Yesterday morning, Maria Menounos was on Howard Stern and said that she has been molested by doctors in the past. The first time she says was when she was very young and she went to a doctor because of a throat issue. At some point he began touching her genitals and Maria says she screamed and her boyfriend, who was in the waiting room came in. He told her to file a report to the police, but Maria didn't. Hopefully that doctor has not been molesting people in the years since, but that is probably just wishful thinking. The second time was a few years later and a doctor started playing with Maria's belly button ring after complimenting it. Now Maria says she won't go into an examination room alone or without her boyfriend. I don't understand why she didn't report these incidents. It's obvious she has been affected by them, and so many other women could have been saved the experience if Maria or someone else had reported them.
TMI.
ReplyDeleteI have never had any sort of get-naked exam by a doctor when a nurse was not also present. I thought they always did that, just for this reason.
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ReplyDeleteSyko...ditto, I can't remember being in the exam room alone with a doctor....
ReplyDelete"I don't understand why she didn't report these incidents."
ReplyDeleteMe either, and yet she DOES report them to the tabloids?
Sorry, but I've about had it with victims who won't go to the police yet have no trouble sensationalizing their experiences for the press.
I listened to that interview and it did not come across as sensationalizing at all. I think it is pretty easy to understand why many don't report these incidents. It's stressful, shameful, embarrassing, humiliating, time-consuming, etc. It's easier, and kind of therapeutic, to discuss these things later, when older and wiser.
Deletein my country France ,except if you're a minor,the doctor is alone with you during the examination.
ReplyDeletewhy don't the victims report?
the lack of clue because it's "what i say" against "what he says" and the shame....
Enty,are you really a lawyer ?
I agree with @FrenchGirl - there's the whole He Said/She Said or she's just confused and misinterpreted my examination...blah blah blah.
ReplyDeleteAnd the fact that you just want to forget the whole thing and go into denial sort of.
This is why I only have women doctors.
ReplyDeleteYes, didn't they change the system in the last few years in that if you are naked a nurse has to be in the room?
ReplyDelete@Syko: Usually they do, and that is the reasoning behind it (also, if they need something, the nurse is right there); even most of the women OB-GYNs I've seen have a nurse present.
ReplyDeleteWhen she did her nude picture in Allure a couple of months ago, she mentioned not wanting to get naked in front of doctors, to the extent that she might not be willing to get pregnant...something like this would certainly help explain that. She probably didn't report the episodes for a number of reasons: being in a state of shock and/or too upset afterward, being afraid of not being believed and having it impact her medical care (I understand doctors have been known to "alert" other doctors regarding patients who bust them, to the degree that the whistleblowers can't get medical care in their geographical area), knowing it's a "he said/she said" situation, etc. Yes, she should have reported them, but sometimes that's easier said than done, unfortunately.
I've been pretty fortunate in that most of my doctors have been pretty decent, with a few minor exceptions--the male ER doc who gave me grief for coming in when an abdominal incision reopened 3 weeks post-surgery, saying it could have waiting until morning (every other doc I've seen has said I did the right thing, and hey, how was I to know it was only opening on the surface?), a female OB-GYN who was not only physically rough with me but who made snarky comments about my chin hairs (thanks a lot, bitch...), and the nurse-practitioner in the Athens, GA county health clinic who made a huge deal out of trying to fit me for a diaphragm by claiming that she didn't have one big enough for my gigantic hooha ("Hmmm, this one's not big enough...this one isn't either...gee, I don't know if we have one that'll fit!") but decided she'd found one only after totally humiliating me...the next doc I saw, in a private practice, told me she gave me one several sizes too big, and I was lucky to have avoided both pregnancy and UTIs (thank God for involuntary celibacy, eh?). Hey, bitch, just because someone's fat on the outside doesn't mean they have a snatch the size of the Grand Canyon; frequently the reverse is true... *grrrrrrrrr*
Yep most drs i have had have been good except for an urologist who was constantly late for appts .made me wait out kidney stones for months until I switched insurance then drs lol
DeleteIck. I had nearly the exact same experience back in 1995 in CT.! I went into see this new Dr. for a sore throat, and he asked me to lay down and he actually tried to unbutton my pants! I jumped off that table and called him every name in the book as I ran out of his office. He was a crusty old coot and I reported him to my insurance Co. and the board of medical examiners that afternoon! They took the complaint very seriously and funny thing, he "retired" almost immediately after that. Made me think I wasn't the first to complain. We should NEVER let anyone get away with crap like this!
ReplyDeleteDid maybe this horrible thing happen to her once and now she's so eeked out over it she "sees" it happening all the time now? Only asking because I had a simalar thing happen to me once. New doctor-male-we had the nurse in the room for the whole exam. The second she walked out he started asking me these really wacked out questions about my sexual history and sex between my husband and myself. It happened so fast I didn't really know what was going on. He then tried to tell me I had a UTI that I had no symtoms for and he wanted to check me w/o the nurse in the room. I high tailed it out of there at that point,never to return. Needless to say No I didn't report it-again I was so confused and didn't even really put things together until I talked it over w/ my girlfriends. By that time Dr Feelgood was long gone. Left the practice very abruptly. Sufice to say I'm paranoid w/ male doctors since. Just thinking same can be true for Maria. Sorry this was so long guys.
