Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Martha Stewart Joins Match.com

After first joking about it, Martha Stewart has agreed to join match.com. She says that she really wants to find someone to sleep with and have breakfast with, but has no desire to get married again. Well, hello Martha. 71 years old and ready to get her groove on. I guess 70 is the new 60 which oh, I don't know, this game can go on forever. I can see her headline now. Former Convict Seeks Man For Craft Projects. No, I am sure it would be much more subtle. It's A Good Thing. That one would work well. She was told to use an alias so people would get to know the real Martha. I wonder if she would have time for it or if her assistants would do it all for her. What would she use for a photo? They didn't talk about that one I don't think.

Posted by ent lawyer at 7:30 AM

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26 comments:

  1. Count Jerkula7:32 AM

    Really? Did she list her Occupation as: Tyrannical Bitch? It would be fun to come up with Parody Profiles and exchange the links w/ each other.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pogue Mahone7:33 AM

    71 YRS old and still man trolling. I've had my laugh for the day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown7:38 AM

    Good for her! Everyone needs love!

    ReplyDelete
  4. LottaColada7:40 AM

    Match.com? More like sugarmommas.org

    Google it, I dare ya!

    ReplyDelete
  5. ethorne7:41 AM

    I bet she makes her own lube that crafty bitch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LottaColada7:47 AM

      @ethorne- I like to think she secretly has one of these in her house.

      Delete
    2. ethorne7:53 AM

      Holy shit Lotta! $1200? You're probably right though, Martha looks like a bulk buyer.

      Delete
  6. DewieTheBear7:42 AM

    I'm the least domestic person around but I still think Martha is quite badass.

    ReplyDelete
  7. La Descarada7:42 AM

    Homegirl does NOT look 71. Good on her. Get it. She's going to be stuffing some sausage alright.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MadLyb7:46 AM

    @Count Jerkula - If you like Brandi from "Storage Wars", then Martha should be your type, only older and richer. Go git it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. whocaresnow128:08 AM

    She didn't join. She almost joined.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Count Jerkula8:11 AM

    @MadLyb: Brandi seems sweet, only bitchy cause she is with such a tool. I've read/heard too many stories of how Martha treats people. Of course looks wise she aint bad for her age.

    @ethorne: LOL!!!!!!

    @Lotta: I bet she dips this in the barrel before happy time starts. http://www.amazon.com/Doc-Johnson-The-Fist-Dildo/dp/B001ZRUUGQ

    ReplyDelete
  11. __-__=__8:19 AM

    Tyrannical Bitch should be my goal for today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gayeld8:56 AM

      I see it more as a lifetime calling. You have to build toward it, then maintain it carefully over your lifetime.


      Also, I want some MAC & CHEESE NOW!

      Delete
  12. Unknown8:23 AM

    I hope she has had the vag rebuilt like Brandi.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous9:11 AM

    Everyone needs a good 'release' every now and then. Even 71 year old women. Good for Martha. Let her be great, LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  14. D Brown9:22 AM

    Should we take up a collection to buy her a membership on AdultFriendFinder?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SophiaB11:24 AM

      She could do an episode on special tips for finding that special friend. I would totally watch.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous10:09 AM

    I've always like Martha.

    ;^)

    ReplyDelete
  16. car5410:56 AM

    I hope she finds someone. I have a good friend who was in a long term relationship and neither of them wanted to get married--both were divorced with their own kids and own lives. They moved into 2 adjoining condos--and put a door between their bedrooms--so they could sleep together ....then go home to their own place. They were together for many years. I thought it was a great idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SophiaB11:27 AM

      That is my dream set up. Oh and the seven slave boys to do my every bidding. Working on the fundage for that though I hear there are subs who will PAY to serve you if you do it right for them. Wish I had the energy to manage all this... sigh.

      Delete
  17. Del Riser10:58 AM

    Martha still looks great, and has one of the most lovely laughs I've ever heard. A man could do worse and if they're just friends with benefits he could escape much of her wrath.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sandy11:13 AM

    Hey, what happened to Anders, the Swiss male prostitute Martha recommended to Jack Donaghy for Liz Lemon?

    Seriously, though, this is purely a stunt paid for by Match.com. Martha has long been known to be "resourceful" about finding male company. Kinda like Madonna or Jennifer Lopez, but with much more taste and discretion.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lelaina Pierce6:18 PM

    I would have thought Martha would go for a more selective dating service than Match.com. I'm sure Patti Stanger will be trying to woo her to come on her show. And Martha looks awesome.

    ReplyDelete

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