Well if people against the idea of two gay parents needed an icon, they have one in the openly gay Rupert Everett. In The Sunday Times Magazine, Rupert says that he can't think of anything worse than being raised by two gay dads. He went on to say that he thinks a child needs a mother and a father. He says that he doesn't care if people agree with him, but that it is his opinion. That is a pretty strong opinion, but then again, Rupert has never really been shy about saying what is on his mind and it has cost him work. He says he can't get work because he is gay. I say he can't get work because he makes everyone mad he meets.
On the plus side, it's good to know that this is one person with that opinion who won't be spreading it to future offspring.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rupert on this issue. Maybe he's an unpleasant person, but that doesn't mean he's wrong. Ceteris paribus, a mother and father is better than a father and father.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is entitled to there own opinion. just because its not something you agree with or what goes against the popular opinion doesn't make him wrong. at least he won't be raising a kid then.
ReplyDeleteI thought Rupert was a pretty decent actor. I would have thought his mouth would get him roles not cost him roles.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has an opinion, you need to choose your audience, or suffer the repercussions.
While a mother and a father may be ideal, is two father's worse than having no parents at all? Is two fathers worse than being raised by a single father? How about being raised by a single mother? There are plenty of situations that are less than ideal, but still result in happy, well-adjusted kids. So much ignorance.
ReplyDeleteTruth. So much blame and judgment out of it, too...What about widows/widowers? Are they being irresponsible if they don't remarry? I've often wondered.
DeleteIn-ideal needn't be the same thing as wrong.
Who is he? Name sounds familiar but I don't recognize either guy in the pic.
ReplyDeletebest friends wedding....
DeleteI think two loving, nurturing parents are what's ideal, regardless of gender.
ReplyDelete+1
DeleteThe other guy is Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays Sherlock Holmes in the BBC series.
ReplyDeleteLoving parents are what a child needs.
ReplyDeleteJust his opinion.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with this. What he forgets is that too many people, including myself, were raised with only 1 parent, and that puts a lot of pressure on that parent, and the entire family, especially if they are struggling to make ends meet. He might be gay, but he is not qualified to make this assumption. I'm sure we'll start hearing quite the opposite from people who were raised with gay parents.
ReplyDelete"by" gay parents.
ReplyDeleteI was raised by an overbearing, verbally abusive father and for awhile by a mother who committed suicide when I was 8. I'd have taken two loving gay parents, instead I got to be mom to my little brother.
ReplyDeleteWell Del at least your brother got you.
DeleteGlad you were there for your younger brother
DeleteBig hugs to you.
DeleteLucky brother to have had you. I hope your life now is much happier.
DeleteI've met some really sorry excuses for parents in my life. And those would be the type that have a mother and a father present. Children need someone to love and nurture them...be it one parent, a mom and a dad, two moms or two dads.
ReplyDeleteAmen! Don't forget grandparents - they do a lotta heavy lifting these days.
DeleteImperfect situations arise. To purposely create this situation??
ReplyDeleteImperfect situations arise. To purposely create this situation??
ReplyDelete2 gay dads could make excellent parents there is no doubt about that but you can't forget that this kid will more than likely be bullied at school for it. some people are big enough to get through it but not everyone will be that strong.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to hear what that bitter old queen has to say about things, isn't it.
ReplyDeleteI understand, and don't really disagree, with the concept that being raised well and lovingly by a male and a female is more balancing and ideal in preparing one for a life, in a world full of both males and females.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as long as someone is raised being loved, respected, and reasonably prepared for the world, that is the most important thing. I don't care if it's two moms, two dads, one mom, one dad, an older sibling, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, or non-blood related people who do the raising. As long as the love and respect are there, that trumps everything.
That respect should extend to people outside the home as well.
One of my friends is in a long-term relationship, and they're raising a well-adjusted, happy little boy. This child is fortunate to have two happy, loving parents who have provided him with a loving, stable home. He went to camp this summer, has tons of friends, and just last night, went to see Toy Story 3/Disney on Ice.
