Alanis Morissette was on Good Morning America today. You know, if it was Kathy Lee Gifford asking the questions she probably would have asked how Ryan Reynolds is. Anyway, the discussion this morning was about attachment parenting and Alanis is a big believer in it. During the interview she said her son could breast feed as long as he wants. Then she said 5 or 6 years old. I think if you go into that first grade year then that is a little too long. Granted, when they hit 6, they might not want to, but I have this vision of some child pulling out a ham sandwich and a bottle of breast milk at lunchtime. What is the oldest that anyone personally knows some to have breastfeed? If Alanis has another child any time soon don't you think it would be less likely her oldest would continue to breastfeed until 5 or 6?
Better than a mango!
ReplyDeletesupposedly good for the kid, but I don't think it's a good idea in general. I bet she gives it up when the kid can unhook her bra and ask for it in complete sentences.
ReplyDeleteI knew someone who breast fed until the kid was 5. It was gross. We would go to dinner she'd feed the kid a full pasta dinner and then he'd go for the boob right after. I always felt like a third wheel interferring on their date.
ReplyDeleteMy brother in law had his ass wiped by his mother until he was 10.
ReplyDeleteand I am completely pro breast feeding. but after a certain point you have to ask is it being done for the child or dies the parent just not want to detach?
ReplyDeleteThats a long long time...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSome things are just better left unsaid.
ReplyDeleteWhile I don't have kids myself, I was breastfed as a baby. While I know that it happened, I have no memory of it and I think that's really the way it should be. There's nothing dirty or wrong about breastfeeding, but it seems to me that not having a memory of it happening is best in order to have a normal, healthy mother-child relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt's the parent pushing for it to continue. I breastfed my four and they all lost interest between 12 and 15 months. It's up to the parent to seize that moment and move on to another form of closeness. I have seen mothers basically force their children to keep breastfeeding when the child has made a move to stop.
ReplyDeleteBitty. Bitty.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOfI48IWESo
I am so tired of this debate. With the Time cover, the Army women, Blossom, Alicia Silverstone, and now Alanis.
ReplyDeleteI just think it's weird. Breastfeeding is wonderful, but I just don't see the point past the first year.
Can we all move on?
Exactly. Not everyone is a breeder, or cares to be, or cares about breeder issues.
DeleteThat's a good point @Cathy.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt nursed my cousin till she was 5. We all thought it was kinda weird.
If doctors recommend no more formula, bottles, pacifiers after 12 months, why keep nursing? Same difference.
There's a point when it can effect psychosexual development. And 5 years old is past that point.
ReplyDeletemikey, not all kids automatically give it up at approx 15 mos. Mine lost interest at about 2.5 - altho the last year was only at night, sometimes at nap.
ReplyDeleteBut then he forgot for 3 nights running and I sure didn't remind him! The 4th night he was asking and I just said we don't do that anymore. He let it go pretty easily.
And to think of all the time, from about 1 year, that I wasted worrying about weaning!
I think Cathy has it right.
I understand that breast feeding is healthy, but what I don't understand is the way you're treated if you don't breast feed. The headline "Are you Mom enough?" is insulting to those who either can't or choose not to breast feed.
ReplyDeleteI had preemie twins who spent a while in the NICU, and it broke my heart that I couldn't breast feed. Literally, physically couldn't. I tried everything, because I knew it would help my little boys, but it wasn't meant to be.
Completely agree here- there was a woman in our birthing class who was a breast cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy and physically could not nurse - is she not "Mom enough"?
DeleteBut what really bothered me was the way people who didn't see the struggle of trying so hard judged me for not breast feeding.
ReplyDeleteSorry - still getting used to the mechanics of how the commenting works!
msgirl, I know I'm generalizing - your son wasn't nursing all day long and bedtime is usually quiet time and not public. He was probably asking for a snack when he was hungry.
ReplyDeleteWatch season one of Game of Thrones and you'll see a woman who chose to breast feed too long.
ReplyDeleteTV Junkie - I'm sorry those judgmental bitches made you feel badly. That happened to a couple friends of mine, two women who like you had twins, and one woman whose breast milk gave her baby physiologic jaundice (the latter being a physician herself). It's no one's business but yours why you didn't or couldn't breast feed, and no one else should take it upon themselves to judge you for it.
