Monday, March 25, 2013

Jesse James Gets Married Again

Well, it has now been one full day since Jesse James got married and there have been no reports of him cheating on his new bride yet. I'm not sure what line of crap Jesse told his new wife Alexis DeJoria to convince her to walk down the aisle, but he must be really tired from shoveling so hard. He cheats constantly. He has a crazy porn star ex-wife and Jesse enjoys anything Nazi related. He is a keeper. Alexis is a bazillionaire though so maybe Jesse can keep himself relatively well behaved. This is his fourth marriage.

Posted by ent lawyer at 6:45 AM

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30 comments:

  1. Betsy6:48 AM

    yuck

    ReplyDelete
  2. HolidayinCambodia6:48 AM

    He must have a magic dick.

    ReplyDelete
  3. lalaland6:54 AM

    hope theres a prenup

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:19 AM

      Lalaland 2nd that. I'm guessing he didn't get shit from Sandra Bullock. Could you imagine the public backlash if he'd gone after her money? I always thought there was more to that story though, something tells me Sandy isn't as squeaky clean as some think.

      Delete
  4. ethorne6:58 AM

    She looks a little cray, like she'll chop his balls when he cheats. He just looks like a doof in that pic.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Christopher Cruz7:00 AM

    Ew. Just... Ew.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ari7:03 AM

    he must have a golden rod

    ReplyDelete
  7. Steampunk Jazz7:06 AM

    With all his sterling qualities, I'm surprised he lasted on the open market as long as he did! That Man is a fixer upper with bunker basement appeal. (locked of course..and sound proofed)

    ReplyDelete
  8. LottaColada7:07 AM

    Gold digging whore!

    (and I'm not talking about Alexis)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Robert 7:08 AM

    A pair of lookers, for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Agent**It7:11 AM

    FYI : Her father is John Paul Dejoria, co-founder of the Paul Mitchell hair care products line and Patron Spirits Company.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KPeony7:32 AM

      @Agent : Eww she's the Paul Mitchell hieress and her hair looks that grimy?

      Delete
  11. Mama June7:25 AM

    She looks like a cross between Octomom and Amy Fisher.

    ReplyDelete
  12. greenmountaingal7:35 AM

    Just looks wise, I've never found Jesse James attractive. I usually like the bad boys, but he has crazy eyes. Also, he's a dickwad.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lucas7:46 AM

    Jesse James is plenty rich on his own. But that pic is freakin' hi-larious. Now we all know that rebellion amongst billionaires with daddy issues isn't that much different than rebellion amongst trailer trash with daddy issues. And before anyone says anything I spent years living in a trailer park under the flight line of Memphis International - I get to call anyone I want trailer trash because I recognize my own ;)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous7:49 AM

    Congrats....perhaps she's the one. ((Shrugs))

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous8:30 AM

    Time for Daddy to cut him a secret check to make him go away. Annulment in 3...2...

    ReplyDelete
  16. OKay8:46 AM

    @katydid - you and me both. I always assumed it was the same kind of arrangement that Demi and Ashton and every other "successful" Hwood couple had. Screw around all you want, but don't get caught or embarrass me publicly. Because clearly it's not cheating on your wife that's the problem, it's the world knowing that you did it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Taracu8:58 AM

    Sandy B is a lesbian. They bearded for each other- a symbiotic relationship. He made her appear straight. She helped him appear more wholesome and likeable. She couldn't care less he was pounding everyone in town, until it was made public and she had to deal with public humiliation.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sherry9:02 AM

    Lucas: I admit it, I lived in a trailer too. I was totally dickmatized just like this woman must be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lucas10:55 AM

      @Sherry - I wasn't dickmatized, I was a teenager living with my mom. She had tranferred from my hometown to Memphis for work and had her trailer hauled up there. Little did she know she moved into a park full of Irish Travellers of the "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" variety. It was a trip for sure.

      Delete
  19. crila169:03 AM

    Ewww is right. He's gross.

    @Taracu...yes. I agree, but I don't care if Sandy is gay or straight. She just appears to be a good person. I'm just surprised after the breakup, when he was expelling Sandy's secrets...the one secret he never said anything about was that she was a lesbian.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Taracu9:17 AM

    Me neither, @crila. Just saying that things usually aren't as they appear in HWood.

    Sandra does seen like a genuine, nice person. I think Jesse wouldn't want to do a really low blow like outing someone who didn't want it. I think they genuinely had affection for each other.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Mango9:51 AM

    I just don't see this fucking NEO NAZI having the patience or kindness to beard for a lesbian. OTOH, he does seem to be a real fame/attention whore. He must have loved getting to chat and rub elbows with all the A-listers who don't have motorcycles (or whatever the hell it is he does).

    I say we take bets on how long this love fest will last.

    ReplyDelete
  22. auntliddy9:57 AM

    They are both idiots, therefore deserve each other. Its like her 3rd or 4 th marriage too. Enjoy your few months together.

    ReplyDelete
  23. NomNom8311:40 AM

    Is it just me or do they look like one another? Same bone structure or something...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Zeeky_Boogy_Doog12:19 PM

    NomNom, you're right, it's a kind of Mr. Peanut vibe going on.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Zeeky_Boogy_Doog12:26 PM

    I think Jesse James liked Sandra Bullock because she's fluent in German, and he allegedly is a fan of all things Nazi. There's speculation that Bullock does too, but I don't believe that.

    Something hysterical: That grey-haired guy from "Fast N Loud"... TMZ got him while he was in LA for something and asked about Jesse James starting a show like his in Texas. He started trash-talking James, talking about "getting famous by marrying an actress" and other stuff. Rockabilly fight!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. MrWolf3:18 PM

    I think you women need to have like a guild meeting and pass a rule regarding marrying Jesse James. Also John Mayer.

    It really shouldn't be that hard to leap these hurdles, ladies.

    ReplyDelete
  27. di butler6:43 PM

    I see a Dirty (Hitler) Sanchez in someone's future! I'd prefer Bullock as a lesbian. Imagine the fun new casting-making out with Melissa McCartney? Fey? Rebel Wilson? Also don't believe Sandy didn't give anything to that jizzwhistle, post divorce.He's hooked a big fish now, they probably registered at Mein and Yours Kampf.

    ReplyDelete

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