Things have got so bad in the war with her ex-husband that Pauley Perrette, who plays Abby Sciuto on NCIS may end up leaving the show and moving back to England. She has been Tweeting to her fans that she is scared for her life and that as much as she loves it here in the US that no job is worth losing her life. Although the couple got divorced six years ago, her ex-husband has been arrested several times with violating restraining orders against him. He follows Pauley all the time and even got married again supposedly to try and show that he is not hung up still on Pauley but he is and his most recent arrest shows it. The Enquirer talks about that arrest. Apparently Pauley and her boyfriend were at dinner when just by accident her ex comes in with his new wife. Pauley sent over her boyfriend to ask the couple to leave when Pauley's ex pulls out a camera and starts taking photos. He says it was just a coincidence the couples were at the same place. Uh huh. And he brought a camera because???
When he went to the police station to file a police report against the new boyfriend it turned out the ex was arrested instead because of a warrant from the last time he messed with Pauley. Bail was set at 100K so it was serious. Pauley is the best part of that show so I hope she stays.
Wow, crazy ex's are super scary. I imagine him being able to see her 7 days a week does nothing to calm his crazy. NOT that it is her fault or responsibility. Fame has alot of hidden dark sides. I would hate to see her leave but I agree with her, no job is worth risking your life.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to carry a piece.
ReplyDeleteAgreed or get a bodyguard.
DeleteSociopaths are always good at excusing and talking their way out of their behavior. Sad if the new wife is being used as a cover for his obession/stalking.
ReplyDeleteNo one should have to live in fear like that.
I've had a couple of stalkers and really, nothing has scared me more. It's freaky when you find out they've been following you around, not to mention when you glance over and see someone hiding behind their steering wheel/tree/whatever. I don't blame her one bit.
ReplyDeleteIf you do a search you will see the ex is seriously bad news and did some scary stuff during their marriage.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Enty, but I believe you should check both sides of the story.
ReplyDeleteCoyote and Mayra, his new wife, go to that restaurant at least 3 times a week, ALWAYS documented on twitter. He snapped pictures on his CELL phone, not a camera.
Try talking to his wife.
There is always a "logical" explaination...
ReplyDeleteMy sister had a stalker. Guy got married and used to show up to her concerts and sit in the front row. She said it was especially hard to stay in character and sing her parts when she would look down and see him just staring holes into her. His wife was in serious denial. Claimed he was just "a fan" and my sister was delusional. Yeah, just fans follow you everywhere and send creepy presents and regularly approach you when you go to your car. Not to mention he even joined the same church! Please.
Ah, no...
ReplyDeleteI agree. There is always a "logical" ie. Sociopathic explanation.
ReplyDeleteI googled him and he claims she threatened his life etc. What a worthless human being. I hope he does end up in jail - we all know it won't "fix" the problem but at least she can breath with that monster locked up.
As someone who has had a stalker and been terrorized, her strength is inspirational. She has been dealing with him for so long, I don't even know how she can live day to day.
I like her a lot. And there's a LOT more to the story...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005306/board/nest/54808941?p=1
He abused her physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally. And now he is stalking her, continuing to abuse her at every given chance.
ReplyDeleteThere is a special place in hell for someone like him.
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ReplyDeleteI just realized her ex-husband was Berko in "Empire Records." (Character was a scumbag, too, IMHO.)
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't she hire a bodyguard to be with her 24/7? I know it's expensive, but...
ReplyDeleteMy aunt's ex husband stalked and harassed her she had to move to anoher state. These stalkers are extremely clever- foe example, he wld bang on her apt door , but know enough to leave just before cops got there. He was an alkie, and wld take my three year old cousin for a "visit", and leave her in a bar somewhere, and my aunt had to go looking for her. Then he wld turn in the charm with the cops. These people are highly manipulative, cunning, and can be very charming. Its a f*cking nightmere. I hope her gets locked up and they throw away the key. Its a damn shameSHE has to upend her life because of this shit. Het, what about ncis london? I wish her well. Shes seems like a nice person.
ReplyDeleteMy hubs was stalked by a student, and it was scary. He felt bad for her, but I didn't. He finally had to get a restraining order on her. He found out later that she had done this in the past to a previous professor.
ReplyDeleteI've been stalked too, BUT I am very direct about no interest and do not send mixed signals. Too many times people try to be nice and it makes it worse.
As a professor, I have to be very careful about this kind of stuff. It happens quite a bit.
God forgive me for saying this, but I can't help but think that the only way to stop people like this is to kill them. Yes, kill them. As long as they're alive, they'll never stop what they're doing, because there's no way they'd ever give up the thrill of being able to maintain control like that over someone else, and as far as I've ever heard, they NEVER ever get change their ways or regret what they've done. Perhaps she has a hardcore fan who'd be willing to take one for the team?...
