Friday, June 29, 2012

Four For Friday - Kindness

It's Friday. The last Friday before reveals. It is not too late to send in your photo for reader photos, but I have to get it by 6pm on Tuesday July 3rd because I have received so many, it is going to take a while to get them all up and posted. Send them to entlawyer90210@yahoo.com. If you have not seen your photo yet, you will. Be patient. I post them in the order I receive them. What else? Oh yeah. usually on Saturdays I do a reveal, but tomorrow, there will not be one. I need to start organizing for the reveals so there will be light posting. On Sunday though, should be some posting and I will shoot for a reveal on that day. Twitter. Please follow me on Twitter. The thing you click on is over there--> or you can just find @entylawyer. I had an interesting blind over there yesterday which was not on the site. If you want to talk to me on Twitter, the best time is usually in the mornings or late at night on the weekend when I have had a few drinks.


This actor is A list. He is all movies all the time. This one is so easy, I probably should not have said he is A list. How many A list actors are there anyway? More than you think if you decide that headlining a movie makes you A list. Does that mean that the guy who headlined Van Wilder 3 is A list? Yikes. Anyway, our A list actor does some very quiet, very substantial charity work. How substantial? Millions of dollars a year substantial. If you are poor and cannot afford rehab, this actor has given away so much money to prominent rehab clinics so that people can afford to go to the same places he went to. They pass out "scholarships," or "grants." It is basically our actor paying for it. Complete a rehab program and stay sober for a few months? Don't be surprised if you get an offer for a job at some company that is paying you from money this actor gave to that company for that purpose. Someone to pay to watch your kids while you are in rehab and can't work? "Financial Assistance Program." Need your rent paid? That too. Anything he can do or thought of which he needed during his recovery he does for others who can't afford it. He says that he was helped by so many and given so many breaks and that is what allowed him to stay clean and he wants to do the same for as many others as he possibly can. Does he talk about it? Nope. This is his personal way that he gives back and doesn't feel that it is something that needs to be shared with the world and for him to get credit for. It is one recovering person helping another recovering person.

173 comments:

  1. Wow, Tom and Katie are divorcing -- way to go enty, you called it

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  2. Colin Farrell-- RDJ did Ally McBeal (TV)

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  3. RDJ, am I right or am I right?

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  4. Anonymous10:13 AM

    No clue, but when will enty post about Tom and Katie divorcing? It's up on people

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  5. RDJ is the man. How classy of him not to blab about it

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  6. This makes me love RDJ more, which I didn't even realize was possible. What a guy.

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  7. Too easy. Even I got this one.

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  8. Anonymous10:14 AM

    Has to be RDJ...I don't care about that "All movies" comment. This man is amazing.

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  9. Yep, RDJ. Good for him.

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  10. from EDM comment on prev thread-

    Breaking News- Tom and Katie divorce.

    See TMZ or Kneepads.

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  11. Meant EDW was the reader name.

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  12. Hmmmm, who could it be?

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  13. Love this one, whoever it is.

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  14. Most of us would want this to be RDJ.

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  15. I want to guess RDJ, but he's done TV.

    Colin Farrell otherwise

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. OMG!!! I came here for the RDJ and I got a bonus TomKat divorce round.

    Love you CDANers!!

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  18. Colin Farrell is not A list. Yes RDJ briefly did Ally McBeal 11 years ago and SNL 4597 years ago for a season, but he's all movies otherwise and don't know who else this could realistically be.

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  19. I have no idea but I love kindness blinds.

    This TomKat biz is freaking me out. Enty called it though, right?

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  20. I love this so hard, if it is in fact RDJ.

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  21. I think it's Mel Gibson

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  22. No one wants to guess Ben??

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  23. This is awesome. What a beautiful soul.

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  24. RE: Tom and Katie...amazing.

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  25. Yea, RDJ -- good for him. He is one of the few actors who I will go see no matter what the movie... if he makes a video of himself reading a phonebook, I'll be there! :)

    So not surprised about TomKat -- they lasted longer than I thought.

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  26. TomKat: Contract expired!

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  27. RDJ is a closet Republican.

    I was reading a Men's Journal article on him from a few years back, and the writer stated that while looking at the pics in his home he saw one of RDJ, the wife and GWB proudly on display.

    Not that I voted for GWB...but I could at least watch the man speak, and would go out of my way just to do that (I'm a c-span junkie, or was). Can't say that now.

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  28. RDJ. The "all movies all the time" COULD just mean that that's his focus NOW, despite previous TV work. And it totally sounds like him. And I wanna believe it is. :-)

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  29. RDJ, of course. Hmmmm, so the way to pitch RDJ a script is to go into rehab? OK....

    (Nice commentary about the definition of A-list, Enty. But your blog is the one stretching the definition of A-list.)

    I'm calling it first: Katie's dad either negotiated a five-year contract or worked in opt-out clauses that Tommy Girl tripped over. Katie gets to walk away with enough custody edge to keep Suri from becoming a COS-bot.

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  30. Anonymous10:26 AM

    I think when enty says "All movies" or "only does movies" means 99% of the time they do movies 1% could be a couple of episodes on certain shows.

    And yes...RDJ

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  31. I love that all the popular guess for kindness blinds are either Hugh Jackman or RDJ. Because I love them both.

    For someone different, I'll throw out there Samuel L. Jackson or maybe Philip Seymore Hoffman (both who I think are A list, though some may disagree). They have both been to rehab and seem really cool.

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  32. God bless whomever this is!

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  33. The TomKat wedding cost $3.5m - or $700k for each year of the marriage.

    I don't know I'm obsessed with this calculation. I just am.

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  34. RDJ has done so little TV, so long ago, that that clue doesn't preclude him. What other true A-list star has the gobs and gobs of money at the moment to do such a kindness, and the personal sympathy to do it for people with drug problems?

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  35. RDJ, we love you...thanks so being so freakin' groovy, dude...

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  36. @ B. Profane - ^ No one; it's RDJ. And while he's probably A list for life, I would not call Mel Gibson recovered, as someone else guessed.

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  37. Steppy where are you? I KNOW you got something to say about all this! ;-)

    This is going to be all everyone talks about all weekend long.

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  38. @B.Profane, We had a previous thread where many determined that K will not leave Co$ or speak about it , the divorce will appear quite civil, and K's Dad atty will have influence in the end in getting what she wants- no loss of her daughter. It will likely continue until the little girl is 18.Then K can write whatever she wants.

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  39. And also, probably only a portion of the "millions a year" would be tax-deductible, so this really would be a big kindness.

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  40. @Brenda, Steppy will either be stalking T.C. or 'our Vicki' :)

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  41. If RDJ will stand by Mel when no one else would, is it a shock or even surprise that this is him? If this isn't revealed to be RDJ, then that just means that there is someone else as caring - which would be awesome to see! Perhaps this blind is stretching the truth just a little bit as to the lengths he will go to EVERY time, this doesn't surprise me in the least. If RDJ was Himmmm, now THAT would surprise me...

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    1. Himmmm is fantastically entertaining, but he's not RDJ. He is Hollywood royalty, no way is he posting on here.

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  42. Oh yeah and the blind...das Himmmm I'm thinking.

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  43. No wonder Katie's been smiling..
    On the kindness...this makes me smile. And it's only right they make so much money give back a bit.

