Apparently Nelly would like to think that all of us are idiots. For the 300 millionth time, a tour bus was pulled over in Sierra Blanca, Texas and for the 299 millionth time, drugs were found. I still can't believe how many people bring drugs through this checkpoint. Or try too. Usually, like with Fiona Apple it is just a tiny amount of drugs, but with Nelly and his group, there were a ton of drugs. Police found 10 pounds of pot. 10 pounds. That is enough for an entire tour as long as your name is not Snoop. Police also found heroin which is going to make life miserable for the person who took the fall for all of this. Guns too, but in Texas you can pretty much do whatever you want with guns, so, I'm not sure how that would even be a crime. Nelly said yesterday that he had no idea there were any drugs or guns on the bus. Yeah, because on a tiny tour bus, guns and ten pounds of pot are easy to hide and to keep others from knowing about. Didn't he wonder where the eternity bong kept getting its refills from? He is such an idiot. Most of the time, the singer takes the fall for the team on these things, but in this case, Nelly said eff that, that is what I pay these people for.
Don't mess with Texas.
ReplyDeleteI think pot should be legal, but I don't feel bad for all these people that all get busted at the same place. Seems more like a "moron tax" to me than anything else...
ReplyDeletePeople are still paying to see Nelly perform? That should be the bigger story.
ReplyDeleteHaha CB! Loving your new avi pic!
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday CDaN Peeps. Glad this week is OVER!!!
When can we start adult beverages ;)
Thanks Dia! I get to spend all next week babysitting her :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday everyone!
Little baby time is the best time! Enjoy :D
ReplyDeleteI was so busy this week! Real life keeps encrouching on my CDaN (addiction) time ;)
There was 1 gun. Not *guns*.
ReplyDeleteDoes Nelly remind anyone else of the old show "Dinosaurs"? Every time I see his pic all I think of is "Not the momma, not the momma." oh and "I'm the baby got to love me."
What was found was way more than personal use.
ReplyDeleteThey can probably get the guy on distribution charges depending on the laws down there (in certain states if you have above a certain amount you are automatically attempting to distribute)
The amount of marijuana found was the size of a pillow. Who would just casually being that on a bus?
Whatever. However much time this guy gets, Nelly's check better be worth it
Yeah, they'll hit whoever with intent to distribute.
ReplyDeleteListen up, dummies: there are Border Patrol checkpoints in South Texas. Google it if you want a handy list. They have agents with dogs on duty 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you're too stupid to be a clever smuggler (and tons of dope gets through the checkpoints, obviously), ditch your stash before you get to the checkpoint.
Why do these people have tour managers if they don't handle this stuff? That seems like Tour Management 101 to me. Duh.
Maybe I'm just bitter, because as a white women driving a minivan, I never got a second glance at the checkpoint. It was so disappointing :-(.
Ok, should amend to say: checkpoints are along the Texas/Mexico border. Sierra Blanca is in West Texas.
ReplyDeleteMy personal checkpoint experience is in South Texas.
@Dia- I'll get started on the Mimosas
ReplyDeleteEntry where do I get one of these ethernity bongs that you speak of? How do you not know there's 10lbs of pot on the bus, is he blind with no sense of smell?
eternity, ugh need coffee
DeleteHe sets off my gaydar.
ReplyDeleteFrufra- You probably didn't have enough crazy in your eyes! Try again on Halloween wearing a Dina OR Lindsay mask. See what happens then!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy do all these tour buses have to go through Sierra Blanca? Just take another road.
ReplyDeleteAlso, please fix the ad issues, this is getting close to intolerable. Thanks.
Was Nelly really there to perform to a paying crowd because I'd have to suspend belief to even consider that someone wants to hear 'Hot In Herre' and 'Over & Over Again' in 2012.
ReplyDeleteKewi - Mmmm. Mimosas!!!!
ReplyDeleteBrunch is an acceptable drinking time right? Irish coffee anyone? It just got cold here and I'm in denial. Also trying not to be a bitch about summer ending. But I'm really pissed off about.
Anyone in SoCal or SoFlo wanna sponsor me for the winter?
Ten pounds of pot in a confined space would STINK. The cops surely didn't even need dogs to find it.
ReplyDeleteWhat idiots. They've got to know how much cops love busting people for drugs. ESPECIALLY IN THAT AREA. sheesh. Ten pounds? On a frickin' tour bus? They may as well have had a big neon pot leaf as a hood ornament.
