Your Turn
Life begins at what age? I think when you leave home for the first time is when life begins. Not so much an age as just a period of time. Before then, are you really living or are you just still getting your bearings and living the life of your parents to some extent. What happens when you move back home like I did? Is life put on hold for a while? I think so.
I think it depends on what you go through as a child/teenager. Dealing with my parents' and my own illnesses for as long as I can remember makes me feel like I started living right away. It's a different kind of living than when I went away to college.
ReplyDeleteI think it's difficult to quantify.
I've been alive since birth. Have just gone through different phases, that's all. You can't think of your life as being on hold, because then you don't enjoy the part you are living while waiting for the next part to come along.
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting question. My mother died a suicide when I was eight. My father was domineering and hard as nails. I married at nineteen, had a child one year later, and was widowed when our child was four months old. For the first time ever I had to be the one in charge, a grown up in every sense of the word, so for me life began at twenty.
ReplyDeleteI left home at 13, and life was hell and a struggle up until I learned how to love myself, which was around 2006 (it was a transformation that began in 1999 but wasn't fully felt nor embraced until about 2006, and by 2007 I fully fell in love with myself for the first time ever).
ReplyDeleteSo I'd say about 30 yrs old, life really began (not that it wasn't one hell of a trip prior, but life's no where near as fun when you don't love yourself).
I felt like I was waiting for life to really start until I was 25. Then I woke up and realized this is life. I wish now that I had come to that thought sooner. I would have enjoyed my teen and early 20's years so much more.
ReplyDeleteDel and Omama,
ReplyDeleteHugs to both of you for coming through incredibly hard times at incredibly young ages!
It definitely differs from person to person, For me it was when I was 20 and had my son, not only because I had no choice but to grow up, but because having him made me ambitious and want to do amazing things to make him proud of me. He's 4 now and the last few years have been the best.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely differs from person to person, For me it was when I was 20 and had my son, not only because I had no choice but to grow up, but because having him made me ambitious and want to do amazing things to make him proud of me. He's 4 now and the last few years have been the best.
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ReplyDeleteI left home at 18. Returned home in my 20s for one summer, and then again after graduation to work and save money. It sucked, because I was used to coming and going as I pleased, and I was not exactly welcomed with open arms.
ReplyDeleteI was 15 and before my senior year my father dropped dead the day we sold our house. It was just me my mom and little sister, brother in the service. It was VN and he came home for the funeral with help from Navy relief the Red Cross would not do any thing to help him. He was home for a week. Then we moved in to my Grandparents house My mother used the money from the house sale to pay for the funeral. Father didn't have any life insurance. I had to do all the paper work for my Mom, like Income tax, fight the VA for his service pension and SS for survivors benfits, she was in a bad way after he died. All the trouble with the different Gov. things didn't help. So, I was grown up at 15 I had all ready been working since I was 11 so, I just went to work cleaning cottages. You can make some real money cleaning and it is all in cash. Grad. HS with good enough grades to get a full ride in college but, I had to work my ass off with 2 jobs in College and summers in factories and cleaning. The money I made summers were used to help my Mom. I grad. college then moved away after a summer home working to the UP and a Prison job were I stayed working in Prisons for the next 20 yrs. After our Daughter was 2. My Mom came down to live with us and take care of the baby. 3 months later she saw a Dr. and was found to have 4 stage cancer. For 13 months I drove her every Monday 200 miles away for Chemo treatment. In between she lived with my younger sister. Her dead destroyed my family. MY younger sister will not talk to any of the rest. That the breaks when you grow up and you make your own family. You replace what you lost.
ReplyDeletend
It's not the age itself, but the time(s) in your life when you decide to take control, make your own decisions, and accept the consequences for those decisions.
ReplyDeleteI can only answer this by saying life begins when something happens to you and while it's happening, out of your control, and once it is over it is never really over, that is it affects you for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteLife to me begins when you learn to appreciate ~each and every day.
You guys have some amazing stories!
ReplyDeleteI left home at 18, but was just as dumb as a box of rocks. I wish I wouldn't have been in such a rush.
