spelling out his name.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, this guy really IS dumber than a box of rocks. But here's my favorite quote:"Kim started from pretty much nothing, and now everyone everywhere knows who she is.... Today, she's huge."
ReplyDeleteIndeed.
no brains, no headaches...
ReplyDeleteIzzie, I sorta feel bad for him more than anything. It's hard to dislike an adult who has the mind of a ten year old.
ReplyDeleteGod, I pity the human race sometimes. Cuz if this mensa member is having sex multiple times a day with multiple women you know that some of them are going to get knocked up. What about this guy is attractive? Maybe he should just date Kim? When did super stupid become the norm????
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDamn my nails, iPhone, typos and auto correct!!
DeleteOf course he can be as famous as she is. Except that he'll have to out do her video so he best prepare himself for some serious ass-to-ass
Thank you La Descarda! I knew there would be ass2ass in this post!
DeletePuggle, I know plenty of 10 year olds that are smarter than this guy. But I don't hate him either. Although if he's going to model himself on Queen Heffa that might change.
ReplyDeleteLaughing my ass off at the "tooliest tool of tool town". That is comedy gold right there!
ReplyDeleteThe thing about Ryan is he's lucky stupid. What's lucky stupid you ask? That's where he doesn't realize just how dumb he is and all the teasing in the world will never hurt his feelings. He just won't get that he's the butt of the joke.
He wants to be a hooker ?
ReplyDeleteEh, he's so dumb it takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
ReplyDeleteWow. Good thing he's pretty. That will TOTALLY last and see him through the rest of his life!
ReplyDeleteHow can you say he's contributed nothing to the world except swimming?! Ill have you know we use his "Jeah!" Trademarked phrase allllll of the time in our house.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna watch his show just to see how much Gainesville has changed since I was there.
"I was America in the Olympics".
ReplyDeleteMaja, thats gold, lol
Deletetooliest tool of tool town, ha ha ha!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's all I can think of whenever I see this dingdong's name...*L*
ReplyDelete@Karen OMG I literally died laughing at your comment!
ReplyDeleteNO COMMENT. My mama taught me this; ''If you don't have anything nice to say, then shut it''
ReplyDeleteHe is a good swimmer, not one of the best, but he is not reality show material.
I have to physically remove myself from my keyboard now.....
The irony is he reminds me of Mr. Kris Jenner, the guy that used to be Bruce Jenner. I remember when Bruce tried to parlay his sports fame into other fame but he was so freaking boring that he flopped. And as for women, he dumped the woman that sacrificed everything to support his Olympic dreams... well, you all know the rest.
ReplyDeleteTooliest tool of tool town .... Yes
ReplyDeleteI would be willing to try to f' the stupid out of him. Purely on a scientific basis, of course.
ReplyDeleteI feel like his stomach is trying to speak to me.
ReplyDeleteI went to school with one of his exes. She was a couple grades ahead of me so I didn't know her well and it was years after she graduated.
Not for nothing did Lochte play a "Sex Idiot" on 30 Rock. One might think he was in on that joke, but apparently one would be wrong.
ReplyDeleteWhat a moron. Kardashian is your role model? I suppose she's a worthy model if all you want is money and constant vilification from intelligent people with taste.
Go for it, Ryan!
People can help ignorant, they can't help stupid. We are all born with different capabilities.
ReplyDeleteHe has pretty eyes, and wonderful shoulders, nice upper abs.
ReplyDeleteHe is interesting to watch when interviewed because he is just totally blissfully ignorant!
He will have a good time, maybe a nice life, maybe even keep some of the money he makes. He will never, ever realize that people are laughing at him not with him.
I kind of feel sorry for him, and kind of envy his "what me worry?"
version of a life.
I must be officially old. I have no desire to hit it. This tool's Jeah crap & narcissistic shoes really got to me. But it was the wearing of that damn jewel-encrusted grill on the podium that pissed me off.
ReplyDeleteI remember when going to the Olympics was an honor. Now, it's not only about excelling at your sport, it's about how much bling-bling you can bring to the table & really make your personality shine. Blech.
I thought competing against elite athletes from all over the world & hopefully winning a gold medal for your Country was what the Olympics were about.
I. Am. Officially. Old. And. Cranky.
Ha, was coming to say the same thing, Maja. :)
ReplyDeleteI really don't know much about this kid other than what I read here, but safe to say Seth MacFarlane nailed that impression. "I give it six swims."