Monday, December 31, 2012

A Kim Kardashian Baby

What do you do when you really desperately want to continue to stay on television and relevant? You have Kanye West's baby. Kim Kardashian confirmed she is pregnant and everyone is assuming it is Kanye West's baby. I know she thinks this will finally score her an invite on to Jay-Z's yacht, but I think she is mistaken. She is going to be more difficult to deal with now and I'm sure she has already researched how many nannies she can hire to ensure she never has to make actual contact with the child right after she called Khloe and said, "Guess you are last." OK, so she probably didn't say it, but Khloe probably feels that way and was crying and probably hates Kim even more now. I think it is a desperate fame grabbing reach and was not done because she wanted a baby. It was probably made with the same cold calculating decision as what she should wear which if you have seen her lately has truly been awful decision making. Hopefully Kourtney will raise the child. As bad of taste as she has in men, she is a really good mom.

143 comments:

  1. Um, she's still married to the last guy. Classy. Also, did they really do this the old fashioned way or did they go to the same clinic where John Travolta makes his babies?

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  2. It's like THE OMEN 4: THE TOILET CONCEIVES!

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  3. Anonymous6:08 AM

    What a kunt, she just HAD to one-up Kate (Middleton). SMH

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    1. she's 12 weeks how could she one up kate when they are about the same & will probably both be due around june?

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    2. Anonymous7:35 AM

      @Jennifer ...that comment, my dear, was an attempt at snark. Which obviously failed miserably. ;-)

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  4. Double Facepalm

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  5. Does she have any idea whatsoever what having a child is all about? I mean god forbid the kid have any special needs or a normal sized ass. How would she cope with that?

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  6. Kim's perfectly timed New Year's announcement. She really knows how to pull out all the stops in her quest for celebrity. SMH is right.

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  7. What a surreal, screwy life shes living. Everything backwards. New baby is always nice, but timing is weird.

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    Replies
    1. Ugh, what if the kid has kanyes big mopey ass face??

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  8. 1/Kim is again married to her basket-ball player
    2/i think she's a decent aunt so i don't see why she would be an awful mum
    3/i don't see why Kourtney can raise the kid whereas she doesn't live in LA,the future kid has 2 parents....
    4/where do you see KHloe is a good mum? she has no kid and she doesn't see Lamar's kids (remember Lamar has several kids with another woman)

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  9. She's pregnant?! Ugh! I hope her ass gets gigantic.

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    1. It already WAS gigantic!!!

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    2. I should clarify - I hope it becomes so much more gigantic that it explodes, thus killing her.

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    3. @greenmountaingal - first laugh of the day! Thank you, dear :-).

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  10. @Paper Trail - You made me laugh - now I'm picturing a baby in a diaper with a balloon ass. Custom made pampers!

    I do feel bad for Khloe if it's true they are trying for a baby.

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  11. Enty said Kourtney was a good mom, nothing about Khloe's mothering skills. I thought I remember hearing that Khloe has been wanting to have a child of her own.
    As for Kim and Kanye, my wish for 2013 is to never hear from either one of them again. Alas, that wish won't come true.

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  12. Ugh. I hope Khloe's marriage survives this because I have a feeling this is going to be very bittersweet for her and Lamar

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    1. No kidding. I could just picture Kim sitting there in a chair with that smug fucking look on her face thinking of everyone she has managed to piss off with the news, plus all the drama it will create not to mention all the money she will take in. I wouldn't put it past her to rub it in Klohe's face every. Single. Time. Like pouring salt and lemon in the wound. Just to show her "I'm pregnant and you're not."

      Well you know what? Any whore bitch can get pregnant but it takes a certain kind of person to be an actual mother.

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  13. This has to be a sign of the apocalypse. There are few worse people to reproduce, let alone together. Just multiplying the douche bags of the world. This is horrible news!!!

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    Replies
    1. Was thinking the same thing!

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    2. The only way it could be worse is if Charlie sheen was the father!

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  14. She just had to steal my thunder. ;-)

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  15. Is this the blind about someone having a baby to change public opinion of her? Yes. And godIreallyhatehersomuchandKanyetoo. I feel sorry for the child born to these whores.