I feel like life kind of began when I was about 30. I'm 40 now. :)
I still havnt found what I'm looking for... But the journey is good and the destination is unknown.
ReplyDeletetamarind, Thank You. You are Right on this one. Love your comment.
ReplyDelete@tamarind - I like your answer and believe the same. You said it better than I could have.
ReplyDeleteReally nayled it for me, Enty!! School was close to home so I never left during college. I want to leave really badly because of that feeling that life is still about to start....
ReplyDeleteLife begins when you recognize that you are living in the pause between the notes.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was about ten it became clear that my parents marriage was truly dysfunctional and I became a scared little girl who got caught up in the crossfire. I only came to understand that I couldn’t have done anything to help either of them when I was in my thirties and both had died. I could then confront my past relationship with them as being one of survival and I had survived. Life isn’t warm and lovely(for anyone), it can also knock you off your feet in truly painful ways. I guess that what I’m saying is that I grew up by the time I reached forty.
ReplyDeleteHugs to all on the thread.
Sorry for all of the hardships, you guys! I think the answer to this question is as different as each person.
ReplyDelete@Omama, Old ;ady, billybob, coming of age, so to speak, wasn't easy for us, but I for one think it helped mold a character that I am still proud of.
ReplyDeleteLearning to survive in what is often hostile territory is a good skill to have.
So, cheers to us!!!!
I feel life begins when you are born. Everyone has a different pattern of life as you can see from the replies here. So there is no right answer to the question, it begins when YOU think it does.
ReplyDeleteWow, I am again reminded that everybody has a story. Peace to you guys.
ReplyDeleteLife really started to shine for me after 30.
Cheers, Del!
ReplyDeleteLife, like a Mobius strip, has no beginning or end. Birth and death are merely illusions. I know, deep, huh?
ReplyDeleteLife, like a Mobius strip, has no beginning or end. Birth and death are merely illusions. I know, deep, huh?
ReplyDeletebless all of you, we all have stages of life and reaching 50+ I am looking forward to living my own life after living for my parents, my daughter and husband. Life is what we make it and for all of you who have survived despite incredible odds, I wish I could hug each of you. congratulations for evolving into the thoughtful and caring people you are..
ReplyDeleteWell, you're always living your life, but hour iindependent life begins when u are living on ur own.
ReplyDeleteBless you all!
ReplyDeleteAnd here's to another 50!!
I think life begins when you start living your life for yourself and say screw how my parents want me to live, because then it's your life for you and what you want. Not as just an extension of your parents.
ReplyDeleteI was already kind of depressed and this question made it worse, lol.
ReplyDeleteI changed a lot when I left home at 19 to live at college, and even more at about 22 when my dad died. Even MORE at 39 when my mother died.
I am in my 50's and right now I feel the best, most productive time of my life is past and I am kind of waiting for another phase to begin....it's a little scary to be at yet another crossroads.
@car54, but a crossroads has promise, you get to make the choice. You're obviously not stuck on a one way road that has you pointed only one direction.
ReplyDeleteThat's what living is, making the choice. You get to decide what you want the next phase to be, then go for it!
Don't be scared, you're among lots of friends here. :)
I'm still waiting for my life to begin.
ReplyDeleteI'm 33 and still live with my parents. One guy laughed in my face when I told him! It's the ones who ask why nicely that r the keepers. I've struggled with lupus and depression, and yes being the youngest of 4 kids to way too nice parents I think kept me comfortable. At 28 I was asked to care for a sick elderly woman. That started a cycle and at 32 I met the guy I'm going to marry and emigrate to the UK with. I got my health in check, finally found the profession I will thrive in, and I'm ready. What I tell other late bloomers (usually artistic types who don't fit in anywhere) is if college seems impossible, go to a trade school. I grew up as a painter which either means ur gifted and can support urself selling paintings, illustration or a graphic artist. Someone gave me the idea of beauty school so I did makeup artistry then esthetics now I'm getting nail tech certified and I'm just excited for the next course! Trade/vocational school has been a gift bc I always felt dumb not being able to suffer through college lectures and now I get A's on almost every exam. I hope that helps other stragglers. No matter what ur doing, you ARE learning something and hopefully one day you realize how to apply it.
