After first joking about it, Martha Stewart has agreed to join match.com. She says that she really wants to find someone to sleep with and have breakfast with, but has no desire to get married again. Well, hello Martha. 71 years old and ready to get her groove on. I guess 70 is the new 60 which oh, I don't know, this game can go on forever. I can see her headline now. Former Convict Seeks Man For Craft Projects. No, I am sure it would be much more subtle. It's A Good Thing. That one would work well. She was told to use an alias so people would get to know the real Martha. I wonder if she would have time for it or if her assistants would do it all for her. What would she use for a photo? They didn't talk about that one I don't think.
Really? Did she list her Occupation as: Tyrannical Bitch? It would be fun to come up with Parody Profiles and exchange the links w/ each other.
ReplyDelete71 YRS old and still man trolling. I've had my laugh for the day!
ReplyDeleteGood for her! Everyone needs love!
ReplyDeleteMatch.com? More like sugarmommas.org
ReplyDeleteGoogle it, I dare ya!
I bet she makes her own lube that crafty bitch.
ReplyDelete@ethorne- I like to think she secretly has one of these in her house.
DeleteHoly shit Lotta! $1200? You're probably right though, Martha looks like a bulk buyer.
DeleteI'm the least domestic person around but I still think Martha is quite badass.
ReplyDeleteHomegirl does NOT look 71. Good on her. Get it. She's going to be stuffing some sausage alright.
ReplyDelete@Count Jerkula - If you like Brandi from "Storage Wars", then Martha should be your type, only older and richer. Go git it!
ReplyDelete+1
DeleteShe didn't join. She almost joined.
ReplyDelete@MadLyb: Brandi seems sweet, only bitchy cause she is with such a tool. I've read/heard too many stories of how Martha treats people. Of course looks wise she aint bad for her age.
ReplyDelete@ethorne: LOL!!!!!!
@Lotta: I bet she dips this in the barrel before happy time starts. http://www.amazon.com/Doc-Johnson-The-Fist-Dildo/dp/B001ZRUUGQ
@Count- ouch!!
DeleteTyrannical Bitch should be my goal for today.
ReplyDeleteI see it more as a lifetime calling. You have to build toward it, then maintain it carefully over your lifetime.
DeleteAlso, I want some MAC & CHEESE NOW!
I hope she has had the vag rebuilt like Brandi.
ReplyDeleteEveryone needs a good 'release' every now and then. Even 71 year old women. Good for Martha. Let her be great, LOL!
ReplyDeleteShould we take up a collection to buy her a membership on AdultFriendFinder?
ReplyDeleteShe could do an episode on special tips for finding that special friend. I would totally watch.
DeleteI've always like Martha.
ReplyDelete;^)
I hope she finds someone. I have a good friend who was in a long term relationship and neither of them wanted to get married--both were divorced with their own kids and own lives. They moved into 2 adjoining condos--and put a door between their bedrooms--so they could sleep together ....then go home to their own place. They were together for many years. I thought it was a great idea.
ReplyDeleteThat is my dream set up. Oh and the seven slave boys to do my every bidding. Working on the fundage for that though I hear there are subs who will PAY to serve you if you do it right for them. Wish I had the energy to manage all this... sigh.
DeleteMartha still looks great, and has one of the most lovely laughs I've ever heard. A man could do worse and if they're just friends with benefits he could escape much of her wrath.
ReplyDeleteHey, what happened to Anders, the Swiss male prostitute Martha recommended to Jack Donaghy for Liz Lemon?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, this is purely a stunt paid for by Match.com. Martha has long been known to be "resourceful" about finding male company. Kinda like Madonna or Jennifer Lopez, but with much more taste and discretion.
I would have thought Martha would go for a more selective dating service than Match.com. I'm sure Patti Stanger will be trying to woo her to come on her show. And Martha looks awesome.
ReplyDelete