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  16. This is the lowest of the low, even for them. Kim and Kanye are both huge famewhores, so her bearding for his gay self isn't surprising, but going as far to have an actual child with him? Good god, do you people know limits?

    Like, I'm cool that another gay male, like Hugh Jackman, has kids with his beard as he obviously wanted kids and they're happy friends.

    But Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are NOT parent material. That kid will have 50 nannies and only see his parents for photo ops. Sad and disgusting the lengths these people go to, and to bring an innocent life into their wrongly priotized world.

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  17. Poor baby. Makes me a little queasy. Why would she thInk this was a good idea? Doesn't the sex tape kind of squash any mom-press? ( Gross!). I keep expecting one of the younger girls to show up pregnant.

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  18. I can't wait until the kid is old enough and asks KK why she is famous...

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  19. Just wait til the kid is old enough to Google!!!

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  20. Ahh, explains the weight gain recently. She was probably hoping for more bump speculation but all she got was "Kim's getting fat" press..

    Would not be surprised if she is not pregnant and is angling for "Kim's miscarriage heartbreak" covers.

    Everything about her is so calculated.

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    Replies
    1. I was thinking she was starting to look like a busted can of biscuits.

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  21. I think she has weird Single White Female obsession with Kate Middleton and just HAD to have a baby. She did the same with the wedding and I read that Kim is also very sick with morning sickness.

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  22. GONGRATS KIM, babies are a real blessing, just hope you dont spoil that kid rotten

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  23. Heard about it this morning, was waiting for enty's take.I absolutely agree with him and other posters, both are narrsicst and will do anything for attention.

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  24. Name ideas: Puta de medios or Putain de médias

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  25. Karrots---SO TRUE! haha....Nobody thought of a bump, everybody was saying 'fat'. So funny!


    Anyway, if this is real, let's ALL pray it's male, and will be harder to pimp out the way all the K-girls learned from mama.

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  26. A wise woman once told me that you should never have a baby with a man unless you're totally ok with the fact that your daughter could look just like him. Good luck with that, Kim.

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  27. It won't help you Kim...

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  28. I don't watch their shows anymore - have they addressed any further why Khloe isn't getting pregnant? I think I saw on Khloe and Lamar that she's "fine". I can't remember if they ever tested him, though. Obviously he already has kids, but it doesn't a) mean that something isn't wrong NOW, or b) that he didn't secretly get snipped and is just going along with it.

    Maybe being a mother will change Kim, and she'll just go away and be a mom. Doubtful, but maybe.

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    Replies
    1. Pretty sure one of the last eps of the season was Khloe finding out that she didn't ovulate and that is why she can't fall pregnant.

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  29. Has her husband issued a statement?

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  30. The baby's name will be spelled in ALL CAPS!!! and the poor thing will be born with an ego bigger than Kimye. I am sure Kris Jenner is running through Poise pads hourly she is so wet from this announcement.

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  31. Happy new year lovely CDAN readers!

    All I have to say about this post is *groan*

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  32. Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Antichrist is among us.

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  33. They'll name it Kimye regardless of gender, and Ryan Seacrest as godfather. ~snort~

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  34. If this isn't a sign of the End Times I don't know what is. And I wouldn't be surprised if Karrots was right - that she's faking and will have a devastating "miscarriage" and need a lot of shopping therapy.

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  35. @Barton & FSP - I reeeeaaallllly hope they name it Damian.

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  36. LOL to Unknown and your 'poise pads' remark. Nauseating AND hilarious!

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  37. What does "obviously gay" mean? I can see "possibly bisexual," but "obviously gay"? No man has come out and said they had sex with Kanye, but lots of women have. Just because a blind item claims someone is gay, doesn't make it true.

    Kanye's gay rumors started because of homophobia in hip hop. Kanye didn't act like other rappers, and was too into fashion and art. So to some less enlightened folks, that makes you gay.

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    Replies
    1. @thegwa, good point. I bought into the bi/gay rumours, but I totally see how they could have arisen from homophobia in the industry. I know someone in the industry and we were just talking about Kanye and she didn't think he waa gay either.

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  38. Uhm .... since she is still legally married to the Grape Ape, is California one of those states where paternity legally falls to the husband?

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    1. I don't think so, since conception happened after they were separated...

