Today is the day that Lindsay Lohan will be arraigned on three criminal charges and have her probation yanked and today is also the day that nothing will happen to Lindsay. When she gets back from Europe she will turn herself in and get bailed out immediately after she adds another mugshot to her collection. Then we will sit here for a month or two waiting for the hearing to determine whether she will go to jail and she won't go to jail or will get such a minimal amount of time that it will seem like she didn't go to jail. This whole process will though provide continued employment for everyone who works in the legal community. Someone come wake me up when Lindsay does actual jail time. You know, like a good six months solid where we don't hear from her or see her and the only time we say the word Lohan is in the context of, "I wonder what happened to her."
She's aged before our eyes.
ReplyDeleteWhere is the judge that locked up Paris Hilton? They need to get on this case STAT.
ReplyDeleteBlah so I read about this this morning. The judge that's been assigned to her doesn't believe in jail. She basically believes in therapy/behavior mod, and gives her cases little gifts and crap for making progress.
ReplyDeleteFunny how no one in the legal system seems to realize that going to jail could be the only thing that can save Lindsay. Now she just continues screwing up, she will die and everyone will say 'omgggg why didn't anyone help her?' Right now it's getting sued and getting out of it, how is that helping?
ReplyDeleteSince she is broke (so can't bribe anyone) she should just go to jail -.- Or mandatory rehab, with drugtesting regularly, and when she fails no whiny punishment like sweeping floors, straight back to prison! Yes this will cost a lot of money, but what about thw 35893859839853 lawsuits she has per year? Think they cost more, and there will be more since she doesn't change and is surrounded by enablers like poppa and momma Crackho.
nothing will help this bitch because she thinks theres nothing wrong
ReplyDeleteI read that too, Amber.
ReplyDeleteHopefully the judge will take a different tack this time, because, you know, therapy has worked so well for her in the past.
OMG! Look at her face! It's 50 Shades of Lohan, tanning gel extraordinaire!
ReplyDeleteEnt- let's start off 2013 the right way: a LL ban. For a month, then maybe we can expand it further.
ReplyDeleteYes Carebear! That would be the best present!
ReplyDeleteAnd no Kuntrashians, either.
Hopefully there is a judge with wisdom that will be able to see that a long sentence will save her life.
ReplyDeleteSigh...I'm 50 today and I look younger than this trick!
ReplyDeleteI am off to get my very first tattoo...have a drink, a toke, some cake for my birthday celebration! I feel lucky and grateful to be alive! Much love and peace! <3
Happy birthday reese! You're one of my favourite commentors on here! Have a great day! :)
DeleteAwwww! I had a toke for your birthday too! Happy Birthday!
DeleteHappy birthday!
DeleteYeeeeaaahhhh Reese's!!! Happy birthday! Girl you don't look a day past 29. :)
DeleteHappy happy Reeces! Enjoy.
DeleteHappy Birthday Reeses! 12/12/12!!!!
DeleteBon anniversaire Reeses
DeleteHappy birthday Reece! Enjoy your day and much love and happiness to you. Xxx
DeleteHappy birthday! I'm 50 in 10 days...or rather, thirtytwenty.
DeleteHappy Birthday,@Reeses! Enjoy your day!
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of strange that she's even still alive. She makes the OLD Drew Barrymore look like Mother Teresa.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Mwaaahhhhh!!
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY, REESES!!!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the 50's Reeses! Enjoy and may many great adventures come your way.
ReplyDeleteIf any of us "regular" folk had even half her rap sheet, we'd spend 6 months in jail at the very least.
ReplyDeleteHBD, Reeses!
ReplyDeletejust die already
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Reeses! I like milestone birthdays - the dread/anticipation wears off (I say as someone who recently hit the 40's). Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for a Lohan ban. It won't happen, though.
Happy birthday Reese! :-)
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, Reese! Hope you have a phucking good day with phucking good birthday cake philled with phucking awesome philling.
ReplyDeleteDagny- you are amazing! I am in Seattle but we should totally be friends! :)
DeleteHappy 50th Reeses! "I'm 50 and I kick!" SNL skit
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm looking forward to a red-headed mug shot. Change things up a bit!
Reeses-what a great way to spend your milestone bday! Aside from what's happening to our faces and bodies, 50s are great, truly!
ReplyDeleteAs a recovering alcoholic, I usually have sympathy for people with addictions, but I just can't muster any for Lindsay. I'm not sure why that is, especially with her parents being who they are and thus her having the deck stacked against her from a young age. But I just can't.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, Reeses!
HAPPY BORTHDAY REESE!
ReplyDeleteI really hope Lohan gets arrested in NY then she will hopefully do some legit jail time at Rikers.
Happy Half Century B-Day, Reese! I'll be joining you soon.
ReplyDeleteReeses - happy birthday! I know it will be just the first day of a fabulous year!
ReplyDeleteAnd YES to Sugar mentioning the SNL skit - Sally O'Malley,I believe - so so funny!
HBD Reeses!! What kind of tattoo are you getting (if you don't mind me asking)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Reeses!!! Enjoy your special day (12/12/12) Once in a lifetime date??
ReplyDeleteThe only way Lindsey will not die is if she does time, here's hoping they lock her ass up!!!!
my sentiments exactly Ari!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, Reeses! I'm curious about the tattoo as well, so spill, damn it!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Reeses! Good luck with the tattoo! I'm getting one for my birthday this year too!
