This one was sent into me by a reader who had never communicated with this person prior to getting this message. The video game part at the end refers to the fact that the reader does not want to date a man who plays video games for longer than two hours a day. Does anyone?
"Hi, i was reading your questions that you answered from the site and saw this question and just wanted to let you know your answer kinda doesn't make any sense.
QUESTION = For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy?
You quoted = "No For me personally I would not be able to do this. I have my reasons but I am definitely pro choice and believe that a woman has a right to choose. "
im kinda lost....if your "pro choice---defined as the sociopolitical movement supporting the ethical view that a woman should have the legal right to elective abortion, meaning the right to terminate her pregnancy."
you would answer YES to that question.....i think you meant that your Prolife not prochoice, because it sounds like if you were accidentally pregnant you don't believe in getting a abortion that would make you prochoice.
so like if abortion isnt a option (she cant have abortion)...that means your not giving the woman a choice..... if she wants to keep it or not.
your question has confused the crap out of me. all i understand is if someone has sex with you and u get pregnant your going to keep it no matter what even if he didn't want to bring a kid into this world.
all info above from:
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Support_for_the_legalization_of_abortion)
maybe i'm reading it wrong i dunno. just thought you would like to know.
you seem like a nice girl but after reading this question and the one about you not wanting to date someone based off if he plays video games kinda turned me off from wanting to get to know you. Not trying to upset you with anything I've said so far. I wish you luck on this site. Hope you have had a better time with it then i have. Ciao."
I've given up on dating sites. Especially after the last guy who sent me a picture of his penis after texting me for less than an hour.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be single than desperate.
I have no idea why this dude is single. None.
ReplyDeleteEven I wouldn't date this schmuck.
ReplyDeleteAssclown
ReplyDeleteUmm, OK. I don't think it's such a big loss that you "turned him off," reader. The guy doesn't even know the difference between "you're" and "your."
ReplyDeleteI think I understood what you were saying. Basically, your position is that while you would not personally have an abortion, you don't wish to have that option taken away from everyone, right? I don't understand why he finds that so confusing. Unless he is just stupid. Or wants to start an argument.
wtf is wrong with people?
ReplyDeleteAn idiot? On the Internet?? This HAS to be fake.
ReplyDeleteI'd have written back and told him that "I'm not trying to upset you, but you're an idiot for not understanding that pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion. It means that while I would CHOOSE to have the baby, I would not take away another woman's right to CHOOSE to have an abortion. Maybe you aren't having a better time with this dating site because of your low IQ."
ReplyDeleteApparently this doofus is one of those "all or nothing" people--if you wouldn't want to have an abortion, clearly you should feel that nobody else should have one either, or vice versa. I'm also reading this as "OMG, if she got pregnant, she'd trap me into being with her forever NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" This particular loser probably assumes that all women want to "trap" him somehow because he's just so, you know...but he's smarter than they are, aha!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I can't imagine why he's still single, either...SMH And people wonder why I don't do dating sites...
Oh lord. Where to even begin with this guy? I don't want to turn my post into a political rant but it's already too late. No, doofus, prochoice means PRO- CHOICE it's a woman's choice (not the government) as to how she deals with her pregnancy. That's it. Done.
ReplyDeleteI hope the reader corrects him on this - I just can't help it. ARG!!!
I was thinking about online dating but after reading this I think I will skip it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought I was awkward. But nothing says "marry me" like the guarantee of an awkward argument over drinks on the first date. Now's your chance ladies!
ReplyDeleteWhen a guy uses the word "ciao," you know he's a douche. Unless he is actually Italian. An Italian from Italy, not Jersey.
ReplyDeleteWhat is so difficult to understand about being pro-choice? Just because you wouldn't personally choose to have an abortion doesn't mean you want to take the right to choose away from other women. I too am pro-choice but unless it was under very extreme circumstances, I would not get an abortion myself. But some of my friends and family have, and I believe that was the right choice for them.
ReplyDeleteUGH. I hate hate hate it when people say "Ciao"
ReplyDeleteMmmm, ignorance. So attractive!
ReplyDeleteI bet this guy has at least one tattoo with a misspelling in it.
ReplyDeleteI actually just went on a Match date yesterday. I'm against online dating and thought the guy for me wouldn't be online, because he was in such high demand, he wouldn't need to be online. Not true. I'm ridiculously picky. My first online date, and I'm in love. Not only is he gorgeous, but a gentleman and sweet as can be. We had so much in common...and he's normal. We have a 2nd date this week.
ReplyDeleteI think her answer on abortion is spot on and reflects my viewpoint: No for me *probably* but the right to choose should be available. I'm grateful I never had to make that kind of decision. Birth control, even calendar to some extent, works well.
ReplyDeleteOh My!!!! This is awesome!!!! Thank you for giving me a good hearty laugh for the day!
ReplyDeleteWhy did the guy even comment? That's what annoys me more. Couldn't he just have ignored it like I ignore the Real Housewives posts? To me, that's why he's a dick.