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  44. Enty, please read your own blog, you read called this 10:08 est, meaning you could have been on facebook/twitter about 30 minutes earlier. Geez.

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  45. meant "your reader EDW"

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  46. I, too, think definitely RDJ. Plus, who else has that kind of money? I'd say RDJ is far and away the most highly compensated actor working right now. Raking in millions and millions off of Iron Man and Avengers movies in merchandising alone. Then you factor in his huge salaries for those movies plus the Sherlock Holmes movies.

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  47. RDJ was my first thought too.

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  48. I'm saying that Katie is going to walk away with almost no strings attached. A gag clause is a minor matter. Daddy Holmes, I'm guessing, has set things up to whup Tommy and the Scieno establishment at their own game.

    Think about it: if Katie can just walk away from Tom and COS with Suri and fame and a good chunk of change, that will be seen as a defeat for COS. Another crack in the rotten empire of lies.

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  49. How about RDJ on SNL? Enty is mind effing us!

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  50. Yay, I got it without even looking at the comments! This just makes RDJ even sexier.

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  51. "all movies all the time"

    These days, right? B/c if you consider their whole career...?

    Depending, it's either RDJ (SNL and two seasons on Ally McBeal, some cameos/voicework) or Owen Wilson (a few brief TV cameos and voicework). RDJ's struggles have been very public, Owen's, less so (but he's a pretty low-key guy, not like the manic Mr. RDJ), but he continues to work and I suspect that includes a LOT of support and second-chances behind the scenes. I could see either one, no preference. Of course, we all suspect RDJ is plugged-in here, though, so there's that.

    Regardless, this is someone who understands the struggles of addiction, that it's one day at a time -- for the rest of your life, that it's not just the addict who needs support and that stability (like getting to keep working) is a tremendous help in staying clean. What a wonderful person. What lucky beneficiaries -- I wish them ALL the best.

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  52. RDJ, no doubt. In every story I have ever read or heard about him, and from what comes from his mouth as well in interviews, he walks the walk. And good for him for never talking about it. Many actors are d-bags in real life, but he is one crush I have maintained since my youth! :)

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  53. Owen Wilson isn't a bad guess per se, but he does not have anywhere near RDJ's bankroll of the past 4-5 years. Hall Pass was funny, but doubt he raked in 100 mil from it.

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  54. My man RDJ-fo' sho. :)

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  55. I'd say RDJ. Sure he was on SNL back when I was born(making you feel old yet?) and he was on Ally Mcbeal. Out of the 75 titles he's listed as an actor on only 5 of those are TV and I would say Ally McBeal was part of his comeback. After the issues he's faced it's hard to just jump back into being bankable in a movie. Other then Ally, I think he did a guest voice on Family guy but who hasn't? in the last 10 years he has done NO TV. Also the blind doesn't say that the actor has NEVER done TV. It says, "He is all movies all the time". Look at RDJ list. In the last 4 years he has done 8 movies. 8! I'd say that fits with "He is all movies all the time".

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  56. what was yesterday's twitter blind?

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  57. What a thoroughly nice chap. Wish there were more people like him.

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  58. Thanks for the reminder of RDJ on Ally McBeal. I loved him on that show; wasn't there a scene where they sat at the piano and he (or they) sang? I know I got goosebumps at the time.

    But, I digress...

    The person in this blind is awesome, period.

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  59. Anonymous11:04 AM

    I didn't know I could love Robert Downey Jr. any more than I already did. *Sigh*

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  60. You're right, this one is too easy.

    The more I know about RJD, the more I like him.

    If he would do more public charity work, he would win that humanitarian Oscar.

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  61. Obviously RDJ. Need more in Hollywood like him, true heart and zero ego problems.

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  62. And THAT is the true meaning of philanthropy. *warm fuzzy feeling*

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  63. Anonymous11:23 AM

    Omama, what was the point of trying to bring up politics in a nice, feel-good kindness blind?

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  64. Why, our patron saint Tony Stark, of course, with Nick Fury probably being the next best guess! Sam might have enough money built up over the course of his career to make something like this happen; I doubt Philip Seymour Hoffman has that much money, and while I wouldn't be surprised if Colin Farrell was helping people in recovery, I don't think he could do it on this scale. And yes, when someone's last real TV work was 10+ years ago, I think it's safe to say "all movies."

    @OMAMA: I read that article, too, and a few others, and the impression I get is that, while he's more conservative on some issues (particularly crime, based on his own experiences in dealing w/his fellow prisoners), he's still pretty liberal on a lot of hot-button social issues, and is basically too compassionate to be a modern-day Republican. (Besides, wasn't he spotted at an Obama fundraiser with Clooney not long ago? Somehow I don't think he's being a GOP sleeper agent...)

    Before all the Republicans reading this start screaming, hear me out: The party now is NOT what the party was 30+ years ago, or even 10+ years ago--the ideology has become extreme right-wing to a degree that all the moderates, or even just those willing to look at all sides of the issues and work together with everyone else, are not welcome under the "big tent"; the more extreme the rhetoric, the better, to the point where the presidential candidates were ratcheting up the extremism purely to prove they weren't "liberal" and to keep the hardcore ideologists from tearing them apart. Republicans weren't arguing about birth control 30 years ago; they weren't cheering at the idea of some poor bastard dying because he didn't have health insurance; and they weren't denying that pollution, etc. was a serious issue, although global warming wasn't really an issue at that point. (Hello, wasn't the EPA started under Nixon?) People on both sides of the aisle were willing to work together for the common good, and they don't/won't/can't anymore. (Yes, Democrats who cross party lines get their butts kicked, but Republicans who do likewise are practically tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail.) That's not to say everyone who calls themselves a Republican is a horrible person, because of course that's not true, but the party itself, its attitudes and its goals have run totally off the rails. Hell, as a Democrat, I'd love to have an opposing party that one could actually discuss topics with in a civilized matter, and try to come to an agreement about what would be best for all the American people...the current GOP, alas, just ain't it.

    (And no, I'm not a screaming Obama fangirl; I'm quite aware he's not perfect and disagree on a number of areas. However, overall the Democrats' platform is much closer to my own beliefs and morals, which is why I'm sticking with it. OK, end of rant... *steps off soapbox*)

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  65. God bless him, whoever he is.

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  66. Anyway back to the subject at hand..... RDJ seems like a good guess. Whoever it is, deserves to be able to keep his privacy. I'm a strong proponent of "Magnificent Obsession type philanthropy.

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  67. whomever he is, I love him.

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  68. I'm just going to go in another direction and say Ben Affleck

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  69. Robin, you're assuming that your average A/B-list film star is smart enough to understand the subtleties of party ideology and the humility to understand the limits of their ignorance. They're not and they don't.

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  70. Perhaps Steppy is licking her wounds?

    Whoever it is I need them to help me..I think about going to rehab every day and not even being funny.

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  71. Just because RDJ was at an Obama fund-raiser (probably because of the influence of his liberal wife) doesn't mean he'll pull the lever for Obama in November. From what I've read, I think RDJ is a closet Repub, too. But it's dangerous to admit that out loud in Hollywood.

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  72. All movies ALL the time means NO TV. I don't think Mel Gibson has ever done TV and RDJ has. It could be Mel, but I'm not sure...

