I used to call upon Jack Daniels to keep me company and sing along with Gloria G "I WILL SURVIVE". The entire song, over and over again until the bottle was finished. Worked for me. Bad hangover, though.
I had a really terrible breakup, and it took a year and finally getting out of town for a while to get me almost better. Ten years later, still not so absolutely over it.
My boyfriend of 9 years told me that when he was in his early teens, he and his brother used to "mess around with eachother" (brother is 2 years younger). So that was the end of that, 6 months ago.
What timing. I just got this this morning from I guy I have been talking to for 2 weeks and have gone out with. Just talked to him last night and things were going good ( do I thought). " Amy. I don't feel this is right. We have such different lifestyles. Sorry. Andrew ".
I always find comfort in Modest Mouse's album "good news for people who love bad news" its helped me thru 2 breakups and one friendship breakup. Lots of ice cream too.
Over the phone after over 9 years and with a wedding 6 months away (Yeah he was working abroad but I think after that amount of time forking out for a plane ticket wasn't too much to ask). Got over it by holing up at home with a box set of House for a week then scrubbed myself up and started going out and having fun with my friends :D
Listen to Mary Chapin Carpenter (she's my go-to music for good days or bad days), drink wine, eat fried potatoes.
Only time got me over him. (he was supposed to call me when he got home. He must have hit the North Pole by now...
Best revenge: Living well. Oh, yeah. Knowing that I'm happy now, in a way that I would NEVER have been happy with him. The guy that I'm with now Is The Best! Such a keeper.
Worst breakup: During college I was dating this guy for about 2 years...we were unofficially engaged. We lived apart for the last year, because he had to travel abroad. When he returned he was living back home with his parents. One evening, his best friend called to check up on me and something was off. So later on I called my BF and his mom told he that earlier that day he had eloped with a girl he only knew for 2 weeks. His mom didn't like me that much but after this, I became a saint in her eyes.
he got his though..she became schitzophenic and went on crazed benders and was paranoid about me. She threw away anything he had that reminded him of me and was convinced I was calling their house and stalking her, even though I lived 4 hours away.
25 years later, I realized she ws the best thing to have happened to me. He's just as nuts as she is.
When comedies (Seinfeld, Anchorman, etc.) return to the viewing rotation, I know I'm coming out of it.
Worst way I broke up with someone was having to show up at his place with my suitcases. I was packing stuff up quickly right in front of him for about ten minutes, and he finally bothers to ask, "Hey, what's going on?" I kept right on packing after the tears started, walked out and never looked back.
Breakups are my forte. I endured three with the same asshole (maybe I was the asshole for continuing to go back to him).
I dealt with it by flirting with anyone and everyone in sight, taking frequent trips to the self-help section of Barnes and Noble (sample purchase: "It's Called a Break UP not a Breakdown" - feel free to mock) and getting trashed with my friends, then crying about how shitty I felt.
Worst was being dumped on my birthday and having to move out of house that night. It also happened to be the weekend before my best friend's bachelorette and two weeks before her wedding which - brilliantly - was also Valentine's Day.
Second worst was being broken up with while staying at my boyfriend's parents house. That was fun. This breakup was the hardest to get over and I still love him now.
I'm an out of sight out of mind type. I find it really difficult to get over someone I keep seeing. Facebook makes that hard.
I stopped eating and read Stephen King novels visualizing the evil bad guy as my ex- and listened to Joni Mitchell's Blue album. Now that I am happily married, I eat because I love to cook and read novels that make me laugh and listen to whatever the grandchild has downloaded on my ipod.
I go on Revenge Self-Improvement benders. Exercise more, read more books, get better jobs, try new things. Things are great with The Huz so now I just accrue awesomeness for its own sake. But I have to admit that most of my current good habits stemmed from an "I'll show HIM!" motive. Sad. Still fun to be smug about it, though. :)
Always been the dumper for the most part. I was told I had guy tendencies. I would hook a guy then get bored with them and move on to the next. Then I got married and while I am a natural flirt and still do it without realizing, my husband is all I ever wanted once he got his shit straight and grew up.