ReplyDeleteRupert is certainly entitled to his opinion, but I can't help think of the saying:
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
@Barton Fink: I'm pretty sure your previous comment would fall under the category of hate speech. Disagree with Everett's opinion if you want, but calling him a "queen", dismissively/derogatorily, isn't cool. If he had made a "pro" two gay dads comment instead of an "anti" two gay dads one, and someone had dismissively called him a "queen" because of it, they'd be catching hell from everyone here. Better watch it, bro...
ReplyDeleteThomas: Barton is gay so I think it's not hate speech. I think it's like African American's being able to use the (horrible) N word.
DeleteAlso he is entitled to his opinion and I have loved Rupert's work but he's gotten so bitter lately it makes me think his being a ginormous PITA and that horrid plastic surgery is keeping him from getting work.
Also since I was raised by a single mom it's good to know my childhood was a complete lie sayeth Rupert.
I wonder if Rupert has some internalized homophobia going on. I can't help but feel a little sorry for him that he actually feels this way.
ReplyDeleteOh Thomas, stop licking your lips at me.
ReplyDelete@Del Riser, I can relate. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteTwo loving responsible parents is better than anything, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Shitty parents are shitty parents.
ReplyDeleteCase in point, my husband and I. I grew up with typical parents, albeit abusive and alcoholic in nature. My husband has two moms, and had a FARRR better upbringing than me.
It helps to meet the product of a gay upbringing.
He sounds like he hates himself.
ReplyDelete@Sherry and Eve, Yes we had each other. We learned a lot about surviving without a parental figure.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't escape without scars, but they fade. We are both happily married to wonderful mates and both of us have loving adult children.
@g. strathmore, I'm so sorry that you can relate, it's never easy is it? What can you do but keep on, and vow to never be that way to your own children.
He's entitled to his opinion. I believe loving, committed parents are better than one mother and one father who could care less about their children. Many kids have single parents or gay parents and are able to have a normal and happy childhood. As long as theres a loving and involved parent its good
ReplyDelete@Sherry, I just googled Rupert's plastic surgery. What?! Why did he do that? He was handsome. Now he looks like the son of Mickey Rourke.
ReplyDeleteOkay, that's an exaggeration, but still.
such blatant idiocy. "a mother and father is better than two gay dad" or moms.
ReplyDeletetwo loving parents is better than no loving parents or one loving parent. but a loving parent - no matter what the gender or persuasion - is better than none.
there are many people in the world who have a mother and father who don't love them. yet, looked at from the outside, its the stereotypical perfect family.
the issue should be whether the parent is loving and nurturing or not, and nothing else.
Rupert can think/say whatever he wants. If he thinks children should be raised with a father and mother, who's to castigate him and belittle his choice?
ReplyDeleteThe same would apply if he thought two dads or moms would be equallt good or better options; you don't have to agree but have respect for the feelings of others.
@ Sherry: No offense, but if anyone were to refer to me as the N-word, things would go from good to evil in no time. In the same vein, being gay doesn't mean you get to disparage another gay person; it's unnecessary and bullying in nature.
@B626:
ReplyDelete"Imperfect situations arise. To purposely create this situation??"
In my opinion, a child being raised by two gays or lesbians is not in an "imperfect" situation just because the parents aren't male and female.
Any child who is dearly wanted and loved is a very lucky child.
The way I am interpreting his comment is," I know what I am like and I cannot imagine having another adult just like me in the house and the two of us having the responsibility of raising a child together and have that kid turn out alright."
ReplyDeleteI don't have any problems with the gay issue...my only thought is that women TEND to be more physical with a child in that important first year than a man TENDS to be....gay or straight. If that physical closeness is missing, a child can develop an attachment disorder.
ReplyDeleteKey word = TEND There are wonderful exceptions to everything out there.
Wait, are we actually talking about this ridiculous belief when there's a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch to be stared at?
ReplyDeleteIs it just me, or is Rupert a self-loathing gay man? First he says in an article that gay people should not come out, then he says that gay people should not be parents. WTF?