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  73. I'm with CarolMR on the sub.

    And the point was (in bringing up his political affiliation), that RDJ is NOT a go with the flow kinda guy. He thinks for himself and that, my friends is what makes him uniquely special.

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  74. RE: RDJ and politics...didn't he say something in an interview about how his politics changed after being in prison? And the way he worded it was kind of strange, and I wasn't sure what it meant, i.e. was he more liberal and supportive of those in prison now, or more conservative and wanted harsher punishments, or what? Does anyone else remember this? I'll try to find it...

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  75. OBAMA is BROKO, you're exactly right. RDJ is not a go with the flow guy. Which means just because he's in show business doesn't automatically make him side with liberals all the time. He's much more interesting.

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  76. RDJ is a good guess but I'm feeling Ben Affleck on this one. I know he's paid for other actors' rehab stints at that big Malibu place (Promises?). Kevin Smith even outed him for doing in it one of his books.

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  77. Ah, here we go...

    http://videogum.com/9214/robert_downey_jrs_conservative/politics/

    And the quote...

    "I have a really interesting political point of view, and it’s not always something I say too loud at dinner tables here, but you can’t go from a $2,000-a-night suite at La Mirage to a penitentiary and really understand it and come out a liberal. You can’t. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone else, but it was very, very, very educational for me and has informed my proclivities and politics every since."

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  78. I could care less if RDJ is a Republican and I am one. not all elephants have changed their whole ideology. How could the base be so far right and pick a moderate like Mitt?!? It is normally the wackos on either side creating the controversy...And as for it not being safe to be a Republican in Hollywood?!? I bet the ratio is higher of closeted Republicans than outspoken Republicans, but there are plenty of them and for some reason action stars are some of the loudest...

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  79. AKM, I also found that quote in the New York Times. It sounds as if RDJ came out of the penitentiary more conservative than liberal. That was in 2008. Maybe he's changed since then, but I still think he's a closet Repub/conservative. Richard Pryor said something along those lines after he got out of jail - he said he hopes those guys he met there NEVER get out, that's how scared he was of them.

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  80. Anonymous11:53 AM

    Robin, where have you EVER seen any Republican "cheering at the idea of some poor bastard dying because he didn't have health insurance?" I've never once seen that. I've seen Republicans who do not think that the current health care plan is the way to go, and are very opposed to it (as am I), but your statement is ridiculous. And I LOVE how you act as if Democrats are somehow the only kind, cooperative people in Washington. Yesterday a former Obama White House advisor and head of the DNC tweeted, "It's constitutional, bitches" and "TAKE THAT, MOTHERFUCKERS!" (all caps are his). Yeah, really nice and polite. So classy. Does that sound like someone willing to "discuss topics in a civilized manner?" Not to me. And it's not just him. I've seen plenty of Democrats say terrible things about Republicans and conservatives in general. But I guess that gets a pass from you, right?

    I'm also pissed about your crack about how Republicans aren't compassionate. That is total bullshit. I know plenty of compassionate Republicans. They just don't go around telling everyone how compassionate and caring they are. And they realize that there is a BIG difference between being compassionate and being a complete pushover.

    I'm not saying that Republicans are all wonderful. They aren't. But Democrats aren't, either. There are plenty of assholes in both parties. And for the record, I consider myself a Libbertarian.

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  81. Anonymous11:55 AM

    Or even a Libertarian.

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  82. Snowstorms, how many Hollywood stars go to Obama fundraisers compared to Romney fundraisers? Did Romney even have a Hollywood fundraiser? I doubt it - because outspoken Repubs in Hollywood are few and far between. There must be a reason for that.

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  83. RDJ is not a republican. Look at the guy. Do any of his "isms"/ways say conservative to you? He had one quote when he came out of prison...something like "It's hard to come out of prison all liberal when you see what I saw in there" (i.e., he's more hard line re: crime/criminals/punishment than when he went in). I don't think that one quote means he's a republican. I'd bet my last dollar the guy is not an r. I'm not shunning republicans or HWood republicans, I'm just saying I don't think he's among them.

    Also, he just spent $40k to go to an Obama fundraiser at Clooney's house a month ago.

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  84. $40K is nothing to RDJ. And I still think he went because his wife is the liberal in the family and it's "cool" to be for Obama when you work in Hollywood.

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  85. CarolMR, the only thing 'dangerous' about being a Hollywood Republican is the social issues, like their position on Civil Rights for homosexuals. Most Hollywood-types ARE rich, after all.
    I suspect like a lot of Conservatives, the party has left him, and he's more of a Libertarian. Not that anyone ever votes for that candidate, but they may start.


    And frankly, as an old-school capital-L Liberal, I know many, many lifelong Republicans who have been won over by Obama. He's way more conservative than most D's I know, a CENTRIST (using ideas from both parties in every policy, practically), and a real hawk on Defense. Plus, he isn't concerned about anyone's color, their religion, their sexual identities, etc. that stuff is so last-century. Younger (under 40) Republicans are really being won over, because of the social issues & religion-pushing on the other side.

    Sorry-I can't stay in a political discussion. It's bad for my blood pressure, and I'm sick. I hope I haven't offended anyone. I know not all Republicans are bible-imposing, social bigots or misogynists, but the ones who are, are LOUD, and are turning people off. Just my observations over the last decade or so. That party HAS changed.

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  86. HalleGoLightly, RDJ's quote didn't say it's hard to come out of prison "all liberal"; he said it's hard to come out "a liberal." Big difference.

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  87. Just the fact that almost every single person (including myself) assumes this is RDJ says everything about the man. I don't even know if he realizes that if we had lost him during his struggle with addiction, how deeply hurt we would have been without him. On an incomprehensive level.

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  88. I think the answer to this blind is RDJ because it is something he would do. But the "all movies all the time" is confusing. Mel Gibson fits all movies all the time, but is he recovered? I can see Mel doing this to try to make up for the bad stuff he's done.

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  89. Texshan,

    Go back to the republican primaries. Ron Paul was asked if someone without health care should be refused treatment/allowed to die. He said yes. The republican crowd gave him roaring applause. I don't care what your positions are, when you cheer people dying you're a sick f*ck.

    Ron Johnson (r who took Feingold's seat in WI) just yesterday that employers should be able to deny health care coverage to cancer patients.

    Remember back to the health care town halls. There was a guy with parkinson's diseason sitting on the curb. R's mocked him, shouted him down, threw dollar bills at him.

    The r party has taken a hard turn to the right over the last decade (they'd hate Reagan now...they're in love with Reagan...but it's not the Reagan who actually lived/was president...it's their fantasy of him). The tea baggers have taken over the party (and they were quickly taken over by billionaires).

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  90. @Sherry:
    I'm not sure how to take your last comment. But if you're serious - then I hope you get the help you need.

