John Mayer Wants Jennifer Lawrence
John Mayer had a new album come out this month so he emerged from his hiding place under the rocks of the earth and has decided that it is time for him to start hitting on everything that moves again. First on his list was Zooey Deschanel. He pretends he is interested in her music and hopes that she will make music for him if you know what I mean. According to Radar though, he also has one other person he is trying to score with and that is Jennifer Lawrence. Despite Jennifer being in a relationship the past two years with Nicholas Hoult, John hits on her every chance he can get and hopes she will break down and be with him. Not to date of course. Well, he would date her for a month maybe just to pretend he was not interested in just sex. Anything beyond that though, not a chance. Maybe all of the women who have "dated" John Mayer could get together and write a note that gets passed down immediately to any woman he hits on so she would know to say no. Oh, and to run.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I hope somebody records the rejection and subsequent laughter.
ReplyDeleteI dont see this guys appeal at all. Marginal singer, blabs negatively about every relationship and now apparently randomly dresses like a pirate. And hes creepy. Not seeing the love!
ReplyDeleteyeah I can see that "I've changed" media tour really made a difference. I'm not a fan of his music either but his album went no 1. with no support from him touring and he sells out when he does tour. His lady fans love him no matter how douchey he gets.
ReplyDeleteOh, and somebody did write a note to all future Mayer conquests. It's called "Dear John" by Taylor Swift.
good for him
ReplyDeletei want Christian Bale,Tom Hardy,Gary oldman,JGL in clear THE DARK KNIGHT RISES'all male casting in my bed
Women love him because they really believe he was singing about their body as a wonderland. His schtick is to manipulate by writing sensitive songs that get him some trim. And I'm sure each new girl really believes they're going to be the one to make him settle down.
ReplyDeleteAt this point, if anyone is stupid enough to hook up with him they've earned every bit of heartache they get.
I love JMs music, but not him. Don't blame him for wanting her tho, she's gorgeous and seems fun to hang with.
ReplyDelete^ Agreed with above. Mike Birbiglia did a funny bit/song called "Guitar Guy" a few years ago, and my guess is that John Mayer got his start being _that_ guy.
ReplyDeleteI find him ugly, boring, and faux intellectual. Yuck!
ReplyDeleteWhy is this tool dressing like a pirate now?
ReplyDeleteDon't think so....
ReplyDeleteHe is so ick nast.
ReplyDeleteI'm tired of hearing about this walking herpe.
ReplyDeleteThere is a note a about what John's all about. It's called "the internet."
ReplyDeleteWhite chicks really have to stop falling for any guy that can play 3 chords on an acoustic guitar.
ReplyDeleteLOL Chris - Love it. You are so right. Women are just as big a problem because more than half have zero self-esteem and just fall for bullshit...
ReplyDeleteHe looks like he would stink. No wonder people compare him to Johnny Depp.
ReplyDeleteI liked DListed's headline, "Douchebag of the Caribbean." Summed this asshat up perfectly.
ReplyDeleteThis guy is disgusting and Nicholas Hoult is a babe.
ReplyDeleteAmber,
ReplyDeleteRight on. There are lots of us ladies who will always go for the "bad boy" who inevitably says exactly what we want to hear, who even though we know his history and what a prick he is think we're going to be the one to tame him and that somehow we're different from all the rest.
I never understood the appeal of the bad boy who breaks your heart. Life is short!! Too short to have agravation with someone who obviously doesnt care for u!! Dont get it.
DeleteHe is talented, though.
ReplyDeleteHe looks very unhealthy in that pic.
Cant say I blame him! Jen is hawt!!!! But hopefully, for her sake, she’s smart too :)
ReplyDeleteHe has no chance with either Zooey or Jen. Lol he wishes.
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that the first words out of my mouth when I read the header were "Run, Jennifer, run!"?
ReplyDeleteZooey's probably already heard about his, um, antics through others in the music business, so I'm not worried about her.
@timebob: Oh, yeah--that was Taylor's PSA to the women of the world!
Why can't he hook up with Lindsey? That way both of them can stop spreading their skankiness to others.
ReplyDeletesweet jimminy christmas! I dont get the appeal of John Mayer...he isnt attractive, talks/dresses/acts like an asshat,is only marginally talented, and talks shit about every woman that he has been with. If that is what I'm supposed to be looking for in a partner, I'm just gonna give up and make my lady business just for show.
