Thursday, June 28, 2012

Amber Heard Splits With Girlfriend


Isn't that convenient? Amber Heard and her girlfriend have split. I think we all saw that one coming. How would you like to be Amber Heard's girlfriend and read everyday about how your girlfriend is out having sex with Johnny Depp and spending every available second in New Mexico with him. That has to suck. I feel sorry for Tasya van Ree and still think she has an incredibly cool name and apparently this week she was already spotted getting lots of attention from other women. My one piece of advice to her is to not take Amber back. The thing with Johnny Depp is not going to work out and then Amber will be calling Tasya and Tasya needs to stay strong. Don't talk to Amber when you are drunk. Bad things happen when you talk to exes drunk. The next thing you know five years have passed by in some kind of haze and then you remember why you broke up in the first place.

56 comments:

  1. Somebody call me back when Johnny's mid life crises is over.

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  2. Enty, love the last sentences :

    "Bad things happen when you talk to exes drunk. The next thing you know five years have passed by in some kind of haze and then you remember why you broke up in the first place."

    Sage advice.

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  3. Was a fan of JD, now just getting tired of hearing about him.

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  4. I used to have a huge crush on JD, but he looks so skanky all the time and I always hear about how grody he smells. Oh, and now it turns out he's kind of a jerkoff.

    My list dwindles...

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  5. Tasya bears more than a passing resemblance to Johnny Depp. Must be her type.

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  6. Completely OT -

    I wanted to let you all know how glad I am that you're all here from day to day. Things have been really crappy lately and when I was stuck at home all week last week recovering from a miscarriage, it was nice knowing that I could come to this site and be guaranteed some serious laughs (anita_mark and vicki cupper, i'm looking at you!). So, for just existing, I thank you all.

    Now, back to our regularly scheduled snark...

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  7. @discoflux, I'm so sorry to hear that and hope you're doing ok. *hugs*

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  8. @discoflux - I'm so sorry to hear about that :( My friend kept miscarrying, and I told her that she was just becoming a well-seasoned cast iron skillet to make the perfect dish. She now has two adorable little boys.

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  9. Awww, disco, I'm so sorry. I'm glad I could make you laugh.


    *sniff* Man, it got dusty in the office all of a sudden. *sniff*

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  10. @discoflux, I'm sorry for your loss. Hope you are doing OK. I come hear for Vicki's laughs as well.

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  11. @disco
    I'm so sorry for your loss! Sending good thoughts to you.

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  12. Hi Disco, I'm so sorry - glad you can come here for some sunshine. :)

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  13. @disco..so sorry for your loss! sending good vibes your way!

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  14. @disco - so so sorry to hear about your loss. Take it slow and allow yourself time to heal. Celeb gossip will help you recover up to 50% quicker - it's just science!

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  15. @discoflux
    that is really sad news :(
    a big BIG hug disco!!
    best wishes for the future!

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  16. @disco - so glad your cdan family can help. Hang in there! I love the cast iron skillet thought -- you're just getting ready for something great. I love this site. Sniff

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  17. @disco - I'm so sorry to hear this, and hope you're on the mend soon. I know things will work out for you.

    (I'm living proof of that - my mother had me after five miscarriages)

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  18. Thank you all so much! How lucky was I to wander into such a fabulous group of people? I'm doing much better than I was two weeks ago. Still having those random weepy bitch moments, though. Thankfully I have a wonderful man who has taken spectacular care of me so the recovery process has gone as smoothly as it's possible for it to go.

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  19. @Discoflux - so sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you.

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  20. Disco...
    I am deeply sorry for your loss.
    Unfortunately I understand all too well how you've been feeling both physically and emotionally.
    Glad to hear you have a solid support system and that all the wonderful craziness here is giving you some solace.
    *HUGS*

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  21. @Discoflux, this site got me through some very tough stuff last summer. I know what you mean! I'm sending you happy, healthy thoughts. My best to you and your hubs.

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  22. Is it weird that Tasya kind of looks like Johnny Depp in that Lone Ranger movie?

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  23. @Disco: I'm really, truly sorry for your loss. This happened to my sister recently and we all felt helpless while she was going through the emotions of her loss. I'm glad your husband is being such a great support. Rest, take care of yourself, and I know there will be brighter days in your future.

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  24. Anonymous8:10 AM

    @Disco, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I've had two miscarriages and know there is really nothing I can say to take the pain away. Just know that when you do have children you will cherish them even more. If you ever need to talk let me know.

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  25. Anonymous8:23 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  26. Disco, I am so sorry for your loss!! I know what you mean - I was a long time lurker before I started commenting, and I realized that this is the type of group I'd want to be a part of! I'm so glad it is helping you, and I totally agree that certain posters ALWAYS get a giggle from me!