I have always been a needy, clingy, icky basketcase after a breakup. With one exception, I have always been the dumpee, too. So no more. I haven't dated in 2 1/2 years, haven't had a real relationship in 4 years, and I may never do it again. I just don't think I'm good at it, and I definitely have no business even trying until I can learn not to...well, not to be a needy, clingy icky basketcase should things go south.
I was dumped on my 21st birthday, after I had invited all of HIS friends to my party. I was dumped the day we had to put down my dog of 16 years. I've been dumped on Memorial Day, Flag Day...and probably some other holidays I'm forgetting.
I was usually the dumper. I'm very honest with myself and the other person about the state of said union.
I would state what wasn't working for me and get the others input as to whether or not a change could be made, if not, life's too short and I'm gone.
I don't look back and have no association with any ex's. I've been married for many, many years now to the perfect man for me. I'm glad I got rid of the ones that were not the *one*.
A partition action, seven years and still going for a house worth only $175g, and where I put down 108g and he has only paid 5-7 mortgage payments between '04-07 (when he moved out).
My attorney fees will in the end be more then what this clown's fighting for.
I relate a GREAT deal to the scenes in "Something's got to Give" when Diane Keaton wakes up, realizes she doesn't have Harry, cries in the shower, while working, walking....I am very dramatic when I am hurting.
The best way to get over a break-up is revenge as far as I'm concerned. It usually starts with some very immature comments and such, but then it quickly goes to me being happier without them and moving on with my life. That is always the best revenge!
Though just this past weekend/week I have done a lot of the revenge and mean stuff. This guy that I always thought I was in love with (friends for 20 years) and dated for a couple months back this Spring when I was going through my freshly separated status from my soon to be ex-husband and he was supposedly going through the same thing with his soon to be ex-wife. Anyways he cheated on me back at the end of March with the not quite ex (happened to be the week that my brother committed suicide so yah that was great). After that I thought I was done with him but he would contact me every few weeks trying to get me back and I would either completely ignore him or rip him a new one and tell him to leave me alone. Well a few weeks ago he tried to contact me and after a couple weeks he started to charm his way back in, but not enough that I believed him. He swore to me that he would prove to me that he was done with not quite so ex-wife and blah blah blah. I told him fine - prove it to me but I'm not putting my life on hold for you so I'm going to continue to date others like I have been. Long story short on Saturday night he was messaging me and the not quite yet ex-wife got suspicious and caught him. Next thing I know everything is blowing up and I ended up with a phone call from her apologizing for all of the threats and nastiness she has done to me over the past 8 months and she wanted to talk. We started talking and compared lots of notes. Let's just say he is screwed now and me and her are becoming friends and actually like each other. She told me that at least he has good taste. He hasn't known what has hit him because it's usually bad enough to have one scorned woman on your hands but two is even worse! Oh and his birthday was on Tuesday and we made sure that he had a memorable one. LOL
Spellbound - totally want to hear what happpened on his birthday .. yes, so I live completely vicariously (happily in love, it's a boringly brilliantly love thing) - seriously killer story til the cliff-hanger! Tell!
@Sherry The New Man Might See Me Naked Diet always worked for me
@Alex T I kept vocabulary index cards copied from Reader's Digest Word Power in my purse and tried to convince people I was interested in Sanskrit after my ex-husband and I split up. That blind about racism is quite vociferous. BAM!
I found out my ex was sleeping with half the town, and there was talk of a sex tape...WTF. I lost my appetite and ended up fainting. The girls took me out as much as they could and I faked it until I felt it. I met the most amazing man 18 months later. My uncles new wife told me about what she did to her ex husband. He was caught frequenting a local brothel by a neighbour who promptly told my new aunt in law. She had a 3 year old baby and a 6 month old at the time. He begged and pleaded for forgiveness and she told him she would try. She wanted him tested and he needed to shave completely as she was scared of crabs. He booked a hospital appointment, went upstairs and shaved himself bald.
