Today's Blind Items - The Embarrassing Mom
All kids are ashamed of their parents at some point. Most of the time there really is not a reason to be, but then again, most of you are not the offspring of this C+ list actress with A- list name recognition from a very hit network television show that has said its final goodbye after a very long run. Our actress typically awakens around noon. She used to attempt to wake up and see her offspring off to school, but gave that up when she no longer had to go to work. Now, she tries to get up before noon after hitting the sack around 10pm. That is a long sleep, but then again you were not drinking for 10 hours straight. Yep. Right when she wakes up she gets a little pick me up going and lights up a cigarette. I love how she is so anti-smoking when she chain smokes in her house. By the time her offspring come home from school, our actress has a good buzz on. If her daughter has brought home friends, sometimes our actress will bother to change out of her robe and into clothes. Otherwise, it is a full on body display for all the children that come over. Not that the boys are complaining. How many times has our actress fallen over a piece of living room furniture and ended up practically naked on the floor and yelling at some maid she fired a few weeks earlier about moving stuff. Our actress has lots of injuries attributable to her drinking. She lost a tooth about a month ago. Cost her a paycheck on a commercial too. Couldn't do it. Was at the dentist. Our actress yells a lot. Randomly. To no one in particular. Her off spring hate bringing over friends, but what is worse is when there is a birthday party at a friend's house. The parents are so excited to be meeting a huge television star and end up getting a stumbling drunken mess who has been known to eat with her hands an uncut birthday cake. She has also been known for forgetting a present and writing a $1000 check to the birthday boy or girl. Not in a card mind you, but pulls out the checkbook right there and makes a big show of it. Says it all out loud.
Poor Terri Hatcher
ReplyDeleteTeri Hatcher??
ReplyDeleteTeri Hatcher was my first thought, but she only has one child, doesn't she?
ReplyDeleteI think so, Enty has never been quiet about her alcoholism and his disdain for her. Also Teri has a daughter who is about 14 if I am not mistaken.
ReplyDeleteTeri was my only thought as I read this.
ReplyDeleteAre they real, and are they spectacular? Perhaps some teenaged boys can tell us for certain.
ReplyDeleteJust watched that episode the other day. Still so funny.
DeleteI'm usually awful at these, but my only guess reading this was Teri Hatcher.
ReplyDeleteTeri doesn't have a son.
ReplyDeleteOnly mentions offspring and daughter
DeleteI thought she was quite athletic?? A couple years ago, she was training for a tri-atholon or something like that. I guess that could have changed now, but it would be hard to maintain that and still be an alcoholic.
ReplyDeleteThe BI doesn't state she has a son. It states she has a daughter. If the daughter brings home friends who are boys, then they are the ones not complaining about the actress and her clothing.
ReplyDelete"She used to attempt to wake up and see her offspring off to school" sounds like she has more than one child.
ReplyDelete" If her daughter has brought home friends, sometimes our actress will bother to change out of her robe and into clothes. Otherwise, it is a full on body display for all the children that come over. Not that the boys are complaining" sounds like she has a son.
JMO.
"by the time her offspring come home"
ReplyDeleteMakes it sound like there is more than one child...but Enty could have left off the 's'.
Aw my mom would be so proud to have so much in common with a tv star!
ReplyDeleteI thought Teri too, but if she's the answer to that blind the other day about her having a new boyfriend, isn't this blind a little much along with that?
ReplyDeletemom????
ReplyDeleteI don't think this is Teri Hatcher - the blind is pretty clear about the actress having more than one kid. What other shows ended last year after a long time on the air? House?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I feel like the anti-smoking thing is a big clue.
heather locklear
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't say she doesn't have a son, either. "Offspring" is used, which could mean any number of children and any combination of gender. THEN, a daughter is specifically referred to. This person could have just one child who is female, or sons and one daughter, or more than one daughter, with just the one daughter bringing friends home.
ReplyDeleteAll that being said, I can't think of anyone but Teri.
I've found some quotes about Teri and anti-smoking. Not that many tho. I agree the plural is confusing, but that may be Enty making a grammatical mistake or throwing us off. Cause this does sound like Teri.
ReplyDeleteI only thought of Teri when I was reading it.
ReplyDeleteFirst thought was Heather Locklear but I'm probably wrong. Heather only has one kid and this does make it sound like she has 2.
