The Top 200 Arrested Development Quotes

Basically it is every Arrested Development quote ever that is worth anything. Over 10 minutes long. You should just play this on a loop all day.

Blind Items Revealed

December 27, 2007

#1 You know that required physical from yesterday? Reason for the physical? Abortion. Father? Unknown.

Britney Spears

Uncle Poodle Talks About Being Beaten By Homophobes

The first time I saw Uncle Poodle on TLC, I thought to myself that Lee Thompson is a brave guy. It takes a lot of courage to be out an open in Honey Boo Boo's community and even though he dresses like a redneck and is a good old boy, he is still gay and I told myself he has probably been beaten up a lot. Turns out he has. In a message for GLAAD's Spirit Day, Lee says he has been repeatedly beaten by homophobes. He has suffered broken ribs and a broken jaw. He constantly has his car vandalized and has since he was a teen.  I don't understand why people need to beat up other people just because they are gay. Do they think they are going to beat the gay out of them? Are they scared that Lee is going to corner them and make them have sex with him? Are they secretly gay themselves? Or did they have nothing to do that night because their girlfriend broke up with them because they had a small peen so they went to find someone to beat up.

Blind Items Revealed

December 5, 2007

#1 This A list film actor and this A list film actress made nicey nice for the cameras recently, but as soon as the cameras turned off, so did the smiles. The pair it seems have very concrete cultural differences which results in them staying as far apart as possible under normal circumstances.

#2 This once very hot top 40/R&B singer as really cooled off over the past several years. Although she does have a boyfriend, she knows how the game is played. In order to get the best songs and the best producers for her latest album she made herself available to men and in one case a woman from her record label. Her boyfriend had no problems with this as he has enjoyed the company of women wanting him to produce their records. Now that the album has been completed, she thought it would all stop. Turns out though she is going to have to keep putting out, if she wants and marketing and publicity behind her new album.

#1 - John Travolta and Jodie Foster

#2 - Ashanti/Nelly

Kimberly Quaid Gets Tired Of Dennis Quaid Cheating

When Kimberly Quaid withdrew her original divorce petition back in May you knew it was only going to be a matter of time before she filed it again. She filed it because Dennis cheated all the time. Somehow though after she withdrew the petition he managed to cheat even more. He probably thought that she would never leave him no matter what or he wanted her to leave so went full out in the cheating department. I wouldn't be shocked if he came home and left at all hours of the night just to cheat. When you only make it from May to October, you know there was a whole lot wrong. It should not come as a surprise that Kimberly Quaid filed a petition yesterday for separation.

Blind Item #2 - Easy Easy

This won't go away reality star from a somehow hit network show has been practically living with a guy for the past month but you won't see him in public. She is in talks for a deal which would see him do something that has been done before once in the past and give the show a much needed boost in success rates.

Dina And Michael Lohan Should Leave Lindsay Lohan Alone

The years of being up their daughter's butt and kissing it as much as possible has not really worked in the raising of Lindsay Lohan by Dina and Michael Lohan. I think they should just go away and see what happens to Lindsay if they leave her alone. Send Dina and Michael away for six months or a year with no contact with Lindsay under penalty of two years in jail and see what happens to Lindsay. Yesterday Michael tried to stage an intervention because Lindsay has fallen off the wagon. She fell off that wagon a long time ago so if he is just rolling out that intervention train now, he is late. Dina then called his actions disgusting and a plea for attention but it took her ten minutes to finish the sentence because she kept stopping over every other second to do a line of coke and to check to see if she had any blood on her fingernails still from when she cut Lindsay's leg and the police called. I say leave Lindsay to her own devices with no parental involvement. None. No contact. At the end of it, I think she will discover her life is less toxic without her parents and that she can afford better coke than what her mom buys.

Blind Item #1

What foreign born B+ actor in his own country and probably a C lister here but a lead on a huge hit cable show did not show up for the birth of his child not that long ago because he was having sex with another woman and couldn't be bothered to show up for the birth even though the baby's mother was living with him at the time. He then took another girlfriend with him when he went to film something shortly thereafter leaving baby and mother at home. Said they could manage.

Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Get Hitched

Just like the successful and long term marriages of Mean Suvari and whoever she was married to and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, this Italian wedding between Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel is sure to last a lifetime. Or at least a few years. A year? When did they break up and get back together? It was not that long ago and then they end up getting married. Well, I do hope it works out for them, I just think that Italy is looking for that third in celebrity divorces so probably would have gone somewhere else. I think it is that whole need to get married again after the first wedding thing that causes an issue. Then you have to worry about two anniversaries and which one really counts and that leads to fights because gas station flowers twice a year for anniversary and birthday are ok. That third time though for the extra anniversary? Forget it. Don't even talk to me about Valentine's Day because if you go anything below street corner roses on that day you might as well just drop them off on the dining room table and head out to the garage or wherever you have your man cave. Hopefully you have cable and a refrigerator out there because it might be a while.

