It was about a year or so ago that Madonna's brother, Anthony Ciccone told the world that he was homeless and living under a bridge in Michigan. He had been let go from the family winery because of his alcoholism and that he was no longer getting any assistance from his family. Now he is back and says that things are even worse for him. In an interview with The Daily Mail, Anthony says that Madonna doesn't care whether he lives or dies and that neither of them ever loved the other. Family friends say that Madonna and her father would be happy to help Anthony and have sent him to rehab multiple times in the past but that he does not believe he has any kind of problem. Anthony's words seem to indicate this. "I’m a human being, you can call me what you want. [Alcoholic] is a label, I don’t like it. I don’t need brain surgery, I merely need love and care of family and friends. [I got] no family back up, when the chips fell, no family back-up. I'd rather be working. What would you do under these circumstances when your family has stood against you completely?"
He's on the streets in Traverse City, it could be worse. There's always Flint
ReplyDeleteYes the mean streets of Traverse City. Put him at 6 mile and Woodward and see what happena
DeleteSounds like he made his choice.
ReplyDeleteBut Madge always seems so warm and sweet and loving. My world has now been turned upside down.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't want to be helped; he wants to be enabled. Cutting off family members generally isn't done lightly.
ReplyDeleteMy thought exactly Camembert.
DeleteYou don't have to love your brother to pay for a cheap apartment.
ReplyDeleteI have a close relative like that. "I don't need a label, just your love!" And by love, they mean you give until you have nothing left to give before resorting to identity theft, then whining to the world (or the far-flung family members who don't know the situation) that you're a heartless monster who doesn't care about your family.
ReplyDeleteThe last time Enty posted about him it turned into a really sad thread about alcoholic family member horror stories. Yay, Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteIs this the same brother who wrote a book about Madonna?
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter to all who celebrate!
That was Christopher. And the book could have been WAAAY juicier!!!
DeleteI am by no means defending Madonna, since I couldn't care less about her. But having dealt with alcoholics and addicts over the years I am sadly reluctant to trust his story. I don't doubt that he is homeless and broke. And how easy would it be for Madge to write a check? But a check for what? For him to squander it all by getting kicked out of the house/apartment/job and be right back where he started? It is possible that they have tried interventions and failed. They have probably cut him off waiting for him to hit "bottom" so that he will go to rehab. I hate to sound like an episode of Intervention, but that's how it works sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWell, his winery job was a family business and the family paid for a few rounds of rehab. So family did support him - up until a point.
ReplyDeleteLabel or no, If he makes the choice to continue drinking then he should get a job and independently support his lifestyle decision. No one is stopping him from doing that, so when he says "getting a job would be better," then that's what he should do. There are functioning alcoholics out there.
I understand that it's a delicate situation. Any money given is likely to go to booze, or any shelter provided rented to others for booze money. However, I don't understand how it's difficult to hire people to leave a door open or provide help for one's brother, when one is incredibly wealthy.
ReplyDeleteIt is a nice thought but you would be enabling them. Whatever you give will be abused because this comes from a place of deep self hatred. On some level they are always trying to make you regret loving and helping them. Because they don't love themselves.
DeleteThen since you are giving in, count on watching them destroy themselves. Enabling someone permanently is like giving up hope of them ever changing. Although it is a gamble, if i let you hit bottom will you survive it. Will you fiht to live or give up. It is very painful and no matter what you do it feels wrong.
My own mother is succumbing to this. I love her but I can't make her love herself.
You just described my family's struggle with my sister, a heroin addict deeply in denial. It's very painful, and when I asked her to get help, she told me I was a judgmental, lying bitch who is a bad mother and needs to mind my own business...successfully pushing me away and shutting me up so as to draw less attention to her addiction. My dad is the most loving individual ever, and she manipulates him into giving her his last dime, making him feel guilty or sorry for her, and then lashing out at him after she gets her way. It's sick, and addiction has destroyed my family as we knew it.
DeleteWhy would you give an alcoholic a job in a winery?
ReplyDeleteEven on a very Happy Easter I can support the choice to let folks like him deal with the choices they make. Save yourself! Help those who help themselves!! This guy is a waste of oxygen. Trail of misery behind him I'm sure. He's harmed enough people. Stop enabling him everyone including the govt.!