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  39. Haha Unknown at the name being in ALL CAPS!!

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  40. Am I the only one who rushed over to surisburnbook?

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    Replies
    1. Nope, was right behind you.

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    2. The first place I went was to get Suris opinion. I know its scandalous but I love Suri's burn book. She's hilarious.

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  41. Blind Item revealed, this has been blind itemed and MediaTaken Out for the past month

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  42. I just saw a story that claims Kim had 'no idea' Kanye was even going to mention such a little thing,
    at 12 weeks into her pregnancy,
    just as she begins to show,
    during the holidays,
    right before the premier of her new season/show/whatever,
    as the whole K-ian empire is crumbling, gagging for new story lines.
    And during his show at this exact time! What a surprise, because Kanye isn't really the type to like attention or blurt things without A LOT of contemplation.

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    1. Lol have you seen his twitter and his interrupting of swift? No impulsiveness at all. Although I don't believe she didn't know but I could see Kanye being the kind of guy to take that moment from his baby mamma

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  43. Maybe she'll name it after O.J.

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  44. From what I.understand, Humphries' the one that is delaying the divorce. This news should also motivate him to get moving with it.

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  45. You know, as horrible a parent as Kim will be, I think Kanye will be even worse. Kim is just a narcissist, and good nannies will ameliorate a lot of her problems. Kanye, on the other hand, is crazy. He isn't going to neglect the kid, he's going to warp it.

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  46. It is so sad that babies have become commodities for celebrities in this day and age. They are a step beyond those expensive handbags that women (and some men) like Kim K carry around. Her having this baby when she is not even divorced from her husband just makes it okay for her minions of "fans" to do the same thing, sans all the $$ Kim K has to support a child. What is our world coming to with anti-role models such as she?

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  47. I hope her divorce from Neanderthal drags on and he's the legal father. Now THAT would make up for all the dumb headlines we will have to endure. And here I thought that she was out the door. So so silly of me. Sucks. It is really really hard to ignore all the headlines when it's all EVERYONE talks about.

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  48. @Mooshki - Is it too early to call CPS on him?

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  49. One thing I don't understand (well, there's a lot I don't understand but I'll stick with one question): Why does everyone think Kanye is gay? Is there someone in the know who has said so? How did that story get started?

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    1. I think it has to do with the fact that he is so into fashion.

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  50. the apocolaypse has surely begun

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  51. Spawn of Satan. Yes, the apocalypse is near.

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  52. I don't understand why celebrities wait so long to announce they are pregnant. Everyone is going to find out sooner or later. I know some people want their privacy, but I'm surprised Kim didn't tweet about it the second she found out. Why is it such a big deal when celebrities get pregnant anyways? It's a pretty normal part of life.

    Also, I feel bad for Khloe. It can't be easy watching your sisters get all this attention for being pregnant when you are having trouble getting pregnant yourself. I feel double bad if the rumors are true that Lamar is cheating on her.

    Also, I wonder if on the baby's 18th birthday, Kanye will find out it wasn't his.

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  53. OK, I have two word for Kim: maternity clothes.

    Are we going to have to look at her parading around in thigh-high boots, miniskirts, and a baby bump protruding from a halter top or something?

    Wait - I know - she could sell advertising space on her bump. Or at least, get it sponsored by something klassy like fancy vodka or somethin'.

    God bless the innocent child they drag into their crazy circus.

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  54. Mitch truer words have never been spoken. And suri was the first place I checked when I heard the news last night, nothing has been posted so far.

    I don't think she will be a bad mom per se but definitely think she will be an extremely shallow, squemish, avoid the dirty bits kind of mom.

    I really wish this was Khloe, she actually wants a baby because she wants to have a baby, not because she wants extra PR. And just because we don't see Lamar's kids on camera doesn't mean they aren't there. I wouldn't sign off for my young children to appear on that show, would you?

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  55. I feel really bad for Khloe (but naturally I would, right?). Assuming her whole "I want kids" routine isn't an act for the cameras, I know how much it sucks when everyone who is not you is popping out kids left and right. Particularly people who have no business owning a plant, so much as having a child.

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  56. There was a blind in the recent past which said a rap star was planning to dump his celebrity girlfriend and nearly everyone guessed these two. I hope it gets revealed because I'm very curious just who that is now.

