Blind Items Revealed

May 30, 2007

This lead singer from a holier-than-thou-art family has had at least three #1 hits. Friends and family were expecting wedding invitations to show up soon. They were right because our singer had been busy making plans with his 5+ year girlfriend. Location booked, preacher reserved, the works. But isn't it weird that, when the invitations arrived, the bride's name was not that of the girlfriend everyone knew, but that of someone they had never met? Many chose not to attend the ceremony out of disapproval. All was made clear less than six months later when baby made three. Our singer had made the quick switch of brides when his very controlling, behind the scenes father hit him below the belt -- in the pocket. Seems our singer had the choice of marrying the girl he had been secretly seeing or being disowned and losing out on the family money. He chose the former and poor girlfriend got left behind.

It seems enough begging and pleading kept most mouths shut while he played devoted husband and father for a few years, the adoring wife completely oblivious to the existence of poor girlfriend. However, when it became obvious to the rest of the family that he just can't stop his wandering eye, vengeful little sister let adoring wife in on how the elaborate shotgun wedding had been planned so quickly -- she was the only detail that was added at the last minute. Now, adoring wife has made arrangements to meet girlfriend. Whether it will be a cat fight or a pity party is yet to be seen, but it doesn't look good for our husband of the year. Do I smell "irreconcilable differences"?

Taylor Hanson