ReplyDeleteCamembert has it right, with addicts the most loving thing is to stop enabling.
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard but so true. Sending money for food, rent, cash (regardless of how much you have to give) is not what is best for the addict. And they'll make you feel like shit for it, but you can't help them continue to just tread water. My sister doesn't want to work at all, she just wants someone to take care of her so she can keep partying and spending someone else's hard earned money. Every cent spent on her just helps her continue to not have to be responsible for herself or her actions.
DeleteI read he was drinking directly out of the taps of the wine barrels. He is just another user that expects a blank check from the world.
ReplyDeleteMynerva, that is why he no longer works there. I read about this somewhere else. He says all he needs is a job, yet he won't stop drinking. Madonna has helped in sending him to rehab before, and this is the result.
ReplyDeleteFirst off he needs to move the hell out of the cold and go be homeless in CA or FL and and he can work at a winery in CA b/c he has experience so there you go. Oh and write another book or sell a story to get rent money to move. There solved!
ReplyDeleteIf he is able bodied (unlike me) and has experience in the wine industry (which I would love) then I am officially jelly of him and wasting his opportunities.
Madonna is the easy target in this story because she has the most money in the family. But she is one of the middle children of a large family and her father is still alive, so I doubt she is the only one with any say-so in family decisions. It's not like he was working directly for her and then she fired him and left him destitute. As Tigercat pointed out, the winery is a family business and the family paid for him to go rehab more than once. How can help someone who won't help himself?
ReplyDelete@mynerva, RIGHT???
ReplyDeleteI was right along with all of the other comments, until I got to that part and wondered how the hell she expected him to succeed there? Would she actually sabotage him on purpose, just to be able to claim that she "did all she could?"
Not letting him off the hook (rehab is an opportunity that is out of reach for so many) and I'm sure there's more to the story, but I found that part shocking.
@Let love, the winery I believe, belongs to and is managed by the father so he's the one who gave him the job.
DeleteOh, and this story reminds me of a girl I knew in high school who was bulimic and got a job at freaking Baskin and Robbins! She ended up in a hospital/treatment center in no time, and nearly died!
ReplyDeleteMadonna has helped him before with an apt and rehab. If he won't help himself and get sober, you can't expect her to do it for him. She has her faults but he's choosing to live this life, and I can't fault her for that. Now, those sinewy arms, on the other hand.....
ReplyDeleteIt must take a certain kind of person to go to the media and whine like a toddler and blame others for their own obvious issues. Take accountability for your life.
ReplyDeleteI have a brother who is addicted to prescription pain meds and has/will do whatever to obtain them so bridges have been burned. I feel badly for him and my other family members who have the addiction gene. I have done my own personal work to be healthy and help him (nut not financially) when I can. I tell him that I love him and feel badly that his is sick and ask him to take the first step-admit that you are not in control. He hasn't done this yet and some will, some won't but you just have to keep asking. In the meantime lots of emotional manipulation and trying to lay on the guilt even if it doesn't work anymore.
ReplyDeleteI think at one point you just have to let go and stop helping the person.
ReplyDeleteAddiction is insidious--there are people who want to get out of it, and there are people who are very happy being addicts.
They blame everyone and everything for their problems. They refuse to take responsibility. They suck you dry and slowly kill you.
Sorry, my second ex-fiance (um, I've gotten engaged more than once...) was an addict.
I think in some twisted way, he enjoyed the attention and everyone scrambling and trying to "save him." He destroyed lives.
I have zero sympathy now for anyone who keeps fuc*()*)* themselves over and over again.
DAMD, I'm in a similar situation, though luckily my relative does want help. It is so difficult to be there without enabling. The mother in me (and I'm not even a mom yet!), wants to "fix" things, but I know I can't, it's her choice and her job to do so. Addiction suck!
ReplyDelete@PuggleWug I keep your family member in my prayers. As long as they are really committed to admitting they are powerless over substance abuse, then family support (not $$$) is crucial.
DeleteI don't know if going to an Al-Anon meeting will help you. But it's free & offers up help & support to family members. There are other free groups, too.
Keep in mind, relapses happen (not LiLo-type), but as long as the addict continues to honestly try, I'm sure you'll know in your heart when help is needed or if it's turned into enabling.
