Michael Lohan & Kate Major Are Having A Baby
The end of the world may be upon us. There is about to be another Lohan offspring and not only will it have the genes of Michael Lohan, but to make matters even worse, it is going to be part Kate Major. Yes, the couple that hates each other more than they like each other is having a baby. Considering that Michael was barred from seeing Kate until two or three weeks ago, he probably broke the law getting her pregnant. He might as well go to jail now, because there is no way they will make it nine months without one of them going to jail. This would make child number 6 for Michael, including the four he had with Dina, the one he had with the woman he cheated on Dina with and now this one he is having with Carrie.
Oh. Dear. God.
ReplyDeleteNow THERE'S a good idea!
ReplyDeleteIs it still Friday the 13th?
ReplyDeleteI hope she can quit drinking during the pregnancy. Michael himself stated she was a hopeless alcoholic. Guess she fits right in with the Blohans.
ReplyDeleteIs it me or does she look like a cross between 2007 Britney and Tara Reid after a 3 day bender in the Bahamas?
ReplyDeleteOH GOD NO!
ReplyDeleteFor the love of xenu...
ReplyDeleteGTFOH.
ReplyDeleteArent they like in their 40's???? Wth?? I know such a nice couple thst cant get pregnant, and these two guttersnipes hv no problem??!! I think it is one if the seven signs! "when the spawns of hell procreate, endtimes are upon us.". Ugh x a billion!
ReplyDelete@Vicki - you nailed it. Perfect description of the photo.
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit scared for their offspring, what with their violent history and all. Poor baby!
If this wasn't clearly an accident, I'd think that Michael Lohan did it on purpose. "Sixth time's the charm! Maybe one of these will turn out okay!" Yeah, if it's adopted away from them.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know Idiocracy was a documentary...
ReplyDeleteOn a grosser note, I thought that was a photo of him and LiHo at first. That would be whole different film.
Hahahahaa….This post is funny!!!...This is a joke, right?
ReplyDeleteWho is Kate Major anyway?
ReplyDeleteWho is Carrie?
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine went to college with Kate and didn't have the best things to say about her. She actually had a semi-respectable job as a reported (for a tabloid, but still) before she threw it all away to be with Jon Gosselin. Then she downgraded even further to be with Michael Lohan...
ReplyDeleteFormer Star reporter and former GF of Jon Gosselin. Gross!!!
ReplyDelete*reporter, not reported
ReplyDelete@rejectedcarebear hahaha. For the love of xenu. I'm so using that. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteI hope CPS stakes out the delivery room. FFS.
ReplyDeleteI thought at first that Michael and Lindsay also.
ReplyDeleteA whole other movie indeed.
This is a fucking travesty! Human trash like this make a strong case for why we need breeding licenses. If you need one to drive a car, you definitely need one to fucking breed. This is just totally vile. They fight every day, verbal and physical, are junkies, Michael and Dina exploited and ruined two of their children so far. It's just upsetting to hear this news.
ReplyDeleteYes, who is Carrie? Is that a nickname for Kate, or a typo on Enty's part? Just caught that...
ReplyDeleteI hope they arrest him for violating his restraining order!!! And she should be drug/alcohol tested....and if she really has the baby it should be given up for adoption
ReplyDelete"now this one he is having with Carrie"
ReplyDeletehaha Enty - I think Enty is referring to the lead in the movie "Carrie".
But, I could be wrong now...
I was wondering if Carrie is Kate's real name, and she goes by Kate as a nickname? Kind of like "for short" - because it's 1 syllable instead of 2 and much harder to slur when she's wasted.
ReplyDeleteI would never wish a miscarriage on anyone, but according to tmz, she is still in her first trimester. Between that and her drinking issues, I don't see this ending well.
ReplyDelete@rejectedcarebear - hahaha, great !
ReplyDeleteMy new T shirt
For the love of xenu
Where's Shelly ?
I love this!
DeleteIts become my new saying, I like it because it gives me the chance to inform people what xenu is
DeleteLove! Yes let's support the Galactic Overlord!
Deleteme. they can arrest him, but never his sperm!!!!!!! they have mind of their own, lol
ReplyDelete...speaking of sticking your dick in crazy. Not to mention, plan that c-section now, because that's a dirty herpes nest right there. Poor kid.
ReplyDeleteOmg, "for the love of xenu" IS awesome! Hahaha
ReplyDeleteWell, 2012 is as good a time as any for a new Damien to be reincarnated.
ReplyDeleteNothing shittier than being born to parents who hate each other. Good Lord. Maybe these two will miraculously loose every penny in the next six months and have to put the poor soul up for adoption. Think I'll start praying for that - might be the only way! Jesus take the wheel, right, OMAMA :-)?
ReplyDeleteThe perfect example of why covert sterilization a la Dexter style should be implimented.
ReplyDeleteeuhhhh ...congrats???
ReplyDeleteWhat Cathy said.... I don't wish bad on anybody, but hopefully a divine being steps in here, no child deserves these two as parents.
ReplyDeleteAnd honestly, I think someone should go to jail for this-- I don't care which one nor do I know what they could be charged with, but if ML knew that she was trying to get pregnant by him against his wishes (I read that in another article), why did he allow it to happen? And purposely getting pregnant with a man who you can't even get along with.... this is premeditated child abuse and so very unfair.
@ rejectedcarebear
ReplyDeleteI actually wore a t shirt I made on vacation in Naples Fl that said "Where's Shelly? " - can't tell you what a wonderful conversation starter. I am adding your catch phrase ..for the love of xenu..
Note - I have said this before, so forgive the repetition, but I contacted Tony Ortega at VV with a question, what do you do to shoo away the Co$ shills and his response was direct (I had to figure out what the Google +1 thingy was - he was responding directly and quickly which I could not believe) and he said-just ask them "Where's Shelly?" which is why I post that frequently:)
Didn't know she's only 28!