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    1. It was them, which is why she got pregnant.

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  57. Prepare yourselves for the nightmare that will be the world's first animate douche. I'm scared.

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  58. I just know this heifer is going to do a naked magazine cover while pregnant. Gah.

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  59. She couldn't even handle taking care of that kitten! Ugh!

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  60. Just wow. That is all.

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  61. Puggle---I was going to ask, who gets the kid when she finds out she's allergic?

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  62. Whomever suggested "Kim's heartbreaking miscarriage" could really be onto something. Would be perfect for publicity and she wouldn't actually be stuck with a baby.

    If she actually IS pregnant, she should give it to Khloe who actually wants a baby.

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  63. I was reading about this last night and all I could think of is how badly Khloe wants a baby with her husband. This trick is still married to get ex and knocked up by her new boyfriend, way to keep it klassy.

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  64. Anonymous7:56 AM

    Having an innocent baby for ratings. Nice. I bet Mama Kris is beside herself counting the millions she hopes this brings in.

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  65. Anonymous8:00 AM

    This child is going to end up the most spoiled entitled brat in the history of the world. Holy crrrrrrrap. Why did we think she wouldn't do this? I agree that it will probably be a miscarriage to garner public sympathy. She doesn't love him, he doesn't love her, he's "supposedly" gay per the rapper that came out this year and said that he had been in a relationship with Kanye. There's no way that a woman who makes her living as a prostitute would actually give birth to a baby. Although it would be a good monthly check for her. Her star is falling, perhaps this is the best way her and her pimp Mom can figure out to guarantee her a long term income. I call bullshit though, ten bucks says she doesn't have a baby, that or pulls a beyonce.

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  66. @Karrots
    I thought the same thing. Both of them are such famewhores and this is such a calculated desperate plea to extend her waning 15 minutes. If the pregnancy angle doesn't work the sympathy from a miscarriage will be the next best desperate act.

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  67. I'm happy for Kanye, cause I love him, I hope she gets bad Morning Sickness

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  68. I call SHENANIGANS!
    Another Beyonce pregnancy.. Kanye is gayer than Elton John.

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  69. Suri has a post up on this. She just can't catch a break!

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  70. Sorry kim but you did not one up kate middleton but you did beat j simpleton. I totally remember this blind about how her mom was keeping track of her ovulation so that she could change the publics perception of her. Ughbthis family makes me sick.

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  71. According to our local gossip columnist who has an in with the Humphries family and legal team, it's Kim who's holding up the divorce. They've been getting depositions out of just about everyone else, but Kim has so far refused to make time to give her deposition. That's not surprising, since a whole lot of questions about things not entirely related to the issue at hand can be asked during the deposition. It can be used as a way to embarrass the deponent. Thing of the things Kris' legal team could ask Kim during her deposition - about her show, about her intentions when marrying him, about her finances, about her relationships with other guys, about her contract with the show, about the family's plans regarding her and Kris' marriage - you get the picture. There could be all kinds of stuff asked of Kim that she really doesn't want to talk about.

    Her other option is to forgo the deposition and settle on Kris' terms. We don't know what all those terms are - except that it is very important to Kris that Kim acknowledge the marriage was a fraud and she only did it for p.r. purposes.

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  72. Interesting to see how this affects the divorce, and it WILL come into play somehow. Especially since Kris doesn't want to go quietly into the night.

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  73. So...which one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is this? War, Famine, Pestilence, or Death? (I'm going with Pestilence myself...)

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  74. This just give me a migraine.

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  75. Surely this is what the Mayans were talking about.

    @Mooshki, I don't think Kanye is crazy in a hurtful way, I think he's on the wrong side of the fine line between genius and crazy.

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  76. Poor baby probably already has a contract with its grandmomager. :/

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  77. Anonymous8:32 AM

    Well, I'm happy for them. he looked happy announcing it. I think they been messing around for years and compliment each other. after his losses, I'm glad he is having a child. and despite her excess, her childhood seemed pretty fun and stable . Congrats kimye

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  78. Anonymous8:35 AM

    This news really bums me out. She's a disgusting pig I couldn't really care less about him. My hub and I have been trying for two years after been married for 11 and this worthless piece of shit gets pregnant and will only use the baby to keep the pimping tradition going I refuse to watch anything with any of them in it

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  79. Yodelay, it depends on what you mean by "hurtful." I don't think he'd abuse the kid, but I think he'd try to shape it in his own image in an unhealthy way.