ReplyDeleteI've always had a nurse in too.
ReplyDeleteBut she was there for a throat issue so maybe a nurse wasn't required.
But I agree...why tell Howard Stern and not authorities or your therapist?
In defense of Howard Stern, he has great ability to create an alliance with guests and to get them to relax and confess things. His loveable nerdy persona makes people say all kinds of things they probably wouldn't say to a more buttoned-down "stuffed shirt" interviewer. And he tends to hone in on the "Who molested you?" angle pretty effectively when he talks to models, strippers, porn stars, etc. I like him a lot, for what it's worth, and I admire his ability to make people open up about things.
ReplyDelete@Syko...ditto
ReplyDeleteThey do make it mandatory now to have a nurse in the room and it was because Dr's were pulling shit like that. I too had that happen to me when I was 9 yrs old. Our normal family Dr. was off that day so we went to the other one who shared his office. Had a sore throat and he checked out my genitals. I was too scared to tell anyone or realize it was wrong.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the doctor was playing with her belly button ring to highlight how lame it is. She always has it out front and center in every picture, like it's 1997.
ReplyDeleteTake it out!
(Sorry, I hate Menounos's belly button ring. She flaunts in like it's interesting.)
I had this happen with a chiropractor and I never went back.
ReplyDeleteListen...I'm on her side. I was in the same boat at one time. I was in my early 20's and I went in for a sinus infection. Next thing, the Dr. was asking me how I felt about a 20 something year old dating a 52 year old (he was 52). I was confused. Then he asked if I used protection and if I were sexually active (reasonable questions). Then he asked me if I enjoyed sex and what position. Being young, stupid and trusting of doctors. I froze, until he laid me down on the table on my back and pulled my johnnie down and exposed me, just to listen to my heart with his stethoscope. I grabbed my boobs and said "What are you doing?" I've never had to be exposed and had my breasts touched before when a dr. listened to my heart. He yelled at me, called me ridiculous and stormed out. the nurse came running in and asked what the hell happened. I told her and she said "Wait a minute...he's not supposed to start the examination without a nurse present." She did the rest of the exam and the entire time I was sick to my stomach and wanted to cry and run. When they called for the results, I didn't even call them back. I didn't care. I never wanted to talk about it or hear from them again. When I got the Dr.'s bill, I never paid it. 3 months later, they stopped sending me bills and never sent it to collections. I just couldn't bring myself to pay that man, and I'm dilligent about paying my bills.
ReplyDeleteNeeedless to say...it took a long time just to talk about my incident, I felt dirty. I can only imagine. You don't want to report it, because what if they don't believe you or think you're trying to sue them cause they've got money. How can you prove it? It's your words against theirs. When you're young, it's scary. Now that I'm older...it's a different story.
Thanks Robin and Aunt Jess! I thought a breast exam every single time was normal until I was in my 20's. I was told to remove my clothes for an exam of my forearm - and I was wearing a no sleeve shirt. Who knows what's been done to me when Ive been unconscious. I'm running about 70-30 on doctors. A recent specialist, one of Johns Hopkins finest, spent the entire visit telling me about his beach house. It's no wonder he's single.
ReplyDeleteAny profession that insists on policing it's own will be beyond corrupt. Lawyers. How could you possibly get help!
i think this is why i subconsciously sabatoge my diets lol, no more molesting!
ReplyDeleteYou wouldn't be the first, or the last. That is very common.
DeleteSherry, I had the same kind of thing happen to me at 9. Again, a sore throat issue. The nurse was the one who had me take off my top, but she put the gown over me, then left. He massaged my throat, then massaged my chest area. I felt deeply embarrassed and didn't tell my mother. I think she knew something happened by the way I looked when I got out of there. She found a female practitioner after that.
ReplyDeleteI was abused by a woman during an internal ultrasound. I told anyone who would listen and filed official complaints. It's not just men. Anyone who has some kind of athority and uses it to abuse another person who is trusting them with their body is seriously fucked up.
ReplyDeleteI co-sign with what Angel said. She wasn't willing to report these events, but she is willing to talk about them on the radio? Fame whore.
ReplyDeleteI'm sad to read that so many patients have been abused by their doctors...and even sadder to read that Maria thinks a belly button piercing is still something to show off.
ReplyDeleteDon't you really understand how a sexist society works?
ReplyDeleteWomen are taught to believe they are responsible for abuse, they are ashamed they have been abused, therefore most don't report.
It takes time to deal and with the issues caused by this type of violence and talk about them. Some never manage to find the courage to address the situation.
I respect her for speaking out now. I would still respect her if she never did.
@ keks - right on - nailed it.