Absolutely - thank you!
DeleteAnybidy with a healthy baby is doing the right thing. Its nobody's business if it breast milk or formula.
DeleteEnty , hire Jaz Loves Drake !
ReplyDeleteA very similar question was 'asked' by Jasmine (Jaz) Arielle
on Yahoo in 2011. How old is the oldest child you know who was or is being breastfed?
Here is the link:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110514093507AAOd77g
If you have never read her profile, it is hilarious."14 year old Jaz Loves Drake". She is "Jasmine (Jaz) Arielle with a twin sister named Aurora (Rori) Belle."
Here is her profile link:
http://answers.yahoo.com/activity?show=18EspFzXaa
TV Junkie - I live in Seattle where everyone just so politically correct! I was in one of those baby groups, where everyone was nursing and all they would talk about except one woman who couldn't due to circumstances like yours. I always felt bad for her - not because she couldn't nurse, but surrounded by assholes who weren't sensitive to how they made her feel.
ReplyDeletemikey - I think by the last year it was a comforting calming thing more than a snack, he was HUGE ha!
The longest a friend has nursed (that I'm aware of) was three and a half years. She's a La Leche league advocate. Her kids would walk up to her, pull up her shirt, and nurse.
ReplyDeleteI never thought about Enty's question before - what do you do when you have a newborn and an older child who is still nursing? Do you nurse them both? Has anyone here done that?
I consider myself fortunate that 1) I was able to nurse my child - not everyone can - and 2) he weaned himself at 17 months. He just lost interest, and it was done. I was so relieved. I did it for the health benefits, and as much as I enjoyed cuddling him, I was very ready for it to be over.
I am an AP parent. my 26 year old still nurses at bed time. Not a big deal, it isn't weird. he doesn't cone up to me and pull up my shirt or stand on chairs to feed.
ReplyDeleteif you don't want to/can't breastfeed that's okay. don't question my parenting and I will never question yours unless someone were in danger.
to each their own.
Is this a conversation we're going to have every month?
ReplyDeleteI'm so tired of this "debate". If it works for you great, if not - cool. I have an almost 6 month old baby who I had to wean at 4 months because my milk dried up almost overnight. I had a hormonal shift and I've never felt more inadequate, embarrassed, ashamed and unworthy. Talking to my best friends - one who's still nursing at 28 months, the other who didn't care for it with either of her two babies made me realize that I would never have landed in such a dark place when I stopped producing milk if society was not so insistent on one way (breastfeeding) being the best way. I know it's the preferable method but holy hell, us new mothers get it the entire pregnancy and thereafter. I am so tired of explaining what happened to my own goddamn body when it was out of my control and just when I started making peace with it (I live in an area where milk banks and milk sharing networks aren't established), the TIME article comes out. I'm venting, I know. I just wish more of these lactivists where more actively involved in getting up in arms over the fact that there are only a handful of organic formula brands and baby food because it's a real travesty that I'm paying $5-$10 more for food that doesn't include hormones and antibiotics.
ReplyDeleteThe time article was meant to be sensational and controversial. most AP parents I know, including those featured in the story were upset by the might in which AP and Dr. Sears were portrayed. Plus by the fact that it added fuel to the "Mommy War".
DeleteWhat we really need to be doing is supporting each other whatever our circumstance may be instead of being divisive.
I agree so much. Once you become a mother this issue is everywhere you look and the timing of that TIME issue was just cruddy for me, personally.
DeleteI nursed my son for 6 months until stress dried me up, although I had frozen milk that lasted another month. My son is 14 now and the thought of it skeevs him out... LOL. I enjoyed that private time between the two of us, (and it was a great excuse to leave the room when I was done hanging out with with certain people that wouldn't leave). My mother was jealous, in the early 60s she was made to formula feed us, and my father was terribly uncomfortable to be in the same room. I fed him anywhere and everywhere, but always made an effort to find a private location or drape a blanket over my shoulders so we could maintain eye contact as well as privacy.
ReplyDeleteYour 26, as in should be living in his own place, is probably sexually active, graduated from high school still nurses. Are you Shia LaBoux Mom or just sick and twisted.
