Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Madonna Is Trying Too Hard

Have you heard much of Madonna's new record on the radio? Want to know why? It is not that good. Last I checked in July, it had not even made Gold yet in the US. That is pretty lame by Madonna standards. I feel like for the first time in her music life she is at a little bit of a loss and does not know what to do. I also feel like she has finally turned into one of those people who have these artistic visions that are bizarre and crazy and that no one understands but herself and a bunch of yes people who all sit around with her doing Bikram Yoga at 430 in the morning who all feel blessed to be in Madonna's presence and kiss her ring on the way out while she says goodbye in a very British accent before summoning her boy toy to service her in the drawing room. Her concerts have tried to be city or country specific depending on where she is and she is trying to force controversy to get attention and be able to stick out of a very crowded musical landscape. I think she is thinking about the good old days when she regularly was controversial and it succeeded in increased record sales and tours. The thing is her music was really good at the time too. People listened and liked and bought and attended. She tries to insert herself into politics which is always dangerous, because it is not just one party or another who is buying her music. Why alienate people? I have not seen a Madonna show in a very long time. Why? I feel like she should sell out at least once. I want her to show me that she can be a regular person and do something for the fans and not for herself. Every single tour for the past 20 years has been about Madonna and what she wants and she has not cared about the fans. For one tour, I want her to go out and sing every hit song she has ever had. Forget the new stuff. Don't even release any record except a best of and then go out and sing all your hits for one tour. People will eat that stuff up. She won't though because she wants to create a vision and not live in the past.

62 comments:

  1. She could do a Celine-esque Vegas show, do all her hits, make a mint, and get the daily crowd adoration she craves without having to travel.

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  2. I disagree about not living in the past. Vadge got stuck in 1994. She has not evolved since.

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  3. libby, that's a great idea. She would have a ton of money, a Vegas nightlife, and all the latino boys that money could buy. She would be able to settle into a comfortable geriatric stage of development without all this awkward fumbling around.

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  4. One thing I must say about Madge: nearly every other global megastar has gone completely off the rails, but she has not. Britney, Michael, Eminem, Whitney, Mariah at one point - the list goes on. Madonna is still here and still (relatively) sane and healthy.

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  5. Libby, that is a great idea! I think the problem is that SHE didn't think of it first (Elvis, Celine, Hasselhoff (jk), etc.). Her ego would never allow it, unless there was something crazy attached to it to make it a FIRST in something.

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  6. Vadge will never do Vegas! Her ego would never let her do that. She compares Vegas with has beens.

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  7. I like my Madonna from 1983. Slightly pudgy, a little sassy, kinda cute, and light hearted. Today's Madonna is sinewy, angry, past her prime, and desperate.

    Do not want.

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    1. I remember the very first concert I ever went to was a Madonna show. Yes 1983 small venue. All of us girls were dressed like Madonna. I would love love love if she did just do a greatest hits tour, no new stuff. I would introduce MY daughter to that. Oh but we can only wish.

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  8. It's her EGO she just can't let go...

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  9. She has not had a good album in a loooooong time. Remember when she was learning guitar? Amy Pohler did the best madonna skit where she was off key and telling the band they all sucked.

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  10. Anonymous7:01 AM

    Madonna is an unique case. Where many of her contemparies got into major trouble (MJ), faded into the background (Cyndi Lauper), retired (Tina Turner), or became a literal symbol (Prince), Madonna has chugged along and hasn't had a true fall from grace. She's always been popular, and always played by whatever rules she deemed fit. She's the smartest among her peers--not the most talented, but smart enough to know what she was, what she could offer to the masses, and how to become her own entity without becoming a joke. She has her yes people like the rest of them, but ultimately Madonna keeps Madonna in check.

    I don't blame her for not looking back to the past. That can be fun for fans, but not for the artist.

    I would love to see her work with Lady Gaga, because Gaga can write great songs and being around Madge would help Gaga keep her head on straight. It would be very beneficial for both. Won't happen, though. I think Gaga can handle sharing the spotlight a little. But not Madge.

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  11. madonna hasn't grown up. she's 54 and trying to act like she's still 24. madonna, we don't want to see you in lingerie, ok? or half naked.

    adele says that singers shouldn't use sex to sell records. she's 30 years younger than you, madonna, yet, she's oodles more mature. listen to her madonna. please.

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  12. I'm with donner. 1983, please.

    Now I've got to go chase kids off my lawn :-). I'm old and nostalgic, and I just don't give a hoot who knows it!

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  13. Oh, and what libby said, too.

    I thought about you this morning, lib. I was driving along smelling my armpit. True story. And I was cracking up thinking about possibly horrifying my fellow drivers :-). Conclusion - Tom's of Maine, while being natural and good, does not hold down the fort for more than 5-6 hours.

