Thursday, October 25, 2012

Diddily Piddily Shaken Up In Car Accident

No one wanted medical attention yesterday, but every person involved in the crash which saw Diddy so shaken up that he was forced to lay on the grass for a while did say they were injured. Diddy was being driven by a driver while Diddy looked at himself in the mirror and did his I love myself affirmations when another car tried to make a left turn right in front of Diddy's big Escalade. Not a good idea. Big SUV rammed right into tiny Lexus. I honestly can't believe the person in the Lexus was not really hurt badly. The SUV was crushed. Ambulances came but no one went to the hospital. Diddily Piddily said he would seek his own medical attention which probably involves a team of nurses rubbing him all night long, kind of like Mariah and her 8 hour massages. You didn't know about those? When she can't sleep she hires people to come massage her for 8 hours which she says is as good as sleep.

Posted by ent lawyer at 6:30 AM

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45 comments:

  1. a non a miss6:34 AM

    I saw the thing about Mariah and her massages over at Jezebel. The same article said Ryan Gosling pees while sitting down. The comments were surprising because I guess a lot of guys do that. I always assumed they stood up to pee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. auntliddy8:01 AM

      As long as they make the bowl, im good, standing or sitting, lol

      Delete
  2. discoflux6:39 AM

    I wouldn't want people rubbing me for 8 hours straight. Then again, I don't require an excessive amount of attention and adoration to feel fulfilled as person, either.

    ReplyDelete
  3. katsm07116:42 AM

    I would kill for an eight hour massage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. auntliddy8:07 AM

      As wld i. And its certainly better than taking some sleeping pills and ending naked in a mall in phoniex, mumbling how did i get here? I always say if i won lottery, i wld hv masseuse on call 24/7.

      Delete
  4. Karen6:52 AM

    @rejectedcarebear, I once complimented my fiance on never leaving the seat up and told him how I appreciated it. That's when he floored me by saying that he pees sitting down. When I WTF'd that, he explained that it keeps the toilet cleaner, but he'll pee standing up in public restrooms because it's more sanitary.

    This is the first time I've even admitted that to anyone because I was so embarrassed for him (in case anyone found out).

    ReplyDelete
  5. lifeiscrazy6:54 AM

    My husband is the same way - pees sitting down unless in a public restroom or if he is really in a hurry at home. I was surprised too! Maybe its a lot more common than we women thought

    ReplyDelete
  6. a non a miss6:57 AM

    Karen- I only know of one guy who does that (my boss who tells me shit I do not care to know!) He said his mother would beat him if he made a mess while peeing so he's been peeing that way since he was a kid. My mind was blown..having 3 older brothers and dealing with their messes, I thought all guys stood.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Colleen6:59 AM

    I would also kill for an 8 hour massage.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pip7:00 AM

    Karen, you are on lucky lady! My husband is pretty good about putting the seat down. Unfortunately I still occasionally get a surprise butt bath due to him forgetting.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Roman Holiday7:03 AM

    LOL!!! He so was looking in the mirror at the time of the crash!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Cancan7:18 AM

    Along those lines... I know a guy who stands up to wipe his butt. Is that common? I figured everyone did it while still sitting down. Weird.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. liteNOTSObrite11:47 AM

      Mr. Lite stands to wipe his butt. Lol!

      Delete
  11. seaward7:28 AM

    Add my husband to the list! He says sitting down to pee is more relaxing and comfortable. He sits to pee maybe 50% of the time.

    Cancan, you should see the stand-up-to-wipe threads on Reddit, those guys are SERIOUS about it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Amber7:33 AM

    @rej - my BF pees sitting down when he's tired! Every once in a while, he'll get up at like 6 to pee and FALL ASLEEP ON THE TOILET. I'll be laying there for 20 minutes, trying to figuring out if he's doing a job or not, and finally say something. Hah.

    @Cancan - how does that even work?

    ReplyDelete
  13. a non a miss7:36 AM

    This topic fascinates me some reason and at my second job, I work mostly with guys so I'm going to ask them. Luckily, I'm on friendly terms with my male co-workers and they're mostly as weird as I am so I wont come off as looney.

    ReplyDelete
  14. shauniebear7:38 AM

    I don't think I can love Ryan Gosling anymore..peeing while sitting down is a deal breaker, even for someone as beautimous as him. Sighhhh.....

    ReplyDelete
  15. discoflux7:44 AM

    Mr. Disco frequently pees sitting down because he doesn't want to do heavy lifting every time he goes to the bathroom. *rimshot*

    ReplyDelete
  16. auntliddy8:05 AM

    Think of it this way: wld it change your opinion of jon ham and his amazing technocolor penis if he peed sitting down? Of course not. It doesnt mean anything.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Amber8:08 AM

    LOL auntliddy - I just pictured a ginormous, tie-dyed penis with a rainbow pee stream. THANKS. Hoping I don't get busted laughing by myself :P

    ReplyDelete
  18. auntliddy8:08 AM

    As for diddy, i lol ed at ' he had to lay in the grass ' and refuse med attention. Such an attention whore.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Roman Holiday8:18 AM

    The man peeing sitting down is a total turnoff for me - I don't want to know about it and I definitately dont' want to see it!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. MontanaMarriott8:24 AM

    Actually peeing while sitting for men is common, especially tall men, my ex husband who was 6'6 used to pee sitting down because he felt he would miss the pot if he peed standing up.

    ReplyDelete
  21. SusanB8:42 AM

    Mr. B sits down sometimes too, although I try not to witness him peeing.

    As for massage, I don't like them. I'm funny about who I let touch me.