When he came downstairs in his towel he saw black bags outside and the door open. She physically kicked his ass out the door and she never looked back. I laughed so hard when she told me.
Funny thing is, the hooker he used to see regularly is now his partner.
I wrote about my worst breakup in another Your Turn. Basically, I was dumped by my fiancé and he didn't have the guts to tell me - he just didn't call. I got over that easy. - I was more pissed and humiliated. I lost weight and rebounded with anothe guy.
Unfortunately, the guy I rebounded with was abusive. He got cancer and I stood by him but his mom yelling at me over his hospital bed did me in. I broke up with him. We eventually got back together and he died. I took a very long time to grieve that miserable relationship.
A guy I worked with asked me to his prom. I agreed to go with him, but I thought it was as a friend. The year before two different guys asked me to their proms and I said no, and I felt bad about it. I figured what the heck this time around. Well, the guy introduced me to his principal as his girlfriend, and told him we were probably going to end up married since we were going off to the same college. He worked at the same sleep away camp that summer as a good friend of mine and I found out he plastered the bunk with my photos. Jumping ahead to September he ended up in the dorm next door to me. I couldn't shake him, no matter how hard I tried. I finally took one of the prom photos of us and glued a photo of Frank Perdue over his face. It got back to him immediately and I spent the next four years trying to avoid his glare. I felt awful, but I could not get rid of him no matter how hard I tried.
Badly. I fall apart. I dont' take rejection or rejecting at all well. I drink a lot. i used to do a lot of drugs but i'm a bit old for that now. never say never though. valium is always good. i have to delete their number so i don't go overboard. all the usual stalky stuff. but it doesn't last long.
As a young un i used to behave so badly that someone would break up with me cos i didn't know how to do it.
I've been dumped in the middle of the street out with a group of friends. i've been dumped by phone. i know someone who was dumped by email.
One of my friends was dumped when her SO changed his status on facebook. and refused to ever talk to her about why or what or whatever.
One guy told his girlfriend that he had moved to adelaide and he didn't leave the house for a few months. she was crushed when she found out but there were reasons he did it like that.
I was in a band and had my very first live-in boyfriend. We had a gig come up that fell on my birthday out-of-state. He wouldn't come along, as he professed to hate our singer. But in reality, He was busy getting another girl pregnant in MY bed, on MY birthday. I threw him out, and even though she got abortion #8(!!!)- he then went on to MARRY her- which lasted less than a year. The worst part is, I had to find out that he had done this when his darling little 12 yr. old sister called me sobbing her heart out, very confused and asking why her brother had gotten this girl pregnant (I was VERY close w/his 2 young sisters). She BEGGED me not to break up with him because she loved me and would never see me again, but she was too young to understand the ramifications. She blamed herself for our breakup and took things very hard- which I also place squarely on my ex-boyfriend's shoulders; discussing getting a girl pregnant with his parents and the 2 children in the room? Just horrible.
well at the time each one seems like, "the worst". i think i'm hardened to love now, don't think i'll need any new ways to get over a guy...
my method of getting over guys is fool-proof! once i'm done, or they have announced they are done, 1) i write a list of every freaking thing they ever did that annoyed me. a friend (or two) might be enlisted to help if i have a hard time with this. every time i think about the ex; i read the list. the WHOLE list. it gets old to read the crap they have done. 2) you must take all reminders of the ex out of your line of vision. no pictures, gifts, items of clothing, grooming products, etc. everything goes in a box and then in the garage. you may deal w/it when a friend agrees that you are over the ex. 3) no calling facebook stalking, driving by their house, etc. if you want to do any of these things; read the list. within a week, they will seem like a real asshole. you will still have a "pull" to the ex (old habits die hard) but its a new start. the last time i did this, when i finally opened the box of "his stuff", i either couldn't remember why i had kept it, or i couldn't remember why it was special to me. break-ups suck.