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  27. @disco - so sorry to hear that! My mom miscarried when i was younger. Sometimes I think about the little brother I might've had. If I can give any advice it's to take time to grieve. My mom never really did and she's been deeply affected by it I think. So please take care of yourself!!

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  28. Big hugs Disco. Our 3rd IVF attempt ended in a loss 8 weeks ago. Be kind to yourself. Let others be kind to you as well. As Charlotte said to Wilbur, "Chin up."

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  29. @disco - so sorry for your loss. Healing takes time, but laughter definitely helps it along.

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  30. Her girlfriend/ex-girlfriend does look a lot like Johnny. Did she dress like that to compete with him?

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  31. Much love and prayers to you @Disco :)

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  32. Aww Jenni I'm sorry :(

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  33. Disco, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had three and know how painful it is. Keep trying, as everyone is saying, it can still happen for you. Wishing you the very best, take care!

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  34. Taysa shouldn't feel bad about this, no one can compete with JD.

    I still love him even though he looks, um, not so great.

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  35. You're all making my eyes leak! I completely love you all right now.

    Thank you so much and I'm so, so, so sorry for everyone else that's been through this. Thank you all again for simply even existing.

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  36. Discoflux and all the CDaN ladies who've suffered this heartbreak, much love and big hugs. You are in my thoughts.

    On with the snark - Tasya and Depp really do bear strong similarities to one another. Except Tasya wears less make up (and looks better for it).

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  37. Whoa, that chick is like Johhny as a woman, even the styling. I guess Amber has a type?

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  38. Also, s that a painting of Justin Bieber in a cowboy hat behind the ex-girlfriend's shoulder?

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  39. Hugs to Discoflux & Jenni and anyone else that has gone through this!

    As for this Amber, Johnny, gf situation-I dont think the gf will have trouble moving on, she does resemble a female Johnny. Disppointed in Johnny for leaving Vanessa, I really liked them together.

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  40. @Disco - so sorry for your loss; I agree that laughter definitely helps! There are some seriously funny posters on CDAN. I would have a sad if this all ever went away.

    Tasya is also definitely giving me a female JD vibe. Looks like Amber can have her cake and eat it too.

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  41. Sarah, I think that's the Gerber baby. It's easy to get them confused.

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  42. Oh, Elizabeth and Disco and Jenni, hugs to you. My mom had a miscarriage in between each of her 4 kids and she said each one was very hard. Keep coming to the site for meaningless trivia which is so so so fun.

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  43. Oh, ladies!!! I'm so sorry! I'm sending good vibes your way...

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  44. Hugs to all of you who had mc's. I had one only a week into the pg. It's devastating at any stage.

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  45. Welcome to dumpsville. Population: tasya van ree

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  46. *hugs* to everyone who's had problems w/miscarriages and the like. (That seasoning the skillet analogy's a pretty good one, though; I'll remember that!) Take care of yourselves, OK?

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  47. @Disco, I'm so sorry about your loss. Sorry I just read this now, I didn't care about the story and wasn't going to read the comments but when I saw 46, I thought, "oooh, something happened," and I clicked on the link with devilish glee. This is the opposite of what I got :(

    I have no words of wisdom but to all the women that have suffered through this, I'm truly sorry.

    If I can cheer anyone up, here are some options:

    80s awfulness (but hilarious
    or
    so cute you will squee
    or
    hotness

    Sorry about the ads.

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  48. Fuck! Open the links in a new browser. I should've added the code for that. Yeah that's right, I know basic HTML. Jealous? (read that in the voice of Amy Poehler playing the one-legged skank)

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  49. Disco- we are all with you in our thoughts. I had four miscarriages in four years (all so called "unexplained", meaning they found no genetic reasons)and am now the proud and happy mom of 22month old twins, boy and girl. Hang in there!!! And give yourself time to grieve. People can make weird remarks that hurt, just know that 99% of the time they just don't know what to say.

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  50. Daily Mail just posted photos of Amber and Tasya shot YESTERDAY and they still look very much together.

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  51. @Disco: My sincere condolences on this tragic loss. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you're going thru. This site got me through a rough patch this past fall and I fell in love with all the cast of characters here. They really make my day.

    And yeah, JD used to be hawt but now he looks a hawt mess.

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  52. And also to Jenni and everyone else. That has got to just be hell on earth.

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  53. @Disco, I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you :-)

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  54. That's great advice regardless Enty, I wish you'd be around when I was giving my ex a 2nd and 3rd chance! Xx

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  55. So sorry to hear of everyone's losses. I can't always comment in a timely manner as the posts come early morning for me when I am getting ready for work or at work. Big hugs from Australia and am touched by your courage, strength and willingness to share your vulnerability and emotions.

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