Stars new to the scene can be so stupid. They haul outta town and they think they can act all diva-like and nobody's gonna be the wiser.
Uh, wrong! And perhaps no one's realizing this right now better than Consuela Conveyor-Belt, a newly minted star who thinks her stuff don't stink just because she went to the Oscars.
Gosh, what did Consuela do, exactly?
She ditched that boyfriend's she's so busy pretending to be all hot 'n' bothered with and went to a resort popular with disco-eyed Angelinos. With some girlfriends.
And when the partying gals hit a club which just happened to have a cocktail waitress who caught Consuela's eye, that's when things really got interesting.
Consuela made a pass at the waitress. The server then got all offended and stuff. Probably had something to do with Ms. Conveyor-Belt sticking her hand up the waitress's skirt, ya know?
The gorgeous worker-bee screamed bloody murder, at which point Consuela screamed even louder bloody murder! How dare you accuse me, don't you know who I am, and all that self-important crap.
There was a scuffle and then management swept the whole thing under the carpet, as it were.
Lesson learned: Sanctimonious B-listers who scream enough always get their way.
Until their beards who don't like the unnecessary attention drop them faster than you can say, "Who's next on the conveyor belt?"
AND IT AIN'T: Lauren Conrad, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt
Lea Michele? cause she seems like a bitch?
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought Sofia Vergara, but I think she was a star in Mexico for quite a while. And I believe she has a long-term boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteI like the Lea Michele guess. I've heard nothing but stories about how rude she is.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Lawrence? Lea isn't that new to the scene anymore.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Lawrence. Hands down.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Lawrence has been nominated for an Oscar and is probably more than a B...
ReplyDeleteStacey Kiebler
ReplyDeleteStacey is not B and not an actress.
ReplyDeleteStacey is not B and not an actress.
ReplyDeleteRooney Mara?
ReplyDeleteAGC says Zoe Saldana and that sounds about right.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the connection w/the AIAs?
ReplyDeleteZoe
ReplyDelete@Green wave gal
ReplyDeleteStacey is an actress, maybe more a C or a D, but she has been on few shows like George Lopez, What about Brian, How I met your mother, Chuck, Psych.
I am going with Sofia Vergara since the nickname is Consuela LOL.
ReplyDeleteI guess I just consider Stacey from her 'wrestler' days. Lol
ReplyDeleteNot Lea or Jennifer. Lea has a BV name already and Ted loves Jennifer for being down to earth and kind.
ReplyDeleteMy thought was Rooney, but does she even have besties she parties with?
well if either Sofia Vergara or Zoe Saldana put their hand up my skirt, I would have been like "well....hel-looo!" And I have a serious boyfriend. But those two women are gorgeous! I wouldn't be that offended, at all ;)
ReplyDeleteMissjenny619...you are a hoot.
ReplyDeleteCould see this being Rooney Mara
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's Sofia Vergara. She's been around a long time, has been married and is engaged. (She and her fiance don't come off as hot'n' bothered.) That said, she has done bearding duties in the past for Tom Cruise, but this sounds like someone with more recent bearding duties.
ReplyDeleteZoe Saldana
so why does he list the 3 that it ISN'T? None of them are new to the scene unless I don't understand what "new" means...? I have trouble with his blinds.
ReplyDeleteTwo reality stars and two failed pop stars?
ReplyDelete@hunter, Rooney already has a moniker.
ReplyDelete@Samiq, go to TAT and figure Ted out for yourself.
@Beth - I wouldn't consider JLH as a failed pop star - I mean, she didn't have a chance.
ReplyDeleteI really don't see the connection in the AIAs. Maybe 'cuz I'm pulling a Bobby Brown today. It's only 12:05, so I'm working on it, let's put it that way.
Why does Emma Stone spring to mind for me?
ReplyDeleteI thought of Emma Stone too. She is all over Andrew Garfield and he looks completely uninterested in her. She went to the Oscars and evearyone liked her presentation there. Jennifer Lawrence must be A-list since she's Oscar nominated and her film Hunger Games is breaking all records. Besides she is rarely seen with her boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteI think Emma Stone's a great guess.