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  14. People were calling into a local radio station in DC on Monday morning to complain about her concert on Sunday night--she didn't even go on until 10:16pm, the crowd had to wait for her. She also played weird versions of some of her old songs apparently, so the songs that people went to hear didn't sound anything like the originals. A lot of people left early, too, because it was a work night in DC where a lot of people are AT work before 6am.

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  15. Anonymous7:11 AM

    OT: just saw where Andy Williams has died.

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. I just found an old copy of SEX (I have it in English and in a hideous French version, each costing like 100 bucks) and put it in my living room on a sheetmusic stand. Guests can turn the pages and go, "She did this? Really?" I deplore her, but I bought everything she made between 1984 and 1995.

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    1. I remember spending a hundred bucks on that SEX book....now if only I can remember where it went...

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  18. I haven't heard it because the LA radio stations play Rihanna, Flo Rida and Pitbull on a constant loop.

    I saw Madonna years ago, can't remember the tour but it was the one where she rode a mechanical bull. It was really bad and she had no audience interaction at all. I wouldn't bother again.

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  19. On the Vegas thing, it blows my mind that Matt Goss is now a star there. Have any of you seem his show, and if so does he play any Bros?

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  20. Wow @layna! Thank you for the first *breaking news* that was actually posted before everyone already knew lol

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  21. @Layna
    Madonna said that her and Gaga would perform together soon. I heard it on the radio.

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  22. But Madonna HAS become a joke! Ugh. I deplore her, like Barton said, but I've never purchased any of her "music." I do enjoy A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN, but only because it's an ensemble piece and I don't have to look at or listen to her throughout every scene. Otherwise, I have never supported her. And I'm a Gen Xer, so that's saying something.

    Blech. This hag needs to give up, retire, and start gardening or something. Perhaps growing hydrangeas.

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  23. Anonymous7:41 AM

    Love how someone in their mid-50s needs to retire. Hope no one says that to any of us. Ugh to that.

    I don't think she's a total joke, but it's an opinion.

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  24. Layna, it's not so much her age as the fact that she is just not relevant. She's just not. And I'm not convinced, given her album sales or lack thereof, that that's just my opinion.

    Plus I can't stand her and I just don't care who knows it.

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  25. And stuff like this is why I stick to Kylie: she's good to her fans, always plays the old stuff she knows people love, and stays out of politics. So what if she sounds kinda like a chipmunk?

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  26. I would like to see her in a long, sparkly gown, like Marlene Dietrich in her 50s. I do not want to see her half-dressed, or dressed like a cheerleader. It feels like she does not like herself at age 54, or wants to show that she is not really 54, which is a losing game.

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  27. Enty that is the only way I would go to a Madonna show too. I love 80s Madonna. I have no interest in this new garbage she calls music.

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  28. whatever she is doing still must work because her concerts are sold out everywhere. My biggest peeve with her is that I wish her wardrobe would grow up a bit. She looks absolutely ridiculous is her stage choices...which just remind me of Betty Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane...yuck.

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  29. Madonna's ego wont allow her to age gracefully. Look at all the desperate attention seeking things she has done on this tour like the nipple flashing...why? and what kind of parenting is that her son is right on stage with her.

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  30. Madonna is a legend...and will always be a legend. She just needs to retire and relax and stop trying to recapture her glory days. She's MADONNA!!! I will always love the Madonna from the 80's and early 90's. She's a HUGE icon, just like Michael Jackson. She's trying to reinvent herself, but she's too old now. Let it go Madge. You had your day in the sun...let Lady Gaga have a shot at it now.

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  31. I wish she would eat a damn sandwich. And realize that, just like the old slogan of the TV channel that made her famous, it's about the MUSIC!

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  32. her new music sucks. I wish she made a great album like ray of light or Confessions on a Dance Floor.
    im a madge fan and girl gone wild is painful to listen. I dont know what the hell the big people who gave the ok to this rubbish were thinking of

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    1. @beta at that time, I was heavy into the classic rock and metal that I grew up with. I had a love for trip hop and techno too. I was in a music store with my bf probably buying ozzy and I aske what music was on the speakers. It was Ray Of Light. I bought it just from hearing maybe 2 songs. I NEVER do that. I can't part with $$$ until I'm sure about every single part. For weeks i fell asleep with Ray of light on and I NEVER do that! It's just amazing. Only Madonna cd I own. She's ok but that album is amazing.

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  33. yeah, Madge, your time has come and gone. Is that so awful? Some people never even had a time. Try your new stuff, but throw in the oldies. They were good once, they are still good. You exsist as a person whether you are breaking taboos or not. It isnt that important to be wild. no one wants to see your boob,or see u shoot a gun. Relax, and just be.
    And I dont even particularly like her or her music!!!!! lol

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  34. Compare Madonna to an aging team-sport athlete. When the athlete gets old, he sees (eventually) how he brings the team down with his fading skills. For a solo artist it's harder to "see" yourself bc there's nothing to compare to. It's all about Madonna. She looks ridiculous wearing panties on stage but her aging voice isn't failin to harmonize with her Wilson Phillips partners. It's all about her AND her ego is ginormous so there's no way to show her how ridiculous she looks.