    SusanB, I think that every celeb has had gay rumors, but I think Kanye's may have stuck because of the South Park episode? (Which was freaking hilarious.)

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  80. For one brief moment, I was sad that many people were not happy for Kim on her great news. And then I remembered what a famewhore she is.

    To think, if Kate Middleton hadn't returned the clothes Kim sent her, Kim would soon be sending Kate clothes for the Royal Baby.

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  81. Kanye paying off his exes/making them sign non disclosure agreements didnt help his cause. The biggest shock of this story to me is that they actually had sex, but who the hell knows. He's one of those to me that almost tries to hard to prove his straightness.

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  82. another one who is horrified that this heffah is knocked when so many loving, deserving, SANE people are still trying to conceive.

    I hope Humphries gets a giant check for this! :-D

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  83. I just can't see it. I'm still waiting for the April fool's at the end of their announcement.

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  84. It's not Kate Middleton she's competing with, its Reggie Bush. When she was in Miami she was stalking him, trying to get him to leave that Armenian girl he's in love with. Then Reggie goes on sports radio and makes the announcement that they're having a baby. Suddenly, Kanye's in Miami fighting w/ paps & looking at houses with Kim. She knew Kanye was getting tired of her, her mom and having to make appearances on the show. Kim also knew she'd never be able to get another athlete, so she got pregnant, making sure he can't break up with her (yet) and she's guaranteed a big payday. The only problem is that now Kim's going to have to settle with her derp face husband since this baby slam dunks his case. I think Kanye figured out that he was the back up plan she would settle for if Reggie never came back.

    Oh and if you want to know what kind of mom she'll be, look no further than PMK.

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    1. Also, Kanye will still be allowed to sleep with men, so everyone wins.

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  85. I don't think Big Foot can have kids and if the blinds are true, she and her basketball husband are on the skids.

    Everyone saw this coming a mile away.

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  86. Anonymous9:26 AM

    @ gwa ita .. Kanye got a bad rap in hip hop ( ohhh pun intended ) because it is so homophobic of an industry . He is insanely talented which to me makes him only tolerable in regards to listening to the music .. Bi? Meh .. Maybe .. Definitely not gay .. He's definitely like a woody Allen to me.. Guy is weird as hell and loves his muses.

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    1. Anonymous9:44 AM

      I just noticed I said definitely twice .. Must've been having a rainman moment!

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  87. G-d help us all through the next year of Kim's Every Move.


    Talk about two people who shouldn't breed......

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  88. Well, if Kimmy delivers this crown prince / princess she will be set for life and then some. Mama Kris must be praying thanks to her god and weeping tears of self-congratulations.

    I don't think Kanye is gay. He may be bisexual, and as long as he's not doing both at once and cheating on a partner, I don't think it matters.

    Bisexuality is so common in music and art circles, I don't know why people are even surprised when they hear it about an artist or musician.

    Bisexuality is also common where certain drugs are being used: as in the riddle,

    "What's the difference between a boy and a girl?"

    Six beers and an eight-ball!

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  89. LOL @ Tuxedo - I've never heard that one, but I like it.

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  90. Please let this be the first and last story you do on this broad.

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  91. Fame whoring again!!!! She got pregnant because Reggie Bush announced that his girlfriend was pregnant around 3 months ago. Also Kanyes ex girlfriend Amber Rose is pregnant and ready to pop. We see right through it

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  92. Oooo, Squeezebox, thanks for the info. I loves me my little Kris, dumb as he is, just because he's so lanky and cute. With him, dumb is a plus. I can imagine him staring into the fireplace and murmuring, "Where do those flickering things come from?"

    And @Amber, Damian is totally the best name for this spawn of evil.

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  93. You took the words right out of my brain, Enty.

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  94. Well, she did need to replace Mercy, right? And I know they will be the most attentive parents ever! Kanye will send Kim cute little posts of him and the baby playing for 90 minutes and the world will explode!