ReplyDeleteHis head is HUGE! Way out of proportion for the rest of him, or anyone else for that matter.
ReplyDeleteI hear he is texting Chloe Moretz a lot, laying the groundwork for when she turns 18 in a few years.
ReplyDeleteSick :(
DeleteWasn't this a blind a little bit ago?
ReplyDeleteHe is so unattractive and his music suuuuuucks! I don't get the attraction, I really don't.
ReplyDeleteRun Jen. Run fast and run far.
ReplyDeleteLook long and deep... into the face.... of syphilis. I just think it turned him cray cray. I dont get his appeal and he only writes music to get laid.... and if his facial expressions during sex are anything like they are when his playing guitar.... oh man that face is ugly.
ReplyDelete@Sadie - do you seriously think it's syphillis? I'm being serious, cause the dude looks bad.
DeleteSomething is really wrong with his health im glad u saw it too. I do have a short story about a friend who had an intense thing with him about five or more years ago she was an up and coming singer whos career has now stalled... but at one time she was doing shows all over the LA area... she was head over heels. He broke her heart and this wasnt as shocking to me as some other things she told me about his kinks and preferences.... I personally never met him to clairify... and last year after he ignored my friend forever she gets a myspace message from him saying he will be in SF for a few nights please come see him. So she does. Whatever he told her when they talked devestated her. She told me he is having health problems on top of drug addiction and alcohol. I think its worse than syphillus really. Since he hurt my friend I dont care for him... and it took me a whole night to get a response from her letting me share her tale... I agreed not to tell her name and a few other things so that is all I know frufra.
DeleteThis picture just proves that Enty's blinds are the real deal. Remember the one about the b list singer dressing up as a famous character played by an alist who the singer resembles, then says that he is the actor when people mistake him? Look at how well worn Mayer's boots are on the toe? An effing pirate costume?? You douche. As if he's been wearing them 24 hours a day for the past year? MMMhmmm. What a supertool. Everyone knows what he is now, so the jig is up. No one but a desperate, needy, famewhore, groupy would hook up with him now, but there's plenty of those. He's just a starfucker, as well as an outright fraud for impersonating Johnnny Depp. What a cad!
ReplyDeleteNever got his appeal, never liked his singing or songs, and just looking at him brings the word "douche" to mind, so I'm perplexed. And since everyone knows he likes to play with poop in the bedroom, and given his track record of humping, dumping and stumping, why would any woman in her right mind even consider going out with him?
ReplyDeleteHe looks like a renaissance faire or Medieval Times reject.
ReplyDeletePadawan Douchebag.
ReplyDeleteOh John. Maybe if he wasn't so into poop play he might have a chance? Then again,that might be too vanilla for his liking.
ReplyDeleteI think he is very attractive aside from this new look. It is that whole kiss and tell then smear em all over the place personna which makes him too douchey to secretly covet.
John dresses as a pirate everywhere he goes and Lindsay parties dressed as Liz. It's Halloween in June with these people.
ReplyDeleteA big thing alot of people forget -
ReplyDeleteAttraction isn't visual. Sight is actually one of the weakest senses humans have. Attraction is much more based on scent and taste.
And the trait that women love the most - confidence. Which is a polite way of saying "asshole."
Ergo, you can be a handsome guy, but if you're laid back and you don't exude sexual charisma, you will get no where (Zac Efron.)
Or you can be a hideous chimera, but if you stink of sex and are a raging douche bag, you will get girls (Sean Penn, John Mayor, Wilmer Valdemarra).
Biology always beats logic.
To address the "he looks like he smells" comments, most douches I've known - and I've known a few, shame, I know... - all spent a lot of time grooming themselves [to look like they didn't, really], and they all smelled fantastic.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I met John after one of his concerts a few years back, and he smelled SO damn good!! Seriously! I wish I knew what he was wearing so I could smell it again!
RUN FOR THE HILLS, WOMAN! JOHN MAYER'S AN EVIL TURD!
ReplyDeleteMrWolf, right on! Every time somebody is baffled because some dude cheated on his hot wife with someone who's plain, that is exactly what I want to say to them.
ReplyDeleteWasn't he Super Duper Cooper in the TC blinds?
ReplyDeleteRUN Jennifer RUN!!!!!
ReplyDelete