ReplyDeleteTeri Hatcher to me is more of a B-list actress.
ReplyDeleteI feel like the phrase "final goodbye" is a clue. The only TV shows I've found so far with that title are 70s Show and 90210, and I can't quickly think of an actress that would qualify (Jennie Garth? is she a C lister?)
Pretty sure this is Teri Hatcher. The show just ended, and offspring can refer to one kid or multiple kids. I don't see any mention of a son. The rest of the DH cast who are mothers all have younger kids, I believe Teri's girl is in her early teens.
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was Patricia Heaton.
ReplyDeleteShe still has a tv show.
DeleteI was googling actresses with connections to lung cancer because of the no smoking clue. First page of results had a story about the old lady from Desperate Housewives who died of lung cancer. ?
ReplyDeleteStill not totally sold it's Teri, but there's that.
Heaton has 4 boys. No daughters.
ReplyDeleteOffspring is both singular and plural so it could be just one kid.
ReplyDeleteCritic beat me to it - the plural of offspring is offspring, so there could only be one child in this story.
ReplyDeleteI think it's Teri Hatcher. She's the only single mom who comes to mind whose show just ended.
Ha! I would love this to be about Patricia Heaton but she's currently on a show.
ReplyDeleteJeesh its not more than one kid. Offspring is singular and offsprings is plural. Enty probably wanted to use a different word instead if child\dren or kid\s. Its terri.
ReplyDelete"By the time her offspring come home from school"
ReplyDeleteCome= multiple children
Comes= one child.
This woman has more than one kid.
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ReplyDeleteI also think it's Teri, and agree that it really sounds like just one child.
ReplyDeleteThis also fits with the scornful way Enty and other bloggers have written about Teri after the end of DH. It's like the producers tried to keep her reputation under wraps till the show was over.
If this is Teri, Superman needs to come rescue that mess.
ReplyDeletebflo beat me to it.
ReplyDeletesame thing with "Her off spring HATE bringing over friends"
it's all about the verb.. if referring to singular offspring it should technically be "HATES bringing over"
however that doesnt mean enty wouldnt try to fudge the clues a bit.
enty could also just suck at grammar :p
I don't see that it's necessarily more than one child. I see where it could be either.
ReplyDeleteI'm on the Terri Hatcher train.
I like that everyone is focused on proper grammar, but let's face it - Enty isn't exactly the Emily Post of proper speaking. And yes, offspring can refer to one, or multiple, children.
ReplyDeleteIf this is Teri Hatcher, I feel nothing but sorry for her. Oh, and disgusted. Take care of your kid, whoever you are! (haha, let the "whoever / whomever" debate begin! hee!)
English lesson: Offspring can be singular or plural. Yes, "offsprings" is a word but it is also completely acceptable to use "offspring" when referring to more than one child. Bflogurl is right about the wording of "her offspring come home" referring to multiple children or it would be "came home"; however, Enty is not always grammatically correct so I wouldn't base my guess on that word alone. If you take this blind at face value and assume that everything is grammatically correct, it does refer to multiple children as indicated by the usage of "come" home and also the line about the daughter followed by "otherwise" which would refer to a different child bringing home friends. But again, Enty has been known to abuse the English language so I wouldn't put too much stock in semantics.
ReplyDeletePam Anderson?
ReplyDeleteYes it's not offspring that's the problem, it's the verbs which are clearly plural.
ReplyDeleteAnd again, Enty is not Mr. Grammar. :)
Verb conjugation isn't that obvious if you're a native English speaker who hasn't learned another language.
ReplyDeleteThe "s" or lack thereof is the key. It's only used for 3rd person singular (he/she/it).
I come, you come, he comes, we come, y'all come, they come.
I hate, you hate, she hates, we hate, you guys hate, they hate.
Offspring may be both singular & plutral, but as more than one person has pointed out? The verbs are in the plural tense. More than one offspring.
Any Scientology moms from recently off-air shows? They reportedly frown on smoking, right?
Offsprings? Son?
ReplyDeleteWow, we have some bright ones here today!
BTW, Philly. Correcting people with incorrect rubbish is not helping your case in the slightest.
Philip Themholes- we apparently have some jerks too!
ReplyDeleteUm, Philly's post is spot on. *scritches head*
ReplyDeleteI'm flying Pam-Candian airlines on this one.
