Well, I stayed up until 1am which is not that unusual, but what was unusual is that I also tried to stay relatively sober so I could share my impressions of Lindsay on SNL. I thought that whoever was holding the cue cards and managing the teleprompter probably got a great show. Lindsay's eyes moved over there so frequently I thought he might be holding some coke and unattended Chanel bags.
When the best part of the show involves two appearances that last a total of 30 seconds by a guy who had probably 20 minutes to prepare then you know your star turn did not go as well as planned. Jon Hamm and Snooki and Jon Hamm in the cold open were the finniest parts of the show.
The only skit I liked even a bit was Lindsay in the Real Housewives of Disney and that was due more to writing than Lindsay.
SNL brought out all their big guns this week, but it was generally a waste of time and Lindsay just did not bring it. She did not even come close to memorizing any lines at all and she was way worse this time than she was last time and I'm not bringing her any offers based on this.
Oh, and she needs to go back to being a redhead.
The Disney Housewives made me LOL. Great bit.
ReplyDeleteI despise SNL and I actually found myself laughing quite a bit. That hasnt happened in years watching this show. And I love jack White.
Quite a few times this week she was papped walking around with the SNL script - you would think she'd have her lines down pat.
ReplyDeleteAnd considering that she's an "actress," I too, was surprised to see how much time she spent reading the cue cards. And was so obvious about it.
I thought the show was awful and not just because of her. Most of the sketches, what few there were, were crap. Two commercial reruns and a digital short that looked like it had been thrown together at the last minute? I wonder what go cut.
ReplyDeleteI guess she did okay because she was hardly there, but Jack White was awesome. He was worth watching the show all by himself.
They put Lindsay in several dark/red wigs and she looked so much better. Btw, what happened to her singing her monologue?
Sorry Lindsay this isn't going to help you one bit...
ReplyDeleteFWIW, the writers change the sketches so often that sometimes you don't get to memorize your lines. In no way am I sticking up for Train Wreck. Just started watching it on Hulu, haven't made it past the Disney sketch, which is pretty damn funny so far. I read reviews this morning and people are not being kind.
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ReplyDeleteSome people are blaming the writing, but the writers need someone they can work with. It looks like they pulled out the easy stuff for her. We don't know if they had better skits and she just couldn't pull it off, which seems very plausible after what I saw last night. She needed to do way more than she did to stage a comeback. I'm not talking about a Christopher Walken, Alec Baldwin level of good, but close.
ReplyDeleteShe was okay in some of the skits, like the '50's bad girls - but all she had to do was show her legs, jiggle, and act like a bad girl, which probably wasn't too much of an "acting" stretch. I didn't have tv or go to the movies when Lohan was popular, but I cannot believe she was ever a good actress after what I saw last night, because she is still at child actress level, if that.
Bill Hader cracked me. I don't watch SNL all that much, but just looking at this guy kills me. His Shepherd Smith skit was awesome. It wasn't the worst show I've ever seen. I liked the Real Housewives of Disney, but that was done better by the Real Housewives of Boston. Still, it was cute.
Jack White - yeah. My knees went weak when he was on, and it's the first time I've ever had an urge to scream hysterically when seeing a rock star. And I'm too damn old for that, but I love him!
I felt as though the entire SNL thing was a big mercy f*ck for Lindsay, excuse the analogy. What I find amazing is that people are still willing to give her a shot. 99.9% of stars who've done 1/4 of what she has get tossed by the wayside and their careers are over, barring the dregs of reality tv.
That's my take.
Bill Hader actually cracks me up. Had to finish that sentence. Oh, and I was subjected to years of "Nickelodeon" when my daughter was younger, and I do not in any way find Kenan Thompson funny. I just don't.
ReplyDeleteThe disney housewives cracked me up, and I liked the rude budda but...
ReplyDeleteHow said is it that the funniest part was the chantex commercial?!
The whole show felt flat, and like others said, I can't totally blame lindsey.
REALLY bad writing, SUPER boring skits.
ReplyDeleteShe was okay but nothing remarkable. Not the raging success it was supposed to be.
Agreed that SNL writers change scripts at last minute though.
The cue card reading was painful, especially in the 'Scared Straight' skit. The whole thing felt like a run-through rehearsal, NOT the real performance.
ReplyDeleteI am still rooting for her to get her shit together but I don't believe for a second that she has rounded that corner.
