Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Canyons Trailer

If you thought Canyons would be the worst movie to be released in the past decade, you might be right. Judging by the trailer, it is going to be very, very bad. And when I say bad, I mean so bad, that I had to struggle through the 90 second trailer. If this movie is actually released, it could let Katherine Heigl off the hook for worst movie box office ever.

Posted by ent lawyer at 7:30 AM

Labels: ,

53 comments:

  1. libby7:35 AM

    When the trailer can't feature any dialogue, OR well-lit scenes with the stars, you know it's not good.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amber7:37 AM

    I'm so depressed that I don't have speakers hooked up at the moment. Is this the one with her and the porn star?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Staple6117:40 AM

    This made me LOL. Also loved the improper use of quotations throughout.

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  4. Unknown7:45 AM

    Love that "serious/scared" face in the top picture! Thats dedication to her craft!!!

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  5. Elizabeth7:47 AM

    Remember the old Batman TV series? It looks like the exact same guys are making porn. I kept waiting for the "Kapow!" on the screen.

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  6. Not A Ninny7:47 AM

    I dunno, this looks like it could be a campy schlockfest like Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. If it's got lots of Lohan softcore porn, it might actually make money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GemTwist8:57 AM

      That's what I thought. It's (probably, hopefully) supposed to be ridiculous and campy.

      Delete
  7. OneGirlRevolution7:50 AM

    Did people actually get paid for this?

    OT, what ever happened with her Chateau Marmont bill?

    ReplyDelete
  8. CrazyCatLady7:51 AM

    Can't have anything but gutter low expectations for a movie staring a junkie and a porn star

    ReplyDelete
  9. OneGirlRevolution7:53 AM

    Oh, and apparently LL is going to "star" in Lady Gaga's next video.

    I wonder if it's about a coked up, drunk has-been.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Silly Girl7:55 AM

    @Amber, yes, it's LL and porn. Seriously, this looks like it should be a funny or die video!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Seachica7:58 AM

    LILO could unwittingly become the queen of Schlock

    ReplyDelete
  12. Rose8:01 AM

    Wait, LL made two movies this year? That must be up 200% from last year.

    I love how the music in the trailer is trying to imply it's some type of 60's caper movie, about porn.

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  13. Darkmyst8:10 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Darkmyst8:11 AM

    Isn't Demi Moore the current holder of the worst box office ever award?

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  15. All about Eve8:11 AM

    They tried to go for that 60's movie look. Don't know, might become one of those campy movies everyone likes.

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  16. Sunny8:17 AM

    Did my nephew send this to you? He is pretty Rico Suave when it comes to that IMovie

    Thiz gonna be Shitacular!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. .robert8:23 AM

    @Darkmyst - Cutthroat Island lost the most money. Zyzzyx road (Heigl) only made $30.

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  18. Unknown8:24 AM

    no way this makes it to theaters straight to dvd sounds better!

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  19. chopchop8:36 AM

    Is this for real?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Goober8:36 AM

    "Wow!" Was that a "parody" of 1950's "B" movies? Because it was so "wierd." I mean, I was just "totaly confused." Is it a "real" movie? And what about this "James Deen?" "Really?" "Not interested."

    ReplyDelete
  21. christopher8:47 AM

    ive seen alot worse......
    we all have

    just cause lindsay has so many haters you cant listen to most reviews

    id give it a c--he looks lost

    ReplyDelete
  22. christopher8:49 AM

    james deen is a straight "gay" porn actor who is fairly well hung-like 8-9 inches

    this movie was to be his "legit" start

    bret easton ellis is great and he like it so....

    ReplyDelete
  23. smash8:59 AM

    Yeah. He is fine.

    Best LILO acting I have seen in ages ;)
    (If you watch the trailer she doesn't say anything and you only see her twice or so)

    ReplyDelete
  24. parissucksliterally9:00 AM

    CHEESY CHEESE.

    awful...

    ReplyDelete
  25. katsm07119:12 AM

    The whole movie is just words on the screen. There's no actual dialogue.

