Jessica Simpson's Days Are Not Like The Rest Of Us

US Weekly has what they purport to be an exclusive about a day in Jessica Simpson's diet/life. They don't say if they really got it from her or just took it from some Weight Watchers board, but there are actual quotation marks. You think about having a four month old and see if this is how your life would be.

She says that she gets up at 7am to feed Maxwell. First of all, I keep thinking it is a boy. This is really confusing and Maxwell is going to get teased forever. Think about what you are naming your children. As I have said many many times, there will be no President Katniss. Anyway, she gets up at 7 like Maxwell is a perfect child and has not awakened at all during the night. Probably the baby woke up all night so she either sent some staff to deal with it or the other person she pays a salary to (Eric) to take care of it. She says she has some kind of half a flatbread sandwich with egg whites. Whatevs. She might hope to have that everyday, but I think she works out way more than she follows her diet. Also, there is no mention of M&M's and she already said she has at least a pack of them everyday without fail.

At 8am, after feeding her daughter and herself, somehow she gets out of the house. All in one hour? Yeah. You can tell she has a ton of help just by that answer. She then says she goes out and walks a bunch outside. Nope. Paps would get photos of her. She might work out inside her house and walk on a treadmill, but she is not going out. Sounds picturesque because she is taking her daughter and her unemployed boyfriend, but not reality.

That supposedly takes us all the way up to 11am when she meets with her trainer, alone. She goes all that way to meet him for just a 45 minute workout? That is what the article says. 45 minutes for four days a week. Normally I would put a crutch word here but someone sent me an article about crutch words so we will just move on. Let me know though when you are willing to drive forever in LA traffic four days a week to meet someone that you are paying a ton of money to for just a 45 minute workout. Eric usually takes her which means someone is home watching the baby.

Every Wednesday she weighs in with her mom and her "pals." When they say pals, they mean all the people from Weight Watchers who are paying her this truckload of money.

At 1pm she has lunch. She doesn't make it of course. Notice when you read the article there is no mention of feeding Maxwell at any other point in the entire day. I guess it is a one time a day thing for her.

Didn't Jessica say she hated fish before? Apparently not in her exclusive US Weekly diet because she has it almost every night with some other vegetables she also said she hated. I think the diet is crap and I would love to know exactly when Jessica sat down for this interview or if it was just sent over by Weight Watchers.