ReplyDeleteYou know how there are fame whores? Rupert was famous, but the way he presents himself and his opinions (even the ones against Madonna) are just irksome and have lost him his fame.
ReplyDeleteHe is a defamewhore.
Maybe he's gunning to play the next bachelor-interesting angle, no? ;p
Ugh. I am SOOOOOOOO tired of people getting worked up over these types of issues. People can't even say one word about gay people if it's not 20000% positive and in their favor without someone going batshit crazy and crying "homophobe". I don't give a shit who raises a child as long as they do it right. If he's gay and doesn't agree with it, that's his opinion, it's not like it's going to go into effect just because he said it.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is anything wrong with 2 men or women raising a child, but I think if it is a female child with 2 fathers, that they should at least have a female friend around who can help them out when they need a woman around. A man can't explain female puberty to a little girl or first kisses or prom dresses like another woman can. Just like two moms can't explain certain things to a male child.
I don't think that last part is necessarily true. My mum explained nothing of puberty/sex to me, except to ask if I wanted a book on the subject. I didn't. She didn't explain first kisses, and as for Prom dresses? I got all of my interest in fashion from my gay older brother - his taste in clothes is a million times better than my Mums, and most other females I know!
DeleteIf anything ever happens to me and my partner, our little girl will be going to my brother and his partner. Gay or not I know that they have a world of love for my little girl, similar values and will do a better job than any straight couple I know.
^ Well said :)
ReplyDeleteWhat del riser said.. I'd take two gay dads over what I had to live with in a nanosecond. I've made my peace with my parents ... It took a lot.. So yes, two loving parents is all that is needed, gender be damned.
ReplyDeleteHe said stuff against Madonna? I thought they were BFF's?
ReplyDeleteFormerCriminalProsecutorChimes In@RealityCheck:True bedtime story:Once upon a time I had a 6 year old removed from home of neglectful whore of a mother who sent him to school stinking of urine, was not home at night cuz that would interfere with her right to get laid/paid, etc.Sent him off to fabulous foster home of 2 really great gay men that DSS said would be paradise for poor kiddy.They were honored for their service in eaching out to young boys in need, where it turned out they raped, sodomized & tortured said "placements"
ReplyDeletea daily basis.Until 1 of them ran away, showed the police his bruises,scars,ripped anus, etc...Then still being idolized by the LBGT community as victims of a "witch hunt", the wonderful gay couple child predators were allowed to post bail,promptly did so & fled.Oh happy days..I had to pay to get America's Most Wanted to feature these 2 sickos (that's right,some hero John Walsh is...)BUT it did work so $$$ well spent as tips poured in.Imagine my listening to kiddy I took away from neglectful mom to turn him over to House Of Horrors Run By 2Gay Pedophiles who really really loved the little ones.Yes,they were convicted,but that did not take any of the pain away from the victims or my never ending guilt for having fallen for their act & placed little Scott there.This happens more than you think,hate all you want on me for truth be told.Lot of twisted perverts with agendas out there,those 2 put on a really good show for a long time.I would not say that 2 gay men make better parents,even if DSS has "investigated" their foster home & given it "seal of approval"as happened in this unfortunate incident involving dozens of little boys.Not saying this does not happen in straight parent foster homes.Just saying just because parents are gay, don't mean they are better parents.
And just because they are gay doesn't make then paedophiles. Just putting it out there - that is an AWFUL situation but you can't judge everyone based on that one scenario.
Delete(a) Link, please.
ReplyDelete(b) If we were going to quit placing kids in a particular type of home because abuse happened there, THERE WOULD BE NO PLACEMENTS. Way to tar every gay person with the same brush there, M.
Yeah...because nothing like that ever happens with the straights. Uh, uh no way. Only teh gays are perverted like that.
ReplyDelete:eyeroll:
And I don't think calling gays "Queen" is equivalent to calling blacks "n*****"; even amongst themselves; of course this is wholly based on my observation of gay friends and not on personal experience.
