Yesterday, Ke$ha posted the photo above of her peeing in the street. She blamed traffic for having to publicly urinate. My question to you is what is your Ke$ha moment? Everyone has had to go so bad at one point in their life that they did something somewhere that was not a toilet. As a frequent drunk, I think that I have gone outside as much as I have gone outside. There was the time at 3am I used this random alley and there were two other guys there already doing the same thing. No other people around for blocks, but apparently that alley drew in guys who had to pee.
I've had a number of Keisha moments. That god I live in a city with alleys and garbage cans to hide behind!
ReplyDeleteHello everybody. I peed in a cab - just couldn't hold it anymore.
ReplyDeleteAlso peed in my hallway.
This is within the last four months.
Judge me.
Wait ... you're *not* supposed to pee in alleys? I'm confused. I do this all the time.
ReplyDeleteDowntown Vancouver smelled like an outhouse during the Olympics, let me tell you. Every back alley turned into a urinal.
After Blackhawks won Stanley Cup my friend and I peed in a public garage...too drunk to walk inside.
ReplyDeleteYeah but did any of you photograph it and put it on Twitter (with your real name!)?
ReplyDeleteI've peed in many a parking lot or dark corner along Forbes Avenue in Pittsburgh on my way back from the dive bar to my dorm at CMU. Them's were the days.
ReplyDeleteAlso have gone while tailgating for concerts. Rather be in the great outdoors than a port-a-potty.
Please do not EVER compare me to Kesha, Enty. The horror!!
Ok, this is really embarassing!
ReplyDeleteDuring a 10K race my stomach was so upset from having to #2 I had to squat under a tree in someone's yard because it was all residential where we were (it was a super nice neighborhood too!) or I was going to shit in my shorts. I had no other choice. Luckily no one saw (that I know!)
Oh, also I've gotten kicked out of a bar in Pittsburgh because somebody dared me to jump on the bar and start dancing. God, Pittsburgh is so puritanical.
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget going on the danger run (super fun multi haunted house road trip scavenger hunt) with some friends while tripping in high school. I'll also never forget the sight of my best friends full moon by the light of the actual full moon. We had to pee, so stopped and each of us took one side of a country road to squat. We we're lost for hours that night because we were on LSD and couldn't figure out the second clue of our scavenger hunt
ReplyDeleteI've peed outside (in a parking lot, alley) during Mardi Gras. You can get stuck during a parade with no bathroom in sight. Just happens.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I would never take a photo doing it. Ke$ha is a nasty little pig.
Yes, she is a pig. Get control of yourself, for chrissakes!! Ever hear of going before u leave the house?? Vdisgusting!!
DeleteI was so drunk one night and I was trying to puke so I could go to sleep. Well while I was sitting in front of the toilet, I ended up pissing everywhere. Ooops. One other time I was in Ocean City and was peeing in the parking lot with a friend and a bunch of fire works went off and we both got spooked, fell over and ended up with pee on our shoes. This is why I rarely drink.
ReplyDeletePeed in the alley behind my favorite bar. Well, with the way the bar is set up, I was basically peeing at their front door. Hard to explain.
ReplyDeleteWas super drunk, but when you gotta go, you gotta go..
If I could post a photo here you would see me squatting and peeing across from the on Sunset right on top of what is now known as the House Of Blues circa 91'..in all my Tony Hawk t-shirt and shorts-to-the-knee glory. I didn't give a mad fuck then and I don't give one now...when a bitch gotta pee, a bitch gotta pee!
ReplyDeleteOh and the halloween when I was 18, I stepped barefoot in someone else's puke, but was too drunk and tired to care. Crawled into bed without washing it off :/
ReplyDeleteThis got Dave Chappelle's R. Kelly parody stuck in my head.
ReplyDeleteI guess for guys it's just not a big deal. I have peed everywhere it seems. Probably the least private was on the shoulder of the interstate. Nothing for miles and everything was FLAT with no trees. I think it was in KS. Anyway, with nowhere to hide or pee I just opened the car door and hid as well as I could so I didn't expose my self, but it was obvious what I was doing.
ReplyDeleteNever have. In fact, when I was 14, I couldn't pee in the woods and my sister's friend who could drive took me to the Diner around the corner so I could go to a bathroom. I was so shitfaced, and guess what? MY PARENTS WERE THERE.
ReplyDeleteYep, BUSTED.
If you gotta go, you gotta go! I have peed in alleys before. It's been several years because I don't really party anymore, but yeah.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I am going to tell you an embarrassing and gross story.
It was my 18th birthday. I was living in my own apartment at the time and the night before, I was feeling a little lonely and a little sad that I was becoming an adult, and so I decided to comfort myself with some junk food. Namely potato chips and this blue cheese dip you can get in Sweden - it's powdered and you mix it with sour cream. It pretty much tastes nothing like blue cheese and lord knows what's in it, but I used to LOVE that shit. I ate an entire bag of chips along with the entire bowl of dip and then went to bed.
