Playboy Says No To Tanning Mom

Apparently Tanning Mom thinks she is all that. You know, with that horribly premature wrinkly skin and the at home dye job that somehow misses the roots everytime to the effects of kicking pack and enjoying your box of wine every night. So, naturally she volunteered herself up for Playboy. Hopefully she did not hire some poor photographer who right now is going through post traumatic stress because I know I would. Can you imagine getting paid to photograph tanning Mom naked for a test shoot? Have you seen Something About Mary? You know, Mary's neighbor with the tan? She is so much hotter than Tanning Mom and would you want to see her naked? Exactly. Anyway, thankfully Playboy turned down Tanning Mom and said she is out of her mind. I am scared though that Vivid might throw her a couple of bucks and we would be stuck with some double feature of her and Octomom called Octomom Goes Tanning.