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  91. I remember that quote, too. Keep in mind that there's liberal, and there's stereotypical "Hollywood Liberal," i.e., people like Susan Sarandon & Tim Robbins, or maybe Michael Moore, and my guess is that the latter was what he was thinking of. (Isn't that what most people think of when they hear the phrase "Hollywood Liberal"?) Spending time in the pokey would certainly disabuse one of any romantic notions about prisoners; I daresay he tends to feel that most of them are right where they need to be due to what they've done. (Do the crime, do the time.) I see him as being fairly conservative in that regard, no argument there. On the other hand, he's not out there with Patricia Heaton, et al. bitching about "the gays" and waging the culture wars; he strikes me as pretty live-and-let-live in regards to those kind of hot-button social issues. Above all, I definitely get the sense that he's a strong believer in personal responsibility, again based on his own life experience, which isn't considered a stereotypical liberal belief. (Mind you, a lot of us believe in it; then again, I think of myself as basically a moderate who's been shoved into the "liberal" category due to the rightward swing of American politics over the past 30 years.)

    TL;DR version: law and order issues, fairly conservative; social issues, apparently moderate; definite believer in taking responsibility for your own behavior. More conservative than the stereotypical "Hollywood Liberal," but nowhere near as conservative as some of the better-known Republicans in Hollywood. Sounds basically moderate to me, IMO... :-)

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  92. Eeewww, looks as if this thread got all political so I shall sidestep it all and simply say...

    Whomever this is, he's the BA-JOMB!!!

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  93. Oh man, stop with the political stuff! It's a GOSSIP site, where it's supposed to be fun and we're all supposed to and wonder and laugh together. If you want to debate this stuff, go to those sites that encourage that. I'm all for it on those forums.

    We are supposed to be talking about this guy who is helping people. Lighten up!

    Sorry to be so blunt but you're dragging the rest of us down. And it gets old.

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  94. I love this one. My first thought was RDJ. Mmmmm?

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  95. RDJ all the way!!!

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  96. I don't think it's unpopular as some here think it is to be an avowed conservative in HWood. Cons always talk about some blacklist for conservative actors. Voight, Tom Selleck, Patty Heaton, Kelsey Grammer, John Ratzenberger, ...pretty much any conservative I can think of gets consistent work (even after they've had multiple failures). These people are celebrated by conservatives, so they gain instant popularity when they come out as righties. To many on the right, actor should shut up and act (or shut up and sing)...unless the actor is conservative, then they're a patriot. Maybe some people don't want to hear politics come out of an entertainer's mouth. But it seems most people like it when actors/athletes/singers speak out - but only when it's on their side.

    Tom Selleck once said that his views never cost him a job, but they probably never got him one either. I'd say that's the extent of any "blacklist." Some of those who don't work as much (Chuck Norris, Robert Davy, Victoria Jackson) probably don't get work because they're not very talented. Almost all the best actors are libs. A lot of the cons are C list actors at best. That's not to bash conservatives, it's just the way it is in that line of work. I think it helps to be liberal as an actor because liberals are more empathetic (bleeding heart). It's probably why most actors are lefties. You have to be able to draw on emotions/be empathetic/put yourself in the character's shoes. Libs are probably drawn to that line of work like cons are to some other line of work.

    Everyone chooses to associate with those more like themselves than those who aren't like themselves. What are there, 10,000 working actors at any given time (successful working actors...not $6,000 a year theater actors)? If most are liberal, so what? I put myself through school working at insurance/annuity firms. Every single one (Nationwide, Aegon, etc...) were very conservative (including political e-mails sent to workers). The bosses were all conservative. It wasn't popular to be an outspoken liberal in those places. It was more like a good old boys network. Now think how many people work for these companies in the US. There are a lot more of us (lefties) in these jobs than there are righties in HWood.

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  97. And I agree with others. We shouldn't talk politics here. I apologize to all, as I'm guilty of it. We are VERY divided by politics in this country. I'm a big time lefty who's conservative on some issues (crime, discipline). We (me and Carol, me and Texshan, every D and every R in the country) probably have a lot more in common than we think. But political hacks make eleventy billion dollars a year getting us all ginned up/hating each other. It's messed up.

    Anyway, no more politics in this thread from my end. My bad.

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  98. Both parties suck:)

    Both parties are filled with big government:)

    Both parties lie:)

    I was born a Roman Catholic Irish liberal but I will die a free person:)

    ..and Sherry, are you OK? Because I think that the point of the post was concern about folks who might need it?

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  99. @Texshan: I never said all Republicans were assholes; in fact, I specifically said that I knew they weren't all that way. However, the squeaky wheels get the grease, and it's the loudest people in the party who get attention; unfortunately, too many of them are the kind who make everyone else look bad, and when extreme statements start becoming party orthodoxy, well...that's not a good thing IMNSHO.

    As for why Mitt's the nominee: he (a) raised the most money, and (b) is the one the party feels most likely to be able to win the election, with the latter being the biggest concern--the party knew it didn't have a snowball's chance in hell at winning if, say, Rick "birth control is EEEEEEVIL!" Santorum was the nominee. (My parents are fairly conservative in their own way, and according to my mom, my dad came stomping out of the living room after seeing Santorum on TV, swearing a blue streak that there was NO way he'd EVER vote for that $%#&*+! %@#$&*!, or anyone else who thought like him re: birth control, etc. When you've pissed off a conservative 80-year-old man in upstate rural NH, you're probably not going to be able to win the election...just sayin'.) Hey, I'm in Massachusetts--we already know here that Mittens'll do anything to get elected :-) , and when various leading Republicans flat-out state that their whole focus is on Getting Obama Out, then it makes sense that they'd go with the candidate who might be able to make it happen.

    I also said I don't agree with everything the Democrats do, and I don't. (The Sterling Law online, after all, says the argument is rendered null and void as soon as Hitler/Nazis are invoked, and that goes for anyone using the terms, no matter what their party affiliation.) FWIW, if this were 1970 or so, Obama would fit in the Republican Party of that time quite nicely; he's actually pretty damn conservative in a lot of ways (too conservative for a lot of Democrats, truth be told; but again, the political rightward swing means you have to come across as more conservative to even be electable to higher office.) If one really wants to see socialism in action, go to Scandinavia; if you want communism, go to Cuba or Vietnam; if you want Nazism (and how can one be both a socialist & a Nazi? they're diametrically opposed), take a trip back in time 70 years ago or so. None of those things are currently living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, though, I promise you.

    Again, I'm not attacking any one individual, and none of this is intended as a personal attack on you--really, if I wanted to start a fight with you, I'd mention you specifically...but I didn't. I can't stop you from taking it personally if you insist on doing so, but I was speaking in terms of the party as a whole, so don't snap for that bait unless I've hung a sign over the worm w/your name on it, OK?

    (This is what happens when you spent an evening watching/schmoozing w/Billy Bragg--you get involved in political arguments, I mean, discussions, online... ;-)

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  100. That's Ok Robin. Please go get us and share a good Brownie recipe. The Death by Chicken was insane !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  101. OK, I'll shut up about politics now, having said my piece. *puts soapbox away*

    Now...how about that RDJ? :-) Republican, Democrat, Pastafarian, who cares? Can we just clone this guy and have done with it? We need more people like that around, and whether or not he's the subject of the blind, we already know he's a good guy, right?

    (And Sherry, good luck getting whatever it is you need, and if there's something we can do, please let us know, OK?)

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  102. Ditto (as usual) Agent*It. (Roman Catholic Slovene here). I know some Republicans who are total assholes, but most are pretty good people. I also know some Democrats who are assholes, but most are just as decent. Unfortunately, the decent people aren't the ones running for office. Someday, probably not in my lifetime, the truth about the "different" parties will come out - same ideas, different presentation. The only thing they're interested in is power and where they can get it. And we're the dumb saps who give it to them.

