The National Institutes Of Health has a blurb on their site about a report of a woman in Korea who ate some parboiled squid. When she bit into the squid it ejaculated and the sperm attached itself to the inside of her cheek. She felt a shapr stinging pain and spit out the squid. She went to the doctor who said that, "Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa. On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores."
Yeah, so I think that means the woman was going to grow 12 squid inside her cheek if they had not been removed. This is not even the first time this has happened. Nope. About once every few months a story comes out like this. Makes me really rethink the whole calamari thing. It is also something Tom Cruise should look into if he ever decides to have another baby.
Stories like this are not helping my morning sickness.
ReplyDeleteI guess you could say she
ReplyDelete*slips on sunglasses*
bit off more than she could chew.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
badum-ching!
ReplyDeleteLOL@Vicki.
ReplyDeleteWeird story. Good thing I don't like calamari..
Oh Vicki. Clever. I'm glad I don't eat seafood.
ReplyDeleteEnty, that's not a blurb. That's an abstract from a scholarly journal.
ReplyDeleteI work for a large journal publisher and am trying to see if we have access to this one. Will repost pics on FB if I can find them.
Yeesh, so "Alien" isn't all that far-fetched. Sometimes I'm really glad I went vegetarian.
ReplyDelete@Vicki - LOL!
ReplyDeleteI love Calamari and this story is will ensure I think twice before I order it again at a restaurant.
ReplyDelete'So I think that means the woman was going to grow 12 squid inside her cheek if they had not been removed'.
ReplyDeleteEr, no. I guess Enty missed a couple of biology classes in high school.
So glad that this was posted right when I sat down to eat my lunch...
ReplyDeleteThis is why I only eat squid that's been fully cleaned and cooked. Scary, creepy, gross, the list goes on but it does make me go to that place where I wonder if I'm often eating the equivalent of sea bugs when I'm so terrified of earth bugs above.
ReplyDeleteShe basically got a painful squid cum-shot to the mouth.
ReplyDeleteThere is no way baby squids would have grown in her mouth unless she had squid eggs in there. Squids require the union of sperm and eggs for fertilization.
parboiled means like, 30 seconds dipped in boiling water. Deep fried is oil so hot that our ancestors cooked fish in it bc it killed any parasites and bacteria. Listen to your ancestors.
ReplyDeletethis is what happens ladies when you don't swallow.
ReplyDeleteLol hahahahahaha
DeleteWtf did I just read? O.o
ReplyDeleteOMG give me pink slime any time!!!!
ReplyDeleteHahahah @Vicki!!
ReplyDeleteMan this story is nasty. Ick!
Holy crap Vicki, you just made me spew diet pepsi out my nose with that one!
ReplyDeleteAs for the story, may i just say...OH MY GLOB, THAT IS THE GROSSEST THINK I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!
I am in the Foodservice industry and you do *not* want to know what I know about food.
ReplyDeleteOh god why did you have to post that right before lunch?! I'm never eating again :(
ReplyDeleteEating deep fried calamari rings isn't going to get your face pregnant.
ReplyDeleteEating deep fried calamari rings isn't going to get your face pregnant.
ReplyDeletepregnant face...bahahaha!
ReplyDelete@vicki i have never typed LOL in my life, but what the hell. 30 second LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteOK, so PB&J it is.
ReplyDeleteF**K me. That is gross.
ReplyDelete@Vicki - !!! You got me twice today, and I thank you.
ReplyDeleteThe sunglasses are a nice touch :)
In regards to the post: NOOOOOOOOO
This is why I will never eat sushi.
ReplyDeleteYUCK!
Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Love it, Vicki!!
ReplyDeleteIn other news, so much for eating lunch today...
@cridchild
ReplyDeleteUGH, I hope you feel better soon. Morning (and afternoon and evening) sickness is THE PITS!!!
Do you guys remember that book of scary stories that has the one about the girl who got a spider bite on her cheek? It swelled and itched and she scratched it and spiders started hatching out of her face.
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS WAY WORSE. WTF.
@Vicki-You are killing me softly.
ReplyDeleteTHIS is why calamari should be breaded and fried.
ReplyDelete"There is no way baby squids would have grown in her mouth unless she had squid eggs in there. Squids require the union of sperm and eggs for fertilization."
ReplyDeleteThat was my thought as well. This story has gone around forever, and I thought it had always been debunked as an urban legend. (Not that the sperm could enter a human's body, as noted by the NIH, but that new "babies" could grow. Enty, come on, for God's sake.)
Ew. Have you guys heard about the woman in Florida who opened a can of delicious chef boyardee mini raviolis and crunched into a spider?
ReplyDeleteMy biggest nightmare. Eeeeeeeek.
@Amber: I remember that book and have been afraid of playing host to spider eggs ever since. Ah, childhood.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't eat calimari to save my life. Nope, never. I'll stick to real American food like tacos and special quesadillas swimming in salsa.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the email that circulated years ago about someone having cockroach eggs in their tongue after licking envelopes.
@Amber that was my first thought when I read the story too!!!! That and damn glad I don't like calamari!
ReplyDeleteIn the article I read they did say that Western Countries take all the baby making parts out (being from Michigan I don't want to use nasty words like squid penis or squid VAGINA...ooops guess I did)
I don't care if there baby squids or not, something was implanted in her mouth and just ewwwwww
Vicki Cupper rules!