@Angus - that's the beauty of these checkpoints. They're placed in rural areas on literally the only road from point A to point B. Sierra Blanca is on I-10, a major east/west highway. Re routing would require planning WAY ahead, and obviously these chuckleheads aren't good at making a plan.
ReplyDeleteOh, and FYI, an arrest at these checkpoints is Federal, not local. And Federal time is straight time, folks. No getting out early for acting nice or cause the jail's overcrowded. Again, Tour Manager 101 shit.
ReplyDeletehow nice of him to have a plan in place in case they did get caught, they probably drew straws to see who would take alllll the blame and that guy came up short, hope nelly pays for his legal fees and other shit he kinda owes him.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest surprise to me in all of this is that Nelly is still touring.
ReplyDeleteCan someone explain these checkpoints to me? Do they randomly choose a passing vehicle or does everyone have to stop? I'm imagining one hell of a traffic jam.
ReplyDelete@dia- totally acceptable as long as nobody gets shit faced otherwise Lindsay Lohan might try to send us to rehab
ReplyDelete@chop- I was wondering the same thing, Frufra please enlighten us smarty pants :)
Smh at the heroine...I would have never thought Nelly
ReplyDeleteGladly :-).
ReplyDeleteEvery car has to stop. Sometimes they'll have multIple lanes open, though. Bear in mind that we're talking really rural areas. It's not like checking every vehicle on a busy freeway or something. However, I've waited 30 or more minutes to get through the checkpoint at Sarita, Tx. I used to travel frequently between the lower Rio Grande Valley and San Antonio.
If you've ever driven to South Padre Island (major Spring Break destination), you've gone through Sarita. There are no other roads you can use to get there. The highway (77) is bordered on both sides by the King Ranch. Texas, y'all :-).
Thanks for encouraging my rambling - fun fun!
while you guys are talking about checkpoints, i'm gonna bring up a blind from 2011 about a rapper who does Heroin.
ReplyDeletedid we just get an answer to that??
I used to pass through the one north of El Paso going into New Mexico quite a bit and never had my vehicle searched.
ReplyDeleteIt would be at 10 - 11 PM with me alone in a rental car. They must be really good at judging who to search or white guys with short hair, glasses and a tie get a pass.
@frufra- sounds simple enough, thank you!
ReplyDeleteI never got searched, either, .robert. I'm so white and nerdy :-(.
ReplyDelete@Frufra - hey, it's a sweet deal being a (young) middle-aged white woman driving a minivan! They NEVER think you're carrying weed. Quit pointing it out for all to learn!
ReplyDeleteCee - got a lucrative business going or what? There is money to be made, darling. No doubt about it :-).
ReplyDeleteHis workout regimen appears to be working.
ReplyDelete@Frufa
ReplyDeleteAll those years at Christian schools make me feel guilty about everything, so I still sweat driving through the San Diego/LA checkpoint. And all I'm packin are juice boxes and goldfish crackers
P.S. When did I become the person that gets jealous of folks with a minivan? Every time I try to get my kids in and out of my 4Runner I want to punch myself in the face :/
It took me awhile to get used to being a 30yo driving a minivan. I cried the day I traded in my Durango and still miss it but its nice no kids screaming one of the others kicked them on the head climbing into the back. Plus the mini is a little better on gas.
ReplyDelete@Sunny and bobbi -
ReplyDeleteMinivans are hideous, UNTIL you have more than one kid in a carseat. Then, the minivan starts to make all the sense in the world. No more wrestling a kid into a carseat in the back seat of your sedan, with your ass sticking up in the air awkwardly. Just thinking about it makes me start sweating.
Your life (and possibly your vehicle choice) will change when los niños can get in and buckle up by themselves. Until then, van it up, baby!! And, go ahead, get the one with all the tv screens and shit :-).
True 'dat, Fru!
DeleteI wonder if the searching cop said "I smell some pot in herrrrre..."
ReplyDeleteWah-whamp...I couldn't resist.
*going back to my lair now*
Well, Nelly is taking off all his clothes...
ReplyDeleteNelly still has a tour bus? I'm more shocked by that than any thing.
ReplyDeleteIf you are in a band you must assume that you will be searched when crossing borders. Tour buses and band vans ALWAYS get stopped at checkpoints nowadays.
ReplyDeleteLast night Frightened Rabbit (a Scottish indie band a handful of you might know, but I'd expect most to not) played here in Chicago last night. The singer told how they'd crossed the Canadian border earlier yesterday and neglected to declare $28K in cash which was then confiscated. Dumb move.
A dog's sense of smell is 100,000 to 100 MILLION times greater than a human's and a teeny 1/8 of pot can stink up an 800 sf home. How anyone would think that 10lbs of pot would not be detected is an absolute idiot.
