This former Tween actress and now just a very rich celebrity has been so freaked out about an upcoming possible marriage to her boyfriend that she has started taking almost a box of laxatives a day to control her already tiny weight. Not a Disney or Nick star.
One of those Olsen creatures?
ReplyDeleteI finally got one. If this isn't Mary Kate I'll eat my hat!
ReplyDeleteThis should have been labeled "EASY EASY EASY"!
Are laxative addicts more likely to enjoy buttseks? I may have to rethink my CraigsList ads.......
ReplyDeleteYup, Olsen. A box of laxative a day sounds crazy.
ReplyDeleteI would have thought the Olsens were already downing a box of Correctol a day.I can't stand Tween or reality blinds.
ReplyDeleteSame here. I dont care about the Tweeners most of them are nothing but spoiled brats and the reality "stars" are a waste of space IMHO.
DeleteCan one ever leave the house when they take a box a day? It sounds very uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing. Doesn't it kill your social life if you run every 10 minutes to the bathroom?
DeleteBut were any of the Olsens ever "tween" actresses? They were babies/little girls on Full House and then kind of transitioned into celebhood instead of acting, IIRC. (I could be wrong, I just don't remember them doing anything after Full House until their fashion line came out.)
ReplyDeleteWhoever it is, I feel bad for them. Laxative abuse is HELL on your body. It will f* up your system in ways that can be irreparable if not stopped in time. Not worth it at all.
Their huge fame in videos and product lines came around 11-13. They were the early version of Hillary Duff/Miley Cyrus.
Delete@Izzie, their huge fame came as tweens (books, clothing line, etc)
ReplyDeleteAh, thanks, @K. If I'd taken the time to google before frothing at the mouth, I'd have known that! :b Their tween years were my college/post-college years, so they were completely off my radar.
DeleteOh Count..Where would we be without you? LOL!
ReplyDeleteWow a whole BOX? I think someone might be a little exaggeratin' on this one.
Probably not. I hate to admit this, but if you take them several times a week, you will need a box just to have an effect. I used to take them daily, and I think the most I ever took was 60 (2 boxes), but I also took magnesium citrate soda and I have crohns on top of that (yeah, I was a dumbass) which makes you more prone to, um, excessive discharge. I do not enjoy the buttseks, but my friends all knew about my issue, and one time my friend's husband propositioned me with "you know what really makes you have the shits? Having anal with me." EWWWWW.
DeleteIzzie, that's what I thought too. I'd never consider them ex Tween. Also I thought Enty loved them and BritBtit. Am I a crazy person? I thought they were on the list of people that he didn't speak ill of?
ReplyDeleteAnybody else remember that?
Miley. Laxatives, whiskey and cocaine
ReplyDeleteIt says not a Disney or Nick star.
DeleteI never understood addiction to laxatives. All that constant butt wiping wouldnt cause a rash or at least soreness. How about having sexytimes after dropping a load? Please explain!
ReplyDeleteIzzie and @K, they also made a TON of videos that were produced by their own production company.
ReplyDelete@Count Jerkula Every day I like you more and more. I think laxative addicts like things coming out not going in. But hey, what ever floats my boat... Eh, I mean their boat. ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhich Olsen is engaged? I must have missed the announcement.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha @borgqueen. That's gotta be true. But i doubt there using the run o d mill bog roll us mere mortals use. Theres prob a Gucci toilet roll at $500 a roll that make each wipe feel like ur ass is getting licked by kittens..@messy station, thank you for sharing so hilariously lol
ReplyDelete@MessyStation: I never considered the possibility of increasing tolerance to laxatives. Ever snort em? My friends that do mass quantities of cheap blow (cut with laxatives) will have frequent explosive toilet sessions.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky, a greasy sausage egg and cheese from the deli for breakfast will have me all cleaned out in an hour.
That line from the friends' hubby reminds me of Bad Santa, "I didn't shit right for a week!"
@ItsJustU: Well, if they only enjoy 50% of the buttseks in/out then half the battle has already been won. Hopefully superior technique will take care of the rest.
@Count Jerkula It is all about technique. After a box of laxatives you gotta be careful. Unless the nastier the better is your thing of course.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe a whole box because even just a handful (six or so) cause unbelievable, debilitating pain, especially on a near-empty stomach.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's what's-her-name Olsen but I have no snark for it.
@Dewie, I think if you abuse them, over time you need to use more and more, so they will actually work.