ReplyDeleteI'm stuck on Denise still nursing her 26 YEAR OLD??? Is that a mistake?
ReplyDeleteDenise, I know you meant month instead of year, but I'm laughing my head off over here at that mental image!
ReplyDeleteDitto - I am hoping 26 is a typo. He should be independent at that age.
ReplyDeleteI breastfed my son until 8 months and plan to feed the rest of my kids. It was a long 8 months for me...
@yawnathon
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you felt like that, cause you shouldn't, but I wouldn't place all my eggs in the society basket.
I wouldn't want to blame society as a whole. Once I found I was pregnant and was carrying it to term (another story in itself as I'd been told I couldn't carry after a particular cancer I had), the breastfeeding propaganda was everywhere, being pushed by everyone, save a few. The few for me personally being a couple of friends, one Aunt, and my OB-Gyn. I had women telling me to throw the formula samples I was given in the hospital gift bag in the trash the day before checking out with my baby. My husband told them he needed less preach in his monitor, at least he has a sense if humor about it.
DeleteI like her, I don't care if she does.
ReplyDeleteBreastfeeding is good for the baby/toddler/child. It shouldn't be newsworthy!
It's probably really good for the kid, but c'mon. Once the child has teeth...be done with it. It's a bit bizarre nursing a kid who can walk around and talk. Even cows, horses, pigs, puppies, kittens stop nursing once their pups start to get bigger and can eat solid food.
ReplyDeleteMy son got 4 teeth in by 4 months!
Deletelol
ReplyDelete26 years was a typo, yes!
omg lmao @ a 26 YEAR old breastfeeding! can we all at least agree that's too long? lol
ReplyDelete^omg me too! 26! that typo is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI am hoping that Denise's comment is a joke. Oh god, do I hope.....
ReplyDeleteI am pregnant now with our first child. If everything goes well, I really want to try to breast feed. But if I cant for whatever reason, I hope that I am ok with it. You are just as much of a woman and just as much of a mother if you breast feed or not. Mostly though, I know that the hormones after birth can be really rough, which makes me concerned that my super laid back attitude about it might take a hit if I cant nurse.
This obsession with it, and the crazies out there are making me hesitant to join "mommy" groups.
Thoughts anyone?
I made my own "mommy" group because I've heard such awful things about a lot of those sites. I got sick of googling "benchmarks" so I downloaded Your Baby's First Year Week by Week and it's fantastic. The app Baby Connect is amazing - it's $4.99 but you can sync it up with the other caregivers so it eliminates always asking about last feeding, nap, etc. Love it. I would rave about the Windi for the rest of my life. It's saved so many crappy days (pun intended). Amazon reviews are great for product questions. Loved Vicky Iovine's line if books. Funny. I love hearing what's worked for other moms.
DeleteI know you weren't asking for recs but that's what I got out of my group of friends & cousins in the first month and it really made things easier.
DeleteLOL- ok I am crying from laughing over here. Why did I not think she meant 26 MONTHs instead of years?
ReplyDeleteI was super squeeked out for a minute!
That would have had me giving birth at 6 years old. lol
ReplyDeleteI remember walking in on my cousin breastfeeding her 4 year old. I mean, staring at this long lanky kid in his mamas lap, nipple in mouth. I will never forget it. The only reason she stopped was because she passed away.
ReplyDeleteMy son and I could never get in sync to breastfeed. I agree that there is a certain stigma attached to moms that bf vs those that don't. I have had nurses make me feel bad about not breastfeeding. One time while at a checkup around his 1st year, they asked if he had been sick up to that point and he hadn't so I said no. she said, that's because you breastfed. Um no, I didn't, not even for a full day. She had assumed my kid was healthy because I supposedly breastfed. Only healthy children are breastfed is what I always heard.
I nursed until 2 years right around for both of my girls. It was convenient, and they pretty much weaned themselves. No bottles ever and then straight to milk out of the cup. I never felt weird about it, but I didn't nurse them in public. Though, I should not have been embarassed to, I still was.
ReplyDeleteI know a woman that breastfed her twins until they were 4 1/2 when she got pregnant again. It worked for them, but she was a total millitant attatchement parenter that pretty much thought you should get your children taken away if you did not breastfeed and if you couldn't for medical reasons, you shouldn't have had children. Ugh!!! So obnoxious!
