Zombie Attacks Move To Pennsylvania

The wave of zombie attacks sweeping the country have moved north from Florida to Pennsylvania. In what could be one of the more bizarre attacks, a 20 year old man stripped to his underwear and then attempted to break into a house at about 4:30 a.m. The home owner chased him off. Of course, he realized his mistake at the time was that he actually left his underwear on so he took those off and found a vacant house to break into and he waited. He then jumped out of a second story window through the glass and confronted two women on the street before grabbing one of them and began gnawing on her head while screaming like an animal. Police arrived and used tasers to stop the man. Look at the house above. Who is going to walk past that house while it is dark anyway? You are just asking for trouble.