The next morning, my birthday, I had to go to school. I went to a high school that was nowhere near where I lived, and had to take public transit which took about 45 minutes. I was on the bus, and I started to get stomach cramps. They got worse and worse, and I sat on that bus, quite convinced that I was going to shit myself. So finally, I pressed the stop-button and got off the bus in an area I was not too familiar with, but there were trees and that was all I cared about at the moment. I got off the bus, ran into the woods, and pooped behind a tree. Yep. Not my finest moment, that's for sure. Nobody saw me (not that I know of anyway!), but it was still a shameful experience. My innocence was lost in the woods that day!
I totally told my friends at school when I finally got there, and they still tease me about it from time to time. But that's OK. That one's on me.
Yes but I NEVER took pictures!!! To this day the husband unit teases me about IT
ReplyDelete(and it was only once and NOT that many people saw--- I think)
Wow RenoBlondee, that's a good story.
ReplyDeleteYou guys help me feel normal. :)
Also a big fan of the barefoot in puke story.
I have to say that I especially love you all today for sharing your piss, shit, and puke stories.
ReplyDeleteMaja, you had my favorite line. "...I sat on that bus, quite convinced that I was going to shit myself."
While camping I had to pee in the woods.There have also been times for a long drive we've had to pull over so I could go pee in the woods.
ReplyDeleteThese stories are effing great!!! Definitely thinking about 'Piss On You' also @discoflux.
ReplyDeleteCan NOT squat & pee without covering my feet/pants/whatever in urine. I have tried & usually end up bare-assed with soaked socks in an empty parking lot behind a dumpster.
Had my first non-toilet shit in the Blue Ridge Mountains last October. Next time i go camping, I'm bringing a bucket or finding a better log (hehe) to hang my ass off of. :^p
Not to be a snob but thats nasty! Especially if u r squatting on a public street taking a photo of urself and then posting it on Twitter. Wow Kesha!
ReplyDeleteWhen my brother was driving me back to college after Thanksgiving and were in the middle of nowhere in Central Cali, I had to pee very badly. So He got off the highway and pulled off to this really muddy side of the road area that was right in front of a whole pasture full of dairy cows. So I did my best hide myself behind the car and go, but as I started to pee, all the cows at the fence starting mooing at me lol
ReplyDeleteI just go in the men's bathroom if it's a single bathroom setup and I really really have to go. It makes me giggle when the guy waiting has a WTF moment when I come out, lol!
ReplyDeleteI peed in a grocery store once. On my way home from a night of partying, where I'd had the (good?) idea of inviting every unattached lonely bachelor to come for Thanksgiving dinner the next day. So I had to stop and buy some more food, especially the ingredients for deviled eggs, which the current light of my eyes had requested. I suddenly had to pee so badly, I couldn't even make it to the store restroom (assuming I'd have known where it was even located) and I reasoned that I'd take a shower when I got home, so I just cut loose and let it run down my legs as I walked around the produce department. Then I bought my eggs and high-tailed it home.
ReplyDeleteI am not particularly proud of this.
These have been great stories. I am surprised at some of you who seemed so um cultured? Susan I am looking at you woman. However I have no public pee puke stories to tell because there have been so dang many I simply cannot remember them individually. I confess : I am a serial public urinator.
ReplyDeletehangs head in shame.
Back in HS and college, we'd drink in our cars before going into any bars, the consequence of which is we'd pee in all sorts of outdoor places. We never took pics though, that's really low rent.
ReplyDeleteOne time I was on a boat with guys, me being the only girl. We were drinking beer, I had to go, and they wouldn't let me go in the water. Nooo, they brought me all the way back to a beach where there was a port-a-potty. When I opened the port-a-potty door, it was so full that the TP was heaped up above the top of the seat. Very foul. However, I was beyond desperate so I climbed up and peed on top of the pile.
Another time on the train, Friday night happy hour. Had to pee. Waited on line for the always-disgusting train bathroom. When I finally got in, the blue liquid was about level with the seat. Beyond gross but it gets worse. As I was holding myself above the seat peeing, the train lurched and that liquid spilled out and onto my legs and feet. F'ing beyond gross and I swore off drinking on the train from that point forward. I needed a Silkwood shower after that.
I would also like to add that I am 36 now so it was literally half a lifetime ago *L*
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long time, but I have definitely peed in public - if you count the woods as public.
ReplyDeleteThe trick, ladies, to avoid it getting on you is to pee downhill. It will significantly reduce backsplash.
In a related pee note, years ago at a Lilith Fair, which obviously is a female-dominated concert, they converted some men's rooms for the day but most women were too modest and waited for the stalls. Lines, being outrageously long and too many beers, I ended up starting a trend of pissing in the urinals. It's rather easy, just face outward. ;)
In my younger years, after going out on a date with a new bf he insisted on stopping at his parents house for something. I was wearing a dress, heels, and pantyhose, etc. He was too ashamed to take me in because I was so drunk so I peed near a tree in his backyard. You try holding pantyhose and undies out of the way when you can barely see straight. Needless to say, soaked the hose, peed in the shoe and left my dignity in that yard. .... And that was very last attempt to ever pee outside.