    ReplyDelete
  22. lazyday6038:59 AM

    I am dying to change the subject, so here goes. The one aspect of this story that I really like is that P Diddlehopper wasn't behind the wheel. If you can afford to pay lawyers, managers & agents half your income, use a tiny sliver of that income to hire a near-do-well family member to drive you around. No more DUI arrests. Did you hear that Bobby Brown? I'm sure every one of these guys has useless hanger-ons everywhere. Put the most sober one to work.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Lucas9:10 AM

    In the "probably TMI" department...a penis is surprisingly unreliable when it comes to hitting the target you think you are aimed at. You only need to piss on your nice wool slacks (or your foot) once to learn that sometimes it pays to sit.

    ReplyDelete
  24. annabella9:11 AM

    honestly, I don't think that its funny to make fun of someone who was in a car accident, especially a bad one like this. yes, even Diddy.

    some idiot rear ended me at a stop sign last year and I was out of work for 6 weeks. taken to hospital by ambulance and in pain for months and months. so, nothing funny about that.

    he was in shock no doubt. give the guy a break.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Robin the Mad Photographer9:24 AM

    Um...I thought everyone stood up to wipe...and why is this suddenly a big deal?

    *scurries away sheepishly*

    ReplyDelete
  26. shauniebear9:38 AM

    @Robin - ditto!! I'm a nurse practitioner, and I never knew about the whole "sit down" situation....anywhooo..

    ReplyDelete
  27. Cornbread9:46 AM

    @Lucas - no such thing as TMI on CDaN. I am fascinated by ladies who can pop a squat outdoors successfully. We love to go hiking, which means being one with nature when you gotta go...and it never fails, I pee in my shoe. Every flippin' time. Nothing like a warm, squishy sock. :/

    People, please don't make me Google "standing up to wipe." Is that really a thing? Really?

    ReplyDelete
  28. FalseProfit9:49 AM

    What kind of man sits to pee? If I'm about to go #2, I still stand to pee, then sit to drop the deuce.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Amber9:56 AM

    @Cornbread - Trying squatting/peeing uphill? Maybe gravity will pull it down and back?

    I am very confused about standing to wipe. Doesn't it make "access" difficult?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Mango10:00 AM

    I'm also shocked and confused by the "standing up to wipe" thing. I recall my nephew doing that when he was a toddler but no. Just...no.

    ReplyDelete
  31. HalleGoLightly10:42 AM

    Larry David pees sitting down, or at least he does on his show.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Robert 10:58 AM

    As far as sitting down to pee...why stand when you can sit?
    I'm laughing at the "butt bath," as well.
    When standing to pee, sometimes that tiny aperture doesn't open all the way (I guess like having dry mouth?) and you find yourself peeing on the wall, the toilet tank and your own foot. Surprise!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Unknown11:26 AM

    I will admit, I pee sitting down. Why? A combination of being tall, having very poor eyesight in the morning and shart preparedness.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Del Riser11:31 AM

    Mr. Del frequently sits to pee, early morning especially. Stands in public restrooms.

    I once knew a fellow who sat down facing the back of the toilet to pee.

    His mom had told him he was making a mess standing, and that he should sit down, so he did still facing the same way!

    Ladies always have your back side facing down hill, and legs spread wide apart to avoid wet shoes/socks. Too much camping as a child.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Melpomene254:45 PM

    This whole "men sitting down to pee" is just another revelation about guys and how they use their penises that blows (probably not true best word to use given the topic.lol) my mind. I just had a friend inform me that when he masturbates, he goes hands-free. Apparently, he grinds (aka humps the floor). My girlfriend who was involved in the convo said her ex used to do the same thing. Weirdness!

    ReplyDelete
  36. feraltart5:00 PM

    I stand to wipe my bottom, I did not know it was a thing. I look at it as more keeping that stuff away from my genitalia. TMI day today. Thanks for the laughs guys, I have had an emotionally violating experience at work - my toiletries was being discussed because I had to go at the same time as the misogynist who works here. Seriously deciding whether to quit. My hubby has been away working, is home today, am going to talk it over with him.

    ReplyDelete
  37. auntliddy8:36 PM

    Well, felt, i dont understand exactly what happened, but if you feel badly about it, im with u!!:)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Amy in MI8:47 PM

    My BFF goes into the stall in public restrooms because he carries his gun and doesn't want others to see it while he stands and pees..then the other day it fell while he was sitting down to pee..thank god no one else was in the bathroom...

    I lean on one buttcheek and wipe...never heard of standing up to wipe - wouldn't you drip some?

    ReplyDelete
  39. doctressjulia12:26 PM

    Who fucking cares if men sit down to pee of not? Oh noes, it is so "emasculating"... /s

    Anything remotely coded feminine is bad because patriarchy.

    My male roomie does it sitting, and it's awesome. No dried old pee around the base of the toilet and no 3AM butt bath, ever.

    ReplyDelete
  40. doctressjulia12:26 PM

    Oh yeah: I'd LOVE an 8 hour massage. Now.

    ReplyDelete
  41. katsm071112:36 PM

    If we are talking about men sitting down, can we also talk about women who hover over public toilet seats because they don't realize that not only is pee sterile but u can cover a seat with toilet paper, but they don't and they leave their splashes of urine all over the seat for the next person to clean up? Most of the time I'm running into a public restroom bc I have to GO and that is just the most disgusting thing to find! That and people who don't shut the lid before they flush. As someone stated (I'm too lazy to scroll sorry) the germs DO fly out even with a low flow toilet and that person said 6 feet but I heard 20 feet! Now where's your toothbrush?

    ReplyDelete

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