Here's a different type of story. My siblings and I almost didn't exist, because my dad thought my mom broke up with him when she didn't.
They had their first date, and it was nice, my dad thought. He called her for a second date and she said no.
She didn't explain that she had a young-adult youth group thing, or suggest another possible day; she didn't even indicate that she'd enjoyed the first date; she just said she was unavailable to see him again (on the day he suggested, which she didn't clarify).
So my dad "took the hint" (which wasn't one) and didn't pursue her, believing it to be over.
They met again months later at mutual family-friends' wedding, and my mom was quite chatty to my dad, which confused him. Hadn't she already turned him down? Well, he asked her out again, and the rest is history.
OT rant about my mom: To this day, my mom always thinks you know the whole story of ANYTHING when she only tells you one part of it. The worst example to date, she didn't tell my father his mother had passed away. She just announced that my dad's brother felt they should have their mother's funeral on a certain date to allow travel time. My dad, knowing his mother was ill and wondering if maybe people were planning a funeral they knew was forthcoming, had to ASK if his mother was in fact dead. Another time she called my sister-in-law to cancel dinner plans. My sister in law wondered what day would work better, and my mom said, "well, I don't know when dad will be out of the hospital." And that's how we found out my father had had a heart attack. To me, these things should be the START of the story, not the hidden explanation. So, yeah, back to the "breakup that wasn't" story, she just told my dad NO, not, "Oh, I had fun too, but I have something else scheduled that day. Maybe you'd like to come to? Or we could pick another day, because I'd like to see you again, too." Just, No. SMH.
Music and movies helps. The worst and meanest way I found out was when I called him and he said he wanted to introduce me to his new girlfriend and then put her on the phone. After that I dated a little here and there but got tired of being disappointed and gave up. I love when love works out but it never will for me and I'm pretty much okay with that.
I was a wedding coordinator and at his freinds wedding I was in charge of he dumped me after 7.5 years and we lived together. I had to deal with the wedding while trying to keep my shit together. It took me several weeks till I could get into an apt and he was bringing home girls while I was still there. It was a mess and I could not eat or weight just fell off and I got down to a size 0, that was good. Same after my divorce I ate but the stress of the divorce just sped up my metabolism and I got down to a size 2. So looking good when the X's run into you is the best revenge. And the line from sex and the city that I have not done yet, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else", classic.
I used to call upon Jack Daniels to keep me company and sing along with Gloria G "I WILL SURVIVE". The entire song, over and over again until the bottle was finished. Worked for me. Bad hangover, though.
ReplyDeleteOne word: The Albanian.
ReplyDeleteI had a really terrible breakup, and it took a year and finally getting out of town for a while to get me almost better. Ten years later, still not so absolutely over it.
ReplyDeleteVicki- belated Happy BDay !
ReplyDeleteSpank you!
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend of 9 years told me that when he was in his early teens, he and his brother used to "mess around with eachother" (brother is 2 years younger). So that was the end of that, 6 months ago.
ReplyDeleteWhat timing. I just got this this morning from I guy I have been talking to for 2 weeks and have gone out with. Just talked to him last night and things were going good ( do I thought).
ReplyDelete" Amy. I don't feel this is right. We have such different lifestyles. Sorry. Andrew ".
Yeah. II don't get it at all. It's been a bum day
Write embarrassingly bad poetry.
ReplyDeleteI always find comfort in Modest Mouse's album "good news for people who love bad news" its helped me thru 2 breakups and one friendship breakup. Lots of ice cream too.
ReplyDeleteOver the phone after over 9 years and with a wedding 6 months away (Yeah he was working abroad but I think after that amount of time forking out for a plane ticket wasn't too much to ask).