Nelly is not just stupid (and corny and untalented), he also sounds like a prick.
@ Frufra - I got stopped at a check point on I-10 in, I think, New Mexico. They just asked me to state that I was a U.S. citizen. I had my two cats in the car and was afraid the dogs would go nuts, but they didn't even twitch!
ReplyDeleteCount me in as one of the people who has recently begun to actually consider buying a minivan (2nd baby). Of course I am also now envisioning it with a giant neon pot leaf hood ornament. That'll get the 'burb talking!
ReplyDelete@solarpower
ReplyDeleteFirst of all - ha ha about the big weed leaf. Brilliant visual
Second of all, I cannot tell you how much I wished I had the minivan. I have 2 kids in carseats, and made the hasty decision (car-shopping with kids in tow will do that to you) to buy a 4Runner. 2 months after that, we rented a minivan on Maui and I cannot tell you how much easier my life was. I think my ride looks bitchin, but holy hell it's a Pain In The A$$ to get babies in and out of all day.
Min Van = Maxi Love
Proofreading:
ReplyDeleteApparently I CAN tell you. Twice
:)
Sunny, I too get nervous around cops even though I don't do anything. One holiday my hubby and I did an epic drive from Seattle, across the Canadian border to the Capilano suspension bridge and back in one day. Crossing into Canada the guys were lovely, waved us through, have a nice day. Coming back into America, take your sunglasses off (the way it was said freaked me out). When I was asked if I had anything to declare I started rambling - we have fudge in the back and this bottle of coca cola ( which I held up for him to see). We got through fine, but friends of ours had family members who were detained for hours because they back chatted. We are Australian too, so it was a bit weird because normally it is really easy to get around. We found the same when we took the ferry from Seattle to Vancouver Island, when we were boarding the ferry back to Seattle we got the third degree. I thought, you let us on to begin with????
ReplyDelete@feral
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it's not just me! But you just reminded me of my all-time idiotic moment. After a 4month backpacking trip, I flew into L.A from Bali (via Bangkok) by myself. I hadn't slept in 2.5 days, and when I came though customs they looked at my passport and said "Business or Pleasure". I looked stoned out of my mind (from sleep deprivation) and said "Pleasure Baby". They took me to a side room, dumped out every shampoo bottle, lotion bottle etc and went through 5 rolls of developed photos!! Warning to other idiots flying into L.A. Leave your dumbass sense of humor on the plane!!
@Sunny - Ahhh! Did the minivan have automatically sliding doors you can activate from the beeper? Now THAT would be livin' the dream... How easy would it be to get my kiddos plus my box o' wine from Target into the car THEN?!
ReplyDeleteThe brilliant visual was totally c/o Libby upthread. Mad props Libby!
Guy's and gals, this has been the funniest thread I have read in a while. Thank you all for your contribution :)
ReplyDelete@solarpower
ReplyDeleteOhmyGod! I love that boxed Chardonnay from Target!!! And yes, those sliding doors are the bomb diggity.
But in all seriousness, everyone and their damn mother (Ima damn mother) owns a high profile SUV where I live. You think it will accomodate all your baby gear, trikes, camping crap etc but the mini van handles it way better. Also, I have to lift my kids UP and then into the car. It kills my back daily, but the minivan has a lower profile so you are actually bending down to put in the bambinos. If I wouldn't lose a shit ton of money I would trade in my Beast and be livin the dream myself :)
Holy Shit! This has been a funny thread! You guys make me want a minivan! We actually rented one last year for a mega road trip from PDX to LA for movie shoot. It was a bright orange MV we nicknamed Orange Julius. She had sliding doors and was my best friend for 12 days.
ReplyDeleteSunny I would have paid serious $$$ to see you sleep stoned sassing the Customs guys! I was so paranoid in Bangkok that I never left my bag anywhere. No statue of coke carried home by this girlie!
Imagine...
ReplyDeleteFood=brain.
Food+Hollywood=Fat
Brain+Fat=no celebrity. (but delusions that one has hones one's craft in the business)
Celebrity+drugs=no calories.
No calories=no brain.
No brain + no publicist = Lindsay Lohan.
eat.
thank you
(Any pro-ana skanks can sniff smegma)
Ten pounds is a lot of pot. How long we're they plannining on touring? And Texas, again, really, don't celebs talk to each other? This is about the 6th one this year alone. Maybe they should just go around.
ReplyDeleteSounds like intent to distribute..smh
ReplyDelete