I know. Tough love was used on me from early on in my late teens & I now view my family as truly loving me because they wanted me to succeed, but not thru enabling. God willing & the creek don't rise (& doing it one day at a time), hopefully I'll celebrate 20 years of sobriety in June.
Continued prayers of strength for you & your loved one.
Bluezz :-)
Where's Shelly
Oh dear lord. I'm sorry for this man and his demons and am no longer a Madonna fan but it seems like the family has done all can for him.
ReplyDeleteAnyways Happy Easter all! I hope everyone has a lovely day with all the nummies they can eat. And if you don't celebrate, Happy Sunday!
Extremly typical addict drivel. What it means us," give me a place to live and all the he money i need so i can drink myself to death in comfort." Who's gonna buy into that?!
ReplyDeleteI think Madonna has done the right thing in cutting him off. Some people just can't be helped as they don't accept that there's a problem. And as the child of two alcoholics (one dead one living) you can't force sobriety on someone. I can't stand Madonna, but she shouldn't be getting grief for this.
ReplyDeleteNow, her behaviour regarding Malawi..... She deserves to be castigated for that.
No one has the right to judge others on how they deal with addicts in their lives. It's not sisters, brothers, fathers or mothers jobs to tend to a persons sobriety. That is a one man job, let the chip fall where it may.
ReplyDelete"I'd rather be working." He is working. He sells interviews to tabloids from time to time.
ReplyDeleteSimple idiot quit drinking - you are more likely to hold onto a job if work is what you truly seek
ReplyDeletesounds like the family went over and beyond to help this guy and therapists counsel tough love in these situations
if a person will not acknowledge he has a problem, nothing anyone can do until that person does
I am not a big fan of Madonna, but I understand why she is doing what she is doing with her brother. He'd rather whine about her cutting off the money rather than work on the addiction.
ReplyDeletei think he does way more than drinking, he is a druggie, the fam has helped him many times in the past but he has self destructive tendencies
ReplyDeleteMy brother is a functioning alcoholic. He went off at one of his friends at Christmas & they are no longer friends. He stayed at my dad's (my mum is dead) & then at my place over Christmas. You are constantly on eggshells around him because he has a violent temper & has no respect for anyone. He is filled with hate & anger & dad & I have tried helping him over the years only to have him waste the opportunity & abuse us. Madonna & her family have done nothing wrong, I am totally on their side.
ReplyDeleteOh, and for the record, Madonna's brother wants nothing more than to be enabled.
ReplyDeleteI'm no Madonna fan. Never was. But this joker even admits that he & Madonna never got along. So why the hell does he think Madonna's going to reach out to him now?
He's going to continue to show up once a year (preferably wintertime) & get paid by a tabloid to tell his sorry ass story again & maybe get a few shekels thrown his way.
It's on record that his family (& Madonna) have tried to help him more than a few times. He doesn't want help. He wants a handout.
Never try to con a con.
He's still living in denial "alcoholic is just a label" so I get Madonna.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather live with the guilt of not having done anything to 'help' my sibling into an early grave than the alternative.
blah blah blah,,,When alcoholics speak THIS is all you will ever hear them say: " I just need help and support from my family and friends" : means: I want everyone to do everything for me and I accept no responsibility for my life whatsoever, even though my family has helped me for years, and all I do is use people then complain that they're not there for me." I recall he was fresh out of rehab again in her documentary " Truth or Dare". It's everyone's fault but his,no one helps him, he needs more free money and booze, and more and more help from friends, "I have nothing, no one helps me, wah wah wah wah!" People have lives, jobs, marriages, mortgages and children that they're struggling to manage already, they don't need to be carrying your fifty year old ass on top of their own responsibilities you selfish drunk fuck. Take care of yourself, and stop whining about your talented disciplined sister, who has managed her life and her money well.
ReplyDeleteSorry ahead of time for the tl;dr!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go (respectfully) against the crowd here. I agree that the family has done more than enough to help him, and that more money will probably just kill him faster.
He's a chain-smoking alcoholic, living on the streets, and he's 56. His diet must be terribly unhealthy. He'll probably die soon, regardless of whether he stops drinking.