ReplyDeleteThe first line in her Wiki bio is interesting -- it involves reality TV and singing:
"Stone launched a career in television after winning the role of Laurie Partridge on In Search of the New Partridge Family (2004), a VH1 talent competition reality show.[10] The resulting show, The New Partridge Family (2005), only produced a pilot episode."
What's Rooney's moniker?
ReplyDeleteI think it's Emma Stone. It's been rumored that she swings both ways for awhile.
ReplyDeleteRooney and Emma are still with their boyfriends. This is someone who was dropped by a guy (beard). Zoe Saldana fits perfectly. Not saying that it's true, just that she fits.
ReplyDeleteOh, and "who's next on the conveyor belt" definitely would apply to B.Coop.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea! I'm never good at guessing these things, I just ponder u guys answers. Lol
ReplyDeleteI think it's Zoe. Fits all the clues better than anyone else.
ReplyDeleteI don't think Zoe is newly minted--her breakout was really around Avatar.
ReplyDeleteAlso I don't think that this person is single because it says "she ditched that boyfriend she's so busy pretending to be..." which seems present tense to me-- although the end does seem to indicate that the boyfriend/beard isn't going to put up with it much longer. And honestly not sure Ted understands past/present tense as well as other vocabulary issues so maybe that doesn't matter.
I'm liking the Emma Stone guess for the reasons stated above specifically the correlations to the AIAs and the Oscars mention.
Rooney's name is Charlotte (Chuck) Finger-Dingle or something like that.
I like the Zoe guess and it ties back into the divatude on the star trek set.
ReplyDeleteEmma and Andrew Garfield just moved in together. I was thinking that shenae grimes from the descendants. Zoe is a great guess too, tho, making more sense. Rooney is chuck
ReplyDeleteWith Ted's choice of moniker, you can't help but picture a Latina for this. "Consuela Conveyor-Belt". Sounds like a buxom Latina who stuffs her curves in a tight dress, so that takes me to Sofia Vergara. But I can't see this being her at all, and besides, hetero or not, the waitress wouldn't scream if it were her, right? It's got to be someone much less famous.
ReplyDeleteIt can't be Emma, unless the whole bubbly, charming personality thing is an act. :(
Demi Lovato?
ReplyDeleteThe closest is Emma Stone, but the rest of you are way off, as usual.
ReplyDeleteI would guess it is latina based on the name.
Zoe could fit as Consuela since she's part Puerto Rican and part Dominican. Her birth name according to Wiki is Zoe Yadira Saldaña Nazario, and she's been on the cover of Latina magazine.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing throwing me off is the AIA's. To me they're all TV people, two of whom can sing.
Vanessa Hudgens?
ReplyDeleteSelena Gomez for sure!
ReplyDeleteAlthough she fits with the BF thing, I don't see Emma Stone. If this was after Superbad, maybe. But after Superbad Zombieland Easy A The Help, I just don't think she is new to stardom or B list.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Lawrence doesn't seem right either. She wasn't just invited, she was nominated for best actress. After Hunger Games, I don't associate her with B list. She has the chops to nail a role aka Winter's Bone and she can handle the lead in a blockbuster in Hunger Games.
I like the Zoe Saldana guess. She went to the oscars in 2010 though.
Out of left field, what about Selena Gomez? She has been a star on Disney for a long time, but as far as real world she isn't that important. She was at both 2011 and 2012 oscars, so that may work or it may not. She may have had success but lets be honest, once she gets out of the Disney bubble, B list is the best she can hope for. And when I hear someone pretending to be hot and bothered with a BF her and Beiber hit that to the T. Plus the hispanic angle works too.
One more thing. LOL at mentioning Shenae Grimes. If she ever touched stardom, which is very suspect was with 90210 at the beginning. I just don't see her as ever reaching B list.
ReplyDeleteSounds like Zoe saldana
ReplyDeleteZoey... She's latina so the consuela works! everything fits for her!
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was Paula Patton, but I'm not sure how Robin Thicke would fit in with that.
ReplyDeleteSelena gomez??? She's new to the scene and latina....and apparently always with justin bieber...
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget Selena Gomez's (former) band is called The Scene...
ReplyDelete