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  95. @ libby - LMAO @ allergic!

    Kim is such a narcissist I just can not see her with a kid. At least she can afford a nanny so the poor thing will have someone caring for it.

    I wonder what stupid K name they will saddle the poor thing with?

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  96. @ Barton, so true, he does have that look about him the poor dear.

    I feel like I'm in a nightmare! I guess the end IS near.

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  97. Who says Kanye won't break up with Kim while she's pregnant? Plenty of men have.

    I feel so bad for Khloe, she really wants a baby and here comes along the sister that probably shouldn't ever have kids and she gets pregnant. Kim should give that baby to Khloe because we all know Kim is only gonna see it when it comes to photo ops.

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  98. Anonymous10:41 AM

    I think it is a desperate fame grabbing reach and was not done because she wanted a baby.

    That's the first thing I thought when I heard she was pregnant. This is a desperate attempt to get her picture on blog sites and in tabloids. And more material for the Kartrashian klan's krapp show.

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  99. while i'm certain there's a great fame-whoring motivation behind this, i'm sure kim k. is going to absolutely love her little one. i'm more offended by douchetastic kanye, who thinks himself to be some extraordinary talent, yet auto-tunes his entire way thru live shows bc he can't actually sing OR rap (the pregnancy 'announcement' was particularly cringe-worthy)...and complains when he isn't acknowledged for lame awards. *sigh* and now he's bringing life into the world? really? it's not enough to attack little teen stars (who, regardless of how you may feel about them, never auto-tune) during their award moments, and steal thunder from the NFC East Champs during their moment? go away, asshole. you peaked during the gold digger/jesus wept years... you're averaging only 5k-seater venues and your digital units & physical imprints don't show worthy gains. if jayz couldn't bring you back, you think kim will? #facepalm

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  100. The real story here is that Kim was on the other side of the glory hole.

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  101. That poor kid's face is going to look like Masa Saito.

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  102. The only positive thing I can say is that I'm excited for the evolution of maternity clothes. That's all!

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  103. Don't forget, it's spelled "apokalypse!"

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  104. Anonymous1:04 PM

    Jesus Christ these comments are ROUGH . I'm shocked. especially the women. hope she has a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby

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  105. Sorry I did not read all of the comments, so if I repeat something, sorry. This is Kim's plan to gain sympathy from people, since she obviously has to be aware of the backlash.
    1. Plan for pregnancy. Who hates on moms?
    2. Pull a Beyonce. I'm not saying Beyonce's was fake or real, but I'm sure Kim was aware of those possibilities being around Beyonce and all.
    3. Twitter the hell out of herself and all baby related things. She will not behave as if she completely relates to everything there is to know about motherhood. You know, to make herself more relatable to us common folk.
    4. "Have" a miscarriage at an opportune time. She will gain sympathy from the masses because even if you don't really know if she was truly pregnant, how many will really say something bad then? This is a horrible experience for anyone to experience and I feel bad even suggesting someone would do this, but I'm certain many of you have heard of girls doing this for attention. Kim is their queen.
    5. Kim can start fresh and have a completely new outlook on life and truly "appreciate" what she has.
    I know this may seem mean, but I honestly don't think there is anything this woman won't do for attention.

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  106. @Ingrid Masa Saito? You know of him? Really? I thought I was the only old school wrestling fan here. I think I love you lol

    Plus just think of how much the baby will look like a mix of Abdullah the Butcher and George Steele before it grows hair lol

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  107. Oh hell no. This - this right here - this is the sign of the end of days. Nostradamus knew it would involve an ego and a ho.

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  108. I can see Kanye having temper tantrums over being ignored...and I can see Kim giving her baby away because she is allergic to it. I just want a year without minute by minute postings of everything about this family. Looks like it isn't going to be 2013.

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  109. next attempt to stay relevant. gah, go away already. gah.

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  110. Well, Kanye apparently didn't listen to his own lyrics in "Golddigger".

    18 years.......

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  111. And not a shit was given.

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  112. As much as I hate to say this (we're trying to get pregnant now, 2 miscarriages, but still trying), does anyone think we'll hear about a 'miscarriage' in the near future? No one can possibly think she'll actually be a good mother?! It's all about the PR, and a great excuse for having gained some weight.

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