ReplyDeleteI love Pauley's character on the show, it would be terrible if they lost her. That being said, her personal safety comes first.
ReplyDelete@Robin
ReplyDeleteActually, you got to hope they find another obsession. They need to obsess about someone else.
It's true that stalkers don't change their ways, BUT they can change their obsessions.
Stalkers are criminals. Put this guy in jail, and that will give his current wife something to do with her time beyond enabling this psycho.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone read this about Pauley? Talking about hitmen:
ReplyDeletehttp://diaryofahollywoodstreetking.com/ncis-pauley-perrette-accused-hiring-hitman/
@robin - I can't help but agree. All they bring to this world is fear, pain and misery. And if they aren't terrorizing you, it will be someone else.
ReplyDeleteHey, Robin, a fan actually DID suggest that on her IMDb page (the link I provided above).
ReplyDeleteAnd sadly, you're right; if someone has the sociopathy of, say, antisocial personality disorder, there IS no cure. None. And usually no treatment, unless it's mandated. (The reason why, of course, is because the sociopath's behavior doesn't bother HIM/HER, so why get help?) And yes, they may change the objects of their obsession, but they don't change. SCARY.
I don't know that I can seriously condone just KILLING them, but... *shrug*
I hope she knows if she moves to England, he will follow her. She wont be safe until he's either dead, or in jail for a long time. Stalking laws need to be strengthened...
ReplyDeleteat least in LA they seem to understand the law better than other places...
I like her and wish her much luck because this doesn't sound good AT ALL!
The tweets about moving back to England were at least a few weeks ago, possibly longer, so... not sure why this is new news now. I too hope that she doesn't leave, but personal safety does come first.
ReplyDeleteAssuming CA's law is anything like the law in my state: If she has a restraining order (and those are NOT handed out like candy) and he turns up in a location where she is, even if he didn't mean to turn up at the same time, despite any excuses he might offer... he has to leave. If he doesn't leave or refuses to leave, it's a violation, and he should be dealt with accordingly by the authorities (which will depend on how many prior violations there are).
I don't think all stalkers are sociopaths. They have misplaced romantic fixations. Some stalkers are just pathetic living in their own fantasy worlds.
ReplyDeleteSociopaths by nature would not be stalkers because that takes too much work. Sociopaths are human predators. They aren't going to follow someone around and fantasize about him or her. They get what they need and leave. They don't really have the attention span to be stalkers.
All I read about sociopaths does not fit in with stalkers. Stalkers commit crimes against the object of their obsession because they have a fantasy in their head about what is really going on. They believe their target wants them too. They are highly delusional and in their frustration become a threat.
Sadly, stalking is on the rise with people losing their people skills by social media and the Internet.
@emeyekay and others who've been stalked: o have too and it eats away at your soul! Even when you are super clear with them they can keep at it. As much as I'd hate to see her leave and ncis London with her leading would be awesome.
ReplyDeleteWhere's the England coming from? Her imdb bio says she was born in New Orleans and raised in the South.
ReplyDeleteGeez - I really like her character and her as well. Too bad there's not a real Gibbs to take care of the problem!
ReplyDeleteAh, yes...I read that thread on IMDB. Do we want to place bets on how long it's going to take him/the deluded current wife to show up, or has s/he already? *gives sideeye to keks* Perhaps the term "stalker" isn't quite the right one to use here, although that might be just nitpicking over semantics; no matter what the rationale, these people are extremely dangerous to those they target. Anyway, this particular individual Who Will Not Be Named is frankly a far greater waste of germ cells & natural resources than most of the regular targets of abuse here (I'm thinking of the initial K for starters...), and it's just a shame that there isn't a way to turn the tables on him...or is there?... ;-)
ReplyDeleteMy mom got a gun and shot it in the air like Annie Oakley, when my step dad was stalking us.
ReplyDeleteThen she gave up and moved from Houston to Dallas.
That move ruined my life, but she had peace of mind.
I spent an evening drinking with Paulie and other friends one night in the late 1990s. She was very fun and entertaining, however her life stories were absolutely crazy. I have no doubt they were (mostly) true, but we were all stunned by the level of drama she was reporting that one guy actually made the comment to her, "You're sort of like Pigpen in Peanuts. You've got a cloud of disaster following you around."
ReplyDeleteSo, yeah, this doesn't surprise me. Not that it's her fault, mind you, (and it most definitely is NOT,) but she seems to be one of those people who collects crazies.
I wish her the best of luck. I'd move if I was her. Better to be safe than sorry. Besides, England is lovely!