ReplyDeleteGot over it by holing up at home with a box set of House for a week then scrubbed myself up and started going out and having fun with my friends :D
I might like that...
ReplyDeleteListen to Mary Chapin Carpenter (she's my go-to music for good days or bad days), drink wine, eat fried potatoes.
ReplyDeleteOnly time got me over him. (he was supposed to call me when he got home. He must have hit the North Pole by now...
Best revenge: Living well. Oh, yeah. Knowing that I'm happy now, in a way that I would NEVER have been happy with him. The guy that I'm with now Is The Best! Such a keeper.
How? Work 2 full time jobs. No time to sulk. Too tired to sulk
ReplyDeleteThen
Money for SHOE SHOPPING!!!
Vodka
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Vicki.
ReplyDeleteI can't eat when I'm hurt. Things get weird after a few days of not eating, but the weight loss is great!
Eat, scream, overshare on Facebook. *L*
ReplyDeleteThe best way to get over someone is to get under someone.
ReplyDeleteI hibernate.
ReplyDeleteWorst breakup: During college I was dating this guy for about 2 years...we were unofficially engaged. We lived apart for the last year, because he had to travel abroad. When he returned he was living back home with his parents. One evening, his best friend called to check up on me and something was off. So later on I called my BF and his mom told he that earlier that day he had eloped with a girl he only knew for 2 weeks. His mom didn't like me that much but after this, I became a saint in her eyes.
he got his though..she became schitzophenic and went on crazed benders and was paranoid about me. She threw away anything he had that reminded him of me and was convinced I was calling their house and stalking her, even though I lived 4 hours away.
25 years later, I realized she ws the best thing to have happened to me. He's just as nuts as she is.
Ugh, I devolve into a pile of sadness. Once I lost my tastebuds for four days.
ReplyDeleteUsually I just mope around, drink a lot, and engage in a lot of one-night stands. This is not a productive way to deal with a breakup.
I've been married for over 20 years. Don't remember what it felt like. Yeah, I'm boring!
ReplyDeleteI'm horrible. I've always been the dumper and not the dumpee. Quit while you're ahead! Oh and to get over a broken heart I would usually date a lot!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah I then go on the "new man might see me naked diet".
ReplyDeleteVodka and Sex and the City.
ReplyDeleteWhen comedies (Seinfeld, Anchorman, etc.) return to the viewing rotation, I know I'm coming out of it.
Worst way I broke up with someone was having to show up at his place with my suitcases. I was packing stuff up quickly right in front of him for about ten minutes, and he finally bothers to ask, "Hey, what's going on?" I kept right on packing after the tears started, walked out and never looked back.
By tears, I mean his. I was a cold, hard b**** with that guy.
ReplyDeleteBreakups are my forte. I endured three with the same asshole (maybe I was the asshole for continuing to go back to him).
ReplyDeleteI dealt with it by flirting with anyone and everyone in sight, taking frequent trips to the self-help section of Barnes and Noble (sample purchase: "It's Called a Break UP not a Breakdown" - feel free to mock) and getting trashed with my friends, then crying about how shitty I felt.
In the end, the only thing that helped was time.
Didn't we do this last week?
ReplyDeleteWorst was being dumped on my birthday and having to move out of house that night. It also happened to be the weekend before my best friend's bachelorette and two weeks before her wedding which - brilliantly - was also Valentine's Day.
Second worst was being broken up with while staying at my boyfriend's parents house. That was fun. This breakup was the hardest to get over and I still love him now.
I'm an out of sight out of mind type. I find it really difficult to get over someone I keep seeing. Facebook makes that hard.
I stopped eating and read Stephen King novels visualizing the evil bad guy as my ex- and listened to Joni Mitchell's Blue album. Now that I am happily married, I eat because I love to cook and read novels that make me laugh and listen to whatever the grandchild has downloaded on my ipod.
