Dating Profile
This one comes from a reader who received this gem from someone after reading her OkCupid profile.
Hope all is well. Came across your profile and you seemed like a perfect match for what I am looking for simply because of your beauty. You are the most gorgeous little creature I have ever laid my eyes on. I am also actually seeking a dominant "princess" to pamper and spoil financially. I will do my best to lay out what I hope to offer. I am 25 years old. Have lived in Boston for the last 6 years, just graduated young professional. Consider myself smart and good looking. I am about 5 feet 10 inches. Brown hair and eyes, slim and lean build. I am seeking a dominant girl who would in turn be willing to basically have her own benefactor, no strings attached. I am seeking a Princess, like yourself, to basically serve and pamper, A guy that will pamper and spoil you with no questions asked and a submissive that will expect nothing in return! Maybe you need an "assistant" to take you shopping and buy you a pretty skirt, to buy you some sexy sandals, fetch your coffee from Starbucks, do errands, laundry, etc. I could be like a financial benefactor for you. No strings attached nothing sexual! I am totally serious about this! LOL LOL The reason I am messaging you is cuz you have that sexy and beautiful look that could make me go totally weak. You're sparkly with how pretty you are. Its just a tough thing to find casually so I figured Id find someone on here who might be interested. I just seek the right Princess with the right bitchy bratty mindset. Maybe you need your own chauffeur to drive you around. Someone to buy you a pretty outfit for you to wear out and party lol. You can tell me to get lost if you get bored with me or are done using me at any point. Id be happy to serve even if you want to date other guys or have a bf! I could help you shop and get dressed for your dates lol. Yes I am real and serious about this arrangement. Not looking for a "nice" girl or a friend, looking for a total dominant and in charge bratty good looking girl who will make me finance her bratty princess lifestyle, spoil her, pay her, and take her shopping lol Trust me I am not some weirdo, just thought OK cupid make it easier to find a girl for such an arrangement. Im actually a successful, smart, good looking 25 year old guy in Boston, can exchange pics if interested in having such an arrangement.
I have actually had an arrangement like this with a cute girl like yourself once before. She wasn't as gorgeous a creature as you. My "servitude" included a lot of the things that I have mentioned. I would do chores, errands, shopping, doing laundry, organizing her shoe closet. She had a boyfriend, I just helped her in this capacity. Accompany her shopping, holding her bags while shopped or putting sunscreen on her at the beach while she soaked up the sun. Doing her nail polish chauffeuring her around. It was just more of a Princess/Sub relationship than anything else. I would be her outfit tester when she would go out with her boyfriend! She would make me pay for her to go on dates with her boyfriend, on my tab. And she would make me take her to victorias secret to buy her lingerie when she had dates lol I am being totally serious. Nothing having to do with being a boyfriend! More of a nsa arrangement which is what I seek now.
Let me know what you think. I am serious about having such an arrangement. About me again: I am 25 years old living in Boston. Recently graduated and working in the city. I keep a car here so logistics hopefully will work out. I am not an ugly 40 year old dude lol. I consider myself good looking but am just searching for a dominant girl to serve lol. I understand and respect the desire for discretion. I am open to ideas you might have. Feel free to reply with any questions you might have. I look forward to hearing back. I am just hoping for a chance!! Would be glad to exchange pics if you are interested. Will be checking email regularly, so let me know! Thanks!
Oh, what I could do with a sub like you!
ReplyDeleteWHERE DO I SIGN
ReplyDeleteAssuming he's not in a more traditional relationship with another woman, he sounds like a real catch! Wish he had been around when I was young and pretty!
ReplyDeleteThis guy sounds great.
ReplyDeleteAmen, @SusanB! I lived in Boston for five years. I would have loved to have him back then!
ReplyDeleteI get the vibe that he would murder me in my sleep.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! Or keep you in some underground dungeon!!
DeleteYeah, my inner voice was crying out, "it's a trap!!"