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  103. My first thoughts were Mel Gibson or RDJ.

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  104. As by popular request:

    Double Chocolate Espresso Brownies

    1 cup white sugar
    3/4 cup white flour (I use unbleached)
    1/2 tsp. salt
    1 heaping tablespoon instant espresso powder (find in ethnic section of grocery store)
    1/3-1/2 cup cocoa powder (depending on how potent it is)
    1 stick (1/2 cup) softened butter
    2 large eggs
    1 teaspoon vanilla extract (use the real stuff, for God's sake!)
    1 cup/6 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips

    Combine all dry ingredients in bowl; mix well. Add butter and cut in to the point of having smaller pieces instead of big hunks of butter, then add the eggs, 1 at a time, and beat in. If the dough is way too stiff, add cool water a tablespoon at a time, until it's liquid enough to stir well and spread in the pan, but not too runny. Add vanilla extract, stir in, then add chocolate chips and mix until well-blended. (Back when I was young and foolish, I used an entire 12-oz. package of chips, which really turns these into solid rocket fuel; my musician acquaintances and I, alas, are now all getting old and just can't handle that anymore.) Pour/spread into greased 11" x 7" brownie/biscuit pan, or 8-9" square pan, sift 1 tablespoon of white sugar over the top of the batter (or cinnamon sugar if you're going for the cappucino effect), and bake for about 25 minutes or so in a pre-heated 350F oven--check brownies regularly, and test with a toothpick or broom straw. If the batter is still gloopy, pop 'em back in for another 5 minutes or so; if the top is reasonably firm overall and crusty-looking, they're probably done; just try not to let them get too hard around the edges (which is damn tricky, so sometimes I just cut the edges off)--these are much better slightly underbaked than overbaked. Let cool enough that you don't burn the hide off your tongue eating them, and cut up in whatever way works for you. Enough to make you & several of your friends wired for days; they're really the best flavor-wise the first couple of days, but no one I've known has ever turned them down on ground of staleness.

    Bon appetit! :-)

    (And no, I've never made these w/pot or hash, especially because weed is too damn expensive for the amount needed, although I've always been curious as to how they'd turn out. I suppose melting the butter and steeping the green stuff in it before straining it out and letting the butter cool might be the best for extracting THC, but I can't tell you for sure. If any of you do try it, though, let me know how it turned out, OK?)

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  105. Colin Farrell has done TV (Scrubs), more importantly he's not been in a big money block buster in a while and most of his money goes to his two baby-mama's plus one of his kids has special needs (Angelman's). PLUS the majority of his charity work (with the exception of the occassion homeless person) is with kids with special needs. He does a ton of work with the Special Olympics here in the US and in Ireland.

    The man is perfect but this blind is not him.

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  106. Thank you, Robin. I have to make Brownies for the Italy- Spain soccer game at my Italian bro-in-law house on Sunday. The Mayor of his City will be there, so I will make 2 different batches, hehehe, don't tell the mayor:)

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  107. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  108. Anonymous1:23 PM

    Halle, that Ron Paul quote was widely reported -- incorrectly. Ron Paul NEVER said that. In fact, when Wolf Blitzer asked him outright if the man should be "allowed to die," Paul said no. The applause came when Paul said that if someone who is healthy and makes a good living chooses not to get health insurance, they are making a risky choice and need to accept that there may be consequences. That's it. Chris Matthews libeled Paul on his show, and other media sources were too damn lazy to do their own background check before repeating it. It's absolutely FALSE.

    Re: Johnson, yes, he said that. He also said that insurance is not a right (which I agree with), and that "when you create a right for somebody, you create an obligation for someone else ... maybe that doesn't seem all that great, but it's true." So tell me this -- if someone chooses not to get insurance, then gets cancer, then demands insurance coverage, and the employer is legally required to provide it, what do you think that is going to do to everyone else's premiums? Everyone else, by the way, who has been paying their premiums this whole time, while the guy with cancer hasn't paid ANY money into the program and now expects it to pay for his care. Does that really sound fair to you?

    Finally, re: the town hall meeting -- yes, two people were nasty to a guy with Parkinson's. Which was awful. But you failed to add that they both also publicly apologized for their actions and made donations to a Parkinson's charity.

    Please, everyone, do some research on your own before you just blindly accept what the media tells you, regardless of whether it's a political issue. I worked in the field for a long time. I know how lazy, bigoted and just downright stupid some reporters are. Think for yourself, don't let others tell you how to think.

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  109. No matter who this is, I say more power to him. What a fine thing to do. And what a great example of doing the steps.

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  110. Count me in on the RDJ guesses. He's a class act all around, and I got nothing but love for him.

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  111. Anonymous1:32 PM

    Thank you, Robin, SO MUCH, for now making me crave chocolate. You suck. :-)

    I didn't take it personally, really. But I'm also not going to let unfair generalizations go unchallenged. Like I said, I am a Libertarian. I disagree with the GOP on tons of things. But I also think that conservatives/Republicans get painted with a really broad stroke as being buttholes, while those doing it conveniently fail to admit that the other party has its share of jerks, too. Let's face it, most politicians are douches. There aren't any "Mr. Smith" types anymore. And I've said for years that only a raging egomaniac would run for president.

    Also, I realllllly think you are reaching on the "Obama would have fit in with the GOP 40 years ago" thing.

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  112. "As by popular request:

    Double Chocolate Espresso Brownies"

    Thanks, I'll get my foodie daughter to make a batch. I had one of your brownie recipes on file from years ago but it seems to have been lost to bit entropy.

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  113. Not a bad way to spend all that Avengers back end.

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  114. @Texshan, I'm a closeted Libertarian.

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    Replies
    1. Ditto Agent**It! I am off the charts on the test/business card they pass out, but I am a registered R...

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  115. @Sherry - I've been there. I'm here with an ear if you need it: prairielandvintage at gmail xoxox

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  116. omg LOVE this!
    whoever it is (RDJ according to most gueses and I could totally see that)
    PLEASE reproduce yourself because the world needs more people like you!

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  117. @Agent**It
    jaja
    you should totally get the major high ;)
    im also watching that match!!! am so EXCITED!!!! :D :D

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  118. @agentIt you're a soccer fan?????? Ur my new BFF!!! Who r u rooting for? I'm obsessed!!!!!

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  119. The clue is "this one is so easy". Obviously, we are all going to guess our favorite A-lister.

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  120. This is actually good information to know, as we have been trying to figure out how to afford a rehab program for my husband. I didn't know they had assistance programs.

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  121. Robin you're right about the butter the oil absorbs the THC but you steep the pot slow simmer in water then add the butter. Push thru muslin then let it cool before removing now green butter.

    If you can get hold of it, leaf works better and is much cheaper.

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  122. Forgot to add very slow simmer for a couple of hours before you add the butter (big block) and the pot should be chopped up finely before you begin.

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  123. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irx_QXsJiao

    The end of this video has what someone was refering to when Wolf Blitzer asked Ron Paul if they should let the uninsured man die and unless you're at a Rolling Stones concert, screaming YEAH with such enthusiasm under these circumstances seems a bit inhumane to me.

