I know this is the weekend and that you are trying to relax and don't need much stress or drama in your life, but we need to talk. We really need to fix this once and for all. Dina Lohan on our television screens can't be allowed. So, you have to promise that after the first episode of whatever show she is on you will never watch it again. It is ok to watch the first episode because that way you can say you honestly saw it. Do you want Dina Lohan to have more fame? More camera time? Do you want to see her on the cover of tabloids when you are buying groceries for your family? Do you want to see her when you wake up in the morning and turn on your morning news show? I don't think so. Oh, and for those of you outside the US, this includes you. They show Kardashian shows all over the world. Do you want Dina Lohan to spread to your country too?
Dina is working on a show where she mentors Broadway hopefuls. Claiming to being a Rockette for five minutes gives you the qualifications to judge Broadway hopefuls because......????? Is there a big demand for a show like this? What does the winner get? A lifetime contract with Dina Lohan? Free tanner? Something from the Stolen Collection by Lindsay Lohan.
There is also the VH-1 ex-wives thing. I'm hoping she will get booted out of there for people who are way more interesting. She is not even the ex of someone that famous.
The final thing? Dina is trying to get on Millionaire Matchmaker. I know, I know, all men at the mixer should run as fast as they can, but Patti Stanger is going to lock the doors so the men can't get out. Sure, some of them will try to jump through the windows, but it's tough to get by the steel bars. before any of them leave, Dina gets to choose one victim. he will suffer the worst fate known to mankind. Yes, even worse than tonguing Verne Troyer. He will go on a date with Dina Lohan and it will be televised and recorded and avail;able for all to see until the day he dies. He will probably move and become a monk somewhere.
So, please make sure if you see any of these shows, do not watch them. Tell your friends to not watch them. Shame people at the water cooler at your office or on the street if you hear someone talking about them. Threaten to take your child out of school if any teachers watch them. These people are educating the kids of the world. You don't want them infected and then spreading the bug. The next thing you know they will be telling you that Bret Michaels only ever had sex with one woman a season on Rock Of Love.
