Not even a text from John Mayer to Katy Perry. Nope, he decided to break up with her via e-mail. Do you think maybe he has some form letter saved on his e-mail that he can just copy and paste? That would probably work. He probably spent hours perfecting each time he breaks up with someone after they sleep with him. Katy should give Jessica Simpson a call or Jennifer Aniston and see if they got an e-mail and compare it to hers. I bet you they are remarkably similar. Do you think he ever forgot to change the name? I wonder if he even bothers to type in the name just so that does not occur. I think if you have sex with someone you should at least make a phone call. If you fear they are going to be mean, then a text. At least that is kind of coming from you. An e-mail though? It is like sending out mass resumes.
Klassy!
ReplyDeleteI can see it now...
ReplyDeleteDear Applicant,
Thank you so much for your interest in my penis. While your body was indeed a wonderland, we feel that your vagina does not suit our needs. Good luck in your endeavors in the future.
Sincerely,
John Mayer
Bwa ha haa! Brilliant!
DeleteGenius! This made my day! LOL!!!
DeleteGenius! This made my day! LOL!!!
DeleteHahaha!!!
DeleteVicki wins!!! Hahahaha.
DeleteOmg @Vicki! I was eating a carrot and nearly choked! :-)
Delete^^^^^hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteGood. I hate Katy Perry's annoying self. She's always seemed to me like a full grown ass woman living a life of stunted adolescence. And it's her own damn fault for going with John Mayer. Seriously I don't know what the bitch was thinking.
ReplyDeletefunny email!
ReplyDeleteI remember the sex and the city episode where sjp was dumped via post it.
mayer is harsh. but, its not like there weren't red flags about his douchbaggery.
@Vicky, that was awesome! Perez was reporting that he dumped her because of her hard partying ways. Maybe that was what ended her marriage as well.
ReplyDeleteThat's trashy.
ReplyDeleteI heard Mayer did it 'old school'; he sent a breakup note via carrier pigeon trained to take a dump on her head as it departed.
ReplyDeleteCan't stand him and his inflated ego..
ReplyDeleteCan't stand him and his inflated ego..
ReplyDeleteCan't stand either of them... at all. But if this girl thought she was gong to jump into a long term relationship with this guy just after divorcing that other guy, then she is a bigger fool than she looks. Which is hard to top.
ReplyDeleteYou know, maybe she's not upset by this - meaning, maybe she was in it to have a good time and not looking for anything serious right now.
ReplyDeleteBut still, it's a shitty thing to do to someone.
Whats the difference email/text either way its on your phone. He probably typed it in while he was at a stoplight in traffic.
ReplyDeleteI break up with as little contact as possible. A text is great then you can block them and not read all the ridiculousness they write back:-)
I don't like talking on the phone because they beg and whine or curse you out. NEVER in person because then they can put their hands on you. Sadly I learned these lessons the hard way:-(
he probably has underling send the breakup letter, after she blows him ugh, just when you thought he could not get any more classless, he tops himself. I wld enjoy moratorium on this butthole.
ReplyDeleteVicki, that was brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI got dumped by email once. It would have been fine, except that I didn't check my email before going out - saw him, and figured we were still together. AWKWARD, especially when he asked if I'd checked my email before I left the house.
Oh, Vicki, you are hilarious!
ReplyDeletePerhaps I'm missing something but didn't they go out just a few times? Can one really be "dumped" when they're not part of a couple?
Vicki- your letter was a riot. Why is KP such a dumbass, anyway? These dumbasses and all their $ and privilege make me nuts! Could they possibly do something important somewhere for someone??? Anyway, I will continue to feel smugly superior to them as I peruse gossip and scrape by on my teacher's salary- ha!ha!
ReplyDeleteI cant stand John Mayer, but c'mon Katy! Even teenyboppers know his rep! If you're looking for love, you aint gonna find it with that jackass.
ReplyDeleteSad thing is this will not slow him down one bit. He will bang a chick by lunch. They will never learn.
ReplyDeleteI think it is a mistake to classify what they had as a "relationship". I think, based on the duration of the experience, it would more appropriately categorized as a "hookup". I also think it's sad that people can't just hang out or hook up any more. We had something when I was a youngster called "playing the field", and we thought it was a good thing. Go out with a bunch of people and figure out what you liked before you got involved in a serious relationship.
ReplyDelete@KZoeT
ReplyDeletereally????? AWKWARD :S jejeje
I think its pretty coward too! if you have the guts to have a fling with someone at least have the balls to tell them your not compatible to the face!
maturity issues...