Meh. do what works for you and your baby and don't stress about what others think!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter nursed for 2.5 years, I tandemed her with my new baby for about four months, and nursed him for 18 months until I learned I had cancer and had to deal with that. For us, it worked, but I see no reason for me to tell anyone else what should work for them or accept anyone's condemnation of my choices.
I'm cool with the photos...I think it helps normalize some people's version of normal. The TIME cover felt disengenous and staged.
@ Lauren who said:
ReplyDelete"I am so tired of this debate. With the Time cover, the Army women, Blossom, Alicia Silverstone, and now Alanis.
I just think it's weird. Breastfeeding is wonderful, but I just don't see the point past the first year.
Can we all move on?"
Girrrl, I am totally on board with everything you said! Haha! Also, yea...it doesn't surprise me that Alanis is part of this group. (yawn) shocking! (ZzzZzzz)
@ Lauren who said:
ReplyDelete"I am so tired of this debate. With the Time cover, the Army women, Blossom, Alicia Silverstone, and now Alanis.
I just think it's weird. Breastfeeding is wonderful, but I just don't see the point past the first year.
Can we all move on?"
Girrrl, I am totally on board with everything you said! Haha! Also, yea...it doesn't surprise me that Alanis is part of this group. (yawn) shocking! (ZzzZzzz)
Who cares?
ReplyDeleteHer little boy is adorable, by the way.
I'm just shocked she has the exact same hairstyle she did in 1994.
ReplyDeleteI am for breastfeeding to a point. I think when the kid can chew a steak and eat a full meal, it's time to "let them eat steak"
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother breastfed her firstborn (my uncle) back in oh, 1930 or so, but was nervous when he wasn't gaining weight. When she took him to the doctor to find out why, the doctor said, "I guess you just don't make a very good cow."
ReplyDeleteShe loved telling that story.
Well that sort of breastfeeding (could only do a year with each and even then it was way tapered down)is not for me but there are a lot worse things people have done to their kids than just breastfeeding them too long, so more power to her. My kids were in bed with me when they were babies (not because I was trying to attachment parent, just because I was exhausted), they are fine now and in their own beds, but some people don't agree with it.
ReplyDeleteMoms need to not judge each other and accept the fact that we know what is best for our own kids.
ON another note, her baby is GORGEOUS! Lucky her.
It does sound like "attachment parenting" has been made into something almost zealous and strict, ever since reading our previous debate and the Time mag story. I happened to have loved Sear's book, but the way it's represented now is so different than what I got out of it! My take was be with your baby as much as possible, do not let them "cry it out" but rather attend to their needs immediately so they grow up secure, etc, So that's what I did because it all felt right.
ReplyDeleteOur society is so black and white! Nothing in the middle! Parents should do the best they can under their circumstances.
Meh, I think she's only saying this to get attention. Nobody's been buying her music since the 1990s. Throwing in your two cents on a controversial subject is an easy way to get some publicity.
ReplyDeleteMsgirl...right on!
ReplyDeleteNot this again! Totally up to the mom. My sis-in-law did it for the twins until they were like 3 or 4 Not sure because at some point I am sure she was hiding it.Her joke was she was going to stop when they did their dissertation. She enjoyed it, the girls enjoyed it and like all babies stopped when they were ready. The girls appear to be quite normal now.
ReplyDeleteHow many times have we discussed this here? Honestly, sometimes I think Enty poses questions just to get us all up in arms about stuff.
ReplyDeleteAs I've said before, nursing after 12 months serves no nutritional purpose. Toddlers should be trying lots of different foods around that time, anyway.
And, by the way, the health aspects of breast over bottle have been WAY overstated by nursing advocates. Are there some healthier aspects to nursing over bottlefeeding? Yes, for some kids. But it's not the magic formula (no pun intended) so many people make it out to be. It's not going to make your kid impervious to illness, it's not going to make him super smart, and it's not going to make him a psychopath if you bottlefeed. Chill out, mommies.
Part of parenting to to help your child grow and achieve the next step in development. Having them breastfeed way beyond needed is something the mother dies fir herself, not the baby. If u feel that strongly, express your milk for them go drink. You can go ahead with your AP, but expect comments; it isnt in the norm.