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  125. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  126. @yawnathon: I appreciate your kindness..My eyes are leaking now. Gotta go and hide in plain site. I'm the master!

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  127. Ben Affleck is also a great guess!

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  128. RDJ, you are one classy dude. You are one of the few genuine people in Hollyweird.

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  129. Sherry, good luck. The longer you wait, the more "lost time" you will later regret. You are strong enough to do what you need to do, and the best time is now.

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  130. Texshan,

    Re: Ron Paul

    When Paul was asked..(after the guy "chose" -more on that later- not to pay for health care...he gets sick and needs treatment...are you saying society should let him die)...there was a loud "Yeah" which came from the audience. That's the mentality on the far right. It's winners vs losers. If you're a winner (if you "make it" economically), good for you. If you're loser (if you struggle economically), F you and go crawl in a hole and die somewhere. It's more than 2 people at a town hall. There's a widespread vitriol on the right that should be condemned. Instead we say it's isolated incidents and do the false equivalency thing ("What about ecoterrorists on the left?").

    Paul didn't literally say the "Yeah" (that was the audience), but he said yeah with his comments. He said that churches and neighbors should help the sick guy get better (so you're at the mercy of charity...obviously charity can't help everyone). That's what we have now. Every time someone gets a bad disease (almost all already have health insurance...the health insurance doesn't pay for it all), the community has a benefit for them. I think it's absurd that people have to have benefits to pay for their health care.

    Another point of contention...this conservative idea that most of the uninsured (1 in 6 people don't have health insurance) choose not to purchase health insurance. That was how Wolf Blitzer posed that question...that the person in question was young and successful, and chose not to pay for insurance. That's how it's always talked about, as if everyone without health insurance has $$ and just wants to spend it on something else. I think it's ridiculous. How many people choose not to pay for health care? If I go by what cons seem to believe, most of the uninsured decide they'd rather live in a house they can't afford or make payments on a BMW than pay for health insurance. I believe it's more like an overwhelming majority of people without health insurance "choose" not to buy it because:

    A) It's not really a choice. They LITERALLY cannot afford it. I know when I was without health insurance 6 years ago, it would've cost me around $290/month to have health insurance (my employer didn't provide it at the time). I literally didn't have the money.
    -OR-
    B) It's a choice inasmuch as they EITHER pay for health insurance OR pay for any kind of a life. For example, let's say you have $275 a month left over after every bill (including food, medicine, minimum student loan payment, gasoline, cell phone payment) is paid. You could get health insurance for $250 a month. That would leave you with $25 a month to go to a movie, drive somewhere that's not part of your normal routine (going to work, going to the market), get a sandwich at Panera a couple of times, etc... (so you literally sit home every hour of every day after you get home from work). -OR- You "choose" not to pay for health insurance, and you $275 left over to do a couple of things (go to a movie, eat a meal out, pay a little extra on your student loan, pay for a car repair). That's not really a choice, IMO. And all the aforementioned bills assume you have no credit card debt. Of course credit card debt only happens if you're an irresponsible spendthrift (not say, from something like having to charge groceries one week or charge an auto repair for which you don't have the $$).

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  131. I'm guessing it is probably a Blind Item "faux pas" to do this-- but I never get the answer and for once I solved it, but I'm late, and no one is there to read the justification from yesterday...

    The answer is Sarah Polley. The justification is outlined in yesterdays comments.

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  132. Of course it's important to talk about this. Harvard released a study in 2009 which indicated that 45,000 people die each year because they have no health insurance. That's abhorrent to me. We live in what is supposedly the greatest country on earth, and we allow this many people to die because they don't have health insurance (again, I say it's because they can't afford it...not because they'd rather drive a sports car). This says nothing of the fact that many people do have insurance and still die because their insurance doesn't cover everything, despite those people paying large sums of money for their insurance.

    Here's a couple who pays Blue Cross over $3,500 a month for health insurance premiums (in addition to a $3,000 annual deductible before 100% coverage kicks in) for them and their 2 daughters.

    http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/06/05/health-law-too-late-to-ease-some-premiums.html

    The wife had breast cancer a few years ago. They lost a daughter to cancer a few years ago. They have their own business, they pay all their bills. But until the 2014 provisions in "evil socialistic Obamacare" kick in (and maybe even if they do), they are virtually screwed. I suppose they're lucky they can afford the $3,500 a month (and $3,000 deductible). Very few could. But because they have pre-existing conditions, health care companies are allowed to screw them. I'm guessing you would argue that Blue Cross should be allowed to charge them whatever they see fit because the family is a risk (or should be able to deny them coverage because they are a risk). I don't share that view.

    Re: Johnson (WI)

    There are people who pay for insurance, pay all their premiums. Let's say one loses his/her job and loses coverage. Because of the gap in coverage, they should be able to have coverage denied them by their new employer? That's insane, IMO. I was in that position years back. I lost my job. I was offered COBRA insurance to the tune of $400 a month. Of course I couldn't afford it. I had a gap in coverage, so they could deny coverage in the future.

    Your argument is why I believe in single payer (and social security/medicare). Everyone should pay in and be allowed to take out. Maybe they should allow people like you to opt out of it/not pay those taxes, and go the private route. To each their own.

    Every industrialized country has universal coverage. Some have single payer, some (GermanY) have a mix of public and private. How can we afford to spend as much as the next 20-some countries combined on defense (much of it unnecessary), but not afford health care?

    I believe in a social safety net. I don't know how many true libertarians there are. Most people (even those against social programs) use them at some point. Here's a great article about people who need social help yet despise the help they get (basically they're against welfare even though they need it to survive...read Thomas Frank's "What's The Matter With Kansas?"):

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/12/us/even-critics-of-safety-net-increasingly-depend-on-it.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

    I live in Iowa. There are a lot of farmers here who receive farm subsidies (most of them do). Many of these people are conservatives who are against welfare. They receive welfare (farm subsidies). But because they receive the tax $$, it's not welfare. It's only welfare when its some single mother struggling to get by on the income from her crap job.

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  133. @texshan
    Do you realize that Affordable Care Act's broad outline came from the Republicans in late 80's or early 90's in response to calls for a single payer plan. That they disown and lie about its supposed flaws now without any acknowledgement of their past support is just morally repugnant.

    @Libby
    I think you have accurately described Obama. If you look at his policies over most of the last 50 years he could have been a candidate of either party. I am a white guy but I think much of the virulence of the anti Obama critics has its roots in racism.

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  134. I doubt anyone here really knows what RDJ's political ideology is. If I had to guess I'd say he's closer to libertarian than anything else. His comment about coming out of prison is likely pointed at a clear understanding that individuals are responsible for the outcome of their lives.

    No one gets clean without a sincere mea culpa in which they stop blaming everyone around them for their problems and own it. I've done enough work with addicts of various types to know what I'm talking about. Granted, a person can't always control what happens to them whether its their socio-economic beginnings or some type of abuse done to them. But they CAN ALWAYS control how they respond to what happens to them.

    "Victimology" in which a person/people group (the victim) is perpetually trying to get another person/people group to take a generalized responsibility for the "victim's" plight (absent of a specific discernible crime or injury) only leads to a perpetuation of the "victim's" problems. It NEVER leads to liberty or recovery.

    I think that is what RDJ meant when he said you can't come out of that experience with a liberal viewpoint.

