Monday, March 04, 2013

Lindsay Lohan Tells Charlie Sheen To F**k Off - Assistant Throws Her Under The Bus

I'm sure one of these weeks Lindsay Lohan will wake up one morning and find herself noticeably absent from the news. If it is not because she is in jail, it is because she has burned through every possible job offer and has no more tricks left in her bag to satisfy her sugar daddies. She will then probably go out and do something to get herself arrested and more attention. Over the weekend Charlie Sheen offered to mentor Lindsay Lohan. She told him she is fine and that she does not need any help at all and to stop talking about her in the media because that is Dina's job and she needs to do something to justify the money she takes from Lindsay every month. I hope she filmed her Anger Management spot, because if not, Charlie could just as easily make that person Tiffany or Tila Tequila. In other good news for Lindsay, her former assistant is testifying against her. Yep, the person Lindsay swears was driving the Porsche is actually on the side of prosecutors in this one so if Lindsay goes to trial, she will lose. There are are also other people who saw her driving. And her lawyer sucks.

Posted by ent lawyer at 6:00 AM

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50 comments:

  1. MISCH6:01 AM

    Can't believe just how stupid she is...

    ReplyDelete
  2. FSP6:03 AM

    Free LiLo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dia papaya7:31 AM

      FSP! You have outdone yourself today. Her lips! My God, I hope that's photoshop.

      Delete
  3. Meanie Rhysie6:04 AM

    I am literally sputtering here, chin tickling my toes...this trick is just...clueless. Burn those bridges, baby!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Meanie Rhysie6:05 AM

    FSP...your avi is killing me!! lmao!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cathy6:06 AM

    As much as I hate Mel Gibson, he really needs to step in and take Lindsay wherever it was that he took Brit when she was at her worst.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ethorne6:19 AM

    You'll all be sorry when she wins her Oscar!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ms Cool6:22 AM

    Explain to me why the prosecutors have been so willing to cut a deal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. auntliddy11:13 AM

      Ms cool-no room in ca jails, so no matter who u are, they try all they can to keep you out of jail. And i really dont know if jail will help her or punish her. I really dont know know what u do with someone like this. She prob fade away and od one day like dana plato.

      Delete
  8. Cathy6:22 AM

    @ethorne - either that, or when emma stone collects her oscar in about 30 years for playing the title character in "LiLo: the story of drugs, denial, prostitution and death." They of course would have to wait 30 years to film in order for Emma Stone to look believable as a 27-year-old Lindsay.

    ReplyDelete
  9. LottaColada6:25 AM

    @Cathy- they should just film that now and give the starring role to Mackenzie Phillips.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown6:30 AM

      Hahahaha!!! That was hilarious!

      Delete
  10. Patty6:25 AM

    In order for Lindsey to win an Oscar she needs to actually get hired for a feature film. I see that happening in about a week from never.

    ReplyDelete
  11. SusanB6:25 AM

    Tila Tequila! Whatever happened to her?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Karen6:26 AM

    @Cathy, I think the difference is that Britney's issues stemmed from being bi-polar (or whatever she has). LiLo is a sociopath--there ain't no cure for that.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Meanie Rhysie6:27 AM

    Mackenzie Phillips. /snorting and cackling

    ReplyDelete
  14. ethorne6:27 AM

    Lol@Cathy. Do you think the Megan Foxes of 30 years from now are gonna tattoo Lilo on them because she's such a 'tragic' figure?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jessica6:30 AM

    I do not believe her assistant will testify against her, at least I won't believe it until I see it happen. There will be some secret check, secret deal, then all of a sudden, he will be testifying for Lindsay, not against. He already backtracked a while back and said he was "misunderstood".

    ReplyDelete
  16. Unknown6:32 AM

    How can you turn down Charlie Sheen?? He's a hot mess - obviously! But he's trying to help her and is one of the seemingly few people doing so without (again seemingly) requesting ass to ass...

    ReplyDelete
  17. nevarmore6:34 AM

    I think we should have a Lilo free month...unless she dies, or does something different besides her usual get-in-trouble-and-get-away-wtih-it job.

    ReplyDelete
  18. SusanB6:34 AM

    That's the difference between Charlie and Lindsay. If the situation were reversed, can you ever see Lindsay lifting a finger to try to help Charlie (or anyone else)?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Cathy6:37 AM

    That's a good point, Karen, but didn't Mel also help RDJ? He's not a sociopath, but I don't think he was bi-polar, either.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Cathy6:39 AM

    @ethorne - if they do, I hope it's that picture of her on the sidewalk, instead of some photo from her early years.

    ReplyDelete
  21. greenmountaingal6:45 AM

    What a dumbo. Say what you want about Charlie Shern, but he has a generous heart and actually seems to be sincere in wanting to help her. Turning him down is idiotic. She gets what she deserves at this point.