ReplyDelete(Now I'm curious and want to ask them)
Sunnyhorse- he was not taring every gay parent. He said at the end this also happens in straight home.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't people share without getting jumped on?
It is like barton finks comment, he got called out for why? He is a gay man and the term queen is not something trying to be derogatory. As the person telling their story, they were sharing a terrible story with us.
And I remember hearing about this on america's most wanted. Shit happens in gay, straight, bi, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, european homes. My mom used to hit me, she was raised by an alcoholic and had a grandfather that raped her, no one believed her so it happened for years until he died. Straight parents can also be terrible.
Rupert has been bitter for a long time now, it's a shame, I can still remember him in Another Country. He was so handsome then.
ReplyDeleteI agree its not denigrating for one gay to call another a queen, it's derogatory but you could equate it with one girl calling another a bitch or a diva.
smashbash that's a sad story about your mum. A huge hug for you.
ReplyDeleteSunnyhorse-Get off your high horse & improve your reading comprehension. At the end I stated "Not saying this does not happen in straight parent foster homes. Just saying just because parents are gay, don't mean they are better parents."
ReplyDeleteSee, the truly ironic part of the whole mess was that it happened in a very Conservative County where I was constantly preaching on my completely local Prestige Cable TV show (produced & directed by none other than Thomas Roberts, now most famous openly gay male news anchor), as well my radio show & newspaper column-to stop hating on homosexuals because adult male homosexuals like the truly handsome hunk Thomas Roberts have ZERO interest in little boys. (Want to know my name, links, ask Thomas Roberts..or hero John Walsh.)
Never imagining that in the not so far away future, little Scott would be bitterly screaming at me for being such an ardent supporter of twisted perverts with an agenda.
I'll give you another one where I was also indirectly involved because this incident was International News which proves that molesting at least 40 little dark skinned boys is OK if you are a Caucasian Nobel Prize Winner. Cuz he ending serving a full 6 months for years of oral as well as anal sodomy of at least 40 kiddies AND the FBI knew about it for decades-just didn't act. "Nobel Prize-winning physician and medical researcher Daniel Carleton Gajdusek had, at various times in his life, likened himself to the Pied Piper, leading children instead of rats, according to an FBI agent's review of his seized journal entries."
http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/news/display.htm?storyID=96933 (Article is incorrect in concluding that he served a year in jail, that was the sentence. The Nobel Prize winner only served 6 months.) Happy now?
I officially grant unto all people, straight, gay and in-between, the right to use the word "queen" to describe: a man pushing sixty with his face surgically stretched back into a horrifying Joan Crawford expression and spouting hateful campy expressions. Like Rupert, for instance. All human beings have the right to call attention to his, ahem, new face and tired ancient attitude. If anyone tries to stop you, refer them to me and I'll set them straight. As it were.
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that I took @M's story as just a share. M didn't seem to judge either way on gay or straight parents, just sharing an experience that left M feeling horribly guilty. M shouldn't feel guilty bc M did everything M was supposed to do. I took from it that M needs reassurance that M couldn't have prevented it but deserves points bc M helped stop the abuse. I'm I'm wrong M, sorry, I just want to point out a different take on your words other than gays can never be parents. Which is so not what you were saying. As the daughter of a priest, I've got my own stories. I've actually done my own investigating on whether someone needs to be turned into the FBI. My results came up inconclusive so I stopped. I think M has a job that is either top of the scale for rewarding and bottom of the lowest when it's not. Someone with M's job needs to be supported no matter what bc it's such a tough job that I'm sure many leave after seeing the horrors. I hope M gets to see plenty of rewards.
ReplyDeleteDear God, M, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hate people.
ReplyDelete...Thanks for the Benedict Cumberbatch picture...
ReplyDeleteI won't forgive Rupert for making that horrible movie with Vadge, The Next Best Thing. I can't get those ninety-five minutes back.
ReplyDelete@Barton I love your sense of humor. :)
ReplyDeleteRupert gets a pass from me for being in Cemetery Man...