ReplyDeleteThey could write the check right here and shove it in my mouth, I'd be fine with it!
ReplyDeletePhilip Themholes,
ReplyDeleteDon't be a dick about it when you're the one who doesn't know what they're talking about. Google Merriam-Webster dictionary's definition of offspring if you don't think offsprings is a word. And leave PhillyGirl alone. She's smarter than you are.
@Skor - Your interpretation would mean that the son(s)don't mind seeing their mom naked and that is just damn creepy.
ReplyDeleteVanessa Williams? Janice Dickinson?? (Does Dana Delaney have kids?!) Janice has been blitzed picking up her daughter before (who just headed off to college this year). I agree that this blind is about someone with at least two kids, one of whom is a girl. That rules out Pam Anderson and Patricia Heaton. Offspring can be plural, and Enty uses the plural verbs when he uses the term. Regardless, this is really sad. I hope the hosting birthday party parents didn't let her drive home drunk with the children in the car. Forget gossiping about it and just call the police!
ReplyDeleteKirstie Ally
ReplyDeleteI had no idea Teri was a drinker. I know she wasn't well liked, so maybe the drinking is why.
ReplyDeleteHow old is Heather Locklear's child?
ReplyDeleteSounds like Teri.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as the offspring....to me it just seemed like the big E was trying very, very hard not to give away the number of children, which I believe to be only one, and it came off how it was meant...Confusing! :)
Lol @Frufra.
ReplyDeleteRecently cancelled popular, longish-running network shows: Desperate Housewives, House, CSI: Miami, Medium.
ReplyDeleteMy best guesses: Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, Kim Delaney
Okay here's a list of all the network shows canceled recently: http://tvnews.pazsaz.com/cancel11.html#.UHXr4xgkokc
ReplyDeleteI'm new here so assuming "network" means non-cable, my guess is Teri Hatcher.
But if he is including Showtime in this, I guess Mary Louise Parker (2 kids: 1 boy, 1 girl). Though I would be so sad *sniff sniff*
Totally Teri Hatcher. Offspring can be singular, he only mentions the daughter, everything else fits as well.
ReplyDeleteSuch a shame too, I really liked her in Spy Kids.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLmao....some of u r so deliciously bitchy! ;-)
ReplyDeleteUmm...if it was singular it would be "comes."
ReplyDeleteHer offspring come home. <- plural
Her offspring comes home. <- singular
"Came" would refer to singular /or/ plural.
Sorry, dingbat, but you're either confused, or not as in love with English as you seem to think.
Not that any of this matters, though. We all know Enty can't even get then/than correct.
Offspring does not have to be plural.
ReplyDeleteOffspring does not have to be plural.
ReplyDeleteOffspring does not have to be plural.
ReplyDeleteOffspring does not have to be plural.
ReplyDeleteNot Pammy. She only has sons.
ReplyDeleteLong time lurker, first time commenting. Hate to suggest this, but Patricia Arquette could fit the clues.
ReplyDeleteWasn't Marcia Cross an alcoholic, or am i confusing her with her DH housewives character?
ReplyDeleteBtw, the 'the boys don't mind' makes me think she has kids who are a bit older, like 10-15. a 5 year old wouldn't be that interested in boobies hanging out. More thinking of puberty-age.
ReplyDeleteRight now I am thinking Heather Locklear, she has a daughter.
Also thinking Kelly Rutherford, but her kids are pretty young. Didn't she lose custody for unanswered reasons?
ReplyDeleteGossipGirl hasn't ended yet on tv, but think they are done filming.
At the same time the blind doesn't say when the tvshow ended, could be 10 years ago -.-
Pamela Anderson has more than one son, I think that it is her. She was on Baywatch for six years.
ReplyDeleteLara Flynn Boyle or Teri Hatcher.
ReplyDeleteKirstie Alley. She has a girl and a boy. She was on Cheers. Kirstie Alley.
ReplyDeleteI love Patricia Arquette, but this could be her. She also has two children, grammar fans!
ReplyDeleteAccording to IMDb patricia arquette seems to be filming a movie so it doesn't sound like her and isn't Kristie Alley on DWTS?
ReplyDeleteLooks like Teri Hatcher has also been filming more than just commercials according to IMDb (some movie and tv series). I don't think it's her.
ReplyDelete