It should come as no great surprise that Lifetime’s Liz & Dick movie starring Lindsay Lohan is spectacularly bad.
Lohan is woeful as Taylor from start to finish. But, whatever you do, don’t miss Liz & Dick. It’s an instant classic of unintentional hilarity. Drinking games were made for movies like this. And the best part is that it gets worse as it goes on, so in the right company with the right beverages, Liz & Dick could be unbearably hilarious toward the tail end of the 90-minute running time. By the time Lohan is playing mid-’80s Taylor and it looks like a lost Saturday Night Live skit, your body may be cramped by convulsions.
Anyway, on to the parts of the film where people walk and talk. The talking part doesn’t turn out so well for Lohan. There is not one minute in this film where she’s believable.
The only downside to the review is he does not really provide any suggestions to what parts repeat in order to make a great drinking game. If you see someone that has a positive review of the movie it probably means that Lindsay owes them money; it is their first day on the job; their cousin is a drug dealer and don't want to lose out on business; or it's Dina pretending to be a reviewer.
What the heck is wrong with her lips in this pic??
ReplyDeleteI've seen some ugly pictures of her but this one is the worst.
ReplyDeleteI'd be tempted to watch this trainwreck but it's on at the same time as some GOOD TV. Boardwalk Empire, Walking Dead, Masterpiece Theater, Dexter, Homeland.......I'll catch this on the umpteenth rerun.
Oh, ya gotta dvr it, u just gotta!!! Im expecting hilarity start to finish!!!!!
DeleteUm, that pic is Photoshopped...right? Right?
ReplyDeleteEnty always manages to find the BEST photos of Lilo to accompany his articles. That one is classic.
ReplyDeleteSusanB, I'm with you...too much quality TV on to watch this on its first run, but I'll definitely DVR it. You know Lifetime is going to make a killing off this. People love a good trainwreck.
Jesus. Same reaction to that pic. WTF
ReplyDeleteit feels wrong to be hoping for someone's failure, but i hope everyone shares the rewiewers opinion. i just want to stop seeing and hearing about her and her entire family (new half sibling included).
ReplyDeleteThis review makes me want to watch it. And wished that I still drank.
ReplyDeleteDrinking rules by skill level for the Liz & Dick movie.
ReplyDeleteNovice: Take a drink every commercial.
Beginner: Take a drink every scene Burton and Taylor DON'T fight.
Journeyman: Take a drink every scene Burton and Taylor DO fight.
Expert: Take a drink every time Burton or Taylor drinks.
Master: Take a drink every time Lohan looks ridiculous.
sillylittlefreak: love your suggestions, but based on that particular review, it's sounding as if the master might just need to have a beer bong w/a continuous stream set up, which would probably leave them dead of alcohol poisoning before the halfway point.
ReplyDeleteNot going to bother with it--I have better things to watch on TV or read online/in real books, etc. Why waste my time?
I just hope they did something in post editing to make her voice not sound like a 100 year old with a voice kazoo the raspiness from all the drugs and smoking while having Asthma just destroyed her voice, um which you kinda need as an actress.
ReplyDeleteTo stay in her world of delusion she already said she has a no review policy, I mean why face real life if you don't have to.
But I admit, I will watch it, every time I hear her voice crack Im gonna take a shot.
Since I don't drink, I'll have to play a toking game along with this masterpiece. She is so puffy in the previews, its distracting.
ReplyDeleteYou can't keep a good ho down! Make that money bitch! She's just marketing herself to her worldwide client base.
ReplyDeleteAnd Enty, dear Enty, Let's just call a spade a spade as they say from Austen Texas to Monte Karlo. Don't worry about hating her, she's going to make her own bed, I do wish she'd get it together, but it's up to her, just like vintage RDJ, it has to start with them.
Yes the pic is photoshopped into an old classic Liz shot, and her lips and cheeks look that way from having space foam and asbestos injected into them every week.
ReplyDeleteLOL @Carmelitelady "space foam"
ReplyDeleteevery time her lips look extra injected i'm gonna take a shot.
YESSS! I will do whatever it takes to see this craptacular movie, even if it means sleeping with my neighbor in exchange for two hours of cable.
ReplyDeleteOh Madlyb, unless your neighbor is hot and you need an excuse, Liho just ain't worth compromising yourself.
DeleteEnty should post a live blog thread so we can all guffaw over her awful performance and all get shit faced drunk calling SHOTS!
ReplyDeleteSterling idea!!!!!!
Deletetake one for the team @Madlyb we gotta discuss this
ReplyDeleteSadly someone else will hire her...