ReplyDeleteick ick ick. This freaks me out. where do you find this stuff, Enty???
ReplyDeleteHere's another thought: if you're not vegan, there's still plenty of grossness in your meat/seafood/dairy. Believe it.
ReplyDelete(A) I hate to be the killjoy on a Friday but it's true. B) I'm not a vegan, so there's no preaching in that above.)
Botox or "Squidoo" The new celebrity facial enhancement alternative...
ReplyDeleteAKM, I read Skinny Bitch. I know whereof you speak. Barf.
ReplyDeleteARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
ReplyDeleteWhoa! WTF? I thought this was going to be some sort of swimming story. Can you imagine giving birth to a squid? This is just scary though!
ReplyDeleteI swear to God, my tuna wrap almost came back up after I read this story. F**K that is gross
ReplyDeleteMy goal is to die by being eaten by a giant squid. Or maybe being torn apart as an innocent bystander in the battle between a giant squid and a sperm whale.
ReplyDeleteVegan
ReplyDeleteI was eating sushi when I read this. I'm not any longer.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but there are a lot of things you don't want to know about in the foods you buy on the grocery shelf. Smuckers supposedly has a lot of bugs in their jams and jellies. Of course, they're cooked and won't probably do anything to you (think of it as added protein) but things that are processed like peanut butter, jam, all that kind of stuff, shit happens and get in there during the gathering and processing process. At least that stuff has been cooked to high temps before being jarred for the supermarket shelves.
ReplyDeleteThink about how filthy and questionable the produce is you buy at the grocery store from Joe Publix touching it before you picked it up and bought it. Have you ever gone to the People of Walmart website? That alone will have you scrubbing your fruits and veggies before any kind of consumption into the future...Just saying.
I bet she had a mouthful for that manager.
ReplyDeleteThe story was gross but the comments have been fantastic!
ReplyDeleteOh and can I just say that if something is going to squirt in my mouth I had better be getting something a whole lot more enjoyable than squid. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteOMG! I cringed and "ewwwww'd" when I read this, then I started dying laughing from Vicki, then TimeBob, then Moosefan.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys!
@M - EXACTLY. I was JUST reading a Prevention article about the shellac in our candy, and Prozac in poultry, and sheep oil in gum...and don't forget the fish bladders in your Guinness.
ReplyDeleteFrom the journal article:
ReplyDelete"...we found that she had parboiled a whole live squid for a few seconds in boiling water and cut its body, together with the internal organs, into small pieces in order to check its taste. As soon as she put a piece into her mouth, she felt like many “bugs” were biting her oral mucosa. She experienced severe sharp pain and spat out the entire portion without swallowing. Despite that, she could feel many small squirming white bug-like organisms penetrating her oral mucosa. She visited the nearest emergency facility, and brought along the lump of squid that she had spat out. Twelve, small, spindle-shaped white organisms, 2–5 mm in length, were found stuck to the mucosa of her tongue, cheek, and gingiva. Because the organisms were still moving during the examination, the physicians initially thought that they were squid parasites and removed them surgically, along with the surrounding affected mucosa. Later, on observing their morphology and noting the presence of a sperm bag, we identified the bug-like creatures as squid spermatophores. Numerous spermatophores were found in the spat out portion of the squid as well. The white, parasite-like organisms were tentatively identified as sperm bags of T. pacificus.
...Cephalopod spermatophores are complex secretory structures that hold sperm masses and contain, in part, an ejaculatory apparatus for releasing the sperm mass, as well as a cement body, presumably for attaching the sperm mass to the female. When the spermatophores come in contact with the female body, the coiled ejaculatory apparatus present in the spermatophore is activated by mechanical shock and releases a sperm bag, which becomes attached to the female body, and the sperm slowly emerge from it...In the present case, we believe that the patient ate the portion of a male squid containing spermatophores, and that sperm bags were discharged from the spermatophores on chewing, which provided the mechanical shock. The spermatophores and sperm bags then stuck onto the mucosa of the patient's oral cavity. To prevent such a phenomenon, if a squid is to be consumed raw its internal organs should be removed; if it is to be served whole it should be boiled long enough to kill the sperm bags."
Don't freak out too much people...Someone obviously knew nothing about squid preparation. How she got past the plastic membrane is surprising to me. What an idiot if this is true.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/mimmo-cozzolino/3269641489/lightbox/
ReplyDeletethis is like an urban legend come true....now i just need to wait for a strange man to call me from inside my house and threaten to kill me. *going to hide under the bed*
ReplyDeleteSo glad I am vegetarian.
ReplyDeleteI am anyway, even without gross stories like this, but I especially am after gross stories like this.
See mom, I told you calamari was bad for you. This is why I don't eat squid.
ReplyDeleteThanks for more ammo when I tell people I don't eat sushi and never will. I've eaten plenty of odd things, but they were all fully cooked.
ReplyDeleteCongrats Enty!
ReplyDeleteI thought nothing could top my husband telling me what a red bag machine is....
Sincerely,
Terminally nauseated
OctoMom's long lost cousin perhaps?
ReplyDeleteI really need to know what a "red bag machine" is.
ReplyDeleteI really need to know what a "red bag machine" is.
ReplyDeleteOk...i would suggest that you don't want to know...so this is your warning @Mayrose
ReplyDeleteBut if you insist:
Redbag.com