ReplyDelete@Agent**it- that's equal parts awesome and hilarious that you wore that shirt in FL of all places. My brother lived in Clearwater for a few years and said the town is ALL xenu friendly and that anyone who isn't drinking the xenu kool-aid is harassed.
ReplyDeleteThese 2 who beat the crap out of each other, and have restraining orders every other week are having a baby. Fanfuckingtastic.
ReplyDeleteI'm flashing back to our ER 'try to kill him with a defrosted turkey' couple. Possibly relatives.
ReplyDeleteSomebody sieze that baby.
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ReplyDeleteThere are two possible outcomes to this breeding of these two great contributors to humanity.
ReplyDeleteONE = A great chance for this spawn to emerge soaking in its own drool from the shallow end of the gene pool. Seeking a pipe hit, pap pose, and hot mic/live camera feed. Totally the most probable.
Or TWO = But wait a sec...What if this..."child"...grew up to be a totally polite, normal, empathetic, kind accountant, who volunteers to read to blind nuns while adopting puppies and shunning the spotlight?
That would be the ultimate revenge upon these two! The God/Karma payback of a tabloid prodigy! Sort of like Frances Bean coming from Kurt Cobain and Courtneyuckwoudlyoujustshutthefuckupcrazywoman Love.
Maybe a long shot - but it could happen. Okay, I'm trying to be an optimist.
How many Himmmm's did we agree upon?
ReplyDelete@Agent**it
ReplyDeleteI just snorted. Welcome back from vacation!! I'm meeting a friend at the beach at 11:30 so I'm being disgustingly lazy (cartoons on for the kids while I catch up on "the news")
Spreading his sperm and abandoning kids. What a guy! And she's only 28? There's a problem. I wouldn't want to adopt this genetic trash.
ReplyDeleteHimmmm is an optimist! However it is very likely. After all many of us here have had at least one rotten parent and are awesome peeps. I just fear the kid won't survive these two long enough to become the upstanding, charitable accountant.
ReplyDeleteBetween his tendency to beat her and her tendency to be a drunken mess, I have a feeling that NEITHER of Himmmm's scenarios will come to fruition. Again, I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on anyone, but I don't see this baby making it out the shoot alive.
ReplyDeleteBut this is 2 rotten parents. Option 1, without a doubt.
ReplyDeleteSorry guys - new phone freaking me out. Go to post and it reposts 10 times. For the love of God! I reeeely dislike technology on Mondays! (Not sure Agent, but there's only one of me here right now and I'm looking very dapper today if I do say so myself ;-)
ReplyDelete...and don't you always, Himmmm?
DeleteThis man should NOT be procreating.
ReplyDeleteWell, only 5 more months til the apocalypse
ReplyDelete@Himmm, Indeed, I'm sure you 'do dapper' quite well !!!
ReplyDelete@Sunny, thanks, it was fun !
@Vicki I spit all over my computer with that one. @rejected care bear, then I did it all again. Thank god,
ReplyDeleteCoffee cleans easily.
Apparently Lindsay just found out about this today - whoever has tonight in the crash pool just might get lucky!
ReplyDeleteAnd Lindsay found out by reading about it on TMZ. Kate is never going to be rid of this guy now. I did love that story of Michael leaping from her balcony like fucking Spider-Man last year.
ReplyDeleteFoetal alcohol syndrome.
ReplyDelete@Himmmm - The difference though is Francis Bean had a stabalizing force to raise her; this kid will be able to turn to...???
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't care if you have the star power of a thousand suns or are a 14 yr-old posting from grandma's basement, if you can tell me how to delete comments from your phone, I'd be forever grateful.
Everyone knows you don't poke the crazy, especially with your dick.
ReplyDeleteIrish men must have the most bad-ass sperm. Every time they have sex they get women pregnant.
ReplyDeletesome people need to be sterilized.
ReplyDeleteShe looks like a man dressed up as Kate Upton.
ReplyDeletehollywood is unaware that birth control is available. this is kind of disturbing.
ReplyDeleteBahahahhahaa @ Ingrid Superstar
ReplyDeleteThere is no God, or if there is, he/she has a sick sense of humor and I'd like to kick him/her in the *****.
ReplyDeleteCue Dr. Drew in 5, 4, 3...
ReplyDeleteBabies should always be happy news but this makes me sad :(
ReplyDeletePretty sure Michael Lohan procreating again was prophesied as happening just before the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse arrive.
ReplyDeleteI had a co-worker in the middle of an unwelcome divorce, and his ex also took out a restraining order against him. Except when she was lonely. Then she'd invite him over. Then she'd hate herself for it and kick him out again. Then she'd get lonely, and invite him over again. On and on. He'd always come back because he didn't want the divorce in the first place. Once he went to jail overnight for violating the restraining order, but he showed the judge the notes she'd written him ("I miss you in the mornings the most, and waking up in your arms") and the judge said he would not maintain a restraining order that she would not personally enforce. About the time my co-worker quit his would-have-been-ex was pregnant again. Um, congratulations? I wonder if that all worked out for them.
ReplyDeleteThese two. If she needed to take out a restraining order, why did she allow him back in? Didn't he take nude pictures of her after exposing her while she was drunk and passed out? Is that her dream man? How? That would SO be the end of any connection to the perpetrator in my life; I don't know why she took him back. People. Oh well, keep the crazy together....
Is Lindsey's next role being a babysitter big sister on a reality TV show?
keeping up with the lohanians. and then lindsey can marry kris and michael can marry kylie and dina can have an affair with bruce and kanye can write a song about it. and you know what? not much different from any family court in the us on any given day
ReplyDelete