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  35. She needs to come to terms with her age. There's nothing more pathetic than someone trying too hard to be something they aren't.

    She is rich now - she could discover and produce new artists....Spend some time with her children and her man???

    At some point she will have to decide between her face and her butt....Where the extra 10 lbs will go.

    I don't know what all the movie stars and celebrities are going to do once they hit 50 or 60 and their skin is already stretched from botox and implants. More surgery, I guess.

    I'm thinking about Kim Basinger, Christie Brinkley and Sophia Loren - they are willing to put up with the extra 10 lbs, because it does help fill in the tiny wrinkles that start no matter who you are...And I think they definitely look better for it.

    Madonna looks older than she is, but if she would let herself put on even 5 lbs of fat naturally it would make a huge difference in her appearance.

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  36. I went to my first Madonna concert last month at Yankee Stadium. The show sucked, either she thinks playing her old songs date her or she is so in love with this new material that she feels the need to shove it down all her fans throats.

    Her "version" of Like A Virgin was so horrible it was a slow jazz version. I went through my Facebook postings and forgot she was singing. I say singing lightly, she was mostly lip synching to pre-recorded live tracks to give the illusion of live singing.

    When she sang 1 minute of Papa Don't Preach and the crowd went nuts for the old songs. When she sang the new songs, she had to scream at the crowd to get a reaction. The only standard song was Like a Prayer.

    She also spent 3 songs off stage, I get 1 song even 2 due to her age but almost 10-15 minutes off stage is such a rip off for the $200 bucks I spent on a ticket.

    Nothing is going to improve record sales for MDMA it's horrible, every song is horrible.

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  37. I think she needs to take a step back and re-evaluate where she is and how she can become relevant again. Hiring some good songwriters should be at the top of the list. One big hit will turn things around.

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  38. Madonna won't fit into the box you want her to fit in, so you denigrate her. Meanwhile, she grosses more and more with each tour, pocketing about half of it, selling out large venues (75,000 in Quebec recently) and her fans continue to love her as vehemently as they ever did. Why should Madonna care what you or anyone else thinks?

    Maybe when she has to move her shows into concert halls because she can't sell out a stadium, then your condemnations of her age and protestations of her being a has-been will be valid.

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  39. she should have retired about a decade (at least) ago and aged with grace and class. left some mystery.

    BUT....she does remind me of why I am choosing to NOT hold on to my own youth, but embrace the change of age.

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  40. "Why should Madonna care what you or anyone else thinks?"

    Well, for me, it's because it's a goddamn gossip site where I can give my opinion just like anyone else. And anyone else is free to disagree with me. Most of the time when this happens, it's quite respectful and interesting.

    And yes, I'm quite sure that Madonna DOESN'T give a shit what I or any of her detractors think. Who CARES?!

    MY question is why should YOU be the opinion police?

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  41. I was a fan in the 80ies and 90ies too (although the SEX-area made me yawn but she won me back with Ray of Light ).
    Maybe she oughtta tour less, she's been on tour every other year since a decade and she should keep it more exclusive, imo.
    Also, I think she was ageing really gracefully until she and Guy R. broke up. Obviously, that broke her heart and makes her compensate whatever.
    All in all, she's human.
    And if people don't care about her, she sure stirs up a lot of reactions...

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  42. oops, area =era...

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  43. I saw her in Dublin and what a waste of time, for at least 3 songs she's off stage and dancers are performing to a recording. She looked bored to be there, and by mid concert so were we the audience.

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  44. Madonna should totally perform a best of/selected hits tour + album. Her enduring career is an achievement, a huge success. While taking a break or during the tour, she can be open to new creative endeavours and then launch new hits.

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  45. I saw the show in Philly on opening night in the U.S. Bitch was 2 1/2 hours late. Best numbers in my humble opinion were Express Yourself, Like a Prayer and Vogue. Yeah. Her version of Like a Virgin was all Cabaret-style with her crooning (if that's what you want to call it) with a solo piano accompaniment in a Waltz 3/4 tempo. A really stellar singer could have pulled it off, but Madonna is an average singer at best. It kinda came off as a lonely old soul bleating out a drunken version of a song you want to love.

    This was the first time I saw a Madonna performance. The show was a spectacle and I appreciated all the flash and costumes and dancing and whatnot. Her new music FUCKING BLOWS, and that's what the whole show is. She does not do an encore. She goes on her political rant, which always makes me give the artist a side-eye. I firmly believe in freedom of speech, but I also firmly believe that when I'm shelling out almost $400 to see you, I don't need to hear your political interpretations. Thanks, Madonna and Bruce Springsteen. I can make up my own mind in the voting booth.