ReplyDeleteMy friend was definitely touched inappropriately at her first visit to the gyno when she was still a teen. I don't remember if her mother was there but I'm guessing no and that a nurse wasn't either. She still thinks that it wasn't a big deal and yet she mentioned it to me when it happened and a few times since so clearly her subconscious must know that it was ultimately wrong.
ReplyDeleteI've never been able to go to a male doctor where disrobing would be required. I don't want to generalize and make them all bad but when you've been inappropriately touched and ogled by (older) men when you were barely out of your teens sometimes younger, the urge is to surround yourself with women especially in situations where you might be in various states of undress.
And, I do agree that if you're going to talk about it publicly that it should be reported to the police or some other proper authority and not on the Howard Stern b/c there's nothing else interesting about you.
I live in California, I haven't been examined by two people in years. I have always had female doctors and gynecologists, but the times I've had to go to urgent care or walk ins, I've been seen by males with no nurse present. Doesn't matter, if one ever touched me like that he'd have a black eye (I have a lot of suppressed anger waiting for the right asshole to bring it out of me in the form of a fist).
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience when I was five at a doctors office. Men are just all highly sexual. Either they control themselves or they don't. Just assume they are all very sexual creatures, protect yourself and your daughters. Men encourage eachother to be that way and objectify females, look at the bj at cirque du soleil, other guys were giving the guy high fives. And for heaven's sake all of you women, please file police reports, what else is more important than stopping predators?
ReplyDeleteIt happened to me too, in the health center in college. They had a revolving door of doctors there.
ReplyDeleteI went in for a sore throat, and the doctor who was youngish and slightly skeevy (details are fuzzy since this was so long ago), started feeling his way down from my throat to just above my pubic bone. I sat up before he got any further.
Why didn't I report it? I was shocked, and a few days later, I forgot about it - I had many other things on my mind.
p. s. I didn't disrobe for this, but I clearly remember thinking, I have a throat infection. Why is he trying to feel me up? WTF? That's why I sat up, as soon as I got over the shock of what he was doing.
ReplyDeleteI find myself strangely unsympathetic to this.
ReplyDeleteMy first reaction is why dont you see female doctors instead? That's what I do usually. I prefer giving my business to women anyway when I can, especially in a male-driven and rewarded field like medicine.
My second thought is wow, you wont go into an examination room alone without your boyfriend? Yuck. Not quite sure why but this sounds horribly co-dependent and oh look at me I'm a fragile woman who needs her man to protect her. She's obviously playing the victim role to the hilt here, and it seems to suit her rather well ;/
I can see this happening. I had a creepy doctor once - he smelled sort of bad and kept ogling my breasts during an exam I had to have after a biopsy. I got the creepy vibe from him. This is the only time it's happened, but I believe this happens to women more than is reported. You don't want to believe your doctor is actually thinking disgusting thoughts like that, especially when you're in such a vulnerable position.
ReplyDeleteNow I am reading the comments above and see this has happened to a lot of us women. :( And I also see blame as well, with all the typical male-dominated memes. This is what a deeply sexist society looks like.
ReplyDeleteI had some strange situation with doctor several years ago in the hospital. I would not call it abuse, but it sure was not pleasant for me. I went to the hospital due to internal bleeding. My body was shaking, I was feeling cold one minute and hot another. There was a doctor who examined me several times by ultrasound and was squezing and touching my stomach area, while my underwear was really low. He never touched my genitals directly, but he was near. I was feeling better in the morning and my husband came to visit me. He then left and I stood in the hall for some time. This doctor came to me and said his work hours were over and he was going home. Then he made a joke that he was not kissing me goodbye and gave me a long stare in the eyes. I was really confused. At the same time I was very exhasted after that awful night and happy that I was better, so I did not react in any way. But I wonder was all that examining me several times, touching and that much exposing of my body parts really needed
ReplyDeleteshe was "very young" but had a boyfriend? how young could she have been. i've had exams when there wasn't a nurse there. yes i know that is the rule.
ReplyDeleteback in the day i always felt like just sitting naked on the table as opposed to using that silly paper gown that really hides nothing. figured they would see everything anyway. now, i'm older, post-baby-body, i'm loving that paper cover!
Jasmine, I'll answer your question. When I was 12 my gyno discovered some uterine cysts. He referred me to a surgical specialist, who was a female. She had a crappy bedside manner, was very rough with my 12 year-old ladybits, and didn't explain things to me in a way I could understand. She had me thinking that I was going to drop dead from uterine cancer any second. So that's why I wouldn't go to female doctor for 20 years after that. And the only reason why I went to a female gyno in my early 30s was because she was the only one I could find who would do a uterine ablation on me at that age.
ReplyDeletePlease don't think I paint all male doctors with the same brush. Last year when I had a horrible time with some cysts I wound up in the ER-had the best dude doctor ever. Checked out the lady parts w/ complete respect to my person.
ReplyDeleteI'm horrified (and naive, I guess) at all of your stories in the comments.
ReplyDeleteI've definitely encountered a-hole doctors (like the OB-GYN who made me feel guilty for being sexually active, not married and not on BC beside condoms), but never did they cross any kind of line like this. Scary.