Random Photos Part Three

Ben Affleck holds on to the wall for support in Rome.

That Bengals cheerleader is on Dateline NBC tonight to say how she and her ex-student love each other and will be together forever. Uh huh. I bet he leaves her within a year.

In case you missed Brooke Shields doing her Joe Dirt impression on The Middle.

This is Britney Spears' new $8M mansion. No more renting for her.

Colin Firth and his lovely wife.

Emily Maynard gets over Jef Holm with her favorite food. Chick-fil-A.

Emma Roberts shows off the sunglasses she is getting paid to sell.

He is alive. Freddie Prinze Jr. is alive and well. And Sarah Michelle Gellar has let him out of the house.

Random Photos Part Two

Gerard Butler at the premiere of the movie where he got injured surfing.

I love haunted house photos. I could look at them all day.

Kate Bosworth and her boyfriend grope in a parking lot.

Katie Holmes is ready with her Christmas jacket. No fake Scientology Christmas for her this year. She is going full out.

Kate Hudson and Bingham in Paris.

That would be Rupert Sanders hugging his wife Liberty Ross.

Liv Tyler shows off her Halloween decorations.

Speaking of Halloween and scary things, the Olsens went out last night. They were actually honored for their fashion line The Row. They deserve it. They are very good at what they do.

Random Photos Part One

Three parts today. While Blake Lively is at work on Gossip Girl 5 days a week, Ryan Reynolds is in China getting paid $1M to play golf for the weekend.

Hello Roselyn Sanchez. Looking amazing.

Sandra Bullock and Louis hanging out yesterday. The kid is going to be huge.

Speaking of kids, I wonder if Sofia Vergara is enjoying this season long baby bump.

Tyra Banks and her mom at Tyra's charity event where everyone has to take photos with Tyra.

Like Rosario Dawson.

And Padma Lakshmi.

The moment when Tom Hanks dropped the f bomb on live television.

Amanda Bynes and Shannen Doherty won't talk to Jennie Garth, but Tori Spelling will.

Gnesa

I would like to thank Jane, a long time reader for bringing my attention to this video of Gnesa who is taking the internet by storm. I am not sure what is funnier. Her singing or the comments at YouTube. I will say one thing about Gnesa. She is no Rebecca Black.

Bret Easton Ellis Has A Sense Of Humor About Lindsay Lohan Missing Work

If you have ever seen American Psycho, you know that Patrick Bateman is the serial killer in the novel. Well, yesterday Bret Tweeted that he had sent Patrick over to Lindsay Lohan's hotel room to find out exactly why Lindsay failed to show up for work. Lindsay was supposed to do some dubbing for that truly awful movie The Canyons but was a no show. Probably because a rich guest checked in to Chateau Marmont and she had to decide whether she was going to f**k him or steal from him. In an ideal world, both. After they did lines together. With her mom on speaker. Oh, and Michael recording it. Who would ever expect Lindsay to show up for anything work related unless it involves her being on film. Dubbing is not going to get her there.

Blind Item #3 - Easy Easy

Ever wonder why these two reality judges hate each other? It is because the female judge threw herself at the male reality judge and being who he is, he had sex with her. He never mentioned it again. She wanted more. He said she was good for 15 or 20 minutes, but could never spend longer than that with her.

Fergie Talks To Oprah About Josh Duhamel Cheating Rumors - Kind Of

A couple of years ago, Josh Duhamel supposedly had a one night stand with a stripper while he was in Georgia making a movie. For some reason, Oprah actually asked Fergie about that in an interview that airs on Sunday. Since Oprah asked, I assume that everything was cleared with Josh and Fergie in advance because Oprah never asks a question that the celebrities are not prepared for and also agree to. Fergie says in the interview that it was a tough time during that period. She never actually says if Josh cheated, just they are a much stronger couple now than they were back then and that they communicate much better now. As in, Fergie knows where Josh is every second of the day when she is not around. I don't know why you have Oprah bring it up if you are just going to give some vague answer.