I learned the hard way never to write anything serious regarding feelings through email :/
When John Mayer is telling you that you party too hard for his taste then you may want to stop and re-evaluate your life.......I'm just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteyou know his emails just start with ''TO WHOMEVER IT MAY CONCERN''
ReplyDeleteI think it is just all part of John's headgames. Just becuase he breaks up with you means it's over. He will mess with Katy's head for the next several months, hooking back up, dumping her again, rinse and repeat.
ReplyDeleteWhat would be awesome if Katy doesn't play into it and walks away. But if rumors are true, women get dicktamized by his 9 inch penis and dont' want to give it up.
He isn't happy until the girl is a groveling mess on Oprah.
At the rate he's going through all the female singers, we're going to be enjoying the "We Are the World" of female revenge songs in about another 6 months.
ReplyDeleteWhocaresnow! Glad to see you here! :)
ReplyDelete"Not even a text from John Mayer to Katy Perry. Nope, he decided to break up with her via e-mail."
ReplyDeleteI think an email is actually a teeny bit more personal than a text. I don't care what anyone says, though; a breakup should always be face-to-face. It's just the only acceptable way; email/text/phone is for cowards.
Although, like surfer said, maybe it was just a fling for both of 'em and she doesn't give a shit. I hope that's the case.
Will never get females' infatuation with this guy. It'd be one thing if women kept getting used by even though he was a douche - BUT WAS HOT. But he's not. He's a pudgy, pale, ugly dude. He's not that talented either, so.... ????????
ReplyDeleteHalle, there's an article on Cracked that talks about him being a badass guitarist.
ReplyDeleteHe makes me heave, but I have to admit, he's damn good on the guitar.
Headline:
ReplyDelete"John Mayer Dumped Katy Perry Via E-Mail"
You know, as opposed to dumping ON her right?
Maybe she was pissed off - as opposed to be pissed ON?
Dearest Vicky? That was classic!
@Himmmm haha! And also, ewwww. I keep trying to forget I ever heard about that.
DeleteJohn Mayer is a douchebag, although I do think Katy has proven a lack of wisdom by not researching Mayer... or ignoring said research.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little sad that Katy didn't do the dumping and out his coprophilia.
Email and text are childish ways to break up. Be a fucking grown up and do it in person.
Hey guys, long time lurker.... I just had to research coprophilia on wiki and this is what it said:
ReplyDelete"Eating feces is also known as coprophagia. This is bad for one's body. A person who eats feces is at risk of getting sick through hepatitis, infection, and AIDS. Those with a weak immune system should not eat feces. There is also social problems with eating feces. It causes bad breath and is a taboo." no jk.... lolz *dead*
Hi Dija! Funny shit! (Ewwww!)
ReplyDeleteHow do we know this is true? I mean, it's not that I doubt it, it's just that it's one of those humiliating things that I wouldn't share with even a best friend.
ReplyDeleteHi LetLoveRule! I know gross but funny lol
ReplyDeleteMango, if I recall correctly, Mayer allegedly left some very convincing 'evidence' *gag* in a hotel room. Someone better at searching than I am can probably back this up.
ReplyDeleteWait. So the hierarchy of communication goes like this?
ReplyDelete1. Face to face.
2. Handwritten letter. (It's a beautiful thing. Don't knock it!)
3. Telephone call.
4. Text.
5. Email.
Get the eff out of here, Enty. No way in hell is texting abbreviations more sincere than an email. Of course, if you use either way to break up with someone you are hands down the biggest wussy (feel free to change the w to a p. I can't say the word. I'm very Charlotte York like that.)in the entire universe.
I also think these two were just hooking up. A couple to me indicates holidays together, expected dates and you meet the parents/family/inner circle.
One of my friends just had the email break-up. They then spoke on the phone, but she was really hurt.
ReplyDeleteOne of the guys I work with is into bums, as in his nickname is arse licker. To each their own.
Atleast you cant get STDs thru email. Bullet dodged KP!
ReplyDeleteMayer is a really talented super badass guitarist. I own all his music, its good and bluesy. Its a shame he has such unclean habits.
Wow. Dumped by both Russell Brand AND John Meyer. The two most famously slutt guys in HWood today. Her self esteem must be having a great year. I don't care how self confident you are, that should force you to re-examine your choices/life.
ReplyDelete@dija star
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, welcome
Secondly, does he EAT the poo, or just do the poo. I have to know this!
eh. consider the source. did anyone really think he'd take her to dinner, buy her some jewlery and thank her for the memories? he's a douche, so he does douch-ie stuff. if that spice girl pretends to have a broken heart i will puke.
ReplyDelete