Monday, May 21, 2012

Today's Blind Items - Mom Finds The Women

You know, when you are a big tweener star who relies on wholesomeness and want to keep your reputation intact, you really can't go around hitting on every teen that walks by you. So, what do you do if you are an A list tweener and want to find some women who are open to more than just kissing, you let your mom handle it for you. Not a manager or an agent, not even a friend. Nope. Mom handled things for her A list tweener(s). Her only rule is that it has to be someone who is not a fan. She would find escorts who would sign confidentiality agreements in advance and then spend time with the tweener(s) and be gone the next morning. She had no problems with this. She felt it was way better than a scandal. It was way more preferable than waking up to some unexpected teen pregnancy or some crazy fan who sold everything they knew to the nearest tabloid. With a new escort coming every night there was no need to take that chance. Mom even made sure that when the tweener(s) had a girlfriend the escorts kept coming. At least one horrific breakup was the result of a girlfriend discovering that.

77 comments:

  1. Not the jonases... their family is religious. Who though? He made it seem like there was at least two...

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  2. It would be awesome if this was the Jonas Brothers.

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  3. Is it wrong that I think this is a great idea? Let the kid get his kicks in a controlled environment. It's like when normal people let their teens drink or have sex at home.

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  4. Carters? Nick and Aaroon?

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  5. Why not the Jonas'? Religious goes with their wholesome act, and they wouldn't want a scandal.

    I remember the Joe/ Demi breakup being pretty nasty...

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  6. Is this a recent tweener or one from a few years ago?

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  7. *Aaron. Ha, though.

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  8. I think it's the Jonas Brothers. I've found that people who claim to be "religious" are probably more into deviant stuff than the average person.

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  9. The Jonas that was dating Taylor Swift

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  10. Joe Jonas...Demi Levato as the bad breakup

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  11. Madlyb, that's really sad. Maybe it's because they're "religious", and not a true Christian. Big difference. ....................Whoever this is, it turns my stomach.

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  13. The Jonas clan is not as wholesome as they claim to be. So I go with them on this one.

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  14. Cole and Dylan Sprouse.

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  15. This blind is too vague.

    Tweener(s) with a mom who is alive. At least one of the tweeners has had a bad breakup.

    Let me start making a big long list.....

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  16. If it's an old blind, how about the Wahlbergs?

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  17. We seem to all be guessing Joe Jonas. Isn't he the one everyone believes is gay?

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  18. Joe Jonas with the escorts being men.

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  19. Its definitely siblings the way tweener(s) is written throughout the bv - wholesome, no scandals...?

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  20. Yeah, if the blinds are true and the consensus guesses correct, Joe is gay, and Kevin is too (his marriage supposedly an arranged bearding front), so that leaves Nick.

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  21. can't be jonas the majority like the peen

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  22. Beth, I'm with you...

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  23. Even if JJ is gay, it doesn't mean he hasn't been having sex w/women. He may not be ready to identify himself as a gay man yet. I know a gay (former) mormon who fathered 7 kids.

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  25. Yep, Cole and Dylan Sprouse.

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  26. i read this as the tween(s) being female. no?

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  27. Does LiLo have a brother?

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  28. Me too; the tweener's gender is talked around. Odd.

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  29. omg, yes ALL the Jonas brothers are gay. So is Rob Pattison (eventhough EVERY blind suggests otherwise) and Taylor Lautner, AND Efron.

    You guys are SO naive that you honestly buy into the "everyone is gay" thing. Sure, SOME are, but come on. Not all the Jonas brothers are gay. And I know that for a FACT.

    Second of all, if "Mom" is worried about random teen pregnancy, OBVIOUSLY its not a male escort.

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  30. blind says A list tweener, so the random names can't be it. Bieber or Jonas.

    Boy, I can't wait til Bieber is a former star.

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  31. Beastie Boys..... :(

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  33. Anonymous11:28 AM

    @Me: Thats how I read it too!!

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  34. I'm sorry, but this skeeves me completely. It would be like my dad finding me boys to screw to while I was still in high school. Ew. There are just some things a parent should not do. Being actively involved in their child's sex life is one of them.

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  35. I don't think that Joe is gay, only Kevin. I also think there is a clue in the unexpected teen pregnancy, it reminds me of the whole Justin Bieber baby momma fan drama.
    Also, I wouldn't consider the Jo Bro's tweener stars anymore, I feel like that train came to a stop at the 2008 VMA's where they performed Love Bug.
    On the other hand, who the heck else would it be? It could be Bieber, I have heard recent rumors that he and Selena have ended their fairytale romance. Hence the unexpected teen pregnancy comment and future messy breakup.

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  36. It's either the Biebs or the Jonai. I have absolutely no doubt that the Biebs has hit up the occassional escort (Remember the articles about him partying at the Playboy Mansion?) I can't think of him having gone through any nasty break ups.

    Therefore, I default to the Jonai.

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  37. @Me I also read this as the tweener being a female and immediately thought of Miley Cyrus and her recent interest in the same sex.

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  38. Except the blind says "It was way more preferable than waking up to some unexpected teen pregnancy"

    So wouldn't this have to be about opposite sexes?

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  39. @ angel, yeah I would think it would have to be about opposite sexes, otherwise, uh, I don't think teen pregnancy would be a concern. Unless I read the wrong edition of "Mommy, Where Do Babies Come From?" when I was in elementary school.

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  40. @angel yes, there is just something weird about the avoidance of the tweeners gender. I can't really see a teenage girl's mother hiring out male prostitutes for her daughter though...unless it's Amanda Bynes or Hayden P's mom.

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  41. I saw Jonas from word 4. Sounds like them. They NEVER had a scandal. Even Bieber got a little dirt on him. Gotta be them

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  42. And teen pregnancy could refer to the tweener, not the hookers. Grasping at straws I know, this blind is just really...blind.

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  43. the biebs?
    he's super close to his mum

    you know what, I think this is great. It sounds reasonable and safe. Its cool that his mum understands what his/her needs are and instead of going "omg SINFUL" she enables him/her in the safest way posible. win-win.
    As somebody who belongs to a family where sex is totally taboo this is inspiring :)

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  44. @Caroline, huh? I was responding (in a non-condescending way) to the suggestion by a few that this blind might be about a female Tweener.

    @JSierra, yes, the wording makes it pretty clear that the Tweener has to be a male. Perhaps the avoidance of gender was intentional to confuse things and not make it too easy.

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  45. @Angel, I wasn't trying to be condescending. I was trying to be funny. No worries, I'll keep my day job and not try to snag the new vacancy at SNL. :)

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  46. Well...The Jonas brothers - 2 out of 3 are apparently gay if the recent Blind Items are correct...one of which is married, so children would be a positive thing. Did any of the Jonas brothers have a very bad breakup? I can't remember which one it was. They also do have a wholesome image where they were also wearing those virgin rings or something.

    I don't think the Biebs had a bad breakup yet. Besides, he also already had a pregnancy scare from a fan.

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  48. @Caroline, lol, not at all. Humble apologies and thanks for kindly responding :)

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  49. A few things make it appear to possibly be lesbian hookups. "Preferably" could be a spin on sexual "preference", can't get pregnant eith GOGA.

    "Open to more than just kissing"...with this as an A list boy, shouldn't be hard to find unlimited girls willing to do more than kiss..but GOGA would be a lot harder to find.

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  50. That Australian kid.

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  51. And why would random hookups be a scandal?....GOGA wiuld DEFINITELY be scandalous ...

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  52. Cole and Dylan Sprouse are not A-list.

    I wouldn't call this "harmless." It's a pretty shitty life for the escorts, and it teaches the guy that women are disposable.

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  53. I do think theres at least one hetero couple in here. But the way I read the blind was that the mom bought the escorts so there would be no unexpected pregnancy.

    Just because the mom bought a girl for one brother, doesn't mean other escorts were males for the other brother.

    Of course we could be dealing with bisexuality here too. But that's me looking too far into things.

    My Guess is the Jonas Brothers

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  54. I think this is Lindsey Lohan. It is probably from years ago - when she started she was the wholesome Disney girl and probably wanted to experiment with both women and men (and tough to be the innocent princess when you're seen with random girls and guys). Doesn't this sound like something her mom Dina would do? Clearly, they gave up, or someone slipped, as we now know everything there is to know about Lindsey.

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  55. Sounds like the Jo Bros to me...even if one of them is gay.

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  56. The Jonas boys had that whole purity ring thing going, I could see this being one of them.

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  57. Isn't that standard stage parent stuff, though, esp. in Hollywood? I think Milton Berle's mother did that for him (he was a child performer.)

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  58. Those kids have to get their mother one huge mother's day gift.

    My mom wouldn't do that for me. Although she often tried to hook me up with her co-workers, or their daughters.

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  59. This could be mama jonas. those boys were never that wholesome and way back when they were not all that discreet if you know what I mean. I heard stories years and years ago about them. Maybe the mom wanted everything under wraps after that.

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  60. Statistically speaking, the boy with the biggest number of older brothers is more likely to be gay. So I say the youngest Jonas. Timberlake is out because he only ever had a breakup with Britney and she's the one who cheated. Sounds to old to be Bieber.

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  61. bnl1016
    How do you know for a FACT?
    Spill!!!!
    :)

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  62. People who have been around here for more than like 3 months since the Himmmm stuff blew this page up know I'm connected. The Himmmm stuff is why I've stopped commenting. Everything turned into a circus.

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  63. Jim Morrison circa 1967

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  64. I find this repulsive whoever it is. Geez, is money so important that you screw up your kid?

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  65. Whoever this is, I find it to be a very reasonable solution. It might seem a little bit icky for the kid, but in a way, it is no worse than mom trying to set you up with a friends daughter/son. This way everyone is happy. The guy gets his sexy times on, the girl gets her money, and mom can relax and not worry about any scandals.

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  66. I have little confidence in a young person who cannot find sex on their own in the entertainment industry. What next, he/she can't score drugs, either?

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  67. "It was way more preferable than waking up to some unexpected teen pregnancy or some crazy fan who sold everything they knew to the nearest tabloid. "

    Bieber has this exact thing done to him so I'm taking him as the A-Lister.

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  68. Anonymous10:31 AM

    the mom probably has sex with the escort first to make sure they are worthy

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  69. Britney and Jaime Lynn Spears as the tweener(s)?

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  70. I think it's whatever Jonas went out with Taylor Swift. Hence the horrific breakup.

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