DeleteKelgela2: Neither of the girls are officially engaged but Mary Kate is rumored to be. Her potential fiance is Olivier Sarkozy, the half brother ofthe former French president. He's 17 yrs older than her (nearly 27 to nearly 44) divorced with two kids and a millionaire investment banker. They've been going out for almost a year. Funny enough, usually Ashley was the one dating older guys while Mary Kate dated guys her age but its currently reversed.
ReplyDelete@ANNIEOSCAR: "There's prob a Gucci toilet roll at $500 a roll that make each wipe feel like ur ass is getting licked by kittens.."
ReplyDeleteBWHAHAHA!!!
(Really, though, it's a beautiful simile, but cats have rather scratchy tongues...then again, that's only making me laugh harder! *cough**wheeze* Where's my damn inhaler?...)
What former tween is engaged and loaded? I don't think either of the Olsens are engaged.
ReplyDeleteUgh, who likes to poop? Or puke?? I just dont get it.
ReplyDelete@count jerkula. I think Laxies increase the risk of sharting during anal, so unless you like it dirty like John Mayer, or have lots of clean sheets
ReplyDelete@count jerkula. I think Laxies increase the risk of sharting during anal, so unless you like it dirty like John Mayer, or have lots of clean sheets
ReplyDeleteMelissa Gilbert. Haha!
ReplyDeleteOlsen twins are not Disney or Nick. They're ABC i'm pretty sure. It's totally Mary-Kate
ReplyDeleteIt's very common for people with eating disorders to get hooked on laxatives. It's easy to see why. It cleans out your system and you lose more weight. And yes, the more you take the more your body needs to get the desired result. And if you stop cold turkey it can be very dangerous. You have to wean your body. At least one Olsen had anorexia.
ReplyDeleteWhy would she feel like she had to marry the guy if she's a billionaire?
I have a friend who abused laxatives for YEARS - when she finally checked herself into a clinic for anorexia treatment, she claims she was taking up 80-100 laxatives a day because her body had build up so much of a tolerance to them. She used to drive around to a bunch of different stores to buy them to hide it. I had no idea until she started a blog about her recovery and confessed it as a part of taking her life back, owning up to her problems, etc.
ReplyDeleteThe Olsen twins were HUGE when my niece was around 7-9 or so, and I think they were around 11 yrs old or something. I've seen an ungodly number of their movies! I'd almost say they were the original 'tween' stars, IMO. WAY bigger than Britney at that age. Clothes, school supplies, makeup, jewelry, movies, dolls, you name it. Ridiculous marketing machine!
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother had colon cancer and my mom always suspected it was her laxative usage that caused it. She believed if you didn't have your daily poop, you were constipated.
ReplyDeleteMary Kate don't marry him....run
ReplyDeleteGreat, CountJ - now I have Trainspotting in my head.
ReplyDeleteat what point does abuse of laxatives totally impair the function of your bowels I wonder so that nothing works or you have chronic runs, yikes.
ReplyDeleteKate Bosworth, engaged to be married to Michael Polish. Started as a teen on the Horse Whisperer.
ReplyDeleteCheck out her latest pics on DM to see how skinny she is. Her knees are bigger than her upperlegs.
Ah, ill just post the link myself:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2300475/Kate-Bosworth-shows-VERY-slim-figure-denim-pinafore-dress-stocks-groceries-fianc-Michael-Polish.html
Ultra skinny Bosworth.
Don't know how to make it clicky :(
Puggle, oh I have no doubt. But the searing pains they give one are very disabling (know from years of experience). I never go to more than a half-box a day because of it. (Also, the size of the box can be as little as twelve.)
ReplyDelete@CraftyGirl - I have colon cancer and never took a laxative in my life UNTIL I was diagnosed with it. Now I have to take them sometimes to prevent blockages, since the tumor blocks part of my colon.
ReplyDeleteAs for my guess, I thought the Olsen twin dating the French guy immediately, but @Shit You Can't Buy brings an intriguing guess to the table, as Kate Bosworth definitely has been getting skinnier.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit Kate is the new skeletor. How would that ever look good in any dress, especially a wedding dress? Bitch needs some serious help.
ReplyDeleteLaxative addiction??? I can't even imagine USING a laxative, much less using every day.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who is routinely given friggin' morphine for IBS, taking a laxative is as crazy as believing the microwave oven wants me to blow up the world.
Kate Bosworth is a cokehead, that's why she has been skinny for years
ReplyDeleteKate Bosworth is a cokehead, that's why she has been skinny for years
ReplyDeleteI had to drink that Colyte stuff before surgery once. OMG! It works like Drano, I thought I was going to pull an Elvis and die on the toilet. I can't imagine taking that many laxatives. Ugh.
ReplyDelete@rexruther Awesome job! Just bookmarked it. :-)
ReplyDelete