ReplyDeleteI go on Revenge Self-Improvement benders. Exercise more, read more books, get better jobs, try new things. Things are great with The Huz so now I just accrue awesomeness for its own sake. But I have to admit that most of my current good habits stemmed from an "I'll show HIM!" motive. Sad. Still fun to be smug about it, though. :)
ReplyDeleteAlways been the dumper for the most part. I was told I had guy tendencies. I would hook a guy then get bored with them and move on to the next. Then I got married and while I am a natural flirt and still do it without realizing, my husband is all I ever wanted once he got his shit straight and grew up.
ReplyDeleteI have always been a needy, clingy, icky basketcase after a breakup. With one exception, I have always been the dumpee, too. So no more. I haven't dated in 2 1/2 years, haven't had a real relationship in 4 years, and I may never do it again. I just don't think I'm good at it, and I definitely have no business even trying until I can learn not to...well, not to be a needy, clingy icky basketcase should things go south.
ReplyDeleteI was dumped on my 21st birthday, after I had invited all of HIS friends to my party. I was dumped the day we had to put down my dog of 16 years. I've been dumped on Memorial Day, Flag Day...and probably some other holidays I'm forgetting.
I don't want to think about it anymore. Blerg.
I was usually the dumper. I'm very honest with myself and the other person about the state of said union.
ReplyDeleteI would state what wasn't working for me and get the others input as to whether or not a change could be made, if not, life's too short and I'm gone.
I don't look back and have no association with any ex's. I've been married for many, many years now to the perfect man for me. I'm glad I got rid of the ones that were not the *one*.
The best way to get over a breakup is to keep busy, wallow a little but not publicly but then keep busy, busy, busy.
ReplyDelete@AKM I think you may be me :-)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteA partition action, seven years and still going for a house worth only $175g, and where I put down 108g and he has only paid 5-7 mortgage payments between '04-07 (when he moved out).
ReplyDeleteMy attorney fees will in the end be more then what this clown's fighting for.
I relate a GREAT deal to the scenes in "Something's got to Give" when Diane Keaton wakes up, realizes she doesn't have Harry, cries in the shower, while working, walking....I am very dramatic when I am hurting.
ReplyDeleteI should add....I've tried to settle, even have him buy me out, but he refuses to settle for less than 100g.
ReplyDeleteI broke up with someone by telling them I needed to take my cat to the vet. I didn't have a cat.
ReplyDelete"Better Things" - Bouncing Souls is my default breakup/shitty day song
Liaten to Bob Dylan. He has so many good breakup songs.
ReplyDeleteThe best way to get over a break-up is revenge as far as I'm concerned. It usually starts with some very immature comments and such, but then it quickly goes to me being happier without them and moving on with my life. That is always the best revenge!
ReplyDeleteThough just this past weekend/week I have done a lot of the revenge and mean stuff. This guy that I always thought I was in love with (friends for 20 years) and dated for a couple months back this Spring when I was going through my freshly separated status from my soon to be ex-husband and he was supposedly going through the same thing with his soon to be ex-wife. Anyways he cheated on me back at the end of March with the not quite ex (happened to be the week that my brother committed suicide so yah that was great). After that I thought I was done with him but he would contact me every few weeks trying to get me back and I would either completely ignore him or rip him a new one and tell him to leave me alone. Well a few weeks ago he tried to contact me and after a couple weeks he started to charm his way back in, but not enough that I believed him. He swore to me that he would prove to me that he was done with not quite so ex-wife and blah blah blah. I told him fine - prove it to me but I'm not putting my life on hold for you so I'm going to continue to date others like I have been. Long story short on Saturday night he was messaging me and the not quite yet ex-wife got suspicious and caught him. Next thing I know everything is blowing up and I ended up with a phone call from her apologizing for all of the threats and nastiness she has done to me over the past 8 months and she wanted to talk. We started talking and compared lots of notes. Let's just say he is screwed now and me and her are becoming friends and actually like each other. She told me that at least he has good taste. He hasn't known what has hit him because it's usually bad enough to have one scorned woman on your hands but two is even worse! Oh and his birthday was on Tuesday and we made sure that he had a memorable one. LOL
Spellbound - totally want to hear what happpened on his birthday .. yes, so I live completely vicariously (happily in love, it's a boringly brilliantly love thing) - seriously killer story til the cliff-hanger! Tell!