If I had Madonna's money, I wouldn't hesitate to buy him a modest studio apartment (how much could that cost in Michigan) and give him a monthly allowance that would, yes, "enable" him to keep drinking and smoking.
If your brother is bent on self-destruction and is almost certainly close to it, why not ensure that he at least self-destructs with a roof over his head and some basic dignity like a working toilet and shower?
The cost would be meaningless to Madonna - the equivalent to us of giving a homeless person a dollar - and in the end, he is her brother.
Some of you folks seem mighty keen on wanting to see people "hit bottom", as though that's some magic cure for alcoholism. It is not. If it were, this guy would be cured. Half the homeless people you see would be cured. The other half are mentally ill.
Some addicts can't be cured, and it is inhumane to wish greater suffering on them. I know there are a few people on this site who have cleaned their act up, but just because you did (and well done, you), does not mean that everybody can.
Can we all agree that nobody grows up wanting to be, or as a grown-up wants to be, a homeless addict?
I read a couple of years about a program some US city had developed to deal with its homeless population. Yes, that's very vague, but I don't remember the city. The idea was to buy a cheap piece of land in an undesirable part of town, and give every homeless person who wanted it a teeny roof over their heads. IIRC, big enough for a single bed, a chair, a mini-fridge, toaster oven, and a tiny bathroom.
The program wasn’t entirely free. If you were collecting benefits, you had to pay a portion of them as rent. Nobody was tested for drinking or drugs. They had a free laundry room.
It turned out to save the city money. They didn't have to send out emergency crews during a snow storm to put the homeless in shelters; unpaid ER bills went down.
And the inhabitants of this bare-bones place loved having their own, lockable, heated room. I remember the pictures of the occupants. They were so proud of their few belongings. They, like all of us, loved to be able to bathe and wash their clothes.
Everybody needs dignity.
In part, I agree with you. For some people, hitting bottom means dying. It probably won't cure them and they end up relapsing when they do.
DeleteMaybe she should buy him a place to live. Give him an allowance or whatever. But whatever she does, it will probably be the wrong thing. There is rarely a right answer.
Cornflowerbluezz, rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter to all of my CDAN peeps! Been away from the Internet for a couple of days so I just caught up with the Friday your turn, lots of great new blogs for me to read!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Alma, great insight there and totally agree that whatever she does, it will probably be the wrong thing.
ReplyDeleteEven if all she did was rent him an apartment, he'd find a way to parlay that into obtaining more booze.. like allowing associates to crash there in exchange for sharing their bottle.
Hard core addicts are ingenious when it comes to feeding their habit, and that includes turning everyone willing to help into an enabler one way or another.
This is an ongoing problem in my husband's family. They keep enabling a prescription drug addict. This person absolutely refuses any help. I've distanced myself because they don't think they have a problem and everyone is against them. There's no reasoning with anyone like that.
ReplyDelete@Jamie some people choose to live on the streets and this one just happens to have a famous sister he likes to wind up in the press. I appreciate your compassion but I think he is doing exactly what he wants to do.
ReplyDeleteHe looks pretty well-dressed for a homeless guy. Someone is doing something for him.
ReplyDeleteI can't fault Madonna or the rest of her family. We only hear what's he's saying to some reporter whose ear he caught. Could be total BS.
Regardless, it doesn't matter how much money his relatives have. If all he's going to do is drink it away, giving him more (including housing support) is more then enabling him, it's loading the gun.
If you're Madonna's lawyer and she asks you, "Can't we rent or buy him a place? I mean, what could possibly go wrong?" How do you answer?
ReplyDeleteI think by this point he has some brain damage from all the booze and probably alot of mental health issues
ReplyDelete@Ella Bee
ReplyDeletePut my MIL in your dad's place, and my stepson in your sister's place, and it's the same exact situation.
He's the one who's out on bail facing domestic violence charges. (Held a knife to his EX's throat after breaking and entering)
Not even 24 hours after he returned, he went right back to disappearing and ditching work, which got him kicked out of the inlaws' home twice before.
I'm furious at him, because he has no right causing all this trouble and causing deep rifts within the family. But I can't say anything to him, because I'm evil. I haven't spoken to him in over a year.
Some people can take or leave drugs. This one is in too deep with this prescription shit. They're from the devil himself.