ReplyDeleteHe's not the first gay man I've heard say this. I've actually had some interesting conversations about this topic with some gay friends. And both of my cousins who are gay will never adopt. Mind you, the hetero parents they are describing are not psycho drugged out wackos. Of course no one wants kids with messed up people.
ReplyDeleteAnywho, I always find it interesting to hear different opinions and don't really get worked up over it.
IVF is not safe, look
ReplyDeletehttp://www.rbmojournal.com/article/S1472-6483(12)00290-8/fulltext
Thank you astrogirl
ReplyDelete@BartonFink: That made me laugh. I'm sure you know Rupert's history. He's been very open about what he did to make the rent.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, terrible plastic surgery. He was once quite handsome. With the original looks and accent, he could have made any number of BBC productions.
@Barton...lol. Since my last post, I asked one of my friends and he essentially told me the same thing but in a slightly more...um..."spicy" manner (but then again, he's spicy about a lot of things).
ReplyDeleteTo Jemtastic and others; my attempt to find a parallel between a gay man callng another queen was a poor fit. If I offended anyone my sincere apologies and I can assure you Jem, I would never use the N word on anyone (you did not imply that). The sooner that word leaves the vernacular the better! Now bitter old queen is still kinda funny. Hey maybe we could add it on like PhD or Esq. Rupert Everett BOQ.
ReplyDeletePasses 'virtual joint' to smashbash. ;)
ReplyDeletethank you, M. i got out of mental health before my schooling was even finished because i couldnt face the kids in the homes anymore. i was becoming dehumanized: i didnt have the strength anymore to do a good job. i have friends who put years into DSS before what they saw broke them. thank for posting this.
ReplyDelete@Sherry, no worries here. I wasn't offended, more like, things that make you go, "hmmm."
ReplyDeleteWhat is amazing about this non-story is how "Enty" is not calling for Rupert Everetts head for making the comment. If someone "hetero" or "straight" had said it, Enty and every other --- fag-hag, reach-around speacialist, dyke, lipstick lesbian and anyone else who is gay-biased/intimidated by the gay mafia --- would want his head.
ReplyDeleteFuck you faggot ass hypocrites.
Brenda & Kats,
ReplyDeleteThanks for understanding. I did the work to save the children & I failed almost all of the time. Not because I lost the case, but because they had been damaged beyond repair or were already mostly or completely dead. The only concept that kept me going was that during time served in jail, no new victims accrued-the body count stopped. I was literally on duty 24/7, did my own criminal profiling, tried everything I could conceive of soothe their pain; to change the laws, to get them placed in safe homes. I wrote grants to get $$ for their therapy, I went to every crime scene myself, so I wasn't relying on police reports or photographs. I won't write the names of the gay couple running the foster care torture home for kids because they had their 15 minutes of fame. Gosh, they were featured on"America's Most Wanted".
It remains & always was, 1 of the most horrifying aspects of prosecuting serial rapists, child predators, killers-they get jollies knowing that they are famous, while the names of the victims are forgotten. They keep their own newspaper clippings, & love being interviewed. If you go back to the item about Michael Madsen's BAC, read my comments at the end. The baby that was killed by her biological mother, her limbs broken, her eyes blackened, covered with too many bruises to count from daily beatings; her pain came to an end when she was smothered as a punishment for crying 1 day short of the age of 6 months. The loving mother then tossed her naked body like garbage into a pile of leaves at a local State Park. At first, people thought it was a not a dead baby: but a doll. It is a sign of tremendous contempt, as well no feelings of remorse at all to dispose of the corpse in that manner.
I promised the man who believed he was her biological father that I would never forget her name. Tabitha Leann Meekins, I still have the crime scene photos of her broken battered body because someone should mourn her besides him. Children have no rights in this country, because battered babies can't vote. They have no voice. The roll call of every one of my cases, every single one of them I absolutely remember-they are the ones who deserve your sympathy & support. I'm seeing a shrink who writes me for fistfuls of meds so I can sleep at night because that is the most efficient method of blocking out their pain from my head.