Delete@Sherry
ReplyDeleteThe New Man Might See Me Naked Diet always worked for me
@Alex T
I kept vocabulary index cards copied from Reader's Digest Word Power in my purse and tried to convince people I was interested in Sanskrit after my ex-husband and I split up.
That blind about racism is quite vociferous. BAM!
I found out my ex was sleeping with half the town, and there was talk of a sex tape...WTF. I lost my appetite and ended up fainting. The girls took me out as much as they could and I faked it until I felt it. I met the most amazing man 18 months later. My uncles new wife told me about what she did to her ex husband. He was caught frequenting a local brothel by a neighbour who promptly told my new aunt in law. She had a 3 year old baby and a 6 month old at the time. He begged and pleaded for forgiveness and she told him she would try. She wanted him tested and he needed to shave completely as she was scared of crabs. He booked a hospital appointment, went upstairs and shaved himself bald.
ReplyDeleteWhen he came downstairs in his towel he saw black bags outside and the door open. She physically kicked his ass out the door and she never looked back. I laughed so hard when she told me.
Funny thing is, the hooker he used to see regularly is now his partner.
This is deja vu! I usually have to find another guy when there is a break-up. I will pine until the slot is filled.
ReplyDeleteI wrote about my worst breakup in another Your Turn. Basically, I was dumped by my fiancé and he didn't have the guts to tell me - he just didn't call. I got over that easy. - I was more pissed and humiliated. I lost weight and rebounded with anothe guy.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the guy I rebounded with was abusive. He got cancer and I stood by him but his mom yelling at me over his hospital bed did me in. I broke up with him. We eventually got back together and he died. I took a very long time to grieve that miserable relationship.
When I broke up with my ex-husband, I planned a trip overseas & visited America for the first time. Thank you USA!
ReplyDeleteA guy I worked with asked me to his prom. I agreed to go with him, but I thought it was as a friend. The year before two different guys asked me to their proms and I said no, and I felt bad about it. I figured what the heck this time around.
ReplyDeleteWell, the guy introduced me to his principal as his girlfriend, and told him we were probably going to end up married since we were going off to the same college. He worked at the same sleep away camp that summer as a good friend of mine and I found out he plastered the bunk with my photos.
Jumping ahead to September he ended up in the dorm next door to me. I couldn't shake him, no matter how hard I tried. I finally took one of the prom photos of us and glued a photo of Frank Perdue over his face. It got back to him immediately and I spent the next four years trying to avoid his glare. I felt awful, but I could not get rid of him no matter how hard I tried.
Badly. I fall apart. I dont' take rejection or rejecting at all well. I drink a lot. i used to do a lot of drugs but i'm a bit old for that now. never say never though. valium is always good. i have to delete their number so i don't go overboard. all the usual stalky stuff. but it doesn't last long.
ReplyDeleteAs a young un i used to behave so badly that someone would break up with me cos i didn't know how to do it.
I've been dumped in the middle of the street out with a group of friends. i've been dumped by phone. i know someone who was dumped by email.
One of my friends was dumped when her SO changed his status on facebook. and refused to ever talk to her about why or what or whatever.
One guy told his girlfriend that he had moved to adelaide and he didn't leave the house for a few months. she was crushed when she found out but there were reasons he did it like that.