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ReplyDeletepeople back int he day peed inside versailles palace.i really have nothing more to offer than that :-)
ReplyDeleteYears ago, out with friends in a ski boat. I had to go bad, no porta potty or privacy on board anyway. So I jumped in, grabbed the tow rope and ski, and probably peed for miles.
ReplyDeleteShe's not called Ke=$HIT for no reason.
ReplyDeleteI live in hickville & we party in the woods so ive done that a shmillion times... Ive peed in bushes on my way back from the bar when i was in school @ IUP. Ive peed outside of bars. I work in a bar & the bathroom line is always sooo long so all us bartenders piss in the subpump in the basement. Baha no shame
ReplyDeleteI have this problem sometimes because I have IBS, and another weird digestive disease no one wld reconize, and i hate it. Ive thriown out underwear in bathrooms, washed out underwear, put back on washed wet sorts. As the years passed, I hv a better handle on it, but man, i hate it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great Your Turn. Thanks Keisha for starting it and bringing into the light something most have done. My most memorable was walking the Inca Trail. I had my periods and had to poop on the trail, it was not good. So I used Immodium to block myself for,the next 3 days and didn't poo again until we reached Aguus Calientes. That hurt.
ReplyDelete"Does a Maja shit in the woods?"
ReplyDeletemy new go-to. LMAO.
@Miranda- yes EVERY alley was either filled with tourists pissing or locals smoking weed! Either way, too many cops! Imagine inviting the world to your city then not bothering with the required amount of porta potties.
Genius.
I guess I have officially lost my quest to become a sex symbol.
ReplyDeleteLots of times in the woods in HS at parties.
ReplyDeleteThe most recent public urination was a few years ago. My husband and I had just come back from dinner at our first night down at a hotel near the Outer Banks. We were going to sit outside on our balcony, have some beers and enjoy the remainder of our evening. We shut the glass door and when we tried to get back in, it was locked. (We later learned the door's lock had been installed wrong). Our cell phones were inside and we had no way to get back inside. We ended up spending the night out there because no one could hear our screams or the sound of us throwing furniture against the door. In the wee hours of the morning, I could no longer hold all the beer I consumed at dinner and I tinkled right through the balcony. Good times.
Not quite in public but I was in France last summer, waiting in the car whilst my family loooked around some crappy French village because I felt ill. There was actually a public toilet in the car park but anyone who's been to France will probably know public toilets in France = holes in the ground. It got to the point where it was either go or crap myself, which is a point I don't think I've ever got to before. Luckily I went in first to examine the place as there was no loo roll so I had to dash back to the car and get a magazine.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't actually too bad in the end, but I still hated it. I refuse to use most ones unless they're in a shop or restaurant, ones on the street are usually too gross for me. My mum was really proud of me (for using the public toilet) when I told her about it - which I didn't for a few days because I was so mortified!! :(
I'll get to my Your Turn contribution later when I have more time, but we have a rare opportunity to take out Lindsay Lohan, Kim K, AND some Fox News personalities in one shot. I'm thinking they all might spontaneously explode from that much hot air being in one spot.
ReplyDeleteIn the 1920's my very proper grandmother got caught short, and dashed into a cemetery to pee.It was in a secluded part of the city, down a gully, and heavily planted with trees. Task completed and mightily relieved, she looked up to see a hobo sitting on a nearby headstone. "Don't mind me, lady!" he said, as she ran away.
ReplyDelete"My innocence was lost in the woods that day!" Laughed my ass off @this one! My dear friend can pee anywhere. No shame. I on the other hand, have a very shy bladder. It freezes up if I'm uncomfortable. Lol. I can only use a portapotty in extreme circumstances. I impress friends with my ability to hold it.
ReplyDeleteI worked for a nonprofit that served those with severe mental illness. My office had a floor to ceiling window facing the rear of our building. "Mary" would stop into the agency for one thing or another, and each time she left would walk around the building, drop trou in front of my window & pee! Crazy! (no pun intended)
Church parking lot. And considering I was in seminary at the time it seems particularly embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteyeah but i wouldnt take pics of me doing it..kesha is trash.glatter.cum and urine blah!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing out loud while reading these posts. Granted, I'm a single momma right now - The Husband is away for work. I told him no Columbian prostitutes, please - the babe's asleep and I'm drinking my wines, so that may contribute to my giddiness, but seriously, these comments are awesome.
ReplyDeleteSherry - I ain't that high-falutin. For reals.
I'm very happy to say that I've never been that far away from a toilet. Ick. Nast!
ReplyDeleteEnty wrote: " As a frequent drunk, I think that I have gone outside as much as I have gone outside." Well, yes, I would say you've gone outside EXACTLY as much as you've gone outside!
ReplyDeleteThat's all I'm contributing to THIS thread!
(I WALK on those sidewalks, parking lots, and grocery aisles people! EW ew ew.)