ReplyDeleteWhy don't we skip all these arraignment and sentencing posts unless she is being sent away in another state or for more than a year.
ReplyDeleteJust trying to save some memory on your site Enty. ;)At this point if I was LL even I would be laughing at legal system, making jokes left & right about how what a waste of time all this crap is.
Must be nice to be a celebrity.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Reeses!
ReplyDeleteHBD, RP! Book her, Dano, she's five-oh!
ReplyDeletei really want to see this girl make a come-back, she's been brought up by two people who have no accountability to be an adult w/ no accountability...it can't continue or she will die. i do think she needs a harsh sentence, and i think a jail stint could be a good thing, but ughhh, l.a. is so pansy when it comes to actual justice.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Reeses!
ReplyDelete@Dagny, very phunny birthday wish. ;)
@dia, I also came to comment on the Rainbow Coalition of Lilo's mugshots! Holy cow.
This is like a Faces of Meth montage. Right before they show the really awful one.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Reeses - for what it's worth, the 50s were very good to me!
ReplyDeleteAs for Lindsay, I heard a few minutes ago on the news her probation was revoked. If I were the judge, I'd make her pay court costs and jail her if she can't pay them.
I don't particularly like the idea of banning her or the KKlan. Reading about them and reading all the snarky comments makes me appreciate my ho-hum life so much more.
Happy Birthday Reeces!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday @Reeces! I shall have several drinks in your honor tonight. Do you mind my asking what tattoo you are getting or is it personal?
ReplyDeleteThe one in the middle is the most sinister of all!
ReplyDeleteI dont see how jailing her will do any good. Her crimes are not that serious, and shes a screwed up drug addict who doesnt even know where she is sometimes. I wish shed get sober and write a tell all book!!!!
ReplyDelete@smash I am in Sacramento, but distance doesn't matter due to the awe-inspiring power of the internet! =) Is there a way to do private messaging on Blogger?
ReplyDeleteDagny- no clue on the private messaging. You can always email me! ashley organics at gmail dot com. No spaces :) I grew up in Napa and my uncle live in sac town! My bfs mom lives in San Francisco. I miss the Bay Area so much!!
DeleteSo here I am reading through all these nice birthday messages, when suddenly: "just die already."
ReplyDeleteTook me far too long to realize that wasn't directed to the bday girl.
HBD, Reeses.
I vote for NO Lohan ban! She pisses me off to no end, but I can't help it, I get an insane amount of pleasure out of her antics.
Poor Lindsay, she has ruined her looks and that is the worst tragedy of all. I can't even imagine being so beautiful and completely ruining it at the age of 26. Remember how the paparazzi mistook her for 60 year old Debbie Harry when she had that horrid blonde hair? I wish someone could help her but that's not likely at this point. So sad.
ReplyDeleteOh and she will be my example of why you don't do drugs for my kids. If I had seen her picture in high school I would've never touched anything EVER. Scared straight indeed!
ReplyDeleteWe need a LOVE button in here!!!
ReplyDeleteI phreakin' love my tattoo!! I'm already planning my next one!
My tat: It's called Tribal Heart by Gail Somers. It's kind of an open heart with a smaller solid heart in the middle. It's my first tribute tat to my son and my parents, all 3 long gone. I have another one in mind just for my son and talked to the tattoist about it. I got quite emotional as I shared with Stretch the birth and loss of my son.
It also means...keeping an open heart and purple...to me represents PEACE. I'm always in search of peace. I've had a lot of heavy duty trauma and such in my life: forgiving is very important to me; I'm working on forgiving MYself.
I phreakin' love the awesome and beautiphul readers of CDAN!
Now...wasn't writing about my birthday so much better than writing about Lindsay? ;)
Love and peace to you all! <3
Happy Birthday, Reeses! We're birthday buddies. Today is my 40th and I also look much younger than Lindsay. Even Dina looks younger than Lindsay.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Jenn719, my sister Saggi. I hope you're having a wonderfully fabulous day!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Reeses. That sounds like a beautiful tattoo. Something I am going to do in 2 yrs on my 60th.
ReplyDeleteI am waiting for the IRS to go after her for the back taxes. They do not play.
@Reeces - Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a wonderphul and phantastic day!
(sorry couldnt help it - loved the PH)
wishing you well! :)
Reeses, hope you have a happy, wonderful birthday!
ReplyDeleteMay the universe bright you joy and light, and more F's than you'll ever need!
(LOL, I almost wrote "F you" but that didn't sound right. So I'll say that Lindsay instead. F You, Lindsay!)
Should submit this lineup of images to Faces of Myth
ReplyDeleteMeant to say Faces of Meth. Damn auto correct
DeleteShould submit this lineup of images to Faces of Myth
ReplyDeleteShould submit this lineup of images to Faces of Myth
ReplyDeleteLovely story, Reeces, and it sounds like you had a pretty awesome day planned, hope it was amazing!
ReplyDeleteThat was a nice story Reeces! I hope you had a great day and I love that your getting tattoos! Gail Somers work is very pretty.
ReplyDeleteI meant "you are." Jeez.
ReplyDeleteNodisplayname - I think your "faces of Myth" suggestion is spot-on. After seeing that Liz Taylor antibiopic, Lohan's talent is looking more like a myth every day!
ReplyDeleteI agree Enty, can't she just disappear for six months so we can all forget about her? The poor wretched beast. Go away crackmonster!
ReplyDelete