DeleteWas interrupted before I could finish - hope Enty isn't trying to make this guy look like a creep. Being a submissive male is perfectly acceptable as long as everyone is consenting. They are fabulous partners. He's honest and upfront. As I said earlier, as long he's not in another relationship as well.
ReplyDeletei would reply, "Ok bitch, send me 10000 and we'll talk".
ReplyDeleteLol yaaaaas
DeleteI don't think he said lol enough.
ReplyDeleteI think this is called friendzone level: 500
OMG!!! I think I work with this guy!!! This is going to be awkward now.......
ReplyDeleteI want this. I don't mind hanging out with someone who might creep me out a little for free clothing and chores. I'm not mean, but I can be a bitch if that's what he likes.
ReplyDeleteBoston guy...L-O-L-A...call me!
ReplyDeleteIf this is real, it seems like this guy might have some mommy issues.
ReplyDelete@Roman Holiday, if you DO work with him, start treating him like absolute crap. Maybe you'll get a new car.
ReplyDeleteI admit, I was a little surprised to see he attached a picture. Usually these guys want to be very discreet. They also tend to be very "type A" in regular life.
ReplyDeletelol @karen
ReplyDeleteHey -- if what he is saying is true -- sign me up. I would love to get pain for being a b**** instead of doing it for free!
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding me that people would actually want this????
ReplyDeleteI WANT...I WANT!!!! I'm moving back to Boston.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of commanding him to move in with my BF and I and help pay rent. There's a new chair I'm dying to get, so this arrangement would be perfect.
ReplyDelete@Roman - PLEASE tell me you work with him. Try to get an incognito pic!
ReplyDeleteOh, to be 20..something years younger.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering how long it would be until someone said they thought they worked with him. Hysterical.
ReplyDeleteI met my husband on okcupid (we called it okstupid). Always avoid matches that are less than 80%. Think of it like a GPA.
I'd love to see this letter submitted to Statement Analysis. I see red flags everywhere. (And no, it has nothing to do with the dom/sub thing.)
ReplyDeleteSUZZIQUE...lmao! pERFECT! Tho I too think maybe he shouldn't have a key in case he decides to murder me. LOL
ReplyDeleteI think it would be wrong to out this guy. He's not suggesting anything immoral or illegal. It would be like outing someone who is gay and doesn't people to know.
ReplyDeleteI would do this, but no, you will NEVER know my home address. I hate shopping for clothes, but this guy would make it semi bearable. But he would be a lousy personal trainer.
ReplyDeleteHey, can he move to Dallas. I need a roomate/maid/slave/personal shopper/chef. Am pretty/have handcuffs and whips. I will walk you like the filthy little dog you are, and make you lick my floor to a sparking shine if you buy me five inch fu heels....
ReplyDeleteHe just realized he's gay and is curious about becoming a transvestite so he is really trying to hire a woman to teach him how to be a proper woman and won't get laughed at anymore like the ONE time he tried to dress himself as a woman and went out clubbing.
ReplyDeleteThe guy in the pi is very very smart. He realized by holding his arms in that wicked cool badass pose that shows he's tough, he could skip cleaning his childhood bedroom in his parents house bc his hands cover at least 70% of the garbage in the background. Maybe even 75% bc his badass fingers stretched to maximum potential bc he's been getting ripped at the gym and can now lift almost double his body weight.
I just blew up the pic on my pc and I'm almost positive that I can see a digitally altered version of the Lara Croft Tomb Raider game in the reflection in his glasses where Lara is naked.
ReplyDeleteWHERE'S HIS PINKY???? IS HE MISSING A FINGER????
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness I hope this isn't the real photo with the message. How mortifying it'd be to find your originally private message with your photo on a public website for people to ridicule. Makes me a little squeamish.
ReplyDeleteLOL@ Karen!!!
