Dana Jacobson worked at ESPN for close to a decade. I was sad to see her go in April, but it seems like at ESPN, if you are a woman and turn 40, then it is see ya. Her contract was not renewed when it expired. Last night Dana wrote on her blog about how when she was a child she was molested by a teenage babysitter that her parenst and other parents all trusted and all used to babysit their children.
"Like the young men who bravely took the stand in the Sandusky trial, I was molested as a child. That's still not easy for me to say, let alone write and share publicly, but if we've all learned anything from the Sandusky scandal, it's that the time for silence is over. As I heard one Sandusky victim put it, it's time to 'find my voice.' I remember faking a stomach ache to try to keep my parents from going out when I knew my abuser was coming to babysit, but my silent cry was the same tactic I used when another sitter was scheduled and I just wanted my parents to stay. How would they know the difference? I truly believe no one could have stopped the abuse unless I had told someone."
You know, when someone like Dana speaks or as others have because of the Sandusky trial, it makes everything just a little easier for other victims to come forward or to speak out when something can be done to save other potential victims. Despite the number of cases you hear about people being molested, the numbers who report it are so low and it allows a-holes like Sandusky the opportunity to keep acting without any fear of getting caught until they have messed up the lives of their victims and then the cycle continues for the victims with their relationships and how it affects those people and just keeps spreading.
Molesters should be castrated. Period.
ReplyDeletehas there ever been anyone in the media (who didn't need publicity) that wasn't molested?
ReplyDeleteYeah, and the penis always has distinctive markings on it, or it leans left or something. Never a regular dick. Whats that about?
DeleteAnd why is the message sent to adults? This needs to be delivered to kids so they know what is right and what is wrong and give them strength. How can that be delivered?
ReplyDeleteHopefully, this will encourage adults to let their children know they can tell them anything. I just learned today that a little boy on my son's baseball team walked in on his little sister being molested by a neighbor. Thankfully, he told his parents and saved her, but now the entire family is in counseling and the poor kids are ruined. They aren't even finishing the baseball season. These monsters take away our children's youth and like they say "a piece of their soul."
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I need to talk to my children about this, but I am fairly confident that if anyone tries anything with them, they won't hesitate to come directly to me, as they know that they can tell me ANYTHING. And we've discussed how molesters try to trick their victims into believing they will get in trouble, or they will hurt their parents, or it's their little secret, etc... My kids are up on all the tricks and know that there is NEVER an excuse for an adult to touch a child inappropriately EVER.
People have always been really nasty toward her (ESPN viewers). She's not a cookie cutter Erin Andrews type. I always felt bad for her.
ReplyDelete@The Dude
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm taking your point the wrong way, but there a MILLION other ways to get publicity other then revealing a painful and traumatic memory that probably still affects her today (trusting people, trying to have a normal healthy relationship etc)
I think the comments made here today are that if we take the shame and stigma away from victims who have been sexually assualted (whether as a young child or as an adult) then more cases will be reported and these assholes can be taken off the street where they can't hurt others.
I was the victim of something far less traumatic (I had a video camera stuck up my dress at work) and after the guy was apprehended, I was too embarrassed to testify at the hearing despite being called my the prosecution lawyers on a daily basis. Turned out that this guy was a serial rapist, but that's a whole other story.
Anyway, the last point I want to make to parents out there: Talk to your children while they are young about what is and is not okay (No one being able to touch you under the areas covered by their bathing suits, or whatever language they will comprehend). Also, talk to them about never having secrets with other adults. If an adult tells them that something is a secret, to report back to you. This of course entails you talking to Grandma/Grandpa, Uncles, Cousins etc to not use the word "secret" if they give your kid candy etc. Say they are giving them a treat.
Anyway, sorry for the long post but my heart breaks for kids that have had their youth stolen from them. One of my best friends was molested by her grandfather as a child, and she despises sex to this day. It really affected her being able to have a loving realtionship well into her 30's :(
And @FSP
ReplyDeleteI'm down with the castration :)
You have to start the dialog with your kids right from the get-go - as these topics come up, you HAVE to talk about them, even if it's uncomfortable. Trust me, there is an opportunity with every little one to talk about body parts, what's private, what ok touching and not ok touching are - those types of curiosities are a very normal part of development.
ReplyDeleteIf there is never any shame associated with certain body parts and functions, if these situations are approached in a matter of fact manner, then the dialog will remain open as kids age.
I also think victim-shaming, experienced by so many and the reason why so many kids never "tell", has roots in the authoritarian attitude towards children that has always been so prevalent in our society. Nurturing a relationship of mutual respect is the key.
I could go on, but I'll stop :-). Check out the Great Expectations model of school management for more info about creating an environment of mutual respect.
Was this babysitter a female,I wonder just like Vanessa Williams,I wonder.
ReplyDeleteFemale molesters CAN'T be castrated.
ReplyDeleteWhile I think it is a good thing to talk to your children about such things, it doesn't deal with the main problem. Most child sexual assaults are by the parents. And other relatives. That is the issue. Not only did Sandusky rape these other kids(and I am sure hundreds of others), he raped his own son. Which is probably why he adopted him in the first place. Easier to grow your own victims.
ReplyDeleteAs for ESPN dumping female on air staff at 40, sounds about right. Except Hannah Storm. She is 50, I think. A very,very nice 50.
People have always been really nasty toward her (ESPN viewers). She's not a cookie cutter Erin Andrews type. I always felt bad for her.
ReplyDelete10:40 AM
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Dana had rep for being an asshole when drunk. She was suspended from ESPN briefly for acting a fool at some roast for Mike and Mike.
@Sean - excellent point.
ReplyDeleteI once read Tom Arnold's autobiography. He said that in Hollywood, something like 95% of the industry are actually survivors of child sexual abuse. I am hoping he was exaggerating, but he was not trying to be comical while stating that. He was serious about it. Of course, he himself is a survivor of child sexual abuse and so was his wife (Roseanne).
ReplyDeleteI agree with Enty though. Every time one of us has the courage to break our secret, it gets a little easier for the next person to break theirs. Since child sex abuse happens in secret, perhaps eventually all these broken secrets will prevent future cases. That is my hope.
-Butterfly
Www.reasonsyoushouldntfuckkids.wordpress.com
castration won't help as it's in their heads.
ReplyDeletemy take, rape a child once, and you're in the pen for life. and not segregated, but gen pop.
"has there ever been anyone in the media (who didn't need publicity) that wasn't molested?"
ReplyDeleteSpoken by someone who is unaware of just how common childhood sexual abuse is.
http://www.cpiu.us/statistics-2/
ReplyDeleteThe vast majority of pedocriminals are male.