    Also, find the irony in all of her pro-Democratic propaganda yet in the same show her first three numbers are riddled with guns, violence, guns, violence and more guns. Bitch, please.

    Anyway, I can't hate on Madonna. Clearly, she's a genius. She's been relevant for a really long time and she's still selling out doing what she wants to do. She IS a legend.

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  46. I read that she says she will go on stage naked if Obama is re-elected. Does she really think that's going to influence voters? (Ok, maybe the stupid ones, but still.....) Is there anything left of her we haven't seen?

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    1. She referred to O as the black muslim in the WH.The threat to disrobe will push some to the right :)

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  47. Anonymous10:12 AM

    For the record, aging gracefully? Is overrated. That's coming in contradiction to what I said about British actresses embracing their gray hair. But it is what is. No one wants to get old, and all of us fight it on some level. The longer we can stay out the grave, the better.

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  48. I only look at pictures if her to Count her popping VEINS

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  49. MadYAWNna.

    as soon as I heard her describe herself as a "girl" on her latest album I stopped listening.

    girl, reinvent yourself as classy and authentic, then I'll listen.

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  50. @camembert first of all, slow ya roll.

    Second of all, it is possible to hold two opposing thoughts.

    I love Madonna, but I hated the concert.

    So, relax there buckaroo with the stink eye at us.

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  51. A Madonna greatest hits tour would be wonderful.

    Never say never....

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  52. hey, madonna? that drum majorette bit you do? taylor swift did it better as the opening vignette of the fearless tour. 3 years ago. and to the appropriate demographic. #relevancefail

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  53. She's so washed up..

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  54. I agree with libby. She should do Vegas. That would be spectacular!

    I was a fan way back in the day, but there's nothing sadder than a woman my age trying to be "hip" or "cool". Nope. It screams desperation, and looks as if one is frantically trying to claw back time, and it's sad.

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  55. Did I say it was sad...? (I suck at writing)

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  56. And also, this is totally unrelated but! I would like to say that I'm 22, Gaga is only a few years older than me, like 26?
    Anyways, I don't know Madonna other than the occasional song of hers that comes on in a bar..
    I have no idea how "influential" she was, since I wasn't alive during that time, like Gaga.
    So how could Gaga steal something someone did before she was even alive?

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  57. Anonymous11:04 AM

    Ugh, get ovah yourself Madonna. The shtick flew when the music was great, as Enty said. But she hasn't been great since...... what late ninety's? When she did that acid rock, hey mr dj put a record on i wanna dance with my baby? That was sorta alright if I'm being really generous. She can't sing. She can passably write, and the rest was put together by all the heavy production that her fantastic producers put together for her, which I'm sure she was sleeping with. It's ok, simple writing, an I'm so hot attitude, confidence, hard work in touring/dancing/ training, having a great body, and great people behind you. She's neither intelligent nor hip anymore and what's more her music sucks now. Sadface. I think she needs to be more humble, more grateful for her success, and give the fans what they want. She needs to give up on new material. She's never going to be at the top again, she's too old, she tries too hard, and she needs to be more graceful about her age. Look at Tina Turner, she's not out there screaming look at me I'm 19, I can do what I've always done, here's some great new relevant music about how we are all 19 years old and aren't our lives and problems all the same? They're not Madonna, they're really not. Go knock back a couple of cosmos with Elton and he'll tell you what you really are. A try hard, county fair stripper. I'm sorry. You were good, and you always thought that you were the greatest, so we all believed it for a while. Can't you just go enjoy your money, your family, your creativity in a different way than shaking your pale bony veiny sea biscuits at us? It's old. You're old. It's not cute anymore. Pull back and regain your dignity. Cover up. Stop with the geriatric calisthenics. Move somewhere exotic and interesting like Monaco, reinvent yourself. Start living an interesting life, vacation, write, read, design clothes, write books, use your brain. Your body and your passable voice, your passable song writing skills are really not doing it for anyone anymore. Please, please please. Regain your dignity, Age Gracefully. Grow up, show us that you've grown up. Go to therapy. Buy a yacht and a hot mediterranean man.no more boy toys and children, how about a real man? One with a career and some life experience, you know someone you can hold a two hour conversation with, not that infant back up dancer with the grumpy face who thinks he's gonna make it big off of you. Stop pretending, be gracious to Gaga, you paved the way, the thing is, you paved the way in the early eighties, it's now 2012, that's thirty years ago! You haven't matured in thirty years? Changed superficially yes, but really matured? Someone talk to her.

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  58. Anonymous5:54 PM

    Madonna is an icon. Period. She should start behaving like one.

    Not like a desperate 54 year old woman.

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