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  135. Dear and gentle soccer fans , I married a first generation Italian, I have no choice but to root for Italy.

    As for the political crap, it is insurance reform, not health care reform, and to dismiss an opposite position and label it racist, is, absurd. And a cut and paste from the playbook.

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  136. Sherry, though I don't always agree with your opinions i do respect you and believe you are a caring, intelligent person.

    When you confided in us today you took the first step. Believe in your strengths and continue the journey.

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  137. Halle, thank you; you are awesome.

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  138. Sherry, let us know . Crawling out of the abyss is tough (no matter what the cause) but lots of folks have been there for various reasons and have made it out. Godspeed!

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  139. If this person does this all secretly and likes it that way, then why would you 'out' them. Please don't post this as a reveal.

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  140. Im guessing matthew perry. Whoever it is, its very cool.
    I dont give a rats ass about rdj's politics, or any other celeb/ star/ actor's.

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  141. @sherry

    I like you lady, and I hope that you are okay. I'm sure you were shitting yourself when you hit "return" on that post, but it happened for a reason. A lot of us on this site are former addicts, and please know you have a suport group if you need to talk. You are wonderful! You are beautiful!! And you were meant to live a FULFILLED life with purpose which you cannot do under the influence of drugs. You are better than that.

    It took 3 years for this message from NA to slap me across the face and I shall say it to you now: "One time is too many, and a thousand times is never enough". Reach out for help, and get away from the people in your life who are bad influences. You can do this xoxo

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  142. I have to say, I really hope this one doesn't get revealed. This person has chosen to do something wonderful with his life, and chosen to do it quietly, without advertising it to the world. "But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth." We should respect his wishes. God bless you whomever you are.

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  143. This is an incredible example of paying it forward.
    I think it's wonderful to do what we can. Whether its spending millions helping people at their lowest, or carrying someone's groceries up the stairs, we could all do with a little kindness in our lives!

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  144. @DueDiligence: well said about the link between recovery and the acceptance of personal responsibility. Agreed in your interpretation of RDJ's post-prison comment.

    As for the "Hollywood liberal" stereotype....it is somewhat of a myth based on fact. Artistic types overall tend on average to have more liberal philosophies, especially socially. Hollywood is also a town where unions are still strong ( but much much weaker than they were pre-GWB.) But the more $$ people make, the more they tend to want to hold onto it. So you will see many big time players with very liberal social politics but privately conservative when it comes to economic or defense issues.

    No one gets blackballed in Hollywood for being conservative. (Case in point: the 24 series and franchise.) News flash...A majority of the decision makers at our networks and studios are Republicans. These are businesspeople running multi-billon dollar corporations beholden to stock holders. They ARE the 1%. A "liberal agenda" is not a "Hollywood" convention, it is an artistic convention. Ideology is not the formula for projects getting green lit, Only MONEY is.

    What CAN get you blackballed in modern Hollywood is open intolerance. There is no room for anti-gay or anti-semitic sentiments, for example...because way too many of our creative leaders are one,the other or both. Sadly racism and sexism are somewhat more acceptable still...but usually not openly. Among true creatives, you will generally find some of the most accepting, open, tolerant people around. Likewise, people in recovery (True, lasting recovery, that is) are some of the most tolerant people around...regardless of how they vote.

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  145. Matthew Perry is not all movies all the time.

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  146. I immediately thought of Johnny Depp...but I like the RDJ answer, so I'll go with him.

    Whoever it is, what a great human being.

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  147. Anonymous1:42 AM

    Halle, Ron Paul said the guy needs to accept the consequences of his decisions. In Wolf's scenario, he clearly said the guy CHOSE not to pay for insurance. So that's the scenario Paul was commenting on. And with Johnson, he never said that the "employee" was a new employee. He wasn't talking about people who lose their jobs and then start new ones. You are changing the scenarios and then using their responses to completely different questions to try to portray them as saying something they didn't.

    Re: the "2 people" -- it was two people I heard in the audience at the debate, and then 2 people at the town hall meeting. I wouldn't call 4 out of hundreds of attendees at these events "widespread vitriol." And if you want to talk about vitriol, how about Nobel PEACE Prize laureate Betty Williams, who said in a speech that she "could kill George Bush, no problem?"

    I'm just saying, it comes from both sides. People like to throw around phrases like "morally repugnant" and "inhumane" when talking about Republicans, but anyone who thinks that Republicans are the only ones who badmouth others ate either willfully ignorant or so blinded by party loyalty that they can't accept reality.

    Re: the Harvard study -- the methodology in the research of that study has been criticized because of its inability to trace a causal agent to the figure it arrived at, and it later came to light that two of the authors have ties to the Physicians for a National Health Program advocacy group.

    Look, I don't deny that a lack of access to medical care increases your chances of dying. Of course it does. I just don't think that forcing every taxpayer in America to participate in a nationalized health care program -- which is what will ultimately happen, as private insurers will not be able to compete with it, will get even more expensive, and fewer businesses will choose to offer insurance in the long run -- is the way to go. We need to address the serious health care problems in this country ... I just don't think this plan is the way to do it.

    I am not going to argue with you all any more on politics with this post. You are all going to believe what you want to believe, and I am going to believe what I want to believe. But I am also not going to just shut up and accept it when I read blatently unfair accusations here.

    Sherry, I sincerely hope you get the help you need. Addiction of any kind is a horrible thing to live with, and those who are doing it need the support of everyone around them. I hope you are getting that support. If not, I strongly urge you to discuss your situation with your doctor, pastor (if you are a churchgoer), a family member or a trusted friend. Please remember, you are not alone. Millions of people are stuggling just like you. My best wishes and prayers go out to you. If you are interested, here is the URL for a list of rehab services in your area:
    http://www.drugrehabcenters.org/Belmont/California/Drug_Treatment_and_Alcohol_Rehab_Centers.htm?p=11

    It lists what services they each offer, what kinds of payments they take, etc. I hope this helps.

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  148. Almost all elected Republicans and Democrats are Big Government politicians – in all things – including health care. After this Supreme Court decision, they will get back to work expanding government involvement in all things – and you will pay for it.If you own rental property, you are first in line for the one of the many new "taxes" to support this.

    Please just think for yourself.It can be very amusing :)

    Sherry, I bet you feel better already? I am in SoFL if needed.

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  149. I didn't mean to make a political war, I personally just like those more who don't go with the flow.

    As for myself, neither party represents me. Reg'd Independent.

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  150. DueDilligence and Hendrix made great posts. In social work, we talk about the risk and resilience model, and how it's both personal AND environmental. We can't blame everything on the world around us, and we can't blame everything on ourselves, either. There IS that balance, and when more people realize that, the more likely they can make actual positive changes.

    Sherry, you have a lot of love and support here...add me to it! That's why I love this site, and why it's the ONLY gossip site I even read. Under the occasion snark, pretty much everyone here has a heart, and I LIKE that. :-)

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  151. I still think this is Mel Gibson. He helped and mentored RDJ, Heath Ledger, and Whitney Huston. I know he has his crazy, ugly side...but I think there is a good side to him, too. And he fits "all movies all the time." But Enty said this is an easy one. Oh, well...I guess that eliminates Mel.