@Henriette - True, not all sociopaths -- which is really just a catch-all layman's term and not an official DSM classification at all, of course; usually, if used, it IS referring to ASPD -- are stalkers, and not all stalkers are sociopaths. Google "pitbulls versus cobras." (And I apologize to the pitbull lovers; I didn't come up with the term!) Pitbulls are usually the stalker types, and cobras are the use-and-discard sociopath-types. There CAN be some overlap, though.
ReplyDeleteThere's some crazy stuff on Coyote's IMDB page, too. One post is from an alleged girlfriend claiming that Pauley did all the stalking, and then a comment or two from posters saying that the "girlfriend" is probably Coyote, planting the post to make Pauley look bad.
ReplyDeleteI keep coming back because I find this subject fascinating! Everyone should read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. It was a real eye opening for me.
ReplyDeleteSadly, a lot of people are stalked and don't even know it. With all the access Facebook gives you, if a person wants to find you, he or she can.
As far as Pauley collecting nuts, I know people like that and wonder. I wonder if they just lack the ability to sense the crazies, OR they get something out of the drama of being around crazies.
Moved back to England, she is from New Orleans.
ReplyDelete@Henrietta, I read that book when it came out, and made sure my daughter had a copy. I have the *snap my fingers, catch another elevator* thing down pat.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice *never trust someone who won't take no for an answer*.
Great, great book!
@ Henriette and Del Riser - We have that book at my agency, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Have you read WHY DOES HE DO THAT? That's a good one, too.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, the comments on that diary of a hollywood street king link are pretty....weird. that chick kinda sorta has the scent of crazy wafting off her photo, I hate to say it but. . .
ReplyDeleteI too read The Gift of Fear and made sure my kids read it. Actually I should prolly reread, it's been awhile.
ReplyDeleteThis Coyote guy, wasn't he married or engaged to Bebe Buell in the 1990s? Pretty high crazy factor for both of them.
@AKM, no I haven't read the book you mentioned.
ReplyDeleteGavin's book is all about the fact that fear is a gift of our more primitive selves and too often we ignore it at our own peril.
That creepy feeling about the guy waiting for the elevator with you, a stranger who offers to help you with something, you say "No", and they insist, forced bonding from a stranger perhaps in the grocery check out "Oh, I have a dog too."
He tells us to forget about hurting a strangers feelings, if you feel the least bit creeped out or that little tingle that says don't, DON'T.
It's not really about men per se, but about danger and how we ignore our body trying to warn us.
the thing is, restraining orders are for people who follow rules. and guys like this think the rules don't apply to them. freak. the more people that know he's stalking her the safer she will be.
ReplyDelete@keokuk
ReplyDeleteIsn't that a weird site? I've been addicted to it today. Love his comments about Bewolf and Jay Z. He also outs LL Cool Jay as being gay.
@AKM
Haven't read that book, but I googled the contents and may read it. My problem with those types of books are they make you paranoid about your relationships. When you read books like that, EVERYONE to some degree falls into the "abuser" catagory. I read a similar book titled When Good Men Behave Badly. I think The Gift of Fear looks at fear from a very interesting and important angle. There is so much self-help out there telling us to befriend our fear, this book helps us trust ourselves.
Yeah, restraining orders do not work for nuts.
Liv Tyler had to move her mother (Bebe Buell) to Maine to get her away from Coyote.
ReplyDeleteI used to be in the club scene with Pauley & Coyote back in the late 90's, early 2000's (Club Makeup and Club Cherry) and I hung out with her regularly. Coyote used to be the DJ and Pauley was a go-go girl. (she had platinum blonde hair and her outfits were always insane!!!!). She was on that show with Jennifer Love Hewitt at the time and she told me that nobody on the set liked her, haha! But anyways...back to the main topic.
I don't know much about their relationship, but I do know that she was a very, very sweet girl and that he cheated on her all the time. I'm sure she knew it, but she was blinded by love.
The move to england comments are because her fiance is from there, not her.
ReplyDelete@Robin the Mad Photographer, I'm a long time reader here on CDAN, I comment here sometimes, I've had my photograph posted by Enty on the 4th of july and 1st of january several times, I am most definitely not Mayra Dias Gomes, Coyote's wife, though we do have a history (not a good one at that).
ReplyDeleteI just think you are all so eager to jump to conclusions, you might be unfair.
I'm not saying either one of them is right or wrong, I'm just saying there are TWO SIDES to this story, try and listen to both of them before declaring someone a sociopath. That's all.
miss perrette is a fine and funny actress. she has a knack for being funny one second and dead serious the next. if she were to leave NCIS it would be a real shame, but with the current situation with her ex she should do whats best for her. her only mistake was to let everyone know that she might go to England with her fiance' that was a mistake. if you're going to boogy on out don't advertise it!
ReplyDelete