You know, when you are on crack, the last thing you probably need is a double shot of espresso. This is probably why Jennifer Piranian, of Florida decided to spend her time in Starbucks masturbating instead. The police were called because the woman would not take her hands out of her pants and was clearly doing something which looked like masturbating. She told police she was waiting for friends because she needed to go to the hospital because of an infection or spider bite. The woman was arrested for masturbating and for being in possession of cocaine.
FLORIDA!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteeek
ReplyDeleteEwwww!!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like this lady knows how to party!
ReplyDeleteWhat else are you supposed to do while you're waiting for your iced americano?
ReplyDeleteLove that.
DeleteThe green tea latte IS very good...
ReplyDeleteLOL Discoflux!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering if Enty would post this, I saw it last Friday.
Geez Florida!!! But there are lunatics and crazy people everywhere.. I refuse to let this ruin my opinion of that beautiful sunny state. I just think Enty loves reporting (ridiculous) things that happen there.
ReplyDeleteFor the most part I love living in Florida. There are people like this in every state. We just don't hear about them.
ReplyDeleteSusanB, it happened in the "other" Fl- Bradenton :)
DeleteLoll I was going to post "ewwww" but others beat me to it!
ReplyDeleteLOL @FSP!!!!
ReplyDeleteEwwww, so she was touching herself and probably had mrsa too?
ReplyDeleteLolllll MRSA!!!!!
DeleteShe was just reaching for the sweetner. She keeps it in her vagine for safe keeping. I was going to say reaching for the sugar but that's me! Gross!
ReplyDelete@agent*it - no, not Bradenton! (Home of the Pirates spring training camp). We're going there in March! Luckily, I don't drink coffee so I won't be going to Starbucks.
ReplyDeleteDamn are the cops cracking down on this crime now bc I'll have to be way more discreet
ReplyDeleteCrap! I hate it when I think of something funnier to say after I've already published a comment. Next time......
ReplyDeleteWas her name Amanda Bynes?
ReplyDeleteAt least it's a woman! I'm glad women are doing equal time for public indecency.
ReplyDeleteShe looks like a gal from taxi cab confessions Las Vegas, who spoke about being a vigin...I have heard lack of sex can make you mean...but never a danger to prepackaged cheese plates and iced mochaccinos!
ReplyDeleteHaaaa, the woman from taxicab confessions!! It does look like her. I felt so bad for her, she seemed so nice. That poor woman needs to go out and have a one night stand haha
ReplyDeletemaybe she was scratching...crack generally has the effect of making one disinterested in sexual contact.
ReplyDeleteI think I've posted this before, but when I first moved to SW Florida, I was told that Fort Myers (near us) was the "witness protection capital" of the nation. As if the area is some mecca for America's Most Wanted captures. And I will admit that it seems most of the unsavory characters on our news, or that we've met through acquaintances, haven't been from here.
ReplyDeleteSo, to be fair, I don't think it's *only* Floridians diddling their nonnies and eating peoples' faces in public. I think it's the whackadoos who migrate from other parts of the country.
Cornbread , Those damn Yankees :)
DeleteOMG, lol! I still love Florida anyway!
ReplyDeleteAw... crackie just can't catch a break.
ReplyDeleteAyiyi.
ReplyDeleteYeah there are crazies everywhere. Though I must admit Florida is the only place I have ever had an honest to goodness "omigod this creeper seriously wants to murder us" feeling. Good times.
Amen, Agent! ;)
ReplyDeletewoah this is tooo much ! you guys crack me up
ReplyDelete