ReplyDeleteBIRTH for me at least. I think as long as we are learning from life we are alive.
ReplyDeleteBIRTH for me at least. I think as long as we are learning from life we are alive.
ReplyDeletei started walking to and from school by myself in 2nd grade, age 7. it was about a mile away and i had to cross several busy streets, didn't matter what the weather was. in retrospect, i really think my parents had me because that's what people did. at age 10 i had his moment that was like BAM, "its them, not me. it shouldn't be like this." after that i stopped caring what they thought and did what i wanted. i cut classes starting in 7th grade. i knew they wouldn't notice, and i was right. looking back i think it was lucky that i didn't end up in big trouble. when i graduated from college (from a really good school), my mom said, "i never thought you'd make it". (no kidding!) so for me, age 7, because i really can't remember a whole lot before then, but there was this feeling that i was on my own, there was no "back-up".
ReplyDeleteI used to joke around that someone was officially a grown-up when they owned a lawnmower. I'm 37, am married, and have a kid, but still don't own a lawnmower. I think I have a mental block.
ReplyDelete^^ i don't think living with your parents is any big deal. in this economy its probably smart, and for women its safer. especially if you like your parents and everyone is happy to get together, its great. in lots of countries its the norm to stay w/ your parents until you marry-whatever the age.
ReplyDeleteI go back and forth between wondering when life will begin, or when will it finally end.
ReplyDeleteIs that horrible?
I see that a lot of us have led troubled lives in our own way… I've had a lot of horrible things happen to me (when I tell people, I get told in exploitive
Blogger keeps eating my comments. Boo.
DeleteAnyway. I was getting far off point anyway. Telling you my life story.
2 sets of shitty parents, crappy DNA, molested as a child, raped as a teen, best friend died as a teen (this area is notorious for people dying. Even " famous jackasses"), parents didn't understand or relate to me.
I've been fending on my own for more than half of my 30 years.
My most recent goings on are the most troubling. My husband and I are rocky at best, I have extreme health issues. Like possibly terminal. And my whole family basically sucks.
My 2 kids are my life, and because of a stupid mistake, I'm flipped upside down.
Im a mess. Sorry for the vitriol. I hate my current situation. And I miss working. I don't feel I'm worth anything.
#DebbieDowner
@Frances Parker
ReplyDeleteYou are in my thoughts girl. So sorry you are going through such shit. *hugs*
Hey Frances, as a mom, you are among the most valuable people on the planet. Never forget that to your kids, the sun rises and sets with you. They are your masterpieces, your gift to the world.
ReplyDeleteI have been down in dark emotional places before, so I totally get the need to put it out there and be Debbie Downer. I also know you've written about your health problems here before, and I'm so sorry you're going through that crap.
Sending you hugs a good vibes tonight. Go kiss your sweet kids :-). I know mine have saved my life a time or two.
*and good vibes
ReplyDeletep.s. DEL - thanks!
ReplyDeleteBut I for one am getting a bit tired of God thinking I'm so strong, I don't know about you. ;)
Many blessings. :)
@Frances Parker, I won't tell you to have happy thoughts, but before you go to sleep tonight, remind yourself that a great number of people are wishing and praying for the best for you. *Big Hugs*
ReplyDelete@Omama, No kidding, life is not getting any easier, and I'm pretty sure I've only got a few good rounds left in me. I'll give it my best but I'm getting tired.
ReplyDeleteBlessings are always welcome, thank you!!!
This is certainly not going to solve anyone's problems, but this blog really helped me during a dark period over the winter. You are so much more than your circumstances, and prayers/good thoughts are being sent your way. Www.marcandangel.com
ReplyDeleteI would normally say when I left home for the first time. Now I'm not so sure.
ReplyDeletethank you so much. my sun rises and sets for them as well. they are the reason i have gotten this far. Otherwise, I would have given up when I had the chance <3
ReplyDelete