I was in a band and had my very first live-in boyfriend. We had a gig come up that fell on my birthday out-of-state. He wouldn't come along, as he professed to hate our singer. But in reality, He was busy getting another girl pregnant in MY bed, on MY birthday. I threw him out, and even though she got abortion #8(!!!)- he then went on to MARRY her- which lasted less than a year. The worst part is, I had to find out that he had done this when his darling little 12 yr. old sister called me sobbing her heart out, very confused and asking why her brother had gotten this girl pregnant (I was VERY close w/his 2 young sisters). She BEGGED me not to break up with him because she loved me and would never see me again, but she was too young to understand the ramifications. She blamed herself for our breakup and took things very hard- which I also place squarely on my ex-boyfriend's shoulders; discussing getting a girl pregnant with his parents and the 2 children in the room? Just horrible.
ReplyDeletewell at the time each one seems like, "the worst". i think i'm hardened to love now, don't think i'll need any new ways to get over a guy...
ReplyDeletemy method of getting over guys is fool-proof! once i'm done, or they have announced they are done, 1) i write a list of every freaking thing they ever did that annoyed me. a friend (or two) might be enlisted to help if i have a hard time with this. every time i think about the ex; i read the list. the WHOLE list. it gets old to read the crap they have done.
2) you must take all reminders of the ex out of your line of vision. no pictures, gifts, items of clothing, grooming products, etc. everything goes in a box and then in the garage. you may deal w/it when a friend agrees that you are over the ex. 3) no calling facebook stalking, driving by their house, etc. if you want to do any of these things; read the list.
within a week, they will seem like a real asshole. you will still have a "pull" to the ex (old habits die hard) but its a new start.
the last time i did this, when i finally opened the box of "his stuff", i either couldn't remember why i had kept it, or i couldn't remember why it was special to me. break-ups suck.
Here's a different type of story. My siblings and I almost didn't exist, because my dad thought my mom broke up with him when she didn't.
ReplyDeleteThey had their first date, and it was nice, my dad thought. He called her for a second date and she said no.
She didn't explain that she had a young-adult youth group thing, or suggest another possible day; she didn't even indicate that she'd enjoyed the first date; she just said she was unavailable to see him again (on the day he suggested, which she didn't clarify).
So my dad "took the hint" (which wasn't one) and didn't pursue her, believing it to be over.
They met again months later at mutual family-friends' wedding, and my mom was quite chatty to my dad, which confused him. Hadn't she already turned him down? Well, he asked her out again, and the rest is history.
OT rant about my mom: To this day, my mom always thinks you know the whole story of ANYTHING when she only tells you one part of it. The worst example to date, she didn't tell my father his mother had passed away. She just announced that my dad's brother felt they should have their mother's funeral on a certain date to allow travel time. My dad, knowing his mother was ill and wondering if maybe people were planning a funeral they knew was forthcoming, had to ASK if his mother was in fact dead. Another time she called my sister-in-law to cancel dinner plans. My sister in law wondered what day would work better, and my mom said, "well, I don't know when dad will be out of the hospital." And that's how we found out my father had had a heart attack. To me, these things should be the START of the story, not the hidden explanation. So, yeah, back to the "breakup that wasn't" story, she just told my dad NO, not, "Oh, I had fun too, but I have something else scheduled that day. Maybe you'd like to come to? Or we could pick another day, because I'd like to see you again, too." Just, No.
SMH.
Music and movies helps.
ReplyDeleteThe worst and meanest way I found out was when I called him and he said he wanted to introduce me to his new girlfriend and then put her on the phone.
After that I dated a little here and there but got tired of being disappointed and gave up. I love when love works out but it never will for me and I'm pretty much okay with that.
I was a wedding coordinator and at his freinds wedding I was in charge of he dumped me after 7.5 years and we lived together. I had to deal with the wedding while trying to keep my shit together. It took me several weeks till I could get into an apt and he was bringing home girls while I was still there. It was a mess and I could not eat or weight just fell off and I got down to a size 0, that was good. Same after my divorce I ate but the stress of the divorce just sped up my metabolism and I got down to a size 2. So looking good when the X's run into you is the best revenge. And the line from sex and the city that I have not done yet, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else", classic.
ReplyDelete