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  152. @AKM

    Correct. And just to clarify my statement. I don't mean that the individual has to place all blame on themselves. If you have ever counseled someone who was abused as a child this is very clear. What I mean is that the individual HAS to take responsibility for what role they might have/might be playing in their difficulties AND for their own actions and attitudes which they are in control of.

    Even in the case of child abuse, you may never be able to MAKE the abuser take responsibility or pay for their actions. Triumph for the victim, therefore can NEVER be dependent on that happening.

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  153. This will be the 4th attempt to post. I want to thank everyone who took the time to give me a shoulder and a show of support. I'm scare to be sober. That's the toughest part. No the toughest part is admitting to being a junkie and apologizing to everyone I hurt by being so. I can't blame a bad childhood because I'm an adult and very far from being a kid (even though the childhood was spent with an abusive drunk mother). But I am responsible for every decision I make and poisoning myself every day is one of them. I am so filled with shame at the money I've spent and wasted. I really believe it's a sin to throw away food when there are so many people who go to bed hungry every night and that money could have been spent helping someone else. I am so very lucky. My life is good. I am surrounded by love, and your kind words show just how much. But I am paralyzed by fear.
    Texshan, thank you for the local support #'s. Now I need to get off my ass and take advantage of it. I'm afraid to admit my problem but I guess I tried it here. I just don't know how to confess my sins so this was the equivalent of the confessional (not even Catholic by the way).
    I guess the only Hail Mary should be coming from me, right?
    Sunny, how did you start? Did NA do the 12 step, praise God thing? I DO NOT want to hit bottom. I cannot embarass my husband. He's dealing with a mother who has dimentia. But I've lied to him for so long. Like I said, hiding in plain site. And yeah, I know he knows. I don't fool myself too much really.
    Anyway, thank you Agent**It, Yawn (I will email you), Susan B., Roxxx, Sunny (thank you, thank you), Robin, Jax, Due Diligence, WUWT, Astrogirl(thanks for thining I'm intelligent-who's the drunk here? Just kidding!)and AKM. Your words mean so much to me. I really appreciate it.

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  154. @Sherry

    First of all, I'm so happy to read that your husband isn't a user. I was really worried for you that he was, since I was able to "flee the scene" (my partners in crime were my roommates for the most part)

    Secondly - I gave my e-mail address to @yawnathon to pass along to you. Please contact her so we can talk in more detail

    While I did attend NA one time to support a friend (while I was using - oh the denial I was in), it took a few years for that one thing I said to you to sink in. I was at my house, waiting for my roommate to get in the shower so I could go through her purse to see if she had a secret stash. I just remember sitting down on the edge of my bathtub wondering how I had sunk so low, and then this voice in my head "One time is too many, and a thousand times is never enough". I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. When you want to quit, you think "Ok, this is the last time I'm going to do a bump and then I'm done". But with an addiction there will always be that next time so you just have to end it right there.

    I don't know what kind of drugs you use so I can only speak from my experience. I remember being VERY emotional the week I was coming down, but you may need medical supervision if you are using harsher drugs.

    Lastly (for now!) I knew I did not have the willpower to stay where I was, so I called my parents and said I needed to get the hell outta dodge and move in with them for a few months. Best decision I ever made, and of course I came clean with them.

    You do not have to hit bottom. You need to make the decision that you want to live your life in a present state. You need to love yourself and realize you are too amazing to be poisoning yourself. You can do this.

    Email me!! xoxo

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  155. @Sherry

    And I've shared this before, but I do still drink a glass of wine most nights after my kids go to bed. I am not the 100% abstinence role model, so please just accept my encouragement and support as one person's perspective. I did quit drinking for a period of time after I gave up drugs, because I didn't want to weaken my resolve. I just wanted to make sure you had the whole story :)

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  156. Anonymous5:46 PM

    Vicki, you can do it! If you're admitting it here, then you know that you're "outing" yourself in a way and ready to move forward. You're a bright, kind, together woman, with a man that loves you. Of course he knows. You can make your own path in this life. I was addicted to opiates off the street (not from a doc), (never much of a drinker), and went through a month of intense detox at a friends house a couple of years ago. I live the principles of the twelve steps as much as possible, having worked the twelve steps in the past, but I don't go to meetings. I'm in a completely different place in my life now. I still smoke herb which many would say is terrible or replacing one thing with another, but I'm happy and I feel I could never go back to that lifestyle. It was a dark time and a bad relationship, and I've moved on. I guess what I'm saying is that you can write your own ticket in this life and there isn't only one way as many in recovery will say.

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  157. Anonymous5:47 PM

    Oh yes and definitely the beloved beautiful kind and sensitive RDJ.

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  158. Thanks. Sunny and Carmelite. Thank u so very much.

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  159. First off this person is doing something amazing. I wish we knew where so that people in need could apply for a grant etc but that is all.
    In California (yes I am generalizing) republican is a bad word. I come from DC and love playing devils advocate. In California people get angry at me and accuse me of being everything from a facist to a sheep. Luckily I find it funny.
    I am a registered independent because neither party, at this point, is true to it's original, let's say, "mission statement". I vote for a person, NOT a party. Even if I have to vote for the lesser of two evils, or write in, I retain my right to bitch because I vote. :)
    I LOVE me some RDJ but I doubt he visits this site. I dunno who this is and I dont want to. Keep it up. If I had money to spare I would give and start a nonprofit to teach kids about money and politics, the real info, not the crap we are half fed in school.

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  160. @Sherry

    I don't know how to do the clicky link (hee hee) but please cut and paste these bad boys. I pre-screened some help info that would've spoken to me without being too overwhelming. I'm so sorry about your mother-in-law. My Grandma had dementia it is horrible for everybody, but this can't be the thing that stands in the way of your recovery. Your husband wants what's best for you, and we need to rip this band-aid off. Much love and hugs to you xoxoxoxo
    *sidenote. I refrained from including my Dr. Phil link. You're welcome. And don't dismiss the wiki how link for its simplicity - I agree with everything in there. Read all the way through*

    http://www.freeaddictionhelpline.com/?gclid=CLi0-Juw97ACFcpeTAodpCe4-w

    http://www.helpguide.org/mental/drug_abuse_addiction_rehab_treatment.htm

    http://www.wikihow.com/Beat-Drug-Addiction

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  161. i also think it's RDJ, but i am also thinking maybe Keanu Reeves. I don't know if it fits though.

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  162. Late to post, but Sherry, if you're getting links to new posts, this is for you.

    I've been where you are and came back from it. There are several, probably countless, ways to reach sobriety; some have a higher percentage of success than others. You need to find the way that works for you.

    After i admitted that i needed help, i attended AA meetings w/friends. I got a lot of support, ideas, concepts and knowledge from AA, but i'm sort of allergic to group things so i never attended meetings regularly. I go if i feel that i need to go.

    This is just to say that there are different ways/paths to sobriety; the hard part is to stay on the right one for you. And truly sometimes you have to do it one second at a time as you breath in and out and concentrate on nothing.

    If you think i can be of any help to you, please contact me.

    Peace.

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  163. Anonymous8:52 PM

    well it's nice that someone does something without a photo-op and media coverage.. like John Hamm and his wife - they also do incredible charity work without it being for show. Then there is Angelina who won't do ANYTHING without media coverage. Makes you wonder about her motives.

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