Four For Friday - It Hurt So Bad

It is another week gone by. Less than 10 weeks to Christmas. Which means of course it is just 11 weeks to reveal day. Of course every Saturday I try to do a reveal or two right here and blog all weekend so I hope you will come and stop by. Please follow me on Twitter. I am @entylawyer. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

It all started for this B-/C+ actress when she came home from work one day. Her new husband, who is an A lister now, but at the time was also a B-/C+ had been turned down for a new role. Our actress was a little late and she said that our actor jumped on her from the time she entered the door and grabbed her and slammed her against the front door. She says she could feel the doorknob in the small of her back and had a bruise afterwards for a week there. He kept his forearm under her neck and asked where she had been and who she had been with and seemed to think she was cheating on him. He always thought that. She had caught him cheating on her twice while they were dating and this was not the first time he had got rough with her. He had slapped her twice and was always calling her names. S**t and who*e were his favorites. He always apologized for hitting her. He never apologized for calling her names. The never ending verbal abuse if she was two seconds late or he had a bad day. Nothing like the charming A lister he is today. She says it is because of her that he is even where he is today because she introduced him to the person who gave him his first huge break. What did she get for it? Well that day with the doorknob in her back and then he started coking her. Really violently. Calling her every name in the book. Slamming her back against the door again and again. The actress says she has never had a more terrifying experience in her life and knows it is cliche but even though she had married the guy she had no idea who it was at the door and she just thought of him as some random stranger attacking her. She is pretty sure he would have tried to rape her but she was wearing jeans and she was not and is not a weak woman. She screamed. Loud. He was always afraid of people knowing his secrets. He backed off. She ran out. Never came back. Sent some people to collect her things.

Your Turn

Do you believe in Horoscopes? Fortune telling? Bio-rhythms?

National Enquirer Blind Item

WHICH former film actress has not been warmly received at her new gig on a long-running TV detective drama? Turns out she’s not only clashing with one of the male stars, but she’s also finding it extremely difficult to memorize the scripts that are loaded with medical and scientific jargon.

Tom Hanks Drops An F Bomb On Good Morning America - NSFW

No one pressed the button fast enough, so you do get to hear Tom Hanks drop the f bomb. Tome was perfectly willing to turn it into a funny situation, but the host just had no idea what to do and just moved on or tried to. She should have let Tom fix it on his own. Would have been much less awkward.

Autistic Jodi DiPiazza Performs Firework With Katy Perry

This is 8 minutes that will probably make you cry. It also makes you realize the difference between getting into a program for children that supports and encourages your child in contrast to communities that don't have programs because of budget cuts or not enough funds. When you see how far this girl has come, it is amazing.

Blind Item #2

This actor keeps trying to be A list after his franchise success, but his roles since then have mostly been huge flops. To keep audiences interested, he thinks that he needs a girlfriend on his arm to show everyone he is a player. In reality, he loves guys and always has and he always seems to have a new girlfriend to show off in public after he has had a fling with a guy. Then, just as quickly as a "girlfriend" appears in public she never appears again and the next time you see him in public with a woman it is someone completely different making it appear that he is a player.

The $6.5M Wedding

I don't really think that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are spending $6.5M on their wedding. Honestly, that is a ton of money and Justin has money and lots of it, but I'm not sure he has $6.5M to spend one night. I know it is a destination wedding, but unless they paid for everyone to fly out on a private jet to Naples and not just some as been reported, the wedding really just costs  the same as any other wedding that people would have if they decided to have a three day wedding extravaganza with food and booze for hundreds. From the photo published in Life & Style it sure looks like the wedding festivities kicked off on a high note. Of course, don't forget that the wedding will not be legal in the US, so there will probably have to be another wedding probably at some point in the future. Or, they could just consider themselves married.

Blind Item #1

This A list reality mogul and television personality has his third or fourth new girlfriend of the last two months. He has grown so used to being rich and getting whatever he wants when it comes to women that he no longer even bothers trying to date someone normally. He only dates women who are willing to be paid and to be there when they are needed and to disappear when they are not. He says he does not have any feelings towards women which would ever want him to be in an actual relationship and just prefers using them for what he wants, when he wants.

Rihanna's Dad Says Rihanna Should Marry Chris Brown

I have never understood what Rihanna's father sees in Chris Brown. How can he see any good if he has seen his daughter beat up the way she was by him. I don't know if Rihanna's dad and Chris Brown went and hung out in strip clubs or if Chris passes along some of the women that throw themselves at him or if they are both on the down low, but there has to be something that keeps Rihanna's dad from calling him out for the a hole he is. Chris brown almost killed his daughter, but told Life & Style this week that he hopes the couple get married and start a family together. Yeah, more people for Chris to beat.

National Enquirer Blind Item

FRIENDS of this newly separated actor are worried about his out-of-control drinking and begging him to go to rehab! After a failed intervention a few years ago, the former sitcom star swore off booze. But his recovery didn’t last long. Who is he?