ReplyDeleteAmber sorry, but I cannot out him - like someone above said "it would be like outing someone that is gay"! If this is the guy I work with - I think I will have my boss walk me to my car everyday now - creepy.......
@Karen too funny.
ReplyDeleteHe really had me going until I looked closely at that picture. Creep-o-rama.
Dude, clean your room.
what Kelsey said
ReplyDeleteI think that is meant to be a "representative" picture, posted by enty as an example of what Boston guy might look like.
ReplyDeleteMy thought, as well.
DeleteI think it is cruel to post this.
ReplyDeleteWhere in the hell do I sign?? I want a Sugga daddy like this guy!!
ReplyDeleteI'm really not seeing anything wrong with this. In fact, all the dating profile "horror" stories lately really haven't been that bad. I think it reflects worse on the people submitting these.
ReplyDeleteI get that this is an entertainment website, but this isn't entertaining. I think it's actually kind of cruel of people to submit these so we can all have a laugh at ... what? Guys who are looking for relationships and who are upfront about their quirks and kinks? Honestly Enty, this is scraping the bottom of the barrel.
I too hope this is not him because 'outing' him would be bad.
ReplyDeleteBut holy hell, if only I lived in Boston. I can be a mean, wicked monster and I totally need someone to drive me around and pay for clothes! I have one pair of shoes, you know I need help! And I can date other men? This seems too good to be true.
Remember years ago in NYC placing an ad to sell something and got 2 responses from guys who wanted to be my 'houseboy'.
ReplyDeleteSecond one of these posted by Enty that makes me go, "Seriously - he's not like you but wtf with the judgment?"
ReplyDeleteDamn, yo. Some people get off differently.
Agreed , Maximus. Really hope this isn't his actual pic.
DeleteIt would be boring if we all were alike. I have no problems with the dude.
I knew a gay male couple who had a situation like this with a third guy, who basically would just come over to clean their apartment and do other chores for them. That's it. He wasn't scary or anything, he just got off on being someone's slave for part of the day. I think this guy seems okay.
ReplyDeleteAll u "smart" opportunistic ladies saying "I'd call him!" don't even realize that this is a trick pimps use to sucker girls into prostitution. We SHOULD make fun of this loser either way. Douchebags need to get outed more often.
ReplyDelete@kats - if he needs a spare finger, Chickadee's baby has an extra!!
ReplyDelete@amber see but I think he HAS a pinky, he's just ashamed of it. If u look closely u can see that he's trained his huge badass muscles to bend the pinky all the way back out of our mere mortal range of vision. He treats that pinky like Arnold treats the housekeepers son. LIKE IT NEVER EXISTED AND IT DOESN'T CONTAIN HIS DNA.
DeleteAs a tired mom of two, YES I WOULD SIGN UP FOR THIS! Lol
ReplyDeleteAnd seriously Roman, we need a pic please!!!
Dude should be posting on Alt.com He'll have much better luck finding someone.
ReplyDeleteForget this guy. I'm now more interested in hearing about these handcuffs and whips Kimberly has. LoL.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why these dating response posts are even worthy of posting. they just are not interesting in the slightest. newsflash: there are alot of people who like to be dominated. its not news. he's just searching in the wrong place.
ReplyDelete@ Kimberly - they are F Me heels - not F u heels. Just wanted to clarify:)
ReplyDeleteHaha maybe in Kimberly's case they really are F-U heels though!
ReplyDeleteSomeone should set him up with the reader that schooled on politics in the last Dating Profile post.
ReplyDeleteHe wants to get me coffee, buy me a skirt AND let me be a bitch? I'm fighting y'all for a spot in line!!!
ReplyDeleteIgnore the judgement, dude. do your thing.
ReplyDeleteHe sounds perfect.
ReplyDeleteNot all subs are a great catch. TRUST me.
ReplyDeleteAnd add me to the folks who find this dating-profile-outing kind of cruel.
I know! Get a life!
