Tom Cruise Gives An Interview - Doesn't Say Anything
Only one guy could sit down for an interview with Playboy and not actually say anything when it comes to important stuff. Everytime someone gives an interview to Playboy, something comes out. I think that is the situation where John Mayer called Jessica Simpson, sexual napalm. Usually these are great interviews. Not with Tom Cruise. I feel like the guy talks like he is either selling self help books or thinking of t-shirt and bumper sticker slogans. Each thought is a saying rather than an actual thought or expression.
When he was asked about Katie Holmes he said, "She is an extraordinary person, and if you spent five minutes with her, you’d see it. Everything she does, she does with this beautiful creativity. She’s funny and charming, and when she walks into the room, I just feel better. I’m a romantic. I like doing things like creating romantic dinners, and she enjoys that." Doesn't it feel like an answer that is scripted rather than anything with emotion or feeling. Everything he says always feels so sterile.
When he was asked about Scientology he said, "What I believe in my own life is that it’s a search for how I can do things better, whether it’s being a better man or a better father or finding ways for myself to improve. Individuals have to decide what is true and real for them." Notice he did not say anything about being a better husband. Just father and man. It is like this answer has nothing to do with the question either. It is really frustrating.
He also said in the interview that he doesn't know why he said those things about Brooke Shields and that is not him. Oh yes it is. So him. He just got in trouble for them so he has to try to disavow them.
I got so tired of his Q&A that I decided to make up my own questions and his answers.
Playboy: Do you like apples for breakfast?
Tom: I feel like what we eat indicates the self worth we have for ourselves.
Playboy: Do you like watching football?
Tom: When I am watching something I really like to be involved with whatever is going on in front of me.
Playboy: Just how short are you?
Tom: One day I decided that everything we do in life allows us to grow if we take that chance.
Playboy: Are you embarrassed about Days Of Thunder?
Tom: I have had the pleasure of making some really great movies over my career.
Playboy: Do you regret the couch jumping incident on Oprah?
Tom: Have you seen the way furniture is made? I have been in factories and seen the looks of pride on the faces of people. Awe inspiring.
Playboy: Do you talk to Nicole Kidman still?
Tom: The people that are in our lives are there for a reason. I feel so lucky to have people in my life.
Playboy: Thanks Tom
Tom: Fascinating.
He has perfected the art of saying nothing..
ReplyDeleteI want to know what the original question was that made him answer "furniture is made... awe inspiring". What?
ReplyDeleteSoup without a bowl.
ReplyDeleteYears ago there were a few "therapy" type programs where it would start by asking you questions like "how are you feeling" and with every response, it would give you another generic response that could apply to anything. Tom (or his flacks) could write one of those. Maybe that's what he did - memorized generic responses and just used them wherever they applied.
ReplyDeleteI think before he switched handlers around the time Katie came on the scene, he was medicated. I think all of that Brooke Shields stuff, jumping on the couch and the general batshit craziness resulted from going off his meds. I don't care what his beliefs on psychiatry are.
ReplyDeleteI know he has a few loose screws, but I've always thought he seemed like a nice person.
ReplyDeleteLoved your version of the interview. Spot on target. Very funny.
ReplyDeleteFunny, . Anybody read suri's burn book blog? It is funny. http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/
ReplyDeleteI didn't see the whole interview, only saw snippets, but I thought it was very nice. He seems like a very genuine, sweet, humble guy. I hope for the best for him and his family. And I think Rock of Ages will be great!
ReplyDeleteThis trick...
ReplyDeleteYall, he gives me the creeps.
i love your part of the interview. Hilarious. I love people who when you ask them questions, they dont say anything. I call it the "jedi mindtrick". My husband perfected this over the years and my daughter was born with this "talent" as well.
ReplyDeleteTom has some serious issues. His response about Katie all the more indicates its a contracted marriage
Why doesn't he make movies with Katie Holmes like he did with Nicole?
ReplyDeleteThe obvious answer to me is that Katie isn't as good an actress, but I really haven't seen her in enough to make that judgment. Think that's it?
So insightful. Also so very sad..A man showing absolutely no emotion at all hiding who/what he really is. When you look back on the script that was your life would you be happy at how you played it? I wonder.
ReplyDeleteI blame the interviewer these were just softball questions and not worthy of what the magazine puts out for interviews which are more in depth.