Sandusky Victim #1 Speaks

Tonight on 20/20, there is a full length interview with Aaron Fisher who used to be known as Victim #1 in the Jerry Sandusky investigation. To listen to his story is heartbreaking and shows you not only what a monster Sandusky is and was, but what he was able to get away with because he was part of the Penn State football program. It is shocking that a principal in a school would tell a mother of a sexually assaulted young boy to really think about whether she wants to pursue something against such a nice man with a  heart of gold.  Those people belong in jail as much as Sandusky for enabling it all to happen.

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Lena Dunham Wanted To Dress Up As Serial Killer & Rapist Victim

Lena Dunham of Girls fame on HBO apologized to all of Canada after what she said was a joke suggestion for Halloween costumes went horribly wrong. In a Tweet to Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak, Lena suggested they dress up as Canadian serial killers Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka who were convicted of a series of rapes and murders including Karla's own 15 year old sister. In Lena's Tweet she said if Mindy and BJ would dress up as the killers she would dress up as the 15 year old sister they killed. Lena apologized kind of. Said she did not mean that people should dress up as killers or rapists but was talking about improper Halloween costumes. Lena has got a lot of fame very quickly and a huge book deal, but it can all go away in a hurry if she is not careful.

Bethenny Frankel Wants Nothing To Do With Andy Cohen

Andy Cohen and Bravo made Bethenny Frankel a star. So, how does Bethenny repay them? Well, according to Radar, Bethenny has refused to ever appear on Andy's show again because she wants to distance herself from Real Housewives and Bravo even though that is what got her start and Andy is the one who got Bethenny her own show. Bethenny also has no plans to ever have Andy on as a guest when her talk show gets a full order of episodes. This is the same guy that promoted that Skinny Girl brand she had and sold for a lot of money because of Andy and Bravo. When her show gets canceled she will be back and probably beg for forgiveness and a show again. Right now though she thinks she is better than everyone.

Maxim Model Killed By Hit Woman

Back in 2008, model and actress, Juliana Redding (bottom photo) got involved with a man named Munir Uwaydah from Lebanon. They had a brief fling and Juliana introduced Uwaydah to her father so they could do a business deal. During the negotiations, Uwaydah told Juliana's father that he had a woman working for him who he called his female James Bond who was his enforcer. She would rough up or kill anyone he wanted. Her name is Kelly Soo Park (top photo). For the first time yesterday, prosecutors have finally accused Kelly of being just that. Kelly is on trial for the beating death of Juliana. Apparently Uwaydah was upset that Juliana broke off their fling and wanted to teach her a lesson. Unfortunately no one can prove that part of it so Uwaydah has not been charged with any crime. Yet. How many enemies do you have to have before you decide to have on your staff a full-time hit woman?

Britney Spears Was A Mess

A jury was finally picked, and opening arguments began yesterday in the Sam Lufti defamation suit against Britney Spears' mother. The opening argument by Sam Lufti's lawyer was more like reading The Enquirer than anything else you would normally hear in a courtroom. We already knew that Britney had a really bad 2007, and early 2008, but this all just confirmed it. We had already heard about Britney's crystal meth habit which was supposed to be extraordinary. She also used amphetamines. Lots of them. So many in fact that is what caused her to get placed in a 5150 hold because she took too many one day. She shaved her head to hide possible drug use. Even though she had not rehearsed, she thought she could go out and just kill it at the 2007 MTV Awards. Yeah, that did not work out so well. This was just day one of the trial. This is going to be really good stuff. Just wish Britney was allowed to testify.

Random Photos Part Three

Ben Affleck at the London premiere of Argo.

He was joined by Bryan Cranston and John Goodman who

also had this really great photo taken of them.

AnnaSophia Robb films The Carrie Diaries.

Meanwhile, her twin sister, Carrie Underwood was in Los Angeles.

David Beckham takes his bike out for a spin yesterday.

Probably the best  photo of Demi Moore in a year.

An actual baby bump on Gisele. Must be having triplets.

Congratulations to Gabrielle Douglas on winning this glass bowl. Salad on me.

Random Photos Part Two

Hugh Jackman's Wolverine character takes a slightly different turn in this installment of the franchise. He goes undercover and learns to dance Gangnam style.

Who knew that Heidi Klum was a furry?

Katy Perry takes the walk of shame that so many have taken from John Mayer's apartment.

Kelly Osbourne in Mexico City.

Adam Levine and Jenna Dewan get comfortable with each other on American Horror Story.

Liam Neeson films Taken 33, 34, and 35 simultaneously. They are all the same movie anyway.

Mila Kunis with some bed head shops for pumpkins.

Mena Suvari and her boyfriend.