ReplyDeleteSeriously...someone to pay my bills and run my errands???
ReplyDeleteI don't know who was funnier, Donner or Karen but this still sets off some warnings for me. Maybe it was the abundant LOL's. *Shiver*
ReplyDeleteI find this creepy. I don't think I could be mean to someone who pays for everything. I can't believe this is a thing.
ReplyDeleteI would be ok with this, as long as he wasn't too yucky.
ReplyDeleteI've had a few good subs.. They have a tendency to get clingy though.. Otherwise perfectly good house pets!!
ReplyDeleteIf his photo was not on the dating profile, but emailed to our reader, then, yes, this is indeed cruel.
ReplyDeleteI'd totally be up for it.
ReplyDeleteI was completely turned off by the second sentence - "gorgeous little CREATURE" - UGH. I don't know about any of you, but this just has a big DANGER sign all over it.
ReplyDeleteYears ago I *seriously* considered responding to an ad from a guy with a foot fetish. He said he just wanted to rub, suck, fondle feet, etc.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I l-o-v-e to have my feet touched in any way, rub my feet and I'm in heaven. And, I happen to have what may well be the world's most beautiful feet, haha. Seriously, people have said I should be a foot model (is there such a thing?) as they are my one absolutely perfect feature. ;-P
So I was thinking, hmmm, win-win? But when it came down it, I just couldn't do it. But nothing wrong with people who do!
Enty why are you protecting the identity of who sent this to you yet you have no qualms about anyone with Internet access knowing some very personal details about this mans life?
ReplyDeleteWhat's his email again?
ReplyDeleteI can't help but wonder if this guy is only a degree or two away from me/my friends...I run w/a rather geeky crowd overall, and there's more overlap than you'd think w/the altsex community. Then again, I don't necessarily want to know who he is...
ReplyDeleteDude, if you're reading this: Are you looking for a girl, or a woman? If you're looking for a good femdom, she'll want to be referred to as a queen, not a princess; the only women over 18 who get off on being called a "princess" are probably too bratty and immature for even what you're looking for. Also, you might do better finding partners through various online communities based in greater Boston than going through more mundane dating sites; sorry I can't recommend one for you, but I know they're out there. Finally, for a sub, you seem really obsessed w/controlling all the perimeters of a potential relationship, and while it's one thing to know what you're looking for, are you sure you're not just trying to top from the bottom? (It sounds like the old joke: "Mistress, I'll do anything for you!" "OK, clean my apartment!" "Ummmm....") Give the whole business some serious thought, OK? (And hey, if you really want to come clean up my wreck of an apartment, I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement... ;-)
Enough with these stupid dating profiles.
ReplyDeleteOh - to have this guy want a 47 year old chubbette with a shitty attitude.
ReplyDeleteCall me maybe?
ReplyDeleteI've never done this before but I sure could use him. start with doing my errands, and sending me to a spa on his dime of course.
ReplyDeleteboy, we'd never break up until my bf found us out, LOL!
"Finally, for a sub, you seem really obsessed w/controlling all the perimeters of a potential relationship, and while it's one thing to know what you're looking for, are you sure you're not just trying to top from the bottom? (It sounds like the old joke: 'Mistress, I'll do anything for you!' 'OK, clean my apartment!' 'Ummmm....')"
ReplyDeleteTopping from the bottom is the problem with EVERY sub I've ever known. I have a whole theory on it.
And what Ramone Love said.
I need him. But he keeps talking about how cute he is makes me think he's not. That's okay, now come wash my dishes, boy! I need a back massage and my laundry done.
ReplyDeleteSooo....he wants to be my bitch? SOLD! Have him call me.
ReplyDeleteNot cute, not very smart.
ReplyDeleteNo true sub would call women "girls".
Not any sub I'd want around.
The OCD me is noticing all the junk in the background. I like his S&M jazz hands. I would be mortified knowing my pic was published.
ReplyDelete