    I don't make fun of people's looks, just once in a while really bad plastic surgery bc thats their fault (unless I really feel bad for them or she's just a bitch who deserves it)... U know what's coming....

    Lindsay is starting to look like Eric Stolz in Mask.

    ReplyDelete
  26. g.strathmore9:13 AM

    This looks like someone's film school senior project.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Seonaid Divine9:19 AM

    LOL @katsm0711

    You set that up perfectly.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  28. Pookie9:19 AM

    i get it that the editing is supposed to be a nod to the 60s new wave & post-neo realism movement in film...but i don't know if that nod is meant in homage or as mockery. either way, your average viewer isn't going to get it.

    good luck, ll.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Unknown9:22 AM

    was that supposed to be funny because I can't stop laughing

    ReplyDelete
  30. Seonaid Divine9:23 AM

    @Pookie
    LOL
    How are you using post-neo realism here? '70's porn?
    ;)
    Generous, you are.



    ReplyDelete
  31. MISCH9:24 AM

    The trailer looks like it's in a time warp...circa 1967
    oh and it's awful...

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sherry9:36 AM

    @katsm: Really? There is no dialogue at all in the movie?

    I didn't think they overused the quotes. Movies and characters do go in quotes but the "huge" was a little silly.

    And yeah, it looks "Valley of the Dolls" campy.

    ReplyDelete
  33. El Roy 13 9:38 AM

    i was one who actually liked, I know who killed me...and I loved american psycho, hardcore looks good too from what I read last night, and LL really does have legit acting chops, so I def will watch this.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Bluevelvet9:49 AM

    It looks like a better homage tp grindhouse movies than the movie "Grindhouse"

    ReplyDelete
  35. crichmond100010:02 AM

    Like a fan made video on youtube. I think they missed their mark

    ReplyDelete
  36. Amber10:23 AM

    @OMAMA - I LOVED I Know Who Killed Me. Obviously not because it was a cinematic masterpiece, but it's so freaking fun(ny) to watch. Same with Jennifer's Body, and this other movie called Ginger Snaps.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Beth11:01 AM

    Did they make it look awful on purpose?

    ReplyDelete
  38. jax11:29 AM

    uh, James Deen is not gay. Read his blog.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Nick11:51 AM

    Paul Schrader directed "The Canyons;" he isn't a raging incompetent, so I'm guessing he's going for comedy here. The whole thing could very well be a big huge misfire, but I don't see the goofiness of that trailer as being anything other than carefully chosen.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Maximus11:53 AM

    Wow that looks catastrophic

    ReplyDelete
  41. raelynn12:21 PM

    I'm confused....is "The Canyons" referring to a description of Lohan's va-jay-jay????

    ReplyDelete
  42. MadLyb12:27 PM

    Actually - this looks like it's going to be awesome! I love the old campy flicks.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Jason Blue Eyes12:44 PM

    Paul Schrader directed this - He's written some of the greatest movies ever - his work as a director is hit or miss - I think he's trying to go Paul Thomas Anderson/Dario Argento here and I'm not sure he pulled it off.

    This isn't going to win Lindsay that Oscar she wants sooooooo bad though.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Brian1:23 PM

    When Kickstarter goes wrong...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Mango1:34 PM

    @ Amber - If you don't have speakers you really didn't miss much - just some cheesy bongo/beatnik music.

    ReplyDelete
  46. old ;ady1:56 PM

    And we are surprised Why? Looks bad and stars LiLo what did everyone expect? I know she will win an award for this mess a Razzie.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Sherry2:28 PM

    oh raelynn: excellent!

    ReplyDelete
  48. MrWolf3:01 PM

    @Brian - LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  49. pretzel logic3:43 PM

    All this film needs is Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo making cracks about it from the front row seats.

    ReplyDelete
  50. mooshki6:16 PM

    Amen, Pretzel!

    I can't believe how badly she's ruined her face. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Wil10:58 PM

    Damn .. that music had me on the look out for Annette and Frankie and a polka dotted bikini.

    ReplyDelete

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