    ReplyDelete
  22. greenmountaingal6:46 AM

    PS I would love for Blohan to be on Intervention. I would love to see the interventionist Candy tear her a new one. That would be gold.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dia papaya7:37 AM

      GMG - I would pay money to watch this ^^^^

      Delete
  23. Lucas6:50 AM

    On the subject of "Whatever happened to Tila Tequila?"...wasn't there a bit on here not long ago about her turning tricks? Including correspondence from a john interested in making sure he got the royal treatment?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Pip6:52 AM

    Ass to ass!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Izzie6:58 AM

    What a remarkably drawn-out train wreck that has turned out to be!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Robert 7:00 AM

    The best she could hope for is a Lifetime biopic; does she even merit a feature film?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Audrey7:04 AM

    She's obviously in denial and thinks she doesn't need anyone's help.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous7:04 AM

    Biting the hand that feeds since 1986

    ReplyDelete
  29. Baka Neko7:10 AM

    She won't ask for help until she hits rock bottom and that won't happen until jail time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CrazyCatLady9:41 AM

      And that would take a judge/sheriff to actually enforce real jail time not the 30 minute "prison overcrowding" BS.

      Delete
  30. Rigby7:25 AM

    Let's not kid ourselves. Jail will not equal rock bottom for her. She will pull a Paris and cry and carry on about how unfair it is and how she is being targeted. Then give a bs interview once released about how changed she is, and how much she learned. Then she will go right back to normal. And by normal, I mean doing massive amounts of drugs and being a waste of space.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Amber7:34 AM

    I am super sad she turned him down. That would've made for a fantastic reality show. Charlie Sheen: Lohan Life Coach.

    ReplyDelete
  32. dia papaya7:41 AM

    Amber, you and GMG should take over new network programming. Pure brilliance!

    I am also sad. As much as we rag on Charlie he is a functioning addict. Still not great, but he's walked the talk. He also came from a loving home and his family really tried to help him. Although... maybe this was a "mentoring" arrangement like that one from a few weeks ago. I can't remember who it was now.

    ReplyDelete
  33. delete account8:04 AM

    Wow! Lilo is a freaking moron!
    Sending Denise Rodman in his blond wig and evening dress over to Kim Joan the son of the Kim Eel gave me an idea. How about we send Lilo abroad? I know its rumored to have be done w Ali, but with Lilo we'd keep it in the news so we can use her to punish other countries. Say Iran. They wont stop their nuclear program, send them Lilo! Once they see her Fire Croutch and realize that that will be them if they get attacked they'll stop. We cant send her to N Kores becaus Kim Joan's heart already belongs to Rodman so, lets also consider--Cuba? Nah, scratch Cuba, that would just piss off Fidel even more and make him live longer. Syria? Syria's good--by the time that Bash dude with the weird Christopher Walken eyes gets done with her, her Fire Croutch will be as gray as Orville Redenbacher's hair! We've all gotta send a letter to the UN with these ideas!

    ReplyDelete
  34. hunter8:39 AM

    I would watch the shit out of Charlie Sheen: Lohan Life Coach.

    Such a stupid horrible person to turn him down, so goddamn rude. And obviously publicly too.

    ReplyDelete
  35. parissucksliterally8:58 AM

    She still won't go to jail. And if she does, she'll be out in 2 days tops.

    ReplyDelete
  36. crila169:07 AM

    Nope...Lindsay will still get off. Guaranteed. This chick will get yet another slap on the wrist.

    ReplyDelete
  37. lazyday60310:05 AM

    Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous10:30 AM

    the bitch is crazy

    ReplyDelete
  39. Mango11:15 AM

    @ SusanB - OMG do you remember when Tila Tequila tried to get all sexy on an armchair and fell on her ass?


    @ FSP - You should send that avi to Enty so he can use it for all of his Liho posts. It's gold, I tell ya, GOLD.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Izzie12:20 PM

    Relax, people. Lilo will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  41. whocaresnow124:42 PM

    It's times like these when I wish the three strikes law wasn't reversed, at least if it was still in effect there'd be hope of her going away forever.

    ReplyDelete
  42. VeeBee5:07 PM

    I'm another "say what you will" about Charlie. He's definitely got the charm and he really does come across as a nice person, despite all the drugs and women. But LiLo? She's just useless, stupid and mean. Will she ever get her act together? Nope!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Jenn5:32 PM

    Dear God I hope this is her fame clock I hear counting down. Surely she's used up her, and about 200 other people's 15 minutes of fame by now.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Lelaina Pierce10:04 PM

    Hey, what ever happened to the assistant she had that she tried to chase down in her car? The night of the coke in the pants? Or am I getting that and the Paris Hilton story mixed up? :-/

    ReplyDelete

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