ReplyDeleteThen wouldn't the opposite be true of women who choose not to even try to breastfeed at all for selfish reasons?
Deleteexpect criticism?
@ yawnathon - thanks! i love hearing what works for other moms too- esp first timers!
ReplyDeletethis whole breast is best thing is getting out of control. not everyone can nurse. not everyone wants to. why does it matter?!?
being a woman is hard enough without all the judgment. lets be kind to eachother!
A friend was born and raised in Italy by very religious parents. Their friends and family breast feed until 4 or 5 as birth control, the only thing the church allows. He was breast fed until 5 and felt very uncomfortable about it as an adult.
ReplyDeleteUm, breastfeeding is not birth control! I can't believe people still believe this ... you may not get your period but you are still ovulating.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love what auntliddy said, so I'm posting it again:
Anybody with a healthy baby is doing the right thing. It's nobody's business if it's breast milk or formula.
An author of several books also blogs.
ReplyDeleteAfter multiple miscarriages and a horrible pregnancy she produced very little milk for a child who wasn't interested in nursing. I watched in horror as the months rolled on and she refused to give up bfing even when advised to by her pediatrician and a lactation consultant. The baby, born adorable and chubby cheeked, became thinner and thinner. The mother was never able to bond with her child because she was constantly fighting her, the infant, sensitive to her mothers feelings, and hungry was constantly miserable.
Lots of people, myself included hinted that she needed to give the baby a bottle. Finally when the kid was something like 9 months old and TINY several readers ganged up on her. She put herself on antidepressants and the baby on formula. The transformation was immediate. A child sucked down a bottle, smiled at her and went to sleep. I blame the BF Nazis. No woman should ever feel like she needs to fight her child to breast feed.
Alanis looks just look my mother did when she was in her 20's. I know exactly what Alanis is going to look like in her 50's.
ReplyDeleteI am breastfeeding my 4-week old now and it is not all fun and games! I am sore and feel like a 24/7 buffet. I will also continue when I go back to work which will honestly be a pain in the ass to pump at work and lug all of the equipment back and forth every day. However, I know it's best for her so I'm committed to it. But I sure don't want to do it any longer than I really have to. I feel like 1 year is great for me! 3 or 4 years just seems a bit much - I guess I don't really get that.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. I actually enjoyed pumping after I returned to work - not in a weird way! It was more convenient; on my timeline, i knew exactly how much milk i was producing, and it was the only time I allowed myself a much needed break from the job.
DeleteTry lansinoh and cooling gel pack 'soothies' for the sore nips.
Texshan, I'm sorry, but you're wrong. There are actually nutritional benefits to breastmilk after the first year.
ReplyDeleteAnd chop chop, breastfeeding does suppress ovulation, to a point. The thing is, women ovulate two weeks prior to the start of the period. So if you don't have a period for three months, you haven't been ovulating for that three months. But it is hard to predict when ovulation is going to start back up again...this is what gets people pregnant again.
A period is the shedding of the uteral lining - you can totally be ovulating w/out a period.
DeleteWhat I want to know is why these women who insist on breastfeeding until the kid can walk up and ask for it in perfectly clear English aren't pumping and giving it to the kid that way. Why does it have to be the boob?
ReplyDeleteOh Alanis....
ReplyDeleteI hate this "mom enough" shit.
ReplyDeleteMy son stopped at almost 2, daughter at about 4, but they were both eating from the table before they stopped. Best thing: their immune systems were great until school. But I didn't publicize it; figured they'd be embarrassed by it one day! I knew I would have. I just didn't want to wean them before they were ready (and my daughter simply wasn't ready for a while).
I think you do the best you can; as long as the kid eats, what's the big deal. I'm expecting backlash against breastfeeding moms and that's just sad because it's just a way to eat.
So Alanis M can STFU about being proud she FEEDS her kid. Good; we ALL do.
I'm not going to comment b/c I read enough about this topic on STFU, Parents. But her baby IS beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI believe the WHO recommends breastfeeding until the age of two.
ReplyDeleteI did see Karen Black in a toy store, back in the day, breastfeeding a kind of big kid.
ReplyDelete