ReplyDeleteMy husband plays video games a lot, I'm cool with it. Keeps him occupied, I can do my own things, etc.
Love it @Bally.
ReplyDeleteFinally, one that I didn't send to Enty! Though he'll probably contact me next knowing my luck. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I met my spouse and the most amazing man on a dating site. Helps to be very specific about what you're looking for. Worked out very well for us so far, 7+ yrs.
ReplyDeleteOoh...Keep us posted Crila!
ReplyDeleteThere was a guy on one of those matchmaker shows who said he would not date anyone who was pro-life. What he was saying and what this guys seems to be saying is that, no, they will not use a condom and yes, they do want you to get an abortion if you get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteGood luck crila16!
First contact should *never* include a Wikipedia reference.
ReplyDeleteFor those who are afraid of online dating, it worked well for me. I had to go through a lot of bad dates, but you get those in dating period, whether you meet them online or elsewhere. There are some good guys online. The turkeys like this guy -- well, they make fun stories to share with the gals or on a gossip blog. They are also great for blowing off steam -- you can laugh at some bad profiles, and send responses to the jerks without being polite about it :)
Good luck on your 2nd date, crila!
ReplyDeletere: Ciao
ReplyDeleteWhen my friend was in his late teens, he and his brother used to torment each other with practical jokes. My friend had a piece of doo brown beater car, and his younger brother convinced their mother to get vanity plates saying "Ciao Babe". This still makes me laugh all these years later
I don't know what I'd do if I had to start dating again. Everything has changed! Crila good luck and be careful.
ReplyDeleteIt seems there are two camps with online dating. One camp has luck with it and the other no luck. I fell in the "no luck" category, but my hubs is a computerphobe and stays away from the Internet. I would NEVER have met him there.
ReplyDeleteI did online dating extensively from 34 to 39 with ONE good date out of them all. I ended up with stalkers, mama's boys, S&M rejects, and some VERY scary men.
I followed all the "rules" of online dating too. It's not really "dating," but actually meeting people. I think it was great fodder for my writing, and I did learn a lot.
The advice I give to people looking for love is basic, but true: Do what you love! I met my hubs going to school, which I love. He loves it too. Most people really do not know what moves them or what they are excited about. Figure that out and love will follow.
If online dating gives you migraines, as it did me, then go to meet-ups. The meet-up groups are great! You can meet people in the flesh.
I'm happy very all those who did find love online.
Sunny, that's pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteI have no issue with people doing the online dating thing. Just be careful. In my best friend's case, she met 2 out of her 3 husbands online. It does work for some people.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I don't care about meeting anyone. Honestly, the thought of having to make any kind of an effort to meet someone is exhausting to me. The only time I care about having an SO is during national holidays and weddings. Otherwise, I cannot be bothered.
I would file this under.. Among The Top Worst of Enty Posts:)
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with online dating.
ReplyDeleteI met half a dozen girlfriends that way including my wife, and we've been happily together now eleven years.
Like most things in life, it's a tool that can be used both for good and evil.
@Crila
ReplyDeleteGood luck and keep us updated!
I tried online dating back in 2000. I met some interesting guys. Actually, the only weirdo out of the bunch was one whose family I knew.
ReplyDeleteAfter talking for a bit via email, we realized that I worked with his aunt. I think that "familiarity" made me ignore some of the mental warning bells that said this guy was a douchebag. The first and only date we had involved me meeting him with him at his house (yes, another online dating no-no that wouldn't have happened without that familiarity) and him attempting to get me into bed.
After that, I tended to stay away from dating sites. Most of the guys I met were people I originally knew online, but I had met them through websites where I was active (such as a technical support website for MSN groups or an IRC channel for music filesharers, err, lovers).
In my lifetime, I've had two really great guys who I let get away. One of them was from that MSN group, and I kick myself nearly every time I think about it.
I met my husband on an on-line dating service. We've been married 7 years. My stepdaughter met her husband on a dating site. They've been married 4 years and have a 1 year old son. If you're careful, and don't expect too much, it can work.
ReplyDeleteAs for this abortion letter, why on earth would you put your feelings (either way) about abortion on your dating ad? I can't imagine discussing that with a guy I didn't know via e-mail.
Btw, I met my husband online, too, in that IRC room for music lovers. I can't say he's the happily ever after I needed, but he is just like every other guy I've been in a long-term relationship with, whether I met them in person or online. Just sayin'.
ReplyDelete@SusanB - some websites ask you to give answers to some controversial questions. It's not a bad idea, IMHO -- it is more meaningful than questions like "ice cream or cake", which really tell you nothing at all about the person whose profile you are reading.
ReplyDelete@Henriette
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting that advice. I remember when I broke up with a long term boyfriend, I felt like my only option would have been online dating (which scared the bejeebus out of me). I wish every single person would take your advice: to do what you love, and you will find people that you like spending time with. You know what that can turn into?
My friend is going through a divorce, and she wound up going back to her love of beach volleyball and using meet up to join a bowling team at one of the hipper bowling alleys. Guess what?
clearly lacking basic reading comprehension skills - moron!