ReplyDeleteOr somehow Tommy got his people to vet the questions before he was asked to prepare pat answers. OMG this is boring. Bring back John Mayer.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'd like, just for once, for him or Katie to answer any question that didn't glorify Tom Cruise.
ReplyDeleteKelly Travolta does the same thing.
It's like he is trying so hard to be human. But he just isn't up for the role.
ReplyDeleteMb thats just him boring. Just because these people can act does not make them deep conversationalists.
ReplyDeleteNiiiiiice one Enty! Too funny, lol.
ReplyDeleteBut, yeah, everything about Tom is so controlled.
Its like he's living his Magnolia character.
ReplyDeleteCome on, maybe he's just a REALLY POSITIVE person....oh wait...even the Dalai Lama isn't that positive.
ReplyDeleteDont Scientologists believe they are aliens? If so, I think they may be onto something. Geez.
ReplyDeleteTom Cruise post, check. Steppy's canned $cientolocomment, check check!
ReplyDeleteI think the biggest shocker for me was that playboy is still around. I used to subscribe for my husband and after a few years he told me not to waste my money anymore.
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOL
ReplyDeleteSteppy the $cientology apologist is back.
ReplyDeleteI hate hate hate to say it, cause I think he's a total weirdo and I can't abide by his Scientology bullshit, and he plays the same character in every damn movie ( hey, I'm the best race car driver/fighter pilot/bartender/lawyer/sports agent/supaspy ever!); he's got a cute crooked smile and he looks cute in this very picture. I'm sooooo ashamed.
ReplyDeleteAnd when he gave Oprah that tour of his Colorado (?) ultra awesome mansion/compound, I wanted to believe every word soooo badly. I wanted to drink that delicious kool-aid.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's a better actor than I give him credit for! Must keep reading CDAN so I can remain vigilent :-).
And trust me...TC is far too long in to toofs to be playing a rock god. Give me a freakin' break. I'll bet they change the end of the movie so he isn't accused of statutory rape and flees to Uraguay.
ReplyDeleteAnd trust me...TC is far too long in to toofs to be playing a rock god. Give me a freakin' break. I'll bet they change the end of the movie so he isn't accused of statutory rape and flees to Uraguay.
ReplyDeletehaha @Frufra, you "wanted to drink the delicious kool-aid"!
ReplyDeleteBut I KNOW what you mean! I'm the same age as TC, and remember when he seemed like a fab, normal guy, so I too wish I could believe it all...all well. I just hope I outlive him so I can read all the juicy tell-alls. Which I'll want to do even if I'm 90+.
@figgy - hadn't thought about the tell-alls! Something to look forward to in old age. Remember how cool he was in All the Right Moves and Risky Business? SIGH.
DeleteLOL thanks, Enty! MWAH!
ReplyDeleteGood one, Enty!
ReplyDeletebwaaaa haaaa the "new" Q&A, brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI saw the PopSugar article earlier about one of his mag covers for Rock of Ages...he had a baphomet tattoo on one arm, a cross on the other, a dragon/serpent looking one on his chest, what looked like a sun worship symbol on one of the bangles he was wearing, and another bracelet sporting pentacles......uh, was his stylist trying to cover the gamut of spiritual belief systems or what?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh look. Steppy is defending Tommygirl. AGAIN!
ReplyDeletebrilliant Q&A. really funny!
ReplyDeleteI loveddddd Enty's fake interview. I have to say I have never liked Tom Cruise, and not for any particular reason, he just wasn't my type. I don't dislike him either but I do think he's a little odd. I got bored one night and rented Knight and Day and damn it I liked him so much in it that I grinned like an imbecile the whole time and then watched it again and now I like a character he plays in a movie. That's all I'll commit to, except that I bought Ghost Protocol sight unseen, but it's about nuclear codes and that's my thing.
ReplyDeleteHey I loved Days of Thunder. =\
ReplyDeleteMiss Poppy, I've never been a fan of his, and I also loved Knight and Day. Despite his craziness, I think he is (or can be) a really good actor, and his crazy happy enthusiasm in that movie was infectious.
ReplyDeleteHe'll make a great politician,the ability to talk around a subject without getting anything definitive unless his opinion is reflective of the latest popularity poll kinda like our prez is.
ReplyDeleteWe need an Scientologist in the white house.