The only way to make money is to switch to the other side & defend child molesters & rapists with deep pockets. I declined every offer to make at least 20 times my fabulous salary as a public servant because there are some things that money can't buy. Not from me. I would then be asked, aren't criminal defendants entitled to competent counsel under the law..& the answer to that is, I've never seen a ruling that states I am required to do so personally. When & if that ever happens, alert the media because I would rather set myself on fire in front of the Old Courthouse then render aid of any kind to pedophile priests, rapists & child predators. Of course, I also issued all the press releases, so I would have to have faxed that out before purchasing the lighter fluid. Peace out.
Oh M. I don't care how long you hold out, I'm just happy there are people like you who try to make a difference. I hope you also spend time finding the good in the world to balance yourself out.
DeleteOn average, I believe studies have shown that the children of gay parents are better educated and given more child-enrichment opportunities (camps, adventure trips, etc) than the children of straight parents, because ON AVERAGE, the children of gay parents are planned and prepared for and that is frequently not the case with straight parents. There are very few "surprise" or "oops" children in a non-child-producing relationship. The studies are not stating exclusive facts; there can always be exceptions, but ON AVERAGE, this is what research has shown.
ReplyDeleteJust having read the Octomom post...
ReplyDeleteI think two level headed males or females are better parents than Octomom :P
M, don't be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou did what you thought was the right thing.
Please don't let that haunt you.
Barton etc: Use of that word is indeed offensive. Glad you BARTON FINK give people permission to use it. Forgive me if I wait until I see a petition signed by over a million self proclaimed "Queens" to do so, however.
I don't think he was wrong in voicing his opinion.
To everyone who wrote such nice things, I really do thank you. Still, I didn't mean to make this about me; it is about what all kinds of people do to infants, toddlers, teens, etc.
ReplyDeleteEnty had a posting the other day about a beautiful dog who sleeps every night on the grave of the person he lived with & loved. That is what gives me the sads. Haunts me. That many dogs are treated (deservedly)with so much affection & care, deep love, plenty of food, etc while I saw so many children who would have led better lives if they were lucky dogs in any kind of loving environment. Some of them were actually locked in dog kennels/crates,that was their feces filled, urine soaked bedroom.
I think Rupert Everett is making that statement judging by the gay men he knows, and has known.
ReplyDeleteStill, I think his opinion says more about the shortcomings of his own parents (a retired military officer and an AbFab mother), than about gay parents.
He came out in the 1980s and 1990s and ran with a very fast crowd. These would be the gay men he has known the best. Since he worked as a male prostitute and rent boy, he would have an experience of older gay men as being predators.
I wonder if he's even friends with a normal gay couple....
You did what you could. What was available to the best of your resources..you helped!
ReplyDeleteI bet you helped a lot more than you know.
Listen to me, you're not God.
But I bet to someone (at least one) you've been an angel.
Don't forget that.
Stay classy, CG.
ReplyDelete@M, people who do work like you do, work that requires looking straight into the face of suffering without shielding your eyes or knowing if you will succeed in ameliorating the pain are the bravest people in the world. Truly. Being in the military, strangers come up to me frequently and thank me for service or tell me I'm brave. But people who help tortured and abused children and animals, what YOU do, takes real bravery. I'll tell you it is far easier for me to walk into a building thinking I might get shot, than to walk into a building thinking I might bear witness to agonized creatures looking to me for help. Amazing work you do. Heroic.
ReplyDeleteAstrogirl- I just saw that now!!! **puff puff*** pass>>
ReplyDeleteSome of the back story on Rupert--interesting article from 2007: http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/rupert-everett-head-boy-765361.html
ReplyDeleteThere is no guarantee that kids will turn out alright if you're straight or gay...
ReplyDeleteChildren need to be loved and cared for, if the parents are gay that's fine with me.
I agree with Rupert too. Not to say that two gay dad's are a bad thing, and that as long as a child is raised with love is all a child needs...but I believe, and am entitled to my opinion. I think a child is best raised by a male and a female.
ReplyDelete