ReplyDeleteThe sober people can take a drink every time Lindsay has a great scene...still sober!! BAM
ReplyDeleteSo, do we think that Lifetime made this craptastic movie on purpose, just for the ratings? I mean, surely they didn't think they were really hiring her to do a classy acting job. I just don't even know what they were thinking...
ReplyDeleteWhen is this mess on? I have to see it.
ReplyDeletePure stunt casting, she brings tons of free press for the wrong reason, but free press is free press. Megan Fox was pregnant so she was out, and the material was probably laughable even to her. Lindsay will work cheap, because she will steal everything that isn't nailed down. And Lindsay is so delusional she sees herself on the same level as La Liz.
ReplyDeleteIt's a perfect storm of stupid.
November 25 @9pm EST
ReplyDeleteDO NOT MISS IT!
If I'm right on the timing, I'll be at work when this gem premieres.
ReplyDeleteHowever, that only means that one of the supervisors will have it playing on the big screen.
So there will be no avoiding it.
Say a prayer for those poor souls who're destined to be subjected not only to Blohan's performance, but to my scathing commentary.
I promise to repeat some of my better zingers.
I think she got bulimia, that's why she's so puffy. That combined with cokebloat and alcohol swelling.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, I wont watch the movie.
www.planethiltron.com
ReplyDeleteHe does great work and the pics are awesome!!!
It's a lifetime movie. I'm not sure what everyone was expecting in the first place. It will probably be just as cheesy and entertaining as any of the other million lifetime movies. Lindsay is a drunken, thievin' whore. I still like to see what she is up to. Sometimes I think she is crazy and sometimes I think she's a bitch, Sometimes I feel sorry for her. She will never happy and that's a shame. She never had a chance.
ReplyDeleteThis is going to become a new Thanksgiving tradition in my house! What else are you gonna do when the fam is driving you crazy? Liz and Dick drinking game = hours of deflection from your real world woes! Thanks @sillylittlefreak for making up the rules :)
ReplyDeleteLOL carmelitelady. Space foam FTW!!!
Who wants to guess what White Oprahs reaction to the review will be? No doubt she'll say he is new and doesn't know what he's doing. Oh no, there will be no owning up to the crap she's produced on her way to an Oscar. *snort*
ReplyDeleteOn a high note I'll be at Blanc Debris Manor where we don't have TV and will miss this "gem" as Merlin so eloquently put it.
That's Sandra Bernhard!
ReplyDeletewoah, baaaaad pic. they should ban this one. that's a lotta look!
ReplyDeleteAre they serious with his picture!?!? If this picture is any indication of what the film will be like it will be awesomely funny!
ReplyDeleteToo bad Football will be on, but I think I will DVR it in the guest room upstairs where I tape all my other crappy shit that my husband would never watch. I'll be looking forward to everyone's insight next Monday though!
These comments are better than the review. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteForgive me if someone already posted this .. but this horror of a pic is a take on this iconic pic of La Liz.
ReplyDeleteAs for the movie and even the review .. I just can't. That whorish piece of trash playing Liz. No. Just. No.
Thanks for the pic Wil.
ReplyDeleteI wish Enty had printed them side by side, its quite the comparison; beauty and the beast.
Her lips are terrible. I can't get past them. I just don't get how celebs think that looks good...at all!
ReplyDeleteThat pic looks like a hilarious parody of the original pic of Liz Taylor. Is it meant to be funny?
ReplyDeleteI read that she REFUSES to read any bad reviews of this movie, because she loved making it, and does not want to "ruin her experience".
ReplyDelete*barfs*
Can't wait to read comments here! Sadly I rarely have cable and cannot forego Dexter and Boardwalk Empire. Keep up the good work!!
ReplyDeleteDef watching this movie! I entirely believe it's going to be epic in cringe-inducing crapiness. I also believe LL can act, but she clearly couldn't be bothered to even attempt acting like ET, based on previews. Still wish for LL to get her life back on track. She's likeable and her parents seem so extremely self-involved and deluded.
ReplyDeleteQuack quack.
ReplyDeleteI read a review that said to drink everytime someone delivers bad news to "Liz"
ReplyDeleteAnd, just knowing Lilo in general i'm gonna take a swig everytime she wears something I think she stole from the set.
I don't know when I'll be able to see it, since I'm not in America, but damn straight I'll be watching it with a litre of vodka! Wonder how long it'll last me ;) an worry not, I live right next to a hospital ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Ms Taylor hate to be called Liz?