I'm honestly not trying to be nasty here but I really couldn't figure out what is going on with her face/cheeks? Is that from fillers? She's too young for that!!!
When you have to RELY on strong cast members like Wigg here to make your performance go smoothly, you're a hack (for comedy at least).
ReplyDeleteThe reason Maya Rudolph/Alec Baldwin/John Hamm et al. are favs is because practically every skit is like a mini-movie- they are on, they stand out, and they deliver quality.
Lindsay is no John Hamm.
I like Kenan. Actually, I may or may not enjoy the Virginiaca sketches. However, I do not care for Jason Sud-whatev. He's funny and all, but I find him kind of creepy.
ReplyDeleteJack White is dead sexy. Add him to my list. I forgot about him.
ReplyDeleteLindsay looks so weird. What the hell has she done to her face. My husband saw her and said she looks anywhere from 35 to 60 years old. I don't think she did well and was glad when she wasn't in a lot of skits.
I did love the real housewives of Disney, though. John Hamm is always a small thrill to see.
disenchanted, I think that is sort of the point. That Sudekis is supposed to be sort of sleazy and creepy.He can be quite funny at times. The funniest sketch of the year was Sudekis as Jesus telling Tebow to tone it down a bit.
ReplyDeleteAs for Lohan. She was bad.Unprepared, and very jittery. But had a sense of humor about herself.I guess that has to count for something.
I didn't watch it, but my husband saw "Mean Girls" earlier this week. He said Lindsay used to look so hot. Then I showed him all the recent pics of her. He was floored. Said she looked like the Mob Wives and if he didn't know she was 25, would have thought she was pushing 50.
ReplyDeleteWhat "Movie" is going to allow her to use "cue cards"? I watched last night and if it wasn't for the other cast members, I would be writting NBC and asking for my 90 minutes back. She wasn't funny, didn't know her lines at all, in fact she probably did not know where she was. I bet she was there for the party and got blasted. For me it isn't that I expect her to be bad anymore its how painfully BAD. Loved Jack White, Jimmy Fallon, John Hamm. How do you even write for her, I'm sure she was whinning during rehersals.
ReplyDeleteIn the scared straight skit, when Sudekis jumped on the desk, and things flew - I started cracking up w/the cast members and audience. Was there something we didn't see, or were they laughing at the hot mess who had just left the skit. I have never seen such a more obvious job of cue card reading in my life!!
ReplyDeleteFriend of mine has hosted the show a few times and he said that every day the sketches are different, and you never know what will make it to air...sometimes what he thought were the funniest skits never make it to air..,
The fact that the camerman zoomed in on her when she was reading the cue card was the best part. It's like they just decided on the fly to make lemonaid out of lemons. You could see her eyes going back and forth reading. She just went up the notch on Megan Fox reading cue cards.
ReplyDeleteLindsay's voice is still shot, she looked like she was hopped up on Xanax and I did love the Emma Stone dig at the beginning.
The fact that she called Lorne and begged for a gig just makes it that much sadder.
SNL shot their load with the funniest bit in the first sketch. I don't see Hollywood going, omg we were wrong you are a great comic actress, come back Lindsay come back!!
You all took the words.out of my mouth regarding that mess.
ReplyDeleteLindsay looked her best in that stupid phone call sketch (can't blame the stupid on her there). She almost looked her age and for sure she should go back to red.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Lindsay's willingness to go self-deprecating is a plus for her. There's a lot of celebrities who don't understand that.
All Lorne did for her last night was put another nail in her career's coffin.
ReplyDeleteThe RHODisney was great. Drunk Cinderella, gay Prince Charming and the dwarf high five. First time I laughed out loud to SNL in a long time.
Good God, Kneepads is already slobbering over her.
ReplyDeleteHow embarrassing. You should read the articles on the DailyMail.com - 3 posts that all generally agree #ShesDone.
ReplyDeleteShe must have blackmail photos of Lorne fucking donkeys or something. What a hot mess. As Lainey would say, sit DOWN, Lindsay Lohan.
ReplyDeleteI realized last night why Lindsay's career never really caught fire (besides the obvious.) She just has no on screen presence. There's just blankness there. There is nothing engaging or interesting about her when she's performing. It's like all she's thinking about is the paycheck. You can see it in her past movie roles. She was just decent in Mean Girls because she had a wicked script to work with and decent actors playing off her. Rachel McAdams became the star from that movie, not Lindsay. She was shifty and distracted last night. And SNL is a show where the writers and cast do 90% of the work. Between Update, musical performances, taped sketches and commercials she was onscreen for maybe 20-25 minutes. Hardly grounds to mount a big Hollywood comeback. She flubbed her lines several times (to be fair though many people do this - Even DeNiro flubbed his readings a few times) and she just seemed out of it. The Disney sketch was the best because it was pre-taped. They could construct something from it. She tried but I don't see a big comeback for her. Not with Emma Stone and Carey Mulligan, Michelle Williams and Elizabeth Olsen and a slew of other young actresses that are talented, disciplined and fascinating to watch making names for themselves in the industry. Lindsay is not that. I'm not saying her career is over but I don't see her in a "Spider-Man" type movie. Maybe something more like "Saw 13."
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ReplyDeleteNot to defend her but go back and watch any SNL episode, they rely so much on the cue cards. As others said, the show changes constantly and what was in the dress rehearsal may not even make the actual episode. I can't fault her for that.
ReplyDeleteIt was a weak episode but seriously, she can't act. Could she ever though? Mean Girls was a great movie but not because of her and it's not like strong acting skills were required.
The Housewives sketch was funny, as was the DJs for the morning show on the rap station but LL was barely in it and wasn't necessary at all.
I did chuckle that she played herself in the scared straight sketch but she messed up her lines constantly.
The bad girls sketch was probably the most painful thing. You can blame the writers but they do need something to work with.
Jack White is awesome.
As someone who's not American, SNL during election years sucks because I really don't care about all the political stuff.
Another commenter somewhere else suggested she may have gotten the fillers to fix any facial wasting from overuse of meth but...
ReplyDeleteI don't necessarily think that's the case, I think it was just a stupid decision on her part.
The best thing I can say is, at least she tried.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but compare LiLo to DanRad and the differences become clear. He didn't have the best skits either, but he worked hard and fully committed and it was still somewhat enjoyable to watch. Same with Timberlake. When the host is willing to work hard, even the worst writing is bearable. And a good host knows that the skits will change and can work with it and not make the cue card reading so obvious.
ReplyDeleteThe only good skit was was the Disney Housewives as we've all said ,but it had nothing to do with LILO being in the skit.....it was the entire cast spoofing Dana & The Cuntess Louanne who nailed it.
ReplyDeleteI noticed the makeup man tried camouflaging LILO's pudgey double chin with darker pancake makeup as the line of demarcation was overtly visible.
She's yet to accomplish anything career wise, post legal troubles, so spoofing them, specifically the stolen necklace, was just too early. Try having a comeback a la Robert Downey Jr and then we'll talk.
In the mean time go away!!
P.S. John Hader's spoof on Shepherd Smith was so funny. A few years ago i did not care for him but these days he's really holding his own.
ReplyDelete"Lana Del Ray"'s dad must have paid her a ton of money (or coke) to suck that bad.
ReplyDeleteI loved the Disney skit! I also loved the opening one about Shepard Smith from Fox. It was too funny and having Kid Rock endorse you is not great Mitt.
ReplyDeleteI also loved Jon Hamm as the father of Snookie's baby! Jon Hamm was better than Loser Lohan.
The Chantex commercial is old. I've seen it before.
The cue card complaint isn't much of one since the show changes the script so often, that everyone has to pay attention to them and, usually, it's pretty noticeable no matter who is hosting.
ReplyDeleteI thought LL did okay, a mediocre performance. She wasn't good, she wasn't bad, she was just there being carried along with the usual machinations of the show. The staff of SNL are masters at propping up a host, no matter how talentless they are.
The only things outstanding is that it's obvious she should go red again and that she could easily be found dead any time now. She does not look healthy. It was kind of sad to watch.
Yes, the cue card reading is standard for SNL, but the reason it was so noticeable is because she did such a crappy job at it. It wouldn't have really mattered, if she had brought any life to her performance. Of course, it was probably stressful for her since we know she's barely literate.
ReplyDeleteThe Chantex commercial was a repeat. Makes you wonder what they pulled that was supposed to go in its place.
I don't usually watch SNL, but now I know why everyone complains about it - that was some bad, boring writing for the most part.
Maybe Lindsay was allowed to host so that Lorne Michaels could show Lindsay that she is FAR more attractive as a redhead. I thought the show was ok and had some good laughs but none of them came from Lindsay. The only thing I got from her was a stiffy and a new desire to bang her. Honestly, if I won the lottery I might have to attend one of those auctions she likes to get guys to buy her things and she'd be "Appreciative". There was a blind about that right?
ReplyDeleteI'm a guy with an over-active sex drive sue me. ha
And yet another skit that goes on too long. Kriten Wiig is always the funniest one of the bunch. Other than that I missed the show (well, not really).
ReplyDeleteI finished watching. She was worse than I'd heard. That was some seriously bad cue-card reading.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the reason for everyone cracking up in the scared straight sketch is because Jason S. pulled his pants out of his crack right when Keenan walked out of the room. I rewound it because they were laughing so hard.
Mostly I feel bad for Linds. Like someone else said, she tried... but she didn't succeed.
Oh, and Kristin Wiig as Kim Richards? Too funny.
ReplyDeleteI DVRd so didn't watch until last night but my take
ReplyDelete*yeah, all hosts use cue cards bc of the fact that changes made last minute, etc, but most are able to glance at them without being totally obvious or flubbing lines while reading them. She was honestly one of the worst I've seen, and I like SNL (especially Bill Hader who was AWESOME as Shephard Smith and James Carville--apologies to the crew outside the US who are probably bored w our politics-- we have to laugh because its just so pathetic)
*The fillers, etc I think were to make her look more like she used to on camera. With full makeup and lighting, and a wig covering the edges of her face except the chin, did make her look a bit more like the Parent Trap/Mean Girls LL. Don't know if that was what she was going for but it didn't look so awful as the pap shots.
*She needs to wear a gd BRA.
*She needs to go back to being a redhead, clearly, the best she looked was as one in the phone sketch.
*It does seem like the pulled a few live sketches in favor of pretaped (and preused) commercial sketches.
*She didn't do a Digital Short, which almost all the hosts (or musical guests) who are actually into it do.
Overall I thought this was a chance for her to do a mea culpa/show that she still has it. But her monologue was far from a mea culpa, the "making fun of herself" in the monologue was really tame, and she showed that she doesn't have it (acting talent) and honestly I agree she probably never really did anyway. And the show could have had some fun with the situation, that scared straight skit could have been really funny, they could have gotten tons of material from her personal life to do a whole show if she was willing to. I'm not blaming the SNL writers, I don't think she wanted to be made fun of that much. If she had then I think the bad acting would be excused. But she wasn't and she sucked as an actress and no one is going to be calling with offers after that.
I wonder what the ratings were bc I have to imagine they were really high, that's probably why Lorne agreed.
Always nice to see Jimmy Fallon and Jon Hamm stop by regardless of the reason!
The first thing I side eyed off the bat was WHY did they show two repeats of the commercials from a few weeks ago (Verizon + Chantix, which are hilarious but i feel like they just aired them).
ReplyDeleteTotally agree that SOME of this was the writing, but MOST of this was, as Mooshki mentioned, her complete lack of life in the performance. She got this opportunity (fair and square, eh?) and she kind of blew it IMO.
Jon Hamm + "Snooki" was my favorite part too. When he ran off camera, I almost peed my pants.
What I was DYING to know is what the other actors thought about her being given this opportunity. Did they just give her all the crappier sketches? I have always wondered if they saved certain sketches for celebrities.
In the opening, I saw some of the old sparkle & timing she used to have. But she lost it from Scared Straight on to the end. Honestly, that Scared Straight was awful. She fumbled & stumbled through what should have been an ok sketch.
ReplyDeleteI think her bod looked great during the opening in the blue dress, but the next 2 dresses she wore she looked flabby. Bet she Spanxed it out for the monolog, then thought, why bother?
As for Fallon & Hamm, Lilo was on Fallon's show on Thurs nite & begged him to come on w/her. He's such a stand-up guy, he agreed & actually kept his word. I love Jimmy Fallon!
Jon Hamm was really there as a backup! They joked about it, but he was their insurance just in case. Another good guy.
I just think Lilo thought she did great in the opening, so she just quit trying after that. Or maybe she took something that kicked in right around Scared Straight.
Pity. I'd really like to see her get her act together. I think she sparkles when she's "right". She did much better than Emma Stone, for instance...
@jaariel OMG your bullie looks a lot like my little girl, Pearl! Love your pic!
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