Dating Profile For The Ages
You know, I love dating profiles and a reader found this charmer who said he would love to go out with her. Read it for yourself and you decide if you would date him. I put the ** in his f bombs and other musings so don't feel like he censored himself, because he didn't. I will give him credit for liking Fraggle Rock.
My self-summary
You dont need to know s**t about be. I would rather you be thinking I Just came home from robbin banks, killin people and stealing cars. I would rather you think that i was in a high speed chase that resulted in a fiery crash wherein I had to extinguish myself in a public fountain. You don't want to know that i just came from my grandma's Poolside BBQ and added too much lighter fluid to the charcoal. That's just not sexy.
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What I’m doing with my life
See above. You dont need to know that s**t. Maybe I'm a hitman for the Irish mob or the yakuza. That's hot right? You know whats not hot, a guy who works at El Pollo Loco. That is a huge turn off, believe you me, you're probably already turned off just at the thought. If you are, why don't you check out my special skillz in the next paragraph. Maybe then I may regain your interest.
I’m really good at
F**kin
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The first things people usually notice about me
Nothing, I'm a Ninja! people don't notice shit about me, I'm lurking in the shadows. Ready to strike. My weapon, you guessed it...A Rianbow Bright night light and a pack of cigaretts.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fraggle Rock Motha F**kers. WHAT UP!
The six things I could never do without
Dat Pink, Dem Booty, Does T*tTAs! Yo Legs, Yo Lips, & da Way you Move those Hips. Also my nighttime nasal Snoring Strips...I do that s**t for you girl!
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I spend a lot of time thinking about
Microbiology.
On a typical Friday night I am
Stealing cars and getting into fiery crashes, buyin Bottles at da club. Getting my Freak on with some fine yung thing. Or I be out partaking on my ninja skillz.
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The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I love that teddy bear from the Snuggle Fabric Softener commercials. I just want to hug that s**t.
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I’m looking for
•Girls who like guys
•Ages 18–80
•Located anywhere
•Who are single
• For new friends
You should message me if
Don't message me. I don't need no ugly ass bitchez up in my s**t. I'll message you, that way you know I be thinking you fine. UNLESS U KNOW U IS FINE, then feel free to message me. ALSO don't ask for my pictures, I'm tired of girls dating me for my looks and money. You should get to know me first before you judge me on my looks plz.
LETS MAKE OUT!