ReplyDeleteI'm almost 40 and have never been married. Occasionally I'll hop onto match or something but most of what I find just isn't 'me.' but after reading this today, I just hopped back on and 'winked' at a few people so we'll see.
ReplyDeleteI work a TON of hours and don't really agree with 'dipping the pen in the company ink' FOR ME, so it makes it hard to meet new people.
I like to drink as much as the next girl but most of the time if I've met someone in the bar, that becomes the entire basis of the relationship.
I'm fine being single but weddings, holidays and sometimes the weekend with nothing planned, it sure would be nice to have someone around.
@amh.producer
ReplyDeleteSeriously, go on meetup.com. They have a group for any interest you can think of, or you can start your own group. You will be proud of yourself for going outside your comfort zone and I am sure you will make some great pals regardless if there is a love connection. And maybe one of THOSE friends will have a brother, cousin, brother-in-law etc.
OK Cupid asks questions like this. I remember doing a 100 questions questionnaire for them.
ReplyDeleteI DO need to do more meet ups. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDidn't do online online dating, but computers and the internet played a role in my (now 18+ years) marriage: WAY back in 1992, I had just learned to use email and a UNIX system (?). On those now-ancient systems, you could look someone up if you had a notion of their address and domain ("find doe@university.edu"). I found my friend who never wanted to date me despite my interest (he was a comp sci major), and my finding re-connected us and we were engaged in less than six months. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you guys!!!
ReplyDeleteHe just emailed me to make sure we're still on for this week and thanked me for a great date yesterday. He's so nice. Will definitely keep you all posted.
yay crila16!
ReplyDelete@Skittlekitty
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your story!!! My husband did the same thing you did (but through classmates.com). We've been together 7 years and have 2 beautiful bambinos. Thank God for the internet :)
@amh.producer
ReplyDeleteMeet-ups are so much fun! I've met some of my closest friends that way. I still go to them.
I don't know if you are into yoga, but my tantra yoga meet-ups are BRIMMING with men. It's four guys for each girl. Most of the women are attached and the men are single. Ditto for my Zen Buddhist meditation classes. Zen really brings out the guys.
Clearly he lacks reading comprehension as well as English skills. Sometimes the herd thins itself.
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was "this guy is mildly autistic".
ReplyDeleteI met my husband online too, but it was just a chat room, not a dating site. Remember the early 2000's when people still chatted online? *L* We were actually talking about this the other day and have decided that if we had met in person first and dated like normal people, we probably wouldn't have ended up together. We are also going to sign up on a dating site and see if we're matched with each other. We don't think we will be *L*.
Does anyone remember chatting on AOL with dial-up? Fun times!
ReplyDeletehahaha Henriette, I used ICQ but yes! I also met my husband, on a dating site. Excite personals.
ReplyDeleteThis guy sounds like he has Aspergers
EXACTLY, RJ, well said!
ReplyDeleteOH DEAR JESUS, WHEN WILL PEOPLE LEARN?
ReplyDeleteYour =/= You're
>.< GRRRRR!
love these posts were we 'out' idiots from dating sites :D
ReplyDeletein this case, contrary to other very interesting examples of homo neanderthals circulating in the web, I kind of understand that the guy's confused, though maybe not the way he expresses it. Abortion(not-abortion) is a sensitive topic for guys because they feel powerless
@Henriette
ReplyDeleteAwesome!! ive always wanted to try Tantra!! :D now its a must!!
I don't get how people consistently fail to understand that a person can feel very strongly about something personally, but not insist that the world turn to their own beliefs.
ReplyDeleteBack in the day: Stores can't be open on Sundays! I don't believe in shopping on Sundays. (Then don't, and let others be guided by their own conscience.)
Currently: Gay people shouldn't get married! I don't believe it's right. (Ok, so? Maybe I don't believe in divorce/remarriage. Let's make that the law too! Right?)
My town: The 10 Commandment monument NEEDS to stay up at the courthouse! Removing them is abandoning our Christian foundation! (Um, put them up in your own front yard. Wear them on your shirt or a bumpersticker. LIVE THEM OUT IN YOUR LIFE. But why insist the goverment display them when you KNOW you would be horrified to see another faith's tenets erected in stone on government ground?)
(And I'm a Christian. But I don't expect the world to live by MY beliefs. Only that I will.)
So this guy is also unable to distinguish between personally knowing you would never have an abortion but NOT withholding that option from others. There's no contradiction in what she says (we all know); he just can't see how someone can feel one way and not apply that belief across the board for everyone. Why is that SO HARD a concept to grasp?
I internet dated in the late 90's. It was a whole different animal. I met only one good guy, the rest were weirdos. I was a Yahoo/AOL chatter BITD.
ReplyDeleteI second the Meetup.com suggestion. I am not looking to take on a lover, but missed having more girlfriends since most of mine have little ones. I have met some great girls thought this.
I want to know if the person who sent this in responded back or if they just ignored the moron? Probably safer to do the second.
What an ignorant turd.
ReplyDelete