So, earlier this week when Lindsay Lohan agreed to serve 90 days in a lockdown rehab facility, I said she was stupid for not taking the jail deal. Bobby Brown is kind of proving my point because the prosecutors would have jumped at Lindsay serving 60 days in jail. She would have been out in a day and done with the whole thing. Easy peasy, Michael Lohan makes lemon squeezy and figures out how to sell it and blame Dina when it tastes like crap. Lindsay had another alternative to the 90 day lockdown. She could have had 30 days of house arrest. She turned it down because she didn't want to wear a SCRAM bracelet. Can't live without her booze this one and who could blame her. It seems like she is everyone's go to woman for escorting. Instead of those attractive options, Lindsay took the one that looks least desirable, at least from the outside. 90 days in lockdown rehab. Then her lawyer offers up that Lindsay would like to do her rehab time in New York. Fine the prosecutors said, have at it. It turns out there is no such thing as a lockdown rehab in New York and Lindsay would be able to leave for an hour or two a day and it would not be reported to the police. Ohhhh, see? Could keep on using and nothing would change. Prosecutors finally caught on to this and now, Lindsay is going to have to find another place to go to rehab or go to jail instead.
hahahahahahah!
ReplyDeleteHAHA sucks to be you Lohag!
ReplyDeleteTick tock... Tick tock......
ReplyDeleteSneaky? Nahhh you don't say! Why do I feel like if all the cameras weren't around she would have tried to pocket Mark Heller's watch?
ReplyDeleteSnorting and cackling here!! Dumbass twunt!
ReplyDeleteshe made a mockery of the Betty Ford clinic. The only place she might of gotten some help was when the Judge put her in the hospital. But she charmed the Doctors into believing she was fine and was just misdiagnosed with ADD and was wacky from the Ritalin.
ReplyDeleteMark Heller pulled the wool over their eyes and their pissed. Funny.
"It seems like she is everyone's go to woman for escorting."
ReplyDeleteDayum. I can't even get past this sentence. Is this a straight-up reveal?
My skin crawls at how much time and money has been wasted on this girl. Not to mention the people she puts in danger when she gets behind a wheel.
Saw the ad for the silly horror movie she's in with Charlie Sheen last night. She makes fun of herself with the drunk driving thing. I didn't realize that was supposed to be a joke.
It's going to take her killing someone else before anything real is done. And it STILL won't be her fault.
@Susan- I saw that commercial too and thought "but don't anyone dare make fun of her cuz she'll slam you with a lawsuit!"
DeleteThe fact that they were even going to LET her do it out of state pisses me off. Lesson to the world: Don't do Lindsay Blohan any favors!!!
ReplyDeleteImo, pretending she was going to serous rehab, instead of 'easier' options, probably eased her sentence. That's why I think the judge should haul her ass back in there.Then double her sentence to 180 days--6 months!
ReplyDeleteIt's probably her only chance to live--full 6 months of lockdown rehab.
I have been hearing this same story for years now and its boring. Some details change but, in the words of Robert Plant, the song remains the same.
ReplyDeleteI hope she is locked away for the full 90 days and I have a Lohan Free summer... Imagine how good that would be.
She's an idiot. And I'm snorting and cackling right along with Meanie Reese and everyone else.
ReplyDeleteIs she so adverse to punishment bc at some level she would have to admit to herself that 1) she did something wrong and 2) she has a problem?
The Lohag!!! I love it RCB!!
Can we as a collective start referring to her as the lohag? I ADORE that and think it's genius. Also a 90 day lohag respite would do us all wonders... Like a day at the spa...
ReplyDeletePs disturbing fact - my auto correct recognizes when I spell Lohan wrong but still doesn't recognize fucking. Lohag lohag lohag... Love it!!!
DeleteOT - RCB: I was so touched by your story yesterday. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteMe too. I wanted to say the same.
DeleteThank you guys- I did not want to take the attention from Robot and her Ben but I had to share my Bens story.
DeleteNo one said Blohan was too bright.
ReplyDeleteTears, excuses and more lies coming up next on the next episode of Living Lohan.
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't want help, so what is the point of rehab? It's pointless. And when I think of all the people who would benefit from a high-end rehab, it makes me want to weep.
ReplyDeleteHigh-end rehab is no better than a regular one, I know from experience.
DeleteMad sorry, that was @MadLyb
DeleteHonestly I almost think it could be worse. I do know people who have stayed sober but it is very few and far between. It's an essentially nice hotel and people telling you what to do. Once again, from my experience only. I know others who did very well in that situation.
Going to get some coffee now...
ReplyDeleteWho is she escorting in NYC that she needs to be there? Or am I missing the point with the no lock down rehab.
ReplyDeleteIt's just that NYC seems to be home base for a long while now and was curious if anyone knew...
OMG!!! Will they just throw her in jail already. Screw rehab. Her rehab will be jail. She can't get drugs there.
ReplyDelete@crila - do you really believe jail is a drug free zone?
DeleteMy best friend who was an addict and worked for years in recovery once told me that not everyone survives. Not everyone overcomes their addicition and Lindsay is a perfect example of someone whos luck will eventually run out. I have known too many people just like her who never get better They refuse to get help, accept responsibility for their actions and work out their issues in order to stay clean. and you know what happens to them? They die. At the rate shes going Ill be astounded if she makes it to 30.
ReplyDeleteSeriously - what's going on with her hairline? Has it always been that high or have the extensions been pulling out all her hair?
ReplyDeleteShe looks like Endora from "Bewitched" in that photo, right before she turns Durwood into a frog!
ReplyDeleteAll apologies to Agnes Moorehead.
I would like her to not be in NYC. Thanks.
ReplyDelete@Nope
ReplyDeleteme too not that I'll run into her..
Lohag! Love it!
ReplyDeleteShe's tricky.(In many ways)
I'm also on board with the Lohag name. I hope Enty calls her that in his next post about her.
ReplyDeleteI had a thought - anyone think that this is why Lindsay kept nervously telling Mark Heller to shut up during court? She must've been scared that he wasn't just getting the entire thing over with already so they could get away with the plan for NY rehab. Her game is slipping and sadly, that panic meant her addiction was showing.
Still a slap on the wrist. Glad she did not get off after serving one day. Man, is a unicorn one of her "clients"? How does she keep magically escaping consequences?
ReplyDeleteWell, as of 7/2 she can officially join the 27 club as so many of you have previously pointed out. With the life she has, I see her joining, not like she has anything going on for her - save multiple court dates...
ReplyDeletePink palace- that's an insult to the other members! They don't want Lohag anymore than we do.
ReplyDeleteA few disney movies does not make a legend no matter what Dina says.
I would hate to be the housekeeping person at that facility. You know she is going to go full metal feces flinging monkey shines in there.
ReplyDelete@katydid, ITA...however, this way she is immortalized forever.
ReplyDeleteI almost felt sorry for her today - w/those 2 parents - she didn't have much of a choice. Then I look @ all the bad kids who had 2 good parents, and the kids that did make good w/crappy parents and stopped the pityparty for her in 2 seconds.
She doesn't start her lockdown until 5/1, which means she will be in rehab for her bday...wonder what that cake will be made of!!
So glad the judge caught on to her ruse. This explains why she wanted Heller because he knew there was no such thing as lock down in NY. Is it just me or does one eye look wonky there?
ReplyDeleteI want to know when she has to check in. Anyone have an idea?
That backfired nicely on her. That said, it doesn't matter. Even if she went somewhere that she was allowed to leave, the judge said she couldn't. So the minute she left, permission or not, she'd be in violation. I just hope she gets caught fast.
ReplyDeleteGreat headline, but its missing "...and water is wet."
ReplyDeleteJFC, STOP with the "I feel bad for her, because of her parents" shit already! She is TWENTY SIX years old. MANY people grow up with fucked up parents, and don't become pieces of crap like Lohan has.
ReplyDeleteLOVE Lohag! But, could we combine her several nicks and go with
ReplyDeleteBlohag?
That would make me so happy.
Lohag, works.
ReplyDeleteI kinda like Lohaq, too, je ne sais quoi...
Okay, so do we start a pool for her first major fuck-up after rehab?
ReplyDeleteI suppose we'd need to determine a specific fuck-up or come up with fuck-up categories.
Fucking up after rehab? Who's got the over/under that she messes up BEFORE May 1?
ReplyDeleteAnd where in the hell is Ali?
ReplyDeleteshe was probably thinking she could sneak in shit in the rehab joint, especially in NY because White Oprah lives there and that's her shootin' up buddy. BUT, if she's does get clean for any length of time in rehab (obviously not by choice), she'll probably OD once she gets out since her body won't be used to the amounts of the junk anymore she used to take.
ReplyDeleteSend her to Hazelden for 6 months. If she can't get clean in Butt Fuck Nowhere, Minnesota, there really is no hope.
ReplyDelete"And where in the hell is Ali?"
ReplyDeleteShe's in the back room pulling a train. Why do you think Dina didn't fly to Cali with LiLo? Someone's gotta keep an eye on the family business.
OOOHHHH we need Xander to also make a "Where's Ali?" t-shirt, hahaha.
ReplyDeletezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
ReplyDeleteshe is as interesting as a kardashian. which means not interesting. sleep inducing. boring.
Even if she gets sober she won't stay that way when she starts numbing herself for her 'clients'. Hopefully Dina will screw up & get arrested for pimping while Lindsay is in rehab, I think it is her only hope & even then I am not optimistic.
ReplyDeleteTMZ now says there is a single lockdown rehab in NY State, but it's run by the state corrections dept.
ReplyDeleteBut Lohag isn't eligible because you must have a felony conviction to get sent there & she only has misdemeanors.
You know, when she goes to do her rehab, if she knuckles under, gets clean, and uses the time in there to increase her health and fitness, she could walk out of there looking better than she has in years.
ReplyDeleteThen, she should announce right there on the stairs if the facility that she wants nothing more to go with her scum sucking parents...
MEDIA GOLD.
Not that it'll ever happen. Doing the work to get clean and then prove yourself worthy of actual work is WAY harder than cash for 'services'.
Tho the fact that she needs to get high/drunk to dull the pain/reality implies there's a human somewhere in there...
Just go to jail so you can get released in ten minutes, simple.
ReplyDelete