Apparently Tanning Mom thinks she is all that. You know, with that horribly premature wrinkly skin and the at home dye job that somehow misses the roots everytime to the effects of kicking pack and enjoying your box of wine every night. So, naturally she volunteered herself up for Playboy. Hopefully she did not hire some poor photographer who right now is going through post traumatic stress because I know I would. Can you imagine getting paid to photograph tanning Mom naked for a test shoot? Have you seen Something About Mary? You know, Mary's neighbor with the tan? She is so much hotter than Tanning Mom and would you want to see her naked? Exactly. Anyway, thankfully Playboy turned down Tanning Mom and said she is out of her mind. I am scared though that Vivid might throw her a couple of bucks and we would be stuck with some double feature of her and Octomom called Octomom Goes Tanning.
Jesus. She is only in her early 40's, correct? She looks like an old hag.
ReplyDeleteThank JAH that Playboy turned her down!
*shudders*
I bet someone says yes.
ReplyDeleteShe looks like she's 80 in that pic.
ReplyDeleteI, too, say no.
ReplyDeleteoooooooo so gross
ReplyDeleteStone cold fox! Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure somewhere there is a tanning fetish site that will pay her $5 and a pack of marlboros to pose
ReplyDeleteSo that's what oatmeal tastes like coming back up. Thanks, Enty.
ReplyDeleteHow sad is it when Playboy has to release a statement stating that no.. we do not want to see your tan bits
ReplyDeleteI guess in a weird way, all is right in the universe again LOL
JoElla, I imagine it literally looks like beef jerky down there. Either that or Snausages.
ReplyDeleteBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf.
are her 15 minutes over yet? please?
ReplyDeleteWith as much Photoshop retouching they regularly do to their models (up to the point that most enter the Uncanny Valley), I don't see why Playboy didn't hire her to pose.
ReplyDeleteIs she REALLY that much less gross than Pamela Anderson at this point?
And this is why we have Hustler.
ReplyDeleteProofreading isn't illegal. Just wanted to put that fact out there.
ReplyDelete@Evil, she is that gross. Photoshop couldn't help this woman.
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SHE'S THE LADY FROM THERES SOMETHING ABOUT MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEvery time I see her, I think of that episode of Seinfeld when Kramer tanned with butter.
ReplyDelete^ or when Ross kept missing the turn for the spray tan on Friends.
ReplyDeleteMagda!
ReplyDeleteEnty, that is just a horrifying image.
ReplyDeleteHey now! What's wrong with boxed wine?? It's better for the environment, people!
ReplyDeleteIs there a market out there for dudes who like to whack off with leather objects? If such a fetish exists, jump on it, Vivid.
ReplyDeleteLets all be glad Bob Guccione is dead cause that tan man would be all over this trick.
ReplyDeleteI'd be curious enough to look.
ReplyDeleteI'd be curious enough to look.
ReplyDeleteOh classic! This just sent me into a fit of hysteria.
ReplyDelete"Vicki Cupper said...JoElla, I imagine it literally looks like beef jerky down there. Either that or Snausages."
LMAO. Thank you for that guffaw!
Omg, she looks in the mirror and thinks, 'Playboy, yeah baby!' I look in the mirror and think, 'take that f**king bobby pin out of your hair, you look like Tanning Mom.'
ReplyDeleteThere must be a polar opposite affliction to body dysmorphic disorder. I wonder if it's cured by a full page spread.
Self esteem issues can make one do crazy things.
ReplyDeleteBut...but...we're all jealous, fat & ugly, remember? *snort* Damn right I'm fat, but I'm sure as hell not jealous--I'm 8 years older than she is, but my face and overall skin tone is a HELL of a lot better than hers, to the point where most people guess me as 10 years younger than I am. Again, jealous? Hardly...
ReplyDelete(Once again, Vicki takes the cake on this one w/her beef jerky/Snausage comments...beef curtains? Beef jerky curtains, maybe... *shudder*)
Huh. People.
ReplyDeleteShe is delusional, but I admire her self confidence. Thank you world, for delivering this